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Dating: Body type preferences?

Whenever people try to set my friend Mark up on a blind date, he always makes sure to ask about her body type. His preferences are specific and he already thinks that anyone who does not fit that won’t be attractive to him. He believes that being honest about what you find most attractive is not shallow, it is realistic.

It just always bugged me that Mark would literally rule a really lovely person out without one conversation or opportunity to check for chemistry. Do you think that having a body type preference such as height or weight another excuse that singles use not to give someone a chance?

This is just as prevalent in online dating when you select what you want to “filter” out in terms of what you are looking for in a date. Is that actually the smart way to go?

Have you ever noticed that you are attracted to people with a certain body type? Have you really dated based on that specific kind of person? What happens when we leave our “type” and try to leave our comfort zone a little?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

222 comments Add your comment

Lee

October 17th, 2013
7:20 am

I dated all kinds of body types. Not so much looking for the outside as i am the inside .

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
7:56 am

Diva, I with you today….I think it’s shallow. Don’t get me wrong, people like what they like and to some degree, nothing is wrong with that. But when you block out (no doubt) sooo many good potentials cause you looking for a specific certain shape, I think that’s crosses over into being vain and just plain silly, especially when you’re growing up and learn that there’s sooo much more to people than a shape. Tell Mark to keep living, there’s a bunch of stuff “life” itself will have him rethinking…lol Yeah, go for that chick that’s rotten or lazy or trifling (cheater)….she fine though…lololol

I’ve been fortunante in dating dudes that not only have been pretty decent as it relates to principles and class and just overall good dudes, I’ve also been fortunante that most were pretty good looking…IJS I like a “fit”, nice looking (I’on do pretty) dude, over and above and nope, I won’t do big bellied dudes, but I wouldn’t be so simple that I’ll just block folks cause I can’t see the specific shape I prefer. I mean, sit across the table, have a convo, see what it’s all about, before you toss someone that’s probably beautiful on the inside, gon love you to their core, gon give you babies, gon bath you when you’re sick, gon fix you warm meals, gon give you that warm loving home.

I’m not knocking folks liking what they like, cause I’m one that likes what I like, but Mark c’mon, this entire scenario seems a bit extreme.

I think women are more flexible on this subject though, anyway. We want good dudes, not someone so dang pretty he’s blocking you from getting in the mirror, or beating chicks off his ankles, or too pretty to hustle and take care of home…. Naw, got no time fa dat!!

Single & Happy

October 17th, 2013
8:09 am

Hello All

We all have types in the people we like. If you’re not attracted to them then that’s just part of life, everyone is not for everyBODY!

This is just as prevalent in online dating when you select what you want to “filter” out in terms of what you are looking for in a date. Is that actually the smart way to go? yes, if you wouldn’t be attracted to them if you meet them in any other setting why should you take a chance just because it’s online.

And just because a person has a body type doesn’t mean that they’ll put up with a whole bunch of $hyt to keep that type around.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
8:19 am

I’m not saying “phione” folks are shotty, I’m saying Mark is the extreme and no doubt will end up with a chick rotten to the core cause his “weeding” process is based solely on body type…and that’s all. Diva mentioned nothing about brains, or compassion, or zest for life ALONG with being fine… How does he know what would be attractive if he don’t step out of his box??

But, folks like what they like, no crime there

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
8:20 am

Gotta get out of here and get to work…..

BBL :)

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
8:26 am

Celisea…u contradicting yourself…u don’t like big bellies but in the same vein saying Mark is wrong for liking what he likes..like yourself.

I don’t like Big,two bellied ummm either. Like them tallish,medium(don’t like skinny) and chocolate to dark(not light skinned,he’ll naw!!)

It is what is

Mark has standards and so do I and Celisea(for that matter!) :lol:
(and people with their standards don’t owe nobody an explanation)
Good morning MIA

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
8:27 am

MMeello, my dear you’re right. I like what I like, and frankly I’m guud. I’m not vain or extreme though….I don’t think

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
8:30 am

I think Mark is extreme. I’m just saying meet the person. MMeello, say you like nothing but a 24 inch waist. Well what if you sit down with someone, she’s what 27 or 28 or 29 or 30 even, in the waiste, but you talk and munch a bit, find the convo enlightening….. Or you make a date and things go over well. What? Okay, that’s all I’m saying :)

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
8:33 am

I don’t think it’s shallow. Attraction plays a big role in two people getting together for various reasons (dating, sex, etc). You like what you like and can’t help it…and shouldn’t apologize for it. Now if you discount someone because they are half an inch too short/too tall or 3lbs over/under a weight range then that’s just going too far and is quite shallow.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
8:37 am

Good Thursday Morning MIA! *It’s Friday Eve* :-D

Have you ever noticed that you are attracted to people with a certain body type? Yep, I sure am totally attracted to the basketball player build!!!

What happens when we leave our “type” and try to leave our comfort zone a little? Hmmm, I got uninterested or disappointed.

I believe that it’s totally OK to like what you like! Hey, not everyone eats beets, so why should I go outside of my comfort zone and try beets when I already find them disgusting no matter how you fix them up. Same concept with me dating overweight guys, I’m simply NOT interested.

As Celisea stated, there’s no crime in liking what you like.

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
8:48 am

Good morning…I’ve dated all different types. ;-)

Button

October 17th, 2013
8:48 am

Question: is Mark fine? is his body tight? is he tall? What I’ve seen is that the people that require a certian body type doesn’t possess that certian body type themselves.

Do you think that having a body type preference such as height or weight another excuse that singles use not to give someone a chance? This is my bff right here, she rules guys out bc they are too short. She’s 5′3 but will rule a guy out if he’s under 6 feet tall. I tell her all the time , the rate she’s going she’s going to be single forever, since the average height of a man is around 5′8. She also want him to have a six pack but she’s far from it herself. All the physical requirements she want in a man she’s not even close to having it herself.

What happens when we leave our “type” and try to leave our comfort zone a little? that’s when you’ll end up meeting someone and falling in love with them, someone you never thought you’d be with.

My body type is healthy, in shape, not big on height but a healthy weight is a plus. I don’t really care for the big gut It doesn’t have to be a six pack but no spare tire. Hair was always optional well except for the comb over and I’ll twinge at the balding guy. My guy is my type, except I never liked the bald faced guys, I hope just for one day he would surprise me and let his facial hair grow out and sport a goatee.

Good morning!

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
8:57 am

-Button So you’re anti comb over, LOL!!!

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
9:04 am

Celisea..u never want to have a lump on ur throat even if she has a nice personality..because that lump will give u the ‘excuse’ when things start to sour.

…and frankly,us dudes can be ugly,short,even be unemployed but still insist on a phoine chic.. :lol:

Button

October 17th, 2013
9:10 am

Miss Moni – I can’t do the comb over tsk tsk tsk LOL

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

October 17th, 2013
9:11 am

We all have “types” (body, personality, etc).

Where most of the problems occur is being so drawn physically, emotionally, or by this person’s personality that we overlook other shortcomings.

Yes, I’m physically attracted to her, but her attitude is stank… but I’ll overlook it because she’s hot.

The conversation is mentally stimulating, but she’s not my physical type.

I’m for stepping out of the box we create for ourselves to try and experience different things. Even slight adjustments to a “type” brings about an experience with a person that could affect your life positively.

And except for the 3 or so years that I was practicing eugenics with other 6 footers, I’ve dated all shapes, sizes, ethinicities, religious preferences, etc.

Good morning.

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
9:14 am

Good Morning!

Exiled you beat me to it, I was going to stop working to go in on Celisea contradition…

I have dated ladies who were taller than me and ladies who were a whole lot shorter me. If I find you fascinating even though you might not be the physical fit that I like we could still date. I am open to dating different types of woman.

O.K. who wants to go out this week? j/k

MissMoni…86 percent of the men in this world is less than 6ft tall so I guess the odds of you sharing just went up…j/k

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
9:16 am

Button. Good point!

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
9:19 am

I do not have a problem with Mark looks request…If depending on where I am mentally about dating if I want to get serious or just date, I would request specifics as well!

Weedem out mannnnnn!

Button that is the mentality of the folks of today, they want to date/married folks that have something they do not have. My new mantra is relationship mismatches does not last nor work.

You out of shape but you want someone in shape..I see it at the gym everday the person who is working out is starting to look at those folks who are working out too…

disco

October 17th, 2013
9:28 am

good morning. shallow or not, it is what it is. I am one that definitely has a preference for a certain body type. I also have certain body types that no amount of persuasion will get me try. I don’t care how nice they are or how good they are on paper.

C – I’m all for stepping out of the box but I understand how body type can be a big box to get out of. lol. there’s just too many of them out there. you might vary a degree or two or three but some folks are a whole 180. I’m with old boy and I ain’t gone be able to do it.

disco

October 17th, 2013
9:34 am

miss moni – basketball player build? you mean like spud webb? j/k.

re not being what you want. that’s not my stance. I’ve always stood by my math reference though of greater than or equal to. no shorts. I bring it, you bring it. lol. and just because I’m short doesn’t mean I can tolerate the short man. the 5’4” dude needs to keep stepping. I’m also not for the thin/frail dude. I cannot/will not weigh more than my man. the little 150 lb dude needs to keep stepping.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
9:37 am

MMeello – Agreed 9:04

disco – I hear ya. I think everyone should go with what they like. No way I’m saying that. However, being that we’re all flawed somewhere, I think it’s okay to see what’s under the hood (not like that!!). See what the person is working with. I mean if what you desire is not there, so much so that you can’t do it (cause I’ve had those too), then don’t. My only point (and stance) is no varying at all, of any sort. I prefer tall, but 5′9″ ish is okay. Something along those lines. I’m not saying do ratchet, “cause she fine.”

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
9:39 am

“Do you think that having a body type preference such as height or weight another excuse that singles use not to give someone a chance?” – Yes, I do. We seem to sabatoge ourselves looking for “the right” person. If you can’t even check for chemistry, then you may have a problem lasting forever! We certainly have our preferences, but to shift so slightly away from some of them may not be deterimental. In fact, one might be pleasantly surprised. I love nice biceps, but men in my dating age usually have flabby arms. I “might” have to give up on that body preference (rofl). It’s not the end of all things.

Give yourself some wiggle room. Could be why Mark is still looking. He’s stuck!

Good morning.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:43 am

-Durty I’ve been known to defy the odds! ;-)

-Disco LOL at the Spud Webb comment. There are some women who actually prefer short men, I’m just not one of them. :-)

disco

October 17th, 2013
9:48 am

leggs – did you finish the book? lol.

moni – there are some women who actually prefer short men (in the other sense of the word). I’m not one of them either. lol.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:49 am

-Leggs Hey!!! Ok, I don’t date guys who smoke anything. Why, I have asthma. I’m not going to enjoy a date with a guy who smells like a smoke stack or who insists on smoking during the drive to the movies. So yeah, I’m weeding him out if he smokes unless he is in the process of getting some help to stop.

Another example, if you live at home with your mama and/or are not currently legally employed then I’m going to keep it moving. I’m not interested in a project and therefore I’m not even going that route. Some stuff people can nip in the bud from Day 1. Other people like to tag along for the additional drama. Live and LEARN.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
9:50 am

Nice post, Leggs. Well said

Y’all men are funny and NEVER off the job…..

I had a dude to come by yesterday and replace a part on my furnace. Well he had another dude with him that was handing him the tools he needed. I left work early (while y’all was blogging), came home, put on sweats and a tshirtl. He chatted a bit while he worked. He joked that he didn’t smell any food cooking, (sort of poked around) and asked “so what are you gonna fix your boyfriend”, asked where were my kids, complimented my floors (when he first walked in), brazenly said, “I’m 41, how old are you”, so forth and so on, but poking around. The other dude seemed younger and REALLY jumped into the “dating” convo. He wanted my take on what I thought about this , that and the other, would I date outside my race, what’s up with women wanting you to buy drinks for them and their friends…yada yada yada. Anyhoo, they both seemed cool but I ain’t gon lie, I was shoooole hoping neither asked for anything further. lololol Why? Cause I’m booed for one, and cause neither would have been my type, if I were open or looking for someone. One was just outright co cky and the other was seem much more laid back, but had beedy bee facial hair and dreads…lolol Funny thing, when the brash dude walks out, he turns and says, “and paint your toes a bright color…that’s what I like.” The other yelled back from the truck, “what color are they”, he yells “just plain mayne…….MEN DON’T EVER NOT LOOK/SLEEP.

To my favorite blogger, don’t come on here talkin’ bout I think every man wants me…I’m making a point…k?

Button

October 17th, 2013
9:52 am

Miss Moni/disco – what is short to you?

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:52 am

-Disco I gotcha & totally understand.

Another example: I don’t care how FINE a man is, if he is a self proclaimed THUG, then once again I’m NOT interested. I don’t find anything attractive about a 30-40something year old thug. Like seriously, get yo life! However there are some women who ONLY want a thug, SMH. . .

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:54 am

-Button My height or shorter and I’m 5′4. My preference is at least 5′7 or taller, so when I wear heels I won’t be towering over the guy. :-)

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
9:54 am

The truck was in the drive way and we were on the porch. The dude in the truck was within earshot of the convo….

I know how some folks can be….IJS

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
9:55 am

I like corporate thugs…..I ain’t gon lie :) Now when I say corporate thug, you can’t be commiting crimes and stuff….

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:56 am

“beedy bee facial hair and dreads”

-Celisea So far, that’s my laugh for the morning, LOL!!!

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
9:58 am

When you come from dating a person with a super nice body, it really is a shock when the next person’s isn’t….so nice. :shock: lol

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
9:58 am

-Celisea Please give me some more details about what a corporate thug is.

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:01 am

Miss Moni – ok, most consider 5′7 short, heck anything under 5′9 as short.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
10:03 am

@DB relationship mismatches do not work. When one person is in the gym, trying to get back into shape, doing vegetarian fasts, watching what they eat and then the other person is just bringing home checkers’ and church’s and having wanton disregard for what the other person is trying to do. It doesn’t work.

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:05 am

Celisea – corporate thug would that mean he’s sporting a hard rock body with tattoos on his neck in chinese and two tear drops under his left eye with a red bandana trowing up crips hand sign?

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:07 am

Celisea – all the while wearing a nice suit and tie with pants kinda sagging?

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
10:07 am

-Button I suppose it depends on how tall the woman is. If I was 5′8 then yes 5′9 would definitely be short to me.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:08 am

MissMoni – Underneath all that hair, I can bet he was a nice looking brother. He seemed pretty cool though, just from the short convo. Almost soft spoken.

MissMoni – I dunno, I just know I dated one. First off, does everything legally….lol I think there’s a range of things….I guess Dresses professionally and can hang in a professional environment, but is in touch with his folks, the hood, not too goodie-too-shoed. Can cop a squat with the best of them, “gets it”, understand the plight of someone tryna make it, tryna come up. Don’t look down on them, but don’t apologize for doing the dang thing. Can get his hustle on if the corporate world fails him…… Chile, I don’t know….lol

Disclaimer: I’M NOT DATING THUGS. I’M NOT LOOKING FOR THUGS. I’M ONLY FUNNING….a bit

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:08 am

Button – Nuh uh and nuh uh

disco

October 17th, 2013
10:09 am

moni – I’m with you. I’ve been judged for not giving guys a chance because they lived with someone. I’m not down with you living with your momma or any other relative, having a roommate, none of that. I am willing to accept that there is a difference between living with your momma and your momma living with you. if it’s your momma’s house and she’s still getting around, working and doing stuff – your momma does not live with you. lol. I met a guy recently who revealed around phone call 3 that he lived in an apartment with a roommate. that was the last time we spoke. ijs.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:10 am

Button – You got jokes, I see

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:11 am

just bringing home checkers’ and church’s

Not Church’s Chicken…..lolololol

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
10:15 am

no one mentioned ethnicity? or I missed it. I’ve always been attracted to black men. Likes of Boris, Vin Diesel. Physically in shape, good looking, light skin and all. My husband looks a lot like Vin Diesel. He sometimes does get on me about that and calls me superficial. But I couldn’t help what I liked.

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:15 am

Celisea – just j/k with ya. I’m curious what is a corporate thug? I’ve heard that term before but never really know what it means.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:16 am

Morning All!

It just always bugged me that Mark would literally rule a really lovely person out without one conversation or opportunity to check for chemistry. Do you think that having a body type preference such as height or weight another excuse that singles use not to give someone a chance?

On topic – Lovely to YOU Wise Diva. Singles don’t need an “excuse” to not give someone a chance. That’s the beautiful thing about being grown and free. You can do exactly what you want. That was the thing that really bugged me when I was single and getting older. Folks thought I should abandon the notion of actually being attracted to a man and just take whatever came my way because I was not 22 anymore.

Stepping out of ones comfort zone and trying something different is a very personal thing. You have to come to that conclusion on your own. Otherwise you make yourself and the other person you’re trying to force yourself to be with, miserable. It needs to happen naturally. Mark might decide to broaden his horizons and try a different type of lady, OR he might meet someone that’s got 80% of what he wants and can work with the other 20% because he fell in love OR he just might meet someone that is exactly what he’s looking for! It’s his life!

Folks need to stop worrying about who is bypassing who or who is being bypassed.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
10:16 am

Morning All!

There are certain types of people you are attracted to but it is possible to go too far. If you have very specific height/weight/color/hair, etc. requirements, then yes, you seem shallow to me. While there needs to be some sort of chemistry, if all I wanted was something nice to look at, I would buy art. I need more than that- conversation, personality, decency, etc.

Button- You are so wrong for your corporate thug description, lol. However, I have seen a man with his suit pants sagging Not a good look!

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
10:17 am

Thanks Celisea for breaking that down, LOL! I do get what you’re saying.

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
10:18 am

@YesSheIsCute – regarding the “relationship mismatches do not work” comment, I will have to say that it is hard to have someone fit in a relationship and the other person not fit at all. Initially I was a bit over my ideal height/age weight limit by 10 lbs. But being around someone who is fit made me get serious and get on track.

disco

October 17th, 2013
10:26 am

hazel – in general I’m not into light skin. in general, I am not into good hair. I could make exceptions for either of these though. I most definitely cannot under any circumstances get with a black man with “funny colored” eyes. I need brown eyes. green, gray, hazel, none of that. it looks scary to me and I can’t do it. lol.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
10:26 am

And while I consider myself down to earth and can hang with different types of folks, if I am dating you, I’m going to need you to speak English. That means knowing that axing me is attempted murder and pacific is an ocean. Nah’mean?

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:27 am

I’ve been around folks who are very, very particular about what they want physically and I guess you might call them shallow or superficial. The beautiful thing is that they were out with it, everyone knew that’s how they were. I’ve had guys make comments kinda like the dude in Cel’s example. I’ve had them look at me and size me up, look at me up & down, give me the verdict on whether or not I “passed” their inspection.

People like that make it so easy for others who might find that a turnoff. I would just laugh to myself and thank God I did not have to deal with them on a regular basis. Some other chick is so very welcome to that!!LOL!!!

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:28 am

Hazel – @ethnicity, I’ve always dated a mixture of races, moreso nonblack men. I’m a mixture of many ethnicites, so for me I’m not attracted to just one race.

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
10:31 am

I’m down with the brown ;-) Never really been into the light bright dudes.

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
10:33 am

@Disco- I can understand that. : )
@Button – That sounds beautiful. Mixture of ethnicities is awesome!

Dynamic

October 17th, 2013
10:34 am

Well ladies yall can keep the basketball players. I love the football players! OMG with a full low beard and a nice hair cut.

Button

October 17th, 2013
10:35 am

I’ve never been attracted to chinese, korean, japanese or indian men.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
10:37 am

disco ~ I picked up the book last night and read two pages…then I put it back down (lol). I had things to do other than sit down and read. Also, I said I had about 2 chapters left, it’s more like five.

“That means knowing that axing me is attempted murder and pacific is an ocean. Nah’mean?” – That has me cracking up!

Hey Dynamic ~ you a newbie or an oldhead w/a new name?? Welcome.

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
10:38 am

@MsAtl- what if that person had a heavy accent? is that cool?

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
10:39 am

@Button- oh but they are all soo smart !! ; ) I’m Indian and Indians are hot to me, not all of em though. But I get what u are saying.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:41 am

Hey Disco!

Funny, my “type” was never really the type that were attracted to me. I always liked not pretty but cute handsome, pecan brown guys that were kinda buff and medium height. I married the build and he is handsome, bald and light, go figure.

While I had my preferences, I still went for those that went for me!

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

October 17th, 2013
10:41 am

@Miss Moni

You don’t know what you’re missing (re: corporate thugs).

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
10:41 am

Bring all on! From Dark chocolate to swedish white…Durty is open for business! hehehehehehe!

Celisea are you referring to me or exiled? You know all the men want you except me….lol

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
10:42 am

-Disco/Slim Traditionally I’ve been a fan of the light-skin guy, however I’ve matured and I’m not caught up in the color of his skin, but I do prefer to date a guy of my own race. Black love is just so beautiful to me. :-)

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
10:44 am

-Dan I suppose that would be something that I would just have to actually see as appealing to me. I’ve never dated a corporate thug. . . The whole thug part just turns me off. I just want my guy to be well-rounded.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:45 am

Durty – I didn’t speak to anyone specific….if it’s you that does that, then you, if not then buzz off… :)

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:46 am

Button/Hazel – I guess you could say I limited myself. While I have found men of all races/ethnicities attractive, I’ve never wanted to date or marry outside of my own. The biggest thing I could not get past were cultural and religious differences, especially religion. I was not changing or converting for anyone.

Guess I like what I like.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:46 am

I’m don’t do unbelievers. That’s the only absolute no.

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
10:47 am

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
10:47 am

It seems I’ve dated more light skinned guys. I didn’t seek them out, but like kimmie stated, I went for those that went for me. They just happened to be light bright dudes (lol)

disco

October 17th, 2013
10:48 am

hey kimmie!!! – your hubs is bald and light skinnededed? do you ever call him lightbulb head or lemon head? lol.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:51 am

LOL!! No Disco, but every now and then when he’s sitting down I pass by and rub the top of his head. Oh and I have called him Mr Clean! He said he had an earring but he let it close up for professional reasons!

disco

October 17th, 2013
10:51 am

I’ve always been open to Hispanic guys (primarily Puerto Rican, Cuban, Dominican). lately I have been noticing more guys of different cultures. I mentioned the Turkish guy I met. my initial thought was “dang, they making them like that in turkey?”. lol.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
10:54 am

Speaking of different nationalities, anyone seen Shahs of Sunset? There’s only one sane person on that show and he’s foine, foine, foine…gorgeous teeth and a beautiful smile. If I was younger I would find him, put him over my shoulder and take him back to my cave.

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
10:55 am

Moni – I’m definitely on team Black Love ;-)

disco

October 17th, 2013
10:57 am

I also met a nice looking guy from Honduras recently.

I’m on team black love but I am perfectly willing to switch teams. I ain’t no spring chicken and the roster ain’t hitting on much anyway. barring some new draft picks it might be a wrap. lol.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
10:59 am

Leggs – Them Shah’s are beautiful people.

Disco – The Turks are beautiful too.

Indians too, Hazel.

Beautiful people of all nationalities all over the world!

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
10:59 am

Hazel- I have to be honest and say I don’t know. I would think that I would have to be able to understand they guy to have conversation with him and get to know him.
I love Black men. However, at this point, I wouldn’t say that I would rule out non-Black men. There is just something about a Black man!

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
11:00 am

@Hazel it is. I am not back into shape yet but I am definitely on my way. It was really hard when your significant other is not supportive and in fact seems to want to sabotage you. It doesn’t work at all.

@Celisea I don’t eat checkers’ or church’s anyway. If he really wanted to sabotage me he should have brought home j and j fish or supreme fish. I love them! :lol:

And about nationalities/ethnicities/cultures I don’t think I have a preference per se. I’m open to all. I’m partial to non-Americans or those who speak English as a second language right now.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
11:01 am

@disco and @kimmie I went through a Turkish guy phase when I was in Germany. My daughter (foreign exchange) is Turkish!

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:05 am

j and j fish – they have the best lemonade known to mankind!

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:07 am

YSIC ~ how you going to feel when your daughter goes back? Will you have the emotions of a mom sending her child back to school or to her homeland?? I know you will miss her, but will you have some form of “withdrawal.” I was quite sad when mine went off to college for the first time.

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:12 am

kimmie – I think Indians have beautiful children. their sons don’t generally look so hot after they get older. there are some exceptions but in general they ain’t hitting on much (to me).

I remember when I was watching the movie Olympus has fallen I thought the asian guy in there (the bad guy – kang) was pretty nice looking. that’s another group that I’m generally not checking for.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
11:13 am

-Disco Was the Turkish guy looking that good??? Do tell, LOL!!!

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:13 am

Disco – I’ve always been on team Black, but like I said before, the decision to try something different is a personal one you have to come to on your own. I wasn’t meeting anyone I liked and was just about to stick a TOE in the non-Black pool before I met my hubs.

Hazel

October 17th, 2013
11:14 am

@Leggs- yah, he is. He looks Indian to me.
But I like my lemon head/light bulb head hubby the best. He is fynnne to me.
@MsAtl- never say never. u may never know ; )

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
11:15 am

-Kimmie So your hubs is on his Boris Kodjoe on? NICE!!! :-)

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:18 am

Disco – Yes!! That Asian bad guy was HOT!!! I normally don’t check for them either, but I have seen some nice ones. Years ago at another company there was a hottie Asian that worked in IT that I used to check out whenever he would roll thru. He had a nice build and a nice haircut, kinda edgy.

There was a Japanese lady I went to grad school with that was so cool. Her family was very wealthy and she was sharp as a tack every day! I loved to see what outfit she was going to rock.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:20 am

Moni – Not quite a pretty like Boris, more manly, but yeah he is HOT!!LOL!!

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:21 am

moni – boris kodjoe is so not fine to me. he’s not even cute. he’s nothing to me. tall. I give him tall. that’s it. lol.

moni – Turkish dude was all that. he’s filming a documentary on drinking in America. if he wasn’t married I would have volunteered to be a test subject. of course, later I thought of that movie 15 minutes but I let that go. lol.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
11:25 am

-Disco LOL at you and the Turkish dude. Well, he definitely has plenty of material for his documentary here in the good ole USA, LOL!!! Boris has always been FINE to me, him and Michael Ealy, but I know you don’t do funny color eyes!!! :-D

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:28 am

Hazel ~ he does look Indian. He’s so pretty (lol).

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
11:28 am

Hazel- I rarely say never. I have seen and admired men of other races, the opportunity just hasn’t presented itself, that’s all, at least not as a full grown up. I am not limiting myself.

abc

October 17th, 2013
11:30 am

If you filter people out by specifying to narrow a range of criteria, then for sure you will miss out on people that would have been of interest. Perhaps that’s too bad for you, but good for them.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:35 am

Boris is definitely pleasing to my eyes. I used to feel the same about Shemar Moore, but once I saw him dance, the attraction flew by the wayside.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:39 am

Leggs – I would classify Shemar as nice-looking, he’s just not my type at all.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:40 am

Just won Taste of Atlanta tix from B98.5 but had to give them back. I didn’t realize it was next weekend. Already have plans.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
11:41 am

Same here, kimmie.

Dang, why can’t I get through to win the $500 from B98.5? I don’t need to eat (lol).

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:44 am

moni – I do always say I like Michael ealy. I couldn’t date him but I do give him props.

moni – did you see the movie 15 minutes with robert deniro? two guys came to America from somewhere and called themselves filmmakers. they running around new york with a camcorder videotaping themselves killing people. yep. that thought right there (along with his wedding ring – lol) was enough to keep me from volunteering my services.

shemar moore is easy on the eye but he doesn’t do it for me either.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
11:44 am

Afternoon all,
Topic- I never had a pacific (j/k j/k) body type per se. I like and appreciate all the different shapes, sizes, etc etc about Women. I am and always will be attracted to brains. The only deal breaker off the top is a dumb chick. I love to converse so if I can’t be mentally stimulated then I’ll get the heyal on.

Button

October 17th, 2013
11:44 am

Most of my gfs are black and with all the problems they’ve had dating I’ve suggested they give dating outside their race a try, the first thing all of them said was NO I WILL NOT DATE A WHITE MAN!!! lol only thing, I wasn’t even eluding to a white man but other nonblack men.

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:49 am

button – well the thing is (and I don’t speak for all black women of course) we know black men are all that. to feel like we have no options other than to date outside the race almost feels like being forced to settle. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:50 am

Leggs – Did you listen to the Bert Show this morning? They were talking about this woman that posted this picture of herself in workout attire along with her 3 boys ages 3, 2 and 8 months. Her body looks amazing and the caption on the picture says “What’s your excuse?”

Now supposedly she’s getting all this backlash, saying she’s insensitive and a bully and a fat-basher, all kinds of stuff. Kristen on the show was whining and talking about how it was sooo mean and condescending and how now some men are going to expect their wives to look perfect like that after they have 3 babies, yada yada. Bert said he didn’t see what the big deal was and he found it inspiring.

I don’t see the issue either. What do you think?

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
11:52 am

kimmie – Sounds like a bunch of whinning and excuses. Those that are complaining are just secretly jealous that they do not have that kind of dedication. Since when did being proud of something you’ve accomplished turn into a platform of bullying or fat bashing???!! Folks need to get over themselves, like really and like RHET NOW.

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:53 am

kimmie – well I’ll tell you what I think. sensitive azz people need to get some business. fat people generally know they are fat and yet have the nerve to be upset if someone says so. respect the truth or change the truth. and chicks whining about baby fat need to understand there’s a window on claiming baby fat. how you talking about you carrying pregnancy weight when the baby is 12???

Button

October 17th, 2013
11:54 am

disco – well when you hear “there’s no good black men out here” then the reply is well try nonblack men lol

Kimmie – I read about that article yesterday. The mom is in good shape however, she admitted to be a recovering bulimic so to me she was always skinny/underweight.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:56 am

how you talking about you carrying pregnancy weight when the baby is 12??? :lol: :lol:

Slim/Disco – I agree!!! Good God, folks are getting more wussified by the day!!

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:56 am

I was in the doctor’s office one day and there were two pregnant chicks there. pregnant chick number 1 was super cute. she was teeny, tiny with just a belly. pregnant chick number two was great big all over. she was wearing a big muu muu gown (lol). her ankles, wrists, face were on swole. she was huge. I hated that she had to look across the room at the little skinny pregnant chick. life just isn’t fair. lol.

disco

October 17th, 2013
11:58 am

button – I get it. I do. like I said, though, it’s almost like a slap in the face to have to. it also feels like giving up. generally speaking, in this sense, black women are extremely loyal. a lot of black women I know who dated/married out of the race admit that it was essentially a last resort.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
11:59 am

Button – Folks just need to quite being so sensitive and expecting people to tip-toe around them and their wittle feelings! Make the best of what you got and if you don’t like it, do something about it, but don’t make everyone else around you miserable!

Button

October 17th, 2013
11:59 am

disco – pregnant chick #2 could have been battling edmna which is a serious condition.

Button

October 17th, 2013
12:00 pm

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
12:00 pm

Disco – It sure would have been a last resort for me had I gone there.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
12:01 pm

-Disco I didn’t see that movie, but from what you described I can easily understand your rationale.

-Leggs Shemar Moore doesn’t do it for me either.

“respect the truth or change the truth.”

That statement right there should be a billboard!!!

Button

October 17th, 2013
12:02 pm

Kimmie- some folks will always take it there. She had more positive comments than negative btw. Media will always focus on the negative to get a reaction/promote the story.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
12:02 pm

-Disco Muu Muu Gown, is that the same as the 1 piece housedress that grandma’s wear?

disco

October 17th, 2013
12:04 pm

button – even so. I’m sure she felt some kind of way looking at little skinny pregnant chick. it’s amazing how some folks are belly only and some folks are all over fat. they often are the ones that have little light weight babies too. go figure.

disco

October 17th, 2013
12:05 pm

moni – I guess. I don’t know what she had on. looked like she was wrapped in a tablecloth or something. lol.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
12:08 pm

Kimmie- I saw the poster. I think she looks good, but people have different body types and not everyone can look like her. Some women will always carry a little extra and some women can snap right back. My niece has 5 kids and is small. I was small after the first two and the third threw me into a whole different bracket, lol. I just try to be healthy.
I will never be back to my original weight; at my age 8 pounds 6 oz is sooo unrealistic!

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
12:08 pm

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
12:12 pm

Btw- I think if her poster was meant to encourage women, she could have approached it from a different angle. It could have been said better, more uplifting.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
12:15 pm

kimmie ~ I heard a little of it this morning, but saw the segment on GMA. I don’t get the backlash either. Any man who expects his wife to look like that after having 3 babies hopefully had a wife that started out with a banging body like hers. Even if she didn’t, no one should expect their wife to look like another. It’s like men telling us women there’s no prince charming coming for us on a white horse. Stop looking at women you don’t even know and expect miracles to happen in your home. She worked hard at getting her figure back and she did it with 3 young boys. If you were doing the same you wouldn’t be hating on her. Control your weight and stop complaining because others are doing just what you crave to do but are too lazy to do it.

BUNK THAT!

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
12:21 pm

“… It could have been said better, more uplifting.”

MsAtl ~ I looked at her saying it the way she did as trying to honestly motivate people. However, It took an ugly turn. I didn’t think she was flaunting anything just showing that you make your own excuses and you really don’t have to. Just come out and say I’d rather be fat and unhealthy than work out.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
12:21 pm

Button – Yeah, they were definitely playing up the negative.

MsAtl – That folks have differenty body types is something alot of people just don’t get, for whatever reason. I don’t care how much weight I lose, there will be a point where I look sick, not healthy and fit. And see, I’m a Biggest Loser and a Jillian Michaels fan, so I took her “what’s your excuse?” caption in that kinda “drill sergeant, get up off the couch and man up” way.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
12:26 pm

Exactly my stance, kimmie, drill sergeant, get up and get moving…NOW!

disco

October 17th, 2013
12:26 pm

leggs – yeah. what you said. lol.

I’m all for uplifting and all that still, folks act like someone owes them some uplifting. if the words you hear aren’t uplifting enough for you, listen to someone else. if the images you see aren’t uplifting enough, look at something else. I fall back on kimmie’s original statement about a bunch of wusses.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

October 17th, 2013
12:33 pm

@Kimmie

I had this discussion (about the ladies with the kids) with more than a few friends.

The lines were drawn thusly:

Everyone respected her grind (to be in that shape). While some thought is was “focus”…

Others, myself included, called shenanigans.

As anyone with young kids will tell you, they are a handful – little boys especially. They (all kids) get into stuff out of curiosity and need constand supervision from the moment they can move on their own. With three kids – boys at that – under three, there is.no.way. she gets the workout in necessary without help. Be it a nanny, a grandmother, a nieghbor, a relative, or somebody, she has help. Notice I didn’t say husband, because if she’s in the gym at all he’s got to be working.

Fact is, her post was misleading, dishonest, and done with malicious intent.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
12:34 pm

Leggs – People really do make all kinds of excuses when really 90% of the time it’s about choices and where you put your priorities. For example, a celebrity will have lost alot of weight and come out looking great and everyone is praising them. Then you will read on the blog folks complaining about how they would look good too if only they had the money to hire a personal trainer and nutritionist and cook and be able to buy organic food and etc. That may be true, but what are you doing about it in the meantime? Did anyone put a gun to your head and make you buy that Popeyes 4 piece 3 times a week and supersize your meal at McDonalds when you could have spent that same money on produce they have on sale at Publix or the 10 for 10 veggies they have at Kroger and prepared some healthy meals at home? Did you throw on your sneaks you’ve barely worn out the house and go for a walk down the street after dinner?

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
12:34 pm

Speaking of bulemia, did any of you all see the preview for the next Preachers of LA episode where that lady was obviously severely underweight?? OMG!

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
12:37 pm

misleading, dishonest, and done with malicious intent.

:shock:

If that’s the way you take it Dan. I agree, I’m sure she’s had help. But dang.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
12:39 pm

@Leggs I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. I was thinking the other day that for some reason it just seems like she belongs here. Like she’s always been here. I remember the day I picked her up from the airport. Since I work for an airline I went past security with a sign a made and some cookies and waited at the gate for her. It was like she was straight out the womb just so unknowing of what’s going on etc. Her english was so broken. Now she’s all “I told that girl at school mom…I was like”

…. and her friends have cars. It’s like she doesn’t need me anymore :(

more relevant to the topic, I just started dating black guys when I got to the states in 2004. So I’m definitely open to dating interracially.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
12:53 pm

-Slim I don’t have the Oxygen channel so I’m unable to watch Preachers of LA. However from the feedback that I’ve been hearing about the show, not sure if I would be a faithful viewer anyway.

Button

October 17th, 2013
12:55 pm

Kimmie – not popeyes 4 piece 4 times a week! lol

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
12:56 pm

Fact is, her post was misleading, dishonest, and done with malicious intent.

How do you know that’s “fact” Dan? I didn’t read the article, but unless she says that and you don’t live in that house, you can’t say anything is fact. I know 3 boys is a handful but she was already small so her body probably bounced back quickly. Not only that, she may have even used her children in her weight training regime. Hell, she could have used the 8 month old as a dumbell. They may all nap at the same time giving her a good 30 mins of workout done everyday! Unless you know for certain, you can’t say what’s fact.

Button

October 17th, 2013
12:56 pm

dag meant 3 times a week.

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
1:00 pm

12:34 ~ YES INDEED! I’m still small, but not as small as I used to be and please believe I’m paying attention. Stop watching yourself in the mirror grow and grow and grow and blame it on “aging” while you constantly suck down those french fries or Sonic burgers.

YSIC ~ ok, I gotcha…you in deed babe! That’s good. You’re certainly invested. Every child should be cared for.

Gotta go help out at a h.s. in the area.

Button

October 17th, 2013
1:00 pm

I don’t see how a photo can be uplifting, who are ppl around all day? When I look around me, I see more ppl in shape than not. I took nothing from her photo other than a mother with 3 kids showing off in a shorts and a bra top.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
1:01 pm

Button – 3 times or 4, yo butt still getting fat eating it all the time!LOL!!!

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
1:01 pm

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
1:02 pm

Button

October 17th, 2013
1:03 pm

3 boys ages 3, 2 and 8 months. what’s your excuse? some could take it as wanting to space their kids apart instead of having 3 kids within 3 years. There are so many ways to answer her question.

Single & Happy

October 17th, 2013
1:04 pm

Dan, I see women come in the gym all the time with their kids, that’s what the child care facility is there for. So it is possible for those that want to do it.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
1:05 pm

I just try to be healthy.

But u aint healthy?

@MsATL

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

October 17th, 2013
1:10 pm

@Leggs

I read the article…

The fact is that it wasn’t until the backlash started coming at her that she admitted her past with bulimia.

And her post was, in summary: ‘I do this all on my own, as a small business owner, with three kids.’

Then the backlash happened and “I’m a stay at home mom, I really only check on my businesses around noon. …”

NBF, but um…if you haven’t read the article, you don’t know what she said

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

October 17th, 2013
1:13 pm

@S & H

That would refute her statement of “doing it all on my own”

Somebody at sometime is watching those kids. More power to her for trusting them in a place with no fiduciary responsibility to her – or them.

Her kids get snatched, hurt, or otherwise harmed and she’s SOL with the gym…they have no liability. And, depending on the temperment of her kids and the others there, the chances of them getting hurt is in the 85 percent range.

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
1:14 pm

Moni – It’s definitely interesting to see how this show pans out and get a glimpse into their lives. I like Deitrick Hadden but he seems sort of high strung…short-tempered maybe.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
1:16 pm

but i dont see anything wrong with the article or the lady unless somebody else is being deceptively defensive about their own weight.

If u post a picture of urself on facebook or any other social media platform,some are gon love it,others hate because they think(whatever u were doing), u were flossing and others are indifferent.

People read subliminal messages thaat are not even there…

and fat people generally…u jes have to look around sometimes before u say anything because they always bounce words against themselves……..

instead of quiting the Mickydee qrter pounder and diet coke.! :lol:

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
1:21 pm

Ex – Agree. I’m just too indifferent to look that deep at it, I guess. I’m also realistic about myself/body and what I’m motivated to do about it.

Single & Happy

October 17th, 2013
1:22 pm

Her kids get snatched, hurt, or otherwise harmed and she’s SOL with the gym…they have no liability. And, depending on the temperment of her kids and the others there, the chances of them getting hurt is in the 85 percent range.

This would be the same at any daycare, people leave there kids at UNLICENSED daycare’s all the time because it’s cheap. but then try to cry foul when something happens. Things can happen anytime anywhere, so that’s just an excuse to keep someone from doing something.

And how would that refute her statement of doing it on her own? sounds like her meaning may be different than yours.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
1:24 pm

-Slim Yeah, the show is definitely very scripted to highlight “hot topics” to keep people watching.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
1:29 pm

I just read one of the articles about that lady on yahoo. I saw it briefly on the view yesterday and just thought to myself I need to kick it up a couple of notches while I can (since I’m unmarried without kids). Someone else at work was like she probably has a private chef, a nanny, a this and that. I was thinking I guess so. I didn’t take it in a negative way. I just saw it as her inspiring those who think they can’t.

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
1:30 pm

Note to self…YSIC is not ready for Durty she does not have enough experience with the brutha’s. Durty would turn her out….hehehehe!

MissMoni…This might not work, I am brownnnnnnnnnnn skin, I see you like the light skinned fellows…

I read the article the statement was for shock value.The mother of three husband is disabled plus she is workout guru and has been during fitness competition for years. Like many have stated if you do not like the truth then change the truth.

We are in a time period where in order to generate interest you need to make shocking statement. Not all woman are going to recover their former body type, but if you are not working at trying to change your body type, then this article should not offend you at all, because baby girl is putting in some work…

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
1:36 pm

Durty – Shock value, I agree!

If folks really want to be sensitive, what about The Biggest Loser, that title? I could get affended by the use of “big” and “loser”.

This is kinda right up there with awards for “participation” and games with no score being kept. Wussification of America, like Bert says!lol

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
1:41 pm

Offended, not affended!

First I’ve heard of the term “fat shaming” too.

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
1:51 pm

-Durty Don’t get it twisted, I’m not anti brown skin. :-)

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
1:52 pm

Kimmie funny you mention the Biggest Loser,when I first read this title I was thinking who would want to participate on a show called the Biggest Loser! Because we are accepting folks being just folks, it is surprising so many folks has spoken negatively about this woman…

How bout dem Bull Dawgs….

Man this is going to be a tough sports year, ladies I will need some pick me up soon and very soon…Who can I pencil in for this weekend? j/k not really,kinda sorta, well maybe not…Naw dammit I’m need some pick me loving…. hehehehehe! Unless,I hit 321 this week I will be good..Shout-out to Leggs the numbers guru…

Durty Burd

October 17th, 2013
1:55 pm

MissMoni…You talk such a good game I might have to visit North Carolina in 2014…Funny thing about NC, I was a finalist for a job in Charlotte at the beginning of 2013, but I was not ready to pull the trigger. North Caroline does not have enough professional sport’s Teams for me…

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
2:08 pm

-Durty Are you serious? NC has plenty of professional sports teams, take your pick:
NFL- Carolina Panthers
NBA- Charlotte Bobcats
NHL- Carolina Hurricanes
MLL (Major League Lacrosse)- Carolina Hounds
NASL (North American Soccer League)- Carolina Railhawks

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
2:12 pm

@Miss Moni….he(Durty) meant booty clubs?… :lol:

Miss Moni

October 17th, 2013
2:17 pm

-Ex Now that I would understand, LOL!!!

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
2:17 pm

For the chick that posted pics of herself……… Annnnnnnnnnnnnnn??? What’s the big deal?? Who’s getting rattled over something so petty??

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
2:28 pm

Cel – Just overly sensitive and jealous. It’s actually a cute poster of her & her kids. I’d rather that than some nasty pictures.

2CPTG©

October 17th, 2013
2:34 pm

hello, good people….

my taste in women?

2 t i ts and a heartbeat! j/k…..I usta prefer slim and petite, but now….shiiiiid, somma y’all medium to thick guls got it going on!!!! disco, I googled your measurements….gal, you can get it!

2CPTG©

October 17th, 2013
2:40 pm

yesterday Leggs gon tell me she’s a size 8…..gal, if you’sa size 8, I got some beach front property for sale in Marietta….for the low-low!!!

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
2:40 pm

Kimmie – I think she did it because “being fit” and spending all her dang time getting there is what life and living is all about. I don’t knock that, but for me, I’m all about doing better, improving, but danggit it’s just not the be all that ends all….not for me. I sort of feel sorry for folks that’s consumed with getting their frame together. Don’t get me wrong, walking, being active, yep all that, but when getting washboard abs is all you know, then have at, knock yourself out.

I saw a bit of it and she looks good, but the little remark or whatever was said to other ladies, naw babygirl, it’s just not that deep. Then for folks to be crying over it….all I can say is do you and I’ll do me….lololol

2CPTG©

October 17th, 2013
2:41 pm

matta fact, you couldn’t put two Leggs together to make a size 8….hush yo mouf!

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
2:48 pm

Exiled- I am not saying I am not healthy; I am pretty healthy. What I am saying is that I don’t subscribe to the idea that I have to meet a certain weight or BMI. I mean, let’s face it, the BMI scales are not made for Black women. I would look like a sickly bobble-head if I followed that scale. I will always be overweight according to the BMI scale, but no, I am not fat. That is why I don’t aim for weight or BMI, I aim for healthy.

Adam

October 17th, 2013
2:50 pm

Yikes, Mark it might be awhile then before you find somebody son. Fact, Beauty withers with age and the beautiful people (Yeah Marilyn Manson) are over rated anyway. It is all about whats on the inside, its a shame though, good and hearty people are a dying breed or at least that’s what it seems.

Sassy Me ;-)

October 17th, 2013
2:51 pm

Same sh.it still poppin’ I see…

2CPTG©

October 17th, 2013
2:52 pm

oh, and Slim……yes, sugar, you are definitely a sexy slim……guess that’s why I never signed them divorce papers; I just can’t see you with another dude…….

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
3:03 pm

YUP…aaaaaannnnnndddddddd????

Sassy Me ;-)

October 17th, 2013
3:07 pm

aaaaaannnnnndddddddd????

Still feel that hot ass air blowing all over the place,too…neeeexxxxt?!

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
3:13 pm

Chick/dude whatevs, pick a day, pick a topic and speak, for once…just once. We don’t a commentary from the peanut gallery on what you ain’t feeling, ESP when you ain’t contributing ya dang self. But, I understand, I do.

Oh, btw…..I’z scaaaared

Celisea

October 17th, 2013
3:15 pm

I’ve enjoyed the last couple of days of dialog…..til today. You got it, boo

Night!!!

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:15 pm

the BMI scales are not made for Black women

@MsAtl…this is an axcuse black fo use and say and it gets on my nerves…..check:

the crime stats are reported wrong,skewed up.. in the black hoods
the curriculum in the schools aint for black fo(hard)
the sat and act tests aint for black fo
the english aint fo black fo
the kid(dude) is acting white
the face cream aint for black fo
the sentence was too harsh bc our people(black fo) dont get good and fair judgements
the birf control pills aint wrking good for black fo(thats why so many single girl babies)

yada yada yada…

black fo..its time to act right,and quit with the excuses
…….

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
3:22 pm

Exiled – People of all descriptions make excuses for everything. But the BMI scales are really not made for anyone, white, black, red, yellow, green. I don’t know who they are made for. Quite unrealistic, don’t think they’ve caught up with how society has evolved.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:28 pm

Ex- honestly do you ever have anything non-negative to say about black folks? I mean almos in every instance or topic you take the benga tube stance on the small percentage of the black population. No blog fight but really what is your aim? If nothing else you are very consistent and when called on it you fall back.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:30 pm

Hate auto correct. WTH is benga tube??? Anyway dude you down black folks at every opportunity.

disco

October 17th, 2013
3:30 pm

well good afternoon. I see some men folk showed up.

single – I saw a chick on the news who left her kids at barnes and noble. dropped them off in the kiddie area and rolled out. you hear about people doing that at malls and stuff too. crazy.

ex – even my doctor agreed that the BMI scale was off. of course, she, as a black female, could be biased. lol.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
3:31 pm

@disco what?!?! I can’t imagine how they could think their kids would be safe like that…?

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:33 pm

Willie Dynamite….thats a generalisation that I am always negative.

I am negative when I think the excuse uses “blackness” to justify whateveer one’s stance…

I dont mind a so called “fight” if it is a fight on the ideas or facts or non there of.

Lets take the specifics and lets chew on them…

..u got time?

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:36 pm

even my doctor agreed

@Disco..ur white doctor or black doctor?

disco

October 17th, 2013
3:38 pm

yes – the misguided assumption is that they will be safe because they are with a care provider. the problem is that the storytime lady at BN is for customers who are still in the store. same with the mall. some have drop off services but the parents are supposed to stay in the mall. these folks actually leave the store. I guess to them, free babysitting is free babysitting.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:39 pm

I got time and its not a fight at all. If anything it’s a quest for understanding your pov.
Let me start by asking what behooves you to speak on the negative all the time? It can be 7 general comments about any topic, 2 jokes and 1 negative. Of all 10 comments you will expound endlessly on the 1 negative.

disco

October 17th, 2013
3:41 pm

ex – can you read or do you just start picking without reading? lol. don’t start today man. I think the general consensus is that folks are about exiled out. you have to give us some recovery time. lol.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
3:43 pm

Exiled- I respectfully disagree. Saying that the BMI scales is not made for Black women is not an excuse, nor do I ever use it as an excuse for anything. I am saying that is not my standard and like Kimmie said, it is unrealistic.
Disco- My doctor agreed and he is a slim Black male.

YesSheIsCute

October 17th, 2013
3:45 pm

@disco I just don’t get it. I’m one of those people, I don’t trust just anyone around my kids, man, woman, child, animal, plant. No, you couldn’t watch my kids if it was on the TV. I couldn’t imagine being lax about child care/babysitting.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:47 pm

ok, u just want a generalisation just to pick my brain…..on a scale of 10..i say stuff thats contra to elicit a response..the point itself may not be non virtual stance…
The blog used to be a place where the ladies wld come in and say,”co-sign” and that wld be one’s contribution for the day….

I hated it…so to rouse folks..i wld go left…

But I wld have studied law but for my dad…i like it when folks argue with me on their facts…just my trait…
But i have received a lot of hate that does not address the point i will have made….wish folks wld debunk without getting emotiional….i get it some take it very personal…

I dont

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:47 pm

Let me guess you will so eloquently discount what any black doctor says and god forbid if they are a woman.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:47 pm

my non virtual stance

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:49 pm

Not really but it wld have more credibiltiy with me because if they are asian or white, i wld think they are not just saying it to “appease” as it were because u are the same race.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:50 pm

Really man, that’s weak. A contrarian pov can be made intelligently without taking it to the gutter every time. If that is/was your states aim then you sir have earned an unanimous decision.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:51 pm

Disco..personally, i have never been told that by my doc though

SlimNu

October 17th, 2013
3:53 pm

2C – Thanks ;-)

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
3:57 pm

WD..so u mean any point made that is not in a black person’s favor or section there of is gutter…?

I dont think I have condemned black folks wholesale…I have condemned sections of black folks..

I dont think thats necessarily gutter…whats gutter in my view is to be wholesale anti-whatever or wholesale pro…

There is a lot of “pro anything black “among a section of black folks on this blog…

I just happen to be not one of them..

I was on a radio station one time in Atlanta and voiced my concern at an african country that had instituted policies that were anti white…
I received a lot of flak from blacksd espectially those from the caribean community…

I know the sentiments of some blacks in this country..very pro black..it dont phase me

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
3:57 pm

Ex- your turn

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
3:58 pm

Exiled- I have also had non-Black doctors say the same thing; however, my current doctor happens to be Black. If I thought my doctor was saying things just to appease me, it is time to find a new doctor. I need them to keep it real with me and that is what I like about my team of doctors. I don’t need them sugar coating anything while I am walking around with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel because I just want to hear that I am healthy…

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
4:00 pm

Exiled – I can tell you as one that comes from a health care background, and with the health issues facing the black community, no responsible black doctor is going to tell their patient something just to “appease” them.

You are extremely insulting.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
4:00 pm

I don’t recall you saying “some” in any discussion. Typically like today you paint a very broad picture. If that is your stated aim as you say then you have achieved your goal.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
4:01 pm

disco

October 17th, 2013
4:03 pm

atl – I remember trying to contain my eyeroll when a white female doctor was hinting about me exercising more and losing weight. mind you I’m running, doing yoga, hitting zumba class on the regular. I’m fairly active. I guess she needs me to look like I live off of special k and Yoplait. lol.

disco

October 17th, 2013
4:04 pm

willie willie he’s our man, if he can’t do it, no one can!!!!

our team is dynamite, our team is dynamite. lololol.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
4:07 pm

Typically like today you paint a very broad picture.

WD..today, we didnt even discuss so there was no discussion to what i said…

@Kimmie..why are u easily insulted?…these feigned emotions are laughable.

@MsAtl…i got u….u are blacvk and u put urt points across very well…

I hope some notice the difference…
I am not intimidated by feigned anger that seems to want to claim blackness only to oneself.
I am black!

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
4:07 pm

Leggs had to leave early, but asked me to post the EOD comments:

“When one door closes another one opens, but we regretfully keep looking at the closed door that we don’t even notice the new door is open…”

Have a great and safe evening everyone!

Be easy!!!

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
4:08 pm

Disco- Lol @ Special K and Yoplait diet. That was a nutritionist that gave me the BMI scale and said I needed to lose a certain number of pounds. My doctor said from where? Then said it was time for him to get a more up to date nutritionist. Right about now, I am aiming for 10 pounds and some toning up. I know I have work to do, I make no excuses. It is not baby weight; it is hot wings and cake. Either way, I still look good, lol.

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
4:08 pm

Disco- don’t get it twisted, you can be on the team but I don’t just hand out roster spots this ain’t no rest haven. Hahaha

DuShawn

October 17th, 2013
4:09 pm

Ex –“…….quit with the excuses” – Excuses are tools of the incompetent. One’s success or lack thereof, is contingent solely on their life decisions. However, it is undeniable that since this country’s inception, a conscious effort has been made to infect the psyche of people of color with a sense of innate inferiority. American media and general vernacular is filled with subliminal messages. White cake = Angel food, Dark cake = Devils food, heros wear white, villains wear black, Electrical connections: Black wire is always negative, sand is white and has a positive connotation, dirt is black and synonymous with soiled. The hidden insults are everywhere. The most blatant, in my opinion, the lowest denomination of U.S. currency is the penny. Why is that the only brown coin? Coincidence……I doubt it. These images, if not combated with knowledge of self, can have a detrimental effect on one’s self esteem and self confidence. I guess my point is each day I have to convince my children that they are equal to and in most case more gifted than their peers of various ethnicities. Whereas, Caucasians, Asians, and in some instances misguided Africans instinctively believe that they are superior. Most would not admit it, but they think it.

kimmie

October 17th, 2013
4:10 pm

Willie – Thank you hon. You tried. :)

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
4:11 pm

Ex- we good, brother. I now understand.

disco

October 17th, 2013
4:13 pm

kimmie – you see I tried to toss a little cheer in there. lol.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
4:13 pm

DuShawn- I like your 4:09. :)

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
4:16 pm

Du…thanx

I hate reverse racism…u cant condemn racism but seem to favor segreagated blackness.

I tell my kids the same, u can comptete with the Indians,whites,chinese etc not just black.

I live in with blacks…but i hate this constant “our” this our that…I live in a world with ALL races..I am open.

2CPTG©

October 17th, 2013
4:32 pm

Willie D….disco admitted yesterday to “offering” to buy movie tickets; so she’s very well capable of bringing in some bread…..”nah mean!”

Willie Dynamite

October 17th, 2013
4:37 pm

2can- exactly, exactly.

Button

October 17th, 2013
4:49 pm

Du – I like that! espthis part —- in some instances misguided Africans instinctively believe that they are superior. Most would not admit it, but they think it.

Sassy Me ;-)

October 17th, 2013
4:57 pm

Du…very nice post @ 4:09.

MsAtl

October 17th, 2013
5:00 pm

Okay All! On my way out. Have a good evening.

Exiled

October 17th, 2013
5:01 pm

I regard myself as better and superior to some whites even….

I aint got low self esteem.

@Button.

Good nite Yall

Single & Happy

October 17th, 2013
5:33 pm

I aint got low self esteem. ROFLMAO

Leggs

October 17th, 2013
5:38 pm

WillieD ~ you gave a gallant effort. I commend you. I expected the flip flopping and that’s exactly what I read. Good job!

2C ~ I definitely laughed at you saying I can’t put both my legs together to make an 8. HUSH!

Thank you, kimmie!