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Dating: Are you being used?

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are skeptical about someone’s intentions, you should probably proceed with caution. Sometimes, people can be jerks and they want to get their own selfish needs met: sex, free meals, attention from anyone willing to give it.

The question is how do you know when you are being used and what do you do about it?

I have a friend who only seems to hear from a guy on Fridays. I know another friend who has taken a young lady out to multiple restaurants but she always turns him down for any activity does not include a meal. What are other ways do you think singles use people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

86 comments Add your comment

Celisea

November 4th, 2013
1:23 pm

What did I do….this time???

Sometimes, when you can’t win for losing and can’t please everyone, you just say eff it…lol

I think 2Can has given up. He’s not posted his email addy in a couple of days

Durty Burd

November 4th, 2013
1:25 pm

A former boo of mine was very good at telling me I used her body, I simply would say you did not say anything when you were having all those O’s or the house you got! lol She won that battle…

Durty Burd

November 4th, 2013
1:27 pm

Celisea you are too funny! I was just picking on you…Why are you on edge when it comes to someone mentioning your name on the blog? I know you not like that at home…

2C is currently too busy fielding all the e-mails on a regular basis…

Celisea

November 4th, 2013
1:28 pm

Durty, no boo…I’m splendid. I was being a bit sarcastic. Loosen up, boo :)

Miss Moni

November 4th, 2013
1:37 pm

-Durty I’m about to email you right now!!! :-D

Button

November 4th, 2013
1:48 pm

Miss Moni – even if he provided me a lifestyle of the rich and famous I would still not want to be a beard!! lol

Sassy – he tried to pull a slick one on you, good thing you didn’t fall for the okie dokie.

Leggs

November 4th, 2013
1:51 pm

“Being used– well if that is how you feel why are you still saying yes.” – My same thought. If you don’t speak up, then you are willingly participating in you being a dormat.

I have been used in the past and I have used…going forward, I will try for neither to happen.

Good afternoon!

Miss Moni

November 4th, 2013
1:51 pm

-Button To be totally honest, Porsha was just fine with being the beard. She wanted to stay married to Kordell and continue to live that Rich & Fabulous lifestyle.

Button

November 4th, 2013
2:45 pm

Miss Moni – from what I’ve seen from the show, I think she really loved him. She was there for the long haul, till death do us part. It’s always sad when a marriage end. She seems a bit ding batish though lol

Miss Moni

November 4th, 2013
2:50 pm

-Button Yes, and after listening to her mama talk last night, I will say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Porsha was very content being the “Trophy Wife”.

Where is everyone???

Leggs

November 4th, 2013
3:07 pm

SassyMe ~ didn’t make it to the movies this weekend.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 4th, 2013
3:25 pm

We saw “12 Years A Slave on Friday”, it was brutal.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 4th, 2013
3:34 pm

I wish this thing had an edit button. I see where I just posted a run-on sentence with incorrect punctuation.

(lol)

kimmie

November 4th, 2013
3:34 pm

SCool – Me nor hubs will be able to take that. We don’t do too well with those types of films. Too upsetting.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 4th, 2013
3:39 pm

There were several scenes where I had to turn my head away from the screen. I almost didn’t make it. M asked me more than once if I wanted to leave. At one point during the movie, I turned to him and said, “No more slave movies.”

However, after some time to reflect, I am glad we saw it. You often hear people talk about the horrors of the Holocaust (and rightly so.) Rarely do we talk about the horrors of slavery. To see this movie’s graphic depiction was very difficult to watch. However, it gives you a look past how slavery is romanticized in history books and glossed over in most Hollywood movies.

This movie was very different from Django in the way that Django is the slave that we would like to think we could have been. Solomon Northup is the slave that we probably would have been.

kimmie

November 4th, 2013
3:40 pm

I’m doing a veggie/fruit/grains detox/fast for a few days, trying for a week. I’ve feeling pretty good already, but all this water is running right thru me!!

Miss Moni

November 4th, 2013
3:44 pm

-Mrs.SexyCool Thanks for the feedback on the movie. Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show stated that it’s a must see.

kimmie

November 4th, 2013
3:44 pm

SCool – And to top it all off, the singer is at it again with her spirituals!! I talked to her manager about it Friday and she was going to speak to her about it today, but she’s out sick!

Mrs. SexyCool

November 4th, 2013
3:56 pm

Did I ever tell y’all about the old lady out here who sings hymns ALL THE TIME?!?!? She does not work for our company. But every time I pass by her on the concourse, she is singing. And lawd, she will even be in the bathroom, in the stall, singing.

It’s kinda creepy.

kimmie

November 4th, 2013
4:14 pm

SCool – Yes, very depressing!!

Miss Moni

November 4th, 2013
4:18 pm

-Mrs.SexyCool Maybe that old lady knows something that y’all don’t, LOL!!!

Single & Happy

November 4th, 2013
4:40 pm

Diva, you didn’t turn the blog’s clock back. And having noticed that…that ummm somebody was blogging at 5 this morning??? AND!! :-?

Reio

November 4th, 2013
4:52 pm

Well, I didn’t see ‘Django’, have np plans to. I know it’s out of the theaters but I won’t make an effort to see it. ‘12 years a slave’ sounds like another one I won’t see. Not because I have a problem with them. I do believe we should support people/companies that put forth the effort to do accurate depictions of this part of history.

But this is what bothers me. And I hope to not upset anyone who disagrees. The movies are fine. Especially those that stick as closely to the truth as possible. No matter how graphic or degrading. The problem I have is in the way so many of us can see these depictions, read about them, read the words of slaves, and former slaves, imagine how truly hard life was for them, and then go about our daily lives, not even trying to honor them by our behavior. This would certainly not apply to anyone here, but far too many of us appear to have no desire whatsoever to live our lives to the fullest and strive for excellence. We OWE these slaves!! We owe them big time. We owe them for persevering, enduring extreme hardship, for praying, for believing, for loving, for caring……..against impossible odds.

I suspect that many, if not most, of you, can trace your roots back to a slave. Hell, all I would have to do is go from my mother to grandmother to great grandmother to a slave. Simple. We aren’t that far removed. Over the years I’ve read books, seen documentaries of accounts from the, memories of former slaves, and children of slaves, and the stories they told would make one’s blood boil. This knowledge and the upbringing I had, is what caused me to want to achieve and not fail in life. Out of respect for them and those before them. Far too many of us have failure as a viable option in all that we endeavor. Hell, some of us have failure as an expected outcome for everything we do. I’ve long since tired of it. So when I see or hear of us, any of us, acting badly, foolishly….I become angry. Really angry. Each of us is here because some slave, somewhere, on some plantation, didn’t give up. The least each of us can do is return the favor, and not give up. Always try. Be respectful of yourself as well as others. Honor them and their memory with your words and deeds. Don’t give others today any more ammunition to throw in our faces. Be positive……Hell.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled broadcasting. Albeit a slow one.

Reio

November 4th, 2013
4:58 pm

Speaking of being used, during my dating years, there were a few that I would have enjoyed being used by. But they were either married or in a relationship, so I moved on. Just sayin.

kimmie

November 4th, 2013
4:59 pm

Reio – I agree with everything you said. You sound almost like my parents. Strive for no less than excellence.

And with that, I’m out Gang!

Have a good and peaceful evening.

Reio

November 4th, 2013
5:03 pm

DuShawn

November 4th, 2013
5:06 pm

Reio…..I must admit, my opinion of your comments (although always well written) is that they are fabricated to garner female support, blow smoke up their azz, too good to be true, tell them what they want to hear b&llsh*d. However, that 4:52 was by far your most insightful writing to date.

Reio

November 4th, 2013
5:10 pm

DuShawn – Well, thank you. I have enough female support, three older sisters, mother, daughters, nieces, wife. Soooo……….

Leggs

November 4th, 2013
5:12 pm

Reio ~ I agree with all. I’m getting sick. Hopefully will blog tomorrow.

Reio

November 4th, 2013
5:14 pm

Leggs – Take care.

Celisea

November 4th, 2013
5:20 pm

I owe no one but my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Things happen and change is brought about at the hand of the Almighty. On his time, when it’s time. Just like he free the Hebrews, he brought about a change for black folks. Only he knows why things happen the way they do and for however long. Who can call God Almighty into question?

If man ain’t got a heaven or hell, can prevent death, can take me to my final resting place, then they ain’t possessing the power I need. I need the one that holds all power in his hand.

And btw, folks act the way they act because of sin….now THAT’S the silent killer. Remember we’re not fighting against flesh and blood but principalities and powers in high places??? Ever read that?? The more folks denouce all that is holy and right, you gon see more that what you see now. God don’t beg folks, he allows you to pick a team, but he ain’t responsible for the outcome if you don’t pick his.

Celisea

November 4th, 2013
5:23 pm

And what I’m striving for is far beyond this world. If it ends here and I can’t take it with me, then it ends here. I’m striving for taking in the grave with me, the one thing that’s gonna get me up….the Spirit of God. If you go in without, you ain’t getting up on the first resurection. As the good book says, the second resurrection have no power. So yeah, don’t assuming some aren’t striving…I am, but for something far greater, far more powerful, that reaches over into eternity.

With that…I’m out!

Celisea

November 4th, 2013
5:24 pm

Hope that didn’t kill y’alls vibe :)

Toodles!!

DuShawn

November 4th, 2013
5:26 pm

Reio -Your welcome…that was actually a compliment, although slightly backhanded. Anyway on topic, I can remember dating this chick with some major bread. She would often get limos, suites and plane tickets. She would fly me into different cities, where she would be on business, for our rendezvous. I cared little about her, but the sex was great (not to mention the gifts) I once bragged to one of my potnahs about how I was using her and how my pimpin deserved a salute………He corrected me by saying “Bruh, look at that situation…..you not the pimp….you’re the hoe” Made me think.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 4th, 2013
5:41 pm

Well, dern, Du….(lol)

Reio

November 4th, 2013
5:41 pm

DuShawn -Yo potnah was right. But you loved every minute of it. Soooo………Everybody’s happy.