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Gut check: Are you conceited?

Everyone should have confidence. Some people take it way too far. You date long enough in this city and you will meet those conceited people. The ones who believe their own hype. They are their own marketing and brand manager; part of their own street team.

Many of us have friends that will keep us humble and grounded. Some of us are self-aware and can tone it down when we need to. How do you know when your conceitedness has become a turn off?

I think one symptom of extreme conceit is those people with a laundry list of requirements for people they want to date. This is especially hilarious and ironic when they don’t reflect the things on their must-have list. How can you be conceited and picky at the same time? It’s easy when you are oblivious!

Do you ever have to check your ego and put things in perspective and context when it comes to dating? Have you ever met someone who is a bit too conceited for your personal taste?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

258 comments Add your comment

Lee

October 15th, 2013
7:10 am

People are usually conceited about the wrong things. I don’t get impressed much. So you can be conceited all day and i will classify you as a fool.

We have to many days until Friday, may today go by a sonic speed to get it over with.
Hagd Everyone

Single and Happy

October 15th, 2013
7:29 am

Lee, if you start to enjoy everyday, they would go by faster!!

Do you ever have to check your ego and put things in perspective and context when it comes to dating? NO! (oops doesn’t that make me a little conceited) (LOL) Some people have told me I’m a bit conceited, but I’m not, I’m just always right!! (LOL)

Have you ever met someone who is a bit too conceited for your personal taste? all the time.

Button

October 15th, 2013
8:11 am

Are you conceited?Yes, I’m so guilty of being this way. I intalled a conceit monitor in my head and when it reaches it’s peak I deflate and start from ground zero.

Have you ever met someone who is a bit too conceited for your personal taste? all the time and when I do I say to myself “this person is so darn self worshipping.” and then I start disagreeing with everything he/she says just for fun.

Good morning!

Miss Moni

October 15th, 2013
8:22 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Yep, I’ve met people who are a bit too conceited for my personal taste. Here’s the thing, I’m totally ok with a person having HIGH self-esteem, however when you start to belittle others in an effort to make yourself appear to be so much more than you’re not, that’s when I have a problem. Do you, be you and don’t point out what everyone else doesn’t have that you do. Maturity level plays a big role in how a person handles their confidence.

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
8:25 am

Depends on how we define “conceited”, as we fall somewhere between folks’ perception and their reality. I don’t think so much materialistically when it comes to “conceit”, as much as I do when it comes to REEEALLLY believing your own hype, your own brand. You’re that dude (or chick) that BELIEVE you can sell your product EVERY…SINGLE….TIME. And when you can’t, “she bitter” would be your automatic response or reaction. When you ain’t never wrong nor can admit to every being on the bottom in any situation.

I’m certain I’m considered, heck I’ve been called (for the first time EVA) a narcissist, but only here. Folks that know me, know better though, so I don’t sweat that…lol I just don’t have it much for BS. That’s man BS, women BS, whatevs. It’s not conceit, it’s how I’m conditioned. Now, I can assure you, I bleed red blood, have had my heart broken, “ain’t all that” assure to more than a plenty, but that’s nothing to do with being confident in who I am.

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
8:26 am

“I can assure you to more than a plenty” is what I meant…..

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
8:29 am

And I say folks’ perception because I can guarantee someone somehere believes you should do and act how they see it and if/when you don’t then you’re too this and too that.

YesSheIsCute

October 15th, 2013
8:40 am

Good morning everyone! Dang it looks like I missed a really good topic yesterday :(

Do you ever have to check your ego and put things in perspective and context when it comes to dating?
Actually it’s the opposite, I get so nervous and shy thinking that I should avoid saying this wrong and doing that wrong sometimes I have to check myself and say wait, do I like him?!?! Often times I have to check myself and be like you have a laundry list of stuff to offer don’t believe his hype. I don’t think I’ve ever dated or dealt with a guy who thought he was better than me. If he did he never expressed it.

Button

October 15th, 2013
9:11 am

Some ppl like to toot their own horns, pat themselves on the back, I look at it as their personality it’s nothing that I would draw back from. I’ve met men who loved to pat themselves on the back for their achievements whether it be education, bank accout, homes they own,type of car they drive etc. It’s not a complete turn off but if they continue to brag endlessly about those things it can be.

2CPTG©

October 15th, 2013
9:13 am

g’morning…..

Am I conceited? a lil bit…..Am I cocky? somewhat…..do I give a damn? No…..l.

but them gals love me tho….

Exiled

October 15th, 2013
9:20 am

So…every chick that I ever approached and declined was conceited because she thought I was low on for standards?

Haven’t interpreted it that way.

They’re definately chicks that I thought were above my pay grade…maybe conceited,I don’t know.

Everybody has their wishes,lists etc. It ain’t all that serious really when you boil it down and strip off the hype,illusions and whatnot.

Think bout it.

Everybody eventually takes and dump and wipes!

There ain’t all that shyne and glitter they pretend to roll around in. :lol:

Good morning MIA!

MsAtl

October 15th, 2013
9:22 am

Morning All!

No, I am not conceited. And yes, I have met people who are way too conceited. There is nothing wrong with self-confidence; I like that, but when you cross the line into conceit, it is a turn off. I just had this discussion with a girlfriend yesterday- about folks who have a list of “requirements” for their potential partner and they don’t even meet half the stuff on their own list. Simmer down and relax! All I can think is Lyfe Jennings- Be the person you want to find. Don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime.

Exiled

October 15th, 2013
9:22 am

Takes a dump

Hazel

October 15th, 2013
9:23 am

Guilty. I got checked real quick, and I deserved it. It is good to have a healthy checklist, but keep it real.

Miss Moni

October 15th, 2013
9:26 am

“It is good to have a healthy checklist, but keep it real.”

EXACTLY!!! :-)

MsAtl

October 15th, 2013
9:28 am

Yes- It does look like we missed a good one yesterday.

Leggs

October 15th, 2013
9:32 am

Conceited I am not, confident I am.

Good morning.

Button

October 15th, 2013
9:42 am

I’d rather be with a concieted guy than being with a low self esteem/poor body image guy. Boasting about onself is far better on my ear than to hear I don’t, I can’t, I’ll never be, or they this, they that from a guy any given day. Thankfully my guy is not too concieted just a tiny bit but not that bad. He boast about his accomplishments and I give him props on all his achievements but in the mist of all of that he’s humble about it too.

SlimNu

October 15th, 2013
9:45 am

Morning, long time no blog…

No i’m not conceited by a long shot but folks have told me they thought I may have been just off looks alone. I’m not sure how one can look conceited but whatever…I don’t have a big ego and if anything I probably need to water and get more sunlight on my current ego so it can grow. lol

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
9:46 am

And really, for me and just IMO, if you can keep it real, who or whatever you are, conceited or not, I can appreciate that all day long over being phony. IJS

Exiled

October 15th, 2013
9:47 am

The gals in this camp are all good,no vice whatsoever.

Why aren’t most of them taken?

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
9:47 am

Lawd, I’m gone to get coffee….

Does it ever end???

Exiled

October 15th, 2013
9:50 am

What ur guy boast bout Button,what he done that makes him boast…..to you?

……need to cut him down to his proper size right now! :lol: :lol:

Exiled

October 15th, 2013
9:51 am

If he just boasts to get a lay then that’s all good….we all do that!

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:03 am

good morning. I am a lot of things but conceited is not one of them. I’m a tad bit shallow and a wee bit selfish and just a tiny bit vain but definitely not conceited. lol.

button – I don’t mind a person occasionally tooting their own horn but when you can’t hear anything else for all their toot-tooting, well that gets real old, real quick. I’m all for you being proud of yourself but it’s not always that real.

Single and Happy

October 15th, 2013
10:08 am

Naw disco, that doesn’t sound conceited at all (LOL)

Button

October 15th, 2013
10:09 am

disco – so shall I say that you are well balanced! sans being conceited? while being boasting about not being concieted? LOL j/k

disco – exactly!

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
10:10 am

I’m a tad bit shallow and a wee bit selfish and just a tiny bit vain

Okay, not to be the contrarian, but I think we need to define “conceit.”

con·ceit·ed
/kənˈsētid/ adjective
adjective: conceited
1. excessively proud of oneself; vain.

Single and Happy

October 15th, 2013
10:11 am

O/T I was looking at this about facebook, but it could fit her also :-) and almost fits in with the topic.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/annoying-facebook-behavior_b_4081038.html?ncid=txtlnkushpmg00000038&ir=Black+Voices

Leggs

October 15th, 2013
10:12 am

Celisea ~ no, it never ends!

Leggs

October 15th, 2013
10:17 am

“Why aren’t most of them taken?” – Simply put, we don’t want the ones who want to take us!!!

MsAtl

October 15th, 2013
10:19 am

Exiled- I don’t see any of us claiming we are perfect. Today’s question is are we conceited. To that, my answer is no. Sometimes a person is single (or not taken) by choice, by defect, or because the alternative was to be with a fool. Various reasons. Sometimes we are just in between. You want a cup of coffee this morning? I’m treating.

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
10:25 am

Leggs – I really think it’s silly at this point and intended to “rouse” the women or discussions. I’m guessing.

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:28 am

I don’t own conceited because I don’t think I’m the baddest, flyest chick ever. I don’t think I look better than everyone else or that everyone else is jealous of me. I don’t think the sun rises and sets just for me. in fact, I know based on a headshot alone I’m just alright and my personality may leave a bit to be desired. I get my bonus points by being bodied up. shallow alone does not make conceited, selfish alone does not make conceited, vain alone does not make conceited and all those attributes together don’t make conceited. therefore, I stand by my “I’m not conceited stance”. lol.

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:29 am

btw – my mother used to always say “I’m not conceited, I’m convinced”. lol.

2CPTG©

October 15th, 2013
10:29 am

I shoulda been a Kappa, I’m so pretty……

Leggs

October 15th, 2013
10:31 am

Yeah, I know, but wanted to address that dumb question.

2CPTG©

October 15th, 2013
10:31 am

although I’m just kidding with my posts….

but this is a question that should be posed to someone else…..of course noone is going to admit to being conceited…..but ask someone in that person’s circle….I’m sure the answers will differ.

Miss Moni

October 15th, 2013
10:31 am

“Simply put, we don’t want the ones who want to take us!!!”

-Leggs That right there is the TRUTH!!!

YesSheIsCute

October 15th, 2013
10:32 am

@Leggs I totally agree. It’s like like they are missing a chromosome, haven’t bathed since 1908 or missing both rows of teeth, etc. So I’d rather be alone if that’s the type of suitors I have.

Button

October 15th, 2013
10:32 am

disco – I get my bonus points by being bodied up. —do you weight train?

Miss Moni

October 15th, 2013
10:34 am

-Yes/Leggs Please add to that list: If they’re still living with their Mama OR don’t have a job!!!

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:35 am

2C – my baby bro will own that he is conceited. he’s been conceited since he could crawl his baby self in front of a mirror. he’s been stuck on him since he got here and is not ashamed to let folks know that he’s stuck on himself. in fact, maybe he should have been a kappa too. lol.

Leggs

October 15th, 2013
10:36 am

“I get my bonus points by being bodied up” – definitely better than being “bad bodied” as my friend would say (lol). Bad body is someone like Sherri Shepphard (according to my friend).

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:36 am

button – no ma’am. I just got them good genes. lol.

DuShawn

October 15th, 2013
10:38 am

I’m conceited in the presence of my lady all the time. I often tell her. “Girl….I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. I’m muffuggin DUSHAWN!! Recognize how the most high has shown you favor by bringing me into your life. When you married me, you hit the lotto. Every child you have from me is like another 401K. Drop to your knees in reverence and adoration of my mere presence.” Her reply is typically something like; “Boy… whateva, you need to get your old azz in there in do some dayum sit ups…..and clip them toe nails while you at it.” She’s gifted at keeping my ego in check.

disco

October 15th, 2013
10:39 am

leggs – I never paid attention to sheri shepard. is she shaped funny? I do think she’s easy enough on the eye though.

Button

October 15th, 2013
10:39 am

Yes – @10:32 dang, where are you on skid row? ija

disco – you go girl!

Celisea

October 15th, 2013
10:39 am

Meeee either…lol I’m definitely not the baddest, flyest, cutest chick. Nooo sirreee…lol This I already know. Again, we get into perceptions in this area. I agree with everything said, until…..

shallow alone does not make conceited, selfish alone does not make conceited, vain alone does not make conceited and all those attributes together don’t make conceited.

For the sake of discussion, IMO, either you’re conceited or not, own it or not. You can’t claim part or a portion of what it is to be conceited and not be. You can take a slice of the pie or the whole pie, never the less, it’s still the pie.

2CPTG©

October 15th, 2013
10:41 am

like lil Walter form Cadillac Records…..

“I ain’t got no business being this pretty no way!”