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Why does sex change things?

My friend Brooke wants to do a dating do over. She wants to go back in time before she and her guy decided to become intimate. There has been a change in his attitude towards her and she thinks it is because they had sex. He isn’t as attentive or affectionate and he acts kind of distant towards her at times. Now she wonders if they had sex too soon at three months.

Why does sex sometimes change the dynamics in a relationship?

Do you believe that the way men and women view sex in a relationship differs? In a new relationship, how do you know if it is the right time to get physical?

If things change after sex, would you break things off?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

211 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
2:57 pm

Can you imagine both of them sitting waiting on the other to call? Nobody really got time for that right there.

Not at all…how juvenile.

It’s always the idiots from the tiny shops with no money that have the dumbest questions.

Ain’t that the truth. They’re the ones that annoy you the most and end being the biggest waste of time/energy/brain cells..

Dudes with the tiniest ____ and no money got all the demands!LOL!!

———flatline———

Lil itty bitty, pig in the blanket, weenie having a**… :lol:

SlimNu

November 6th, 2013
2:58 pm

swiss – Boy you said it then…i deal with that on a weekly basis. You seem then and hide like lawd, PLEASE don’t come over here asking me naaaaaaa’n thang about nothing.

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2013
2:58 pm

Was not expecting that from Kimmie. Wow

SlimNu

November 6th, 2013
2:58 pm

kimmie – Good one :lol: :lol:

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
2:58 pm

MsAtl/Yes – If I’m not calling, I’m not waiting either. Definitely chalk it to the game, especially since they’ve only been on 3 dates over a 2 month period. Now if we have been seeing each other steadily thru that 2 months, thought we had a nice connection, and I didn’t here from him, I MIGHT call once to check and see what’s up. But naw, it was nothing to him so keep it moving.

Yeah, she sounds young.

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
2:59 pm

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:03 pm

pig in the blanket

:lol: :lol:

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
3:05 pm

she sounds young

That’s what I initially thought when I read that…either way if he ain’t dead/somewhere incapacitated in someone’s hospital or otherwise infirmed and has NOT called…well charge it to the game and K.I.M.

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:08 pm

Place a woman in a position where they are denied by a man when they are ready and see what happens.

Willie – Hey, I would just have to respect him! Then go for a walk or take a shower or something. Especially if he was really hot! As long as I was sure it was just “not now” and not “never”!

SlimNu

November 6th, 2013
3:09 pm

Must’ve been 3 special dates…ijs

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
3:09 pm

kimmie I don’t know what it is but whenever the topic of a man with a lil weenie comes up, the ONE visual I ALWAYS get is that of a teeny pig in the blanket…that makes it even funnier(except to the dude with the lil weenie).

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2013
3:10 pm

Too bad we don’t get follow up on those situations. I’m almost positive dude will call her back. Prolly after 11pm on some testing the waters I’m sorry blah blah blah. 6 mos later she’ll have a real sob story. As it stands now, even swap ain’t no swindle K.i.M.

MsAtl

November 6th, 2013
3:14 pm

WD- Lol. I agree with you here…

daddy swiss

November 6th, 2013
3:18 pm

“whenever the topic of a man with a lil weenie comes up, the ONE visual I ALWAYS get is that of a teeny pig in the blanket…”

Sassy — And if the teeny weenie is uncircumcised, then it looks like a pig in the blanket with one of those Vienna sausages with a manufacturing defect…. lol

DuShawn

November 6th, 2013
3:18 pm

“– Hey, I would just have to respect him!” yeah right…..know good and well if dude says he will pass on the gutz, yall gone think the man is gay. Prolly tell all your friends. That seems to be the lastest ego preserver for women these days. If a dude turns you down, it doesn’t mean he don’t want puddy……maybe he just don’t want yours.

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:19 pm

Willie – You are so right!! If she just chills and goes on living her life, dude will call!!! They always do!

Celisea

November 6th, 2013
3:24 pm

I mentioned earlier not wanting to be that dude that’s a horndog. Well, I wouldn’t want to be Mr.Slick either. Usually he’s the only one that can’t tell he’s not all THAT slick… That his mess is transparent.

Celisea

November 6th, 2013
3:25 pm

Oh, yeah, did I say I meant to apply that to the dude that had 3 dates in two months…hahahaha

Celisea

November 6th, 2013
3:25 pm

I’m outta here…y’all, yous you…all y’all be good :)

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:26 pm

Du – For some women, you are right. But I have an extremely strong intuition about things. It takes a heck of a lot more than him turning me down for sex to suspect he bats for the other team. We would not even get to that point either. But yeah, just like I expect a man to respect no means no, I gotta give it to him too. And you are right, he just might not want me. That’s all part of the game. Rejection is a part of life, something some of these parent not teaching their kids, so they can’t handle adversity. Same with marriage – he might want to get married, not just to you. I had to tell a friend of mine that years ago that wasn’t reading the handwriting on the wall.

Everybody not gon want you!!!

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:28 pm

Sassy – That’s wild, cause I actually love pigs in the blanket, not the ones attached to a man tho! LOL!!!

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
3:30 pm

it looks like a pig in the blanket with one of those Vienna sausages with a manufacturing defect….

SWISS!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

If a dude turns you down, it doesn’t mean he don’t want puddy……maybe he just don’t want yours.

Ain’t nothing wrong with that..it is what it is. Some women don’t understand that NOT ALL men want to have schex ALL of the time.

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2013
3:33 pm

Ok reaching deep deep down to find my softer side lol. Really how hard is it for a woman to do the whole few dates thing 60/90 days whatnot. Then finally give up the goods and dude don’t even call back. Dayum that’s gotta hurt.

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
3:34 pm

cause I actually love pigs in the blanket, not the ones attached to a man tho!

kimmie you’re on a roll like sh.!t paper mami!! I couldn’t even imagine…you’re all ready for the real deal and here he comes with that… He will definitely NOT get a call back…

Heey maybe that’s why dude didn’t call her back…maybe he didn’t like her p..potato salad…

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
3:43 pm

Then finally give up the goods and dude don’t even call back. Dayum that’s gotta hurt.

Willie – No matter how few or how many days it took, it hurts. It’s hard to prepare a daughter to have to deal with the possibility of that, I mentioned earlier.

Reio

November 6th, 2013
3:51 pm

I always wanted to know where she stood on the idea of premarital sex. So I asked. Early second, third date. Didn’t waste time. Their responses would vary, but, for the most part, they would give me the “two consenting adults….”, or “That’s kinda personal….I don’t know you….”, routine. I wanted to know, cause if she didn’t answer, or answered wrong, she was out. I moved on. Why waste either of our times?

SlimNu

November 6th, 2013
3:52 pm

Willie – It’s a definite blow to the ego…

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
3:59 pm

It’s hard to prepare a daughter to have to deal with the possibility of that

As I read the comments some of the males made this morning regarding how there’s just NO WAY ANY man would wait for ~90 days before schex and how they want the goods NOW instead of later I wondered…1. Do they have daughters, 2. Would they want their daughter to be treated/valued like a quick piece of pie because you’re h.or.ny 3. Would they want their daughter to date a man who shares the views they’ve expressed today?

Also, I’ve noticed that alot of times it’s the girl that made them wait, deem as worthy and later go back to (or try to),take home to mommy and marry…

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
4:07 pm

O/T: Remember the guy who played the nasty prison guard in “Green Mile” (Doug Hutchison age 52) who married a girl named Courtney (age 17,that’s a 35 yr difference) a few years ago? Umm they’re divorcing…I would’ve never seen that coming :lol:

They were on that reality couple’s therapy show on Vh-1 and thoroughly disgusted everyone there…even the therapist.

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
4:07 pm

Sassy – A lot do, have daughters, but it doesn’t matter to them. Though I do think a few think about it once they have daughters and think about them dating and such.

Some men complain about having to approach a woman first and deal with possible rejection. It’s one thing to get turned down asking for a phone number or a date. It’s another thing all together to deal with sharing your body with someone and get tossed to the side like garbage. I mean, you can’t even call?

That’s why it was a whole lot easier to deal with the rejection if I waited awhile, not rushed into anything.

DuShawn

November 6th, 2013
4:08 pm

-”60/90 days whatnot. Then finally give up the goods and dude don’t even call back….”- I’m ashamed to say…..well kinda sorta, but I know this mentality. At some point during the wait process dude concluded he didn’t feel her like that and her opportunity for advancement was minimal. The honorable thing to do at that point is to respectfully end it. On the other hand, you’ve invested time, dinners, conversations, etc. You might as well hang in there and get your ROI. Initially she had you waiting for the azz. Now, you’re merely tolerating her until you get the azz. Then when you get it, you ride out like you will never get it again…….because you prolly won’t. Afterwards you don’t call because the power has shifted. Now it’s her turn to wait……..that’s when you implement your own 90 day rule. Granted the entire exchange is childish, but I’ve been there.

kimmie

November 6th, 2013
4:09 pm

This has been a blast, but gotta run!

Be easy, gang!

Reio

November 6th, 2013
4:12 pm

1. yes, I have daughters
2. No, I would not want my daughters treated like a quick piece of pie cause he was horny.
3. Yes, I would want them to date a guy that shares the same views that I have expressed.Why? Cause they will know early, where he stands, and be in a better position to make a decision on the relationship. Maybe that’s all he wants. Or maybe, all he wants, at least early in the relationship, is the indicartion that she is not against it. That knowledge alon, is enough to keep some guys around.

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2013
4:16 pm

Kimmie/Sassy- you ladies are right. For whatever its worth dudes are not wired that way. We don’t see the hurt, compassion and all that yards yada yada. Being the father a pre-teen daughter I can say I don’t have any answers. I can fall back on being real with her and tell her no matter how well I raise her some joker will more than likely smash her heart into 1,000 pieces.

Du- me too. Me and this Karma bish gotta come to a understanding real quick like.

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
4:16 pm

Granted the entire exchange is childish

Cosign…

Peace out kimmie…

Reio…okay your views/opinions are your own.

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
4:21 pm

There was alot of bravado poppin this morning that was borderline denigrating towards women who choose to wait…and I was wondering if they wanted their daughters to be thought of in the manner in which they were posting.

Ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun…

Mrs. SexyCool

November 6th, 2013
4:22 pm

I can’t remember ever not being called back after sex. I can remember things fizzling out after some time, but not right after the sex.

DuShawn

November 6th, 2013
4:24 pm

Enter your comments here

Reio

November 6th, 2013
4:24 pm

Hell, at least he’s up front about it. And if she lets him know, in her own way, that she is not against it, in a relationship, many guys will take that bit of knowledge and want to continue to pursue her. If he gets the cold shoulder or no positive feedback, he’ll either leave, or continue to wait, while he gets it elsewhere. We are all in charge of our own clocks and timetables. If yours(women) is slower than his, wellllllllll…let’s just say, you’re pushing him out the door without even trying.

DuShawn

November 6th, 2013
4:25 pm

Sexy – it’s not too late. if you want that experience, I’m here for you.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 6th, 2013
4:26 pm

Du….shet-up….

daddy swiss

November 6th, 2013
4:26 pm

“I can’t remember ever not being called back after sex”

SexyCool — Don’t be modest. Go on & say it. Youz got skillzzzzzzzzz. ;-)

Mrs. SexyCool

November 6th, 2013
4:28 pm

That good-good. (lol)

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2013
4:28 pm

The rabbit nowadays don’t want the gun. They want a bullet. J/k j/k

Reio

November 6th, 2013
4:29 pm

You ladies have 3 things going against you. 1. I don’t want to wait 3 months, 2. I don’t have to wait 3 months, and, 3. Other women. Sorry. Just the way it is.

Exiled

November 6th, 2013
4:29 pm

In Atlanta if u don’t tap it early she thinks u gay! :lol:

We still on topic?

so dudes gotta represent

2CPTG©

November 6th, 2013
4:29 pm

They want a bullet

hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!

Sassy Me

November 6th, 2013
4:30 pm

If she lets him know, “I’m saying no not right now” then that’s only fair but I agree that if the cold shoulder is being given then he can either leave or stay of his own accord.

We are all in charge of our own clocks and timetables. If yours(women) is slower than his, wellllllllll…let’s just say, you’re pushing him out the door without even trying.

If that’s the case then maybe booty was all he wanted.

DuShawn

November 6th, 2013
4:31 pm

I bet that bullet don’t have to wait three months.

Exiled

November 6th, 2013
4:33 pm

And these days,ladies..if dude keeps cowing back after sex..u don’t know if it’s the vag sex or ur mouf/head skilz that makes him keep calling !

:lol:

kinda cool to have a double threat!