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Do you have to prove your love?

There are times when I think women try to test the men in their lives. Call it insecurity or manipulation, but every now and then women want to be assured that they are loved. In our minds, it takes something tangible or some grand gesture to prove that we truly matter.

Is it fair or rational? Uh NOPE. This does not stop us from doing crazy things and asking for way too much from our guys. My friend Vince said his girlfriend got really upset when he refused to get a tattoo of her on his arm. He has no tattoos and is not interested in getting one. Yet she somehow feels that his refusal to get one for her means he doesn’t love her as much as he claims to. Would you ever get a tattoo for someone if they asked you?

I admit that I have done some pretty stupid things to prove that I loved my guy. I don’t know if it was that whole “love is blind” thing or if I was just caught up. Sometimes when people know they have your heart, they take advantage, though. Has this ever happened to you?

Do you ever feel that you have to prove that you love someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

251 comments Add your comment

Lee

October 16th, 2013
7:20 am

No i would not get a tattoo of someone face or name on my body.

Yes people take advantage when they know you love them, yes it has happened to me.

The only way you should show your love is by your actions..its the small things that we do that show we are care.

Time to make the donuts.. hag1

Miss Moni

October 16th, 2013
7:36 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA! :-)

Would you ever get a tattoo for someone if they asked you? Absolutley NOT!!! Tattoos are forever, relationships not so much.

Proving love to someone is dependent on the person. Some people want you to jump through hoops to “prove” that you love them. If you continue to be with that type of person, then you already know what you’ve signed up for. At any point in a dating relationship you are entitled to say enough is enough and ain’t nobody got time for that!

When you know your worth you don’t waste your valuable time trying to get someone to do something for you. When a person loves you, you will know!!! :-)

Mrs. SexyCool

October 16th, 2013
7:42 am

See…now, I’m going to be quoting The Five Heartbeats all day. And that will lead to Coming to America quotes. Which will lead to The Color Purple quotes.

Oh and Vince’s girlfriend is on one. #FiftyShadesOfCrazy

Miss Moni

October 16th, 2013
8:01 am

Hey Mrs. Sexy Cool! I’m LOL at #FiftyShadesOfCrazy, but that is accurate assessment! If you start with the quotes I’m all in, I LOVE all of the movies that you mentioned! :-D

Button

October 16th, 2013
8:18 am

Would you ever get a tattoo for someone if they asked you? Nope

Never had a man take advantage of my heart or my love simply bc I didn’t go around thinking every man I dated was the one or someone I was head over heels in love with, most of them was pure lust or just for fun. I protect my heart to the fullest, you’ve got to really do the darn thing to capture it and when it’s captured watch out! I’m all in.

I’ve never felt that I had to prove my love. If I love him he knew it, if I liked him he knew it, if I really liked him knew it. He knew it by word and action. —-Guess what day it is!? Good morning!

Button

October 16th, 2013
8:22 am

Way to go Vince, tattoos make you look dirty. If she want him to tote her name around why not simply get a necklace or a bracelet with her name on in that way when/if the relationship fades she can have it back.

YesSheIsCute

October 16th, 2013
8:35 am

Good morning everyone!

I would not get a tattoo. I’m just now wrapping my head around this henna tattoo that my daughter and I are gonna get. Other than that no tattoos. Especially with anyone’s name on it.

As far as the proving love goes, a reassuring “I love you” and a hug and a kiss can go a long way. I grew up with a one woman homage to the exorcist emotionally challenged mother. So I’m over the whole emotional manipulation (prove your love/alliance to me). You cannot control other people’s feelings and NO ONE should have to go out of their way to prove their love to you. It’s proven by treating you with respect, love and care and with their presence every day. If that isn’t enough for you then find someone who can love you the way you need to be loved. The end.

SlimNu

October 16th, 2013
8:58 am

I will assume that Vince’s girlfriend is between the age of 16 and 23. Who the hell get’s upset at refusing to not get a tat of their SO’s face or name on their body??? Dayum skippy i’m not going to do something as dumb as that. (No offense to those that have done it)

Hazel

October 16th, 2013
9:01 am

no tattoos of names here, but yes to have done crazy things for love and felt taken advantage of cause of that.

SlimNu

October 16th, 2013
9:05 am

When you know your worth you don’t waste your valuable time trying to get someone to do something for you

Moni – Speaking of which, I was glad to hear Mc Lyte tell young ladies that if they want to be seen as Queens, then they need to start acting like it. She also told other male rappers to try uplifting them sometimes…not degrade us so much. ;-)

MsAtl

October 16th, 2013
9:12 am

Morning All!

Would you ever get a tattoo for someone if they asked you? No I would not!
Yes I have gone through the whole “prove you love me” phase. Not anymore. I show my love through my every day actions and if that is not enough for a man, then obviously I am not communicating my love in the way he feels he needs and maybe we are not meant to be. There will be no more jumping through flaming hoops with a rose in my teeth.
By the same token. I don’t expect a man to walk through fire to prove he loves me; that means nothing except that he was crazy enough to walk through fire. He can say it all day long, but if his actions are inconsistent, they tell me more than his words ever could. It is the day to day that matters more to me.

Mrs. SC- “I got to fight every night just to prove my love!” Lolol

Leggs

October 16th, 2013
9:17 am

First, Vince’s gf is unreasonable. I would never get a tattoo as a way of showing my love for my mate.

How I treat him and my actions should speak enough. If not, then I’m with the wrong person.

I don’t play games, I don’t test, I don’t set up situations to see how he will respond. Even in my younger days I didn’t do stuff like that. We are in this together working toward building something or we’re on the sidelines playing tiddly winks. No time for games.

Good morning.

2CPTG©

October 16th, 2013
9:18 am

Button

October 16th, 2013
9:28 am

I don’t like to be asked “do you love me” or how much do you love me? or if you love me you’ll do this or that. Stuff like that grates my nerveIf, if you have have to ask then the answer maybe no. I get it that there are many ways to express love, and I get it that some ppl have a hard time verbally saying I love you or only say it when they are in the heat of the moment but to have to ask that question doesn’t sit well with me.

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
10:08 am

I’m siding with Vince today. What his girl asked is unreasonable. To ask at all is silly, but she couldn’t come up with something less dramatic? Everybody in their right mind knows there’s the possibility of things one day ending. You got someone’s name tatted on you and y’all ain’t even together no more. How dumb is that?

My mama told me a loooong time ago that you’ll be confronted with “prove it”, of course that wasn’t as “love”, but more so about succumbing to pressure. Anyhoo, this whole scenario is just plain silly. She sounds like she’s still in hs…lol

I like love and I like “like” even better. “Like” is where it’s fun :) And believe it or not, I’m a “woman” to my core. I like touchy feely and being sweet on a person, but down to my core, yeen gotta tell me fifty times a day, yeen gotta send flowers and all that junk. Treat me right, don’t cheat on me, have my best interest at heart, be a man about yours, so forth and so on…that’s all the proof I need. :mrgreen:

disco

October 16th, 2013
10:08 am

good morning. “do you have to prove your love” – am I the only one who thought of the five heartbeats when reading this?

sexy c – I see your mind went where my mind went. lol.

slim – who gets upset? the idiot who went out and got someone’s name tattooed on them but then realized no one has done the same. lol.

disco

October 16th, 2013
10:12 am

I’m searching for spin. y’all know how I do. while asking/wanting/needing someone to prove their love isn’t a stunt I’d necessarily pull I do see how tangible proof is necessary. walking around talking about “I know he loves me” – “how do you know” – “ I just do”. well, that’s not good enough. ijs. lol.

disco

October 16th, 2013
10:16 am

leggs – did you finish the book?

Leggs

October 16th, 2013
10:28 am

No…haven’t even picked it up. It’s only Tuesday (lol). I’m gonna finish that damn book and give you a book report.

SlimNu

October 16th, 2013
10:30 am

disco

October 16th, 2013
10:33 am

leggs – Tuesday? stop playing. lol. no book report necessary. I just figured you needed some motivation. how long has it been? I think I’m going to re-read in chains to Louisiana right quick before the movie comes out.

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
10:34 am

Sometimes when people know they have your heart, they take advantage, though. Has this ever happened to you?

Yeah, the kid’s dad….early on. Dude took me through a lot of changes. None of the buy me this, that or the other…just a lot of changes. That’s why when the tables turned and I stopped giving a happy, there’s was nothing he could do with that. So yeah, I did whatever the heck I wanted to at that point..thinking of all the changes he took me through. And yes, I could have left, but I didn’t know that back then. I had an epiphany one day and bounced…lololol

MsAtl

October 16th, 2013
10:38 am

Leggs- Asked my sis and yes, it was a tiger’s eye in the ring.

Exiled

October 16th, 2013
10:40 am

Morning…but u ladies are funny….well,if i give u my spin and u call me a womans hater…ima just be a hip-hop producer then or rapper..at least i get some dough(i cant sing but so does Jeezy)..

here is the thing…u dont want to put his name on the tatt but aull wont date a dude nor even come to thinking bout that love thing unless he spends some cash…?

disco..i thought u were just going to disagree and be real with it…no romance without finance mantra….

Uall dont want a guy to “manipulate” u nor ur heart but u manipulate men and their money and hearts all the time,,….If he dont spend..he aint gon get none..I aint gon love him..blah blah blah…

U dont say what u practice Period!

..good morning…Then. :lol:

@SlimNu..’She also told other male rappers to try uplifting them sometimes”..this is pathetic ladies…u the same folks filling up the clubs,popping bottles dancing to the so-called degrading stuff..

smdh… “sometimes?”…

She shld say ALLL THE DAMN TIME!

disco

October 16th, 2013
10:49 am

ex – I probably use the B and H words more than the average rapper. I’m also quite fond of the words heffa and trick. I understand the rally behind getting rappers to pull back but I also understand that they are simply giving the people (some people) what they want. it’s business. it’s their livelihood. I ain’t mad at them.

MsAtl

October 16th, 2013
10:50 am

Ex- I would imagine that in any relationship both parties spend money on the other; there are also in-kind services (which would cost money). That, to me, has nothing to do with someone asking you to prove your love by tattooing their name on your body- 2 completely different things!

As to the male rapper issue- I am not one of them females twerking to some rap record in a club. I barely listen to it because there are only so many bit(hes, h0es & ni99as I want to hear.

SlimNu

October 16th, 2013
10:51 am

That ‘epiphany’ is something else, isn’t it! Usually hits ya like one of disco’s bricks upside the head. BAM!

Robert

October 16th, 2013
10:51 am

“Would you ever get a tattoo for someone if they asked you?”

Hell no…But I will buy you a “bumper sticker” for your car with my name on it – “Property of Robert”…lol

MsAtl

October 16th, 2013
10:52 am

Robert- Lol @ your bumper sticker. But, can it be one of those magnet types? That glue is kinda hard to get off.

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
10:54 am

I don’t mind being “wide open” and showing my vunerable side. Manipulated though, ain’t happening. I can hear birds chirping, children playing, but when we talk “manipulation”, I hear nothing but a screeching halt. That tips over into the games people play. It don’t take love potions, hypnosis, roots nor manipulation for getting folks how you like ‘em

Coochie ain’t free…just how it is or should be. No we can’t smash when I barely know you. No we can’t smash cause you grilled a burger. No we can’t smash cause you’re hawt. No no no!! lol You can’t get something for nothing. And no, coochie ain’t for sale, it’s just not free…lol You gotta pay to play and everyone knows two things…time and money. I good with what you say, as long as it’s matched to what you do. IJS

SlimNu

October 16th, 2013
10:54 am

Exiled – Women don’t stand a chance in your world huh? Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. And as far as “the same folks filling up the clubs,popping bottles dancing to the so-called degrading stuff”, some of those songs have nice beats and chicks aren’t listening to the words. Half the time, they aren’t talking about anything anyway. :lol: (said as Slim twerks her blog booty walking away) :oops:

Exiled

October 16th, 2013
11:00 am

here are also in-kind services (which would cost money)

MsAtl..but what u are going to do for him is conditional….on him treating u nice…u aint gon show him”love” unless he opens the wallet.

so whats wrong with a man asking u do some else for him thats nice….to him…like a lil tatt on ur arm,exposed…….,”I lubs me Exiled” :lol:

MsAtl

October 16th, 2013
11:02 am

Ex- And him opening his wallet is not conditional? Of course I am not going to do stuff for him if he is not treating me nice. You equate treating a woman nice to doling out money. There is more to it than that.

disco

October 16th, 2013
11:03 am

slim – right. I was “chair twerking” this morning on my drive in. the hip hop station was jamming. lol.

C – re coochie ain’t free. I giggle because years ago a friend said that (well she used the P word – lol) telling me about a situation with her dude. at the time I bust out laughing. around the same time another friend with her own situation said and I quote “I don’t mind effing BUT…”. I was too through. I said they need to get together and make some t-shirts.

Exiled

October 16th, 2013
11:03 am

Disco..u watched BET last nite..how u feel bout that scene whern them hoochies were rolling on the floor,leggs wide open and the rappers were singing and standing atop?

degrading much….

and uall call that “our own!”

Exiled

October 16th, 2013
11:08 am

some of those songs have nice beats and chicks aren’t listening to the words

@Slim..how about hitting them rappers where it hurts..boycottoing the clubs and music buying,if uall and McLytte are serious bout it..?

It will hurt rappers even more because they dont have money anyway,most of them…then they can conjure up better lyrics..or just find blue collar jobs…

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
11:08 am

MMeello – I did have a request for an tatt (not too much tooting is it?)….yep, dumb-bot, the kid’s dad. Of course that was years ago. He asked about putting his name on my inner thigh….no lie.

If you’re willing to pay, I’ll place “C lubs E” on my left shoulder :mrgreen:

disco – Yeah, they definitely need to make sell tshirts…lol

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
11:09 am

MMeello – Better yet….. “E lubs C”, there sounds much better j/k

Exiled

October 16th, 2013
11:11 am

Celisea..yea,that tatt thing is a dumb move for real…i have seen folks with tatts like that…….

Robert

October 16th, 2013
11:12 am

“women try to test the men in their lives”

All the time. In the morning when you wake-up, she wants to be reassured. Do you love me? Driving to and from work – Cell phone check-in. All women do it and you better answer your phone. At lunch time – Cell phone check-in. She wants to know what, where and who are you eating with? When you get off work and go to the Gym – Cell phone check-in. She wants to know where you are and who are you working out with? At home watching TV she wants to know what you are watching (sports, discovery, etc.)? If she does not like what you are watching she will take the remote control and change the channel to her “girly” shows (OWN/Oprah, etc.). There are other TV’s in the house (bedroom, etc.) she can watch, but she wants to see how much you love her. I guess I am a sucker because I always let her have the remote control and her way.

Durty Burd

October 16th, 2013
11:12 am

Good Morning!

I have already made up some removeable tattoo’s the kind you wet up and they come off. I have the follow paste on tattoos MissMoni,SlimNu,MsAtl and YSIC… I have to hedge my bets that I can snare one of them…hehehehehe!

SlimNuCTONE….What epiphany did you have? How was your weekend?

Celisea dude knew he had a winner so he pulled out all stops to keep that hot stuff…. :)

Rappers Delight its like a jungle sometimes it makes you wonder how you keep from going under…

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
11:15 am

Y’all have to excuse my grammar/typos…past, present and future mistakes. Sometimes my mind is running fast, sometimes I’m doing several things at once, sometimes an email or IM pops up while I’m blogging….

There….that should take care of all :)

Button

October 16th, 2013
11:17 am

Exiled – does your wife a your name tatted on her body?

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
11:18 am

Celisea dude knew he had a winner so he pulled out all stops to keep that hot stuff….

Nuh uh, he was just stupid. If I wrote all the dumb things he did and suggested, you’d change you stance…lol Nothing to do with hot stuff, trust

Durty Burd

October 16th, 2013
11:20 am

WD no more teasing! How are you going to mention you have done some crazy and do not list what the crazy was? C’mon Diva quit playin….

Celisea how about we skip the formalities and just give you some money for the coochie….hehehehehe! Dang-it coochie is free I know this man…once you turn it on she will give it up unconditionally..Start planning the days around getting it! Oh yes she will!

YesSheIsCute

October 16th, 2013
11:22 am

@Robert there are guys who do that check in as well. I never take the remote, he can have the TV because I don’t even watch TV anyway. Cable is just another bill for a workaholic like me. I just watch my sister’s netflix accout :D

Also, I hate the “wyd” text at various points of the day. Why? You about to take me somewhere or something? Ok then, don’t worry about what I’m doing.

Celisea

October 16th, 2013
11:22 am

Why, Durty? Huh? Why?

Leggs

October 16th, 2013
11:22 am

MsAtl ~ I figured as much. Tiger’s eye jewelry was very popular back then.

Umm, ummm, was just told about a new dance called “Red Nose.” Any of you fine folk red nosing? Good grief…boys on boys, girls on girls, girls on guys. I can’t imagine seeing this done at the clubs, but I don’t go to clubs where youngins are sexing on the dance floor.

Durty Burd

October 16th, 2013
11:23 am

Nope read the statement, I said your ex-dude pulled out all the stop because he knew (YOU Celisea) was a winner/Keeper/Resoureful/etc…That was my point….

kimmie

October 16th, 2013
11:23 am

Morning Gang!

Dang Diva, whose side are you on with this WOMEN test men thing? Sure they do, but so do MEN, geesh!! And yeah, I agree, Vince’s girl must be a youngster. I don’t see any grown azz women sweating a dude about a tatoo. How old is Vince by the way? If he’s young too, okay, but if he’s over 30 maybe he needs to look for a more mature-minded sophisticated woman. Otherwise, he gets what he gets by dating in the pool he’s chosen. Either way, don’t feel a bit sorry for him.

What else is happening, gang?