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Relationships: Do we really want someone freaky?

I think everyone desires to have a healthy sex life and consider it important in a relationship. I just wonder when so many claim that they don’t want a “boring” or vanilla partner, are they really sure about the amount of spice they can handle?

I ask because one of my guy friends used to say that a woman’s bedroom skills could make or break the relationship. Then just the other day, he told me that his new woman’s skills “scared” him a bit. Apparently, she did some things that caught him off guard. He refuses to go in to detail (Yes, I am that nosy and so I asked) but suffice it to say he is rethinking his old “woman in the street, freak in the sheets” mantra.

Clearly, as his friend, I ridiculed him relentlessly because this was a classic case of careful what you wish for! What would you do if you were in a relationship with someone who was “too spicy” for your particular taste?

Do you get on their level? Do you ask them to chill on the freaky stuff that make you uncomfortable?

I wonder if it is really about finding the right partner with the right amount of spice we can take? Should there be some kind of balance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

235 comments Add your comment

Button

October 14th, 2013
1:16 pm

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
1:20 pm

Like I said, the double standards really complicate things when you are good and grown!

Robert

October 14th, 2013
1:21 pm

@Celisea – “I was raised to believe that “waiting” and being a virgin at marriage is the right thing…I still believe that it’s the right.”

I had that conversation with my daughter when she was 16 yrs old. I wanted her to wait until she got married. Her mother told me how foolish I sounded and she was right. Her mother quoted Shakespere who said “it is better to love and be loved than not to have loved at all”. It hurt me dearly. I saw the wisdom in her words. Most young men have sex by the time they reach 16 yrs old. It is not fair to think a young woman will wait until they are married.

Button

October 14th, 2013
1:25 pm

Exiled – Men, a vjay can never been worn out bc it’s a MUSCLE! there is no such thing, some woman have weak muscle while others are good and strong and it has NOTHING to do with how many partners she’s had, if she’s had a baby then more than likely the muscle can become weak but it can be snapped back in place with ke gal excercise. just like you come in different shape and size so does a woman! so that statement is just plain crazy to say that a woman is worn out.

Robert

October 14th, 2013
1:27 pm

@kimmie – “If he can’t stomp with the big dogs, then stick to the tamer ladies and keep his judgements to himself.”

Can you “stomp with the BIG dogs”. I am looking for a few new “freaks” for the cold winter months. You can be Miss November…lol…

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
1:30 pm

Button..if u saying that to justify ur Muscle,go head! :lol:

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
1:31 pm

Robert – Gonna have to recruit elsewhere for your winter hybernation. I’m already stomping with my husband! :)

Button

October 14th, 2013
1:34 pm

Exiled – poor come back, try again!

Robert

October 14th, 2013
1:35 pm

@Leggs – “Do I want freaky? Yes, I do. Now, there are so many levels of freakdom so you just have to know what you’re down”

What level do you want?

1. Freaky-Lite – You want the old fashion way. Man on top,legs in the air.
2. Freaky-Medium – You want control. Woman on top, ride the horse.
3. Freaky-Hot – Man in control. Kiss-it,lick-it,eat-it, standup in-it

Durty Burd

October 14th, 2013
1:36 pm

Button you have some medical evidence the v-jay can be snapped back into shape? It can get a little tighter but not back to its original tightness..Did I just write that!

Exiled…Of course Celisea is a big judger of folks…Did I just typer judger…hehehehehe!

I will say this there are some really loose puddy out there that can handle a huge banana…Kegal is not working….lol

Dang it Leggs what did dude do to you?

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
1:36 pm

Robert – I don’t think you sounded foolish telling your daughter that. It’s the gold standard, just tough to stick to in this day and age. Parents have to come at it like, they would rather you waited, but if you must, please protect yourself. Not only physically but emotionally.

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
1:36 pm

Me personally,if it’s beat up,I ain’t I interested. :lol:

Robert

October 14th, 2013
1:40 pm

@disco – “being with a man that was freakier than I am or more adventurous than I am”

WOW!!!…You are in for a wonderful night filled with passion and desire. Any man would love that opportunity to explore your sexuality. You might be surprised just how un-inhibited you are with the right man.

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
1:40 pm

Robert ~ what’s freaky-lite about #1? That’s traditional sex.

Durty ~ I don’t remember. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Button

October 14th, 2013
1:42 pm

Durty – go visit your local gyno :lol: :lol: :lol:

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
1:46 pm

“Kegal is not working” – How you know they’re practicing it???

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
1:47 pm

Robert ~ you paid attention to the wrong part of her post (lol). She said that wouldn’t work for her…boy you are funny.

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
1:49 pm

You might be surprised just how un-inhibited you are with the right man.

Robert – Now this is true. Sometimes it just takes the right partner to bring out what’s already there!

Robert

October 14th, 2013
1:49 pm

@leggs – ” what’s freaky-lite about #1? That’s traditional sex.”

That is for people who have been dating for a while and married couples. It usually happens late at night and the woman is only interested in getting her “rocks” off before she falls asleep. Freaky-lite.

Button

October 14th, 2013
1:52 pm

Robert –That is for people who have been dating for a while and married couples.—really?? and you know this for sure?

Mrs. SexyCool

October 14th, 2013
1:54 pm

Level of Freaky is like any other component of a relationship. You must be equally yoked, on the same page of the same book, like-minded, have similar values and all those other words that mean you see things in the same light.

Durty Burd

October 14th, 2013
1:57 pm

Leggs..I thought you were speaking about the big one you gave it your all and then passed out…hehehehehe!

Button…That is exactly what I am doing…Mining the gym…

Kimmie…Robert – Now this is true. Sometimes it just takes the right partner to bring out what’s already there! Now you know you don’t know much about this? hehehehehe!

I would say this if I had a daughter, once she started talking about having a boyfriend on the birth control pill you go, although it would kill me to think that I know the reality is some little knucklehead is going to convince to have sex. So I would have to discuss protection with using condoms and pills….

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
1:58 pm

Robert – None of those “levels” you listed are what one would call freaky. They are just different forms of regular sex. I take freaky to mean acts out of the ordinary.

I guess it just goes to show, “freaky” is in the eye of the beholder.

Durty Burd

October 14th, 2013
1:59 pm

Look button…Robert is a master Freak expert…head his words or he might put out a top ten list on Le Button and her crazy blog comments…lol

Robert

October 14th, 2013
2:03 pm

@DuShawn – “I’m down for whateva……..just leave my anus alone.”

I thought they called you the “butt hole bandit” or “brown-eye baby”

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:04 pm

Button ~ I was thinking along the lines. It’s absolutely funny men telling a woman how her body works. It’s like a man telling me pantyhose has no purpose. HTH do you know??? Until you have a baby, men who aren’t doctors should not talk with certainty what a woman body can and cannot do.

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:07 pm

Durty ~ I was fully aware what was happening with the Big One! I had to keep my faculties under control so I could concentrate on riding that stallion.

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:09 pm

“Robert – None of those “levels” you listed are what one would call freaky. ”

Thank you, kimmie! Robert’s talking like we’re newbies…

Button

October 14th, 2013
2:12 pm

Durty – how the heck do you know Robert’ is a master freak? lol are you there taking pictures or making a video? directing? lol You say it as if you know for sure lol

kimmie

October 14th, 2013
2:12 pm

Durty – You gotta be realistic with kids. It’s possible to be practical and at the same time teach values and self-respect. The physical stuff is clinical and the easier part to tell them, the stuff they get in health class. The self-respect part is where alot of parents drop the ball and can really make the difference. You might be physically ready but are you emotionally ready to deal with all that goes along with being sexually active?

I do know what I’m talking about, about having the right partner. Sometimes you just need a little motivation. There have been times in the past I was an absolute dud with a man and I knew it. I just wasn’t motivated to put forth the effort. (Shrugs)

DuShawn

October 14th, 2013
2:18 pm

“We could be talking “2 girls 1 cup” here…….”That’s when Freaky just goes too far. Them girls are nasty, not good freaky nasty, but gross, in need of tetanus shot and some Monistat nasty. If you have not seen this…….……don’t.

Robert

October 14th, 2013
2:19 pm

@kimmie – “None of those “levels” you listed are what one would call freaky.”

I was trying to be nice and “water down” my explanations. Let me elaborate a little.

#2. Freaky-Medium – Freaky women want control. Most women have a monthly cycle that will increase their sexual desires and this is the best time to test their freakyness. If she is “horny” she will assume a dominate position (woman on top) and carefully insert as much as she can handle. I love to watch her reach her full climax. Bigger is better for “freaky medium” women who like to have sex with their man while sitting on top of his body.

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
2:19 pm

I had to keep my faculties under control so I could concentrate on riding that stallion.

@Leggs..did it feel roomier in the mouf….u didnt almost choke?..

i know some of yall got long deep moufs…. :lol:

disco

October 14th, 2013
2:22 pm

robert – all three of your freakies are just “regular”. lol.

durty – a huge banana is what we are using to compare? really??? no comment. smdh. lol.

robert – I’m not inhibited. trust.

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
2:25 pm

@Disco..depends on the banana type and originis.

altho durty used banana as a euphamism

Robert

October 14th, 2013
2:25 pm

@Buttons – “and you know this for sure?”

Hey Buttons…Please don’t shoot the messenger….I have friends who are married or in long term relationships and this is what they say. I guess we get use to one another and feel less compelled to ignite a blazing fire when all we need to do is light a match. As long as there is still fire, hoprfully there is love.

disco

October 14th, 2013
2:27 pm

ex – I get it. I’m just saying that the typical banana isn’t all that impressive. a large banana, while more impressive than the typical banana, still isn’t all that. lol.

robert – I’m thinking your freakometer and my freakometer are way off. you sound a little tame. lol.

Button

October 14th, 2013
2:27 pm

Robert – Most women have a monthly cycle that will increase their sexual desires and this is the best time to test their freakyness. If she is “horny” she will assume a dominate position (woman on top) and carefully insert as much as she can handle. —-WHILE SHE’S ON HER MONTHLY??? Y-U-C-K,gross.

disco

October 14th, 2013
2:31 pm

button – that’s not what I was reading in robert’s post. I think you may have misinterpreted. lol. i don’t think he meant the actual cycle so much as the heightened sense of arousal. (at least, that’s what I hope he meant).

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:32 pm

“2 girls 1 cup” – Never even heard of this until it was first mentioned on page oonr

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:34 pm

Ex ~ since you are so concerned about another oral skills, let me inform you that something that size I would never put in my mouth. I told you I tried to ride it best I could, and that was enough for me. Whether it was enuf for him wasn’t a concern of mine. You dig….

DuShawn

October 14th, 2013
2:34 pm

—-WHILE SHE’S ON HER MONTHLY??? Y-U-C-K,gross. Ain’t nothing wrong with a lil bloody Mary. Even Moses was praised for parting the red sea.

Button

October 14th, 2013
2:38 pm

disco – well what did you read from his post?

Robert

October 14th, 2013
2:38 pm

@disco – “all three of your freakies are just “regular”. lol.”

WOW!!!…I guess I am not a freak…

Ladies what do you prefer?

1. A man who is good at oral sex (kiss-it, lick-it, eat-it)?

OR

2. A man who is good at traditional sex -8-12 inches (standup in-it)?

Let’s see…

Button

October 14th, 2013
2:39 pm

Du – gross

disco

October 14th, 2013
2:42 pm

button – I already explained what I hope he meant in his post. by cycle he meant (or I read that he meant) that time when women tend to want it a little bit more.

robert – you might be a freak but probably not in the bedroom. what do you like on your pizza? what’s on your ipod? maybe your freak comes out in other areas. lol.

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
2:43 pm

let me inform you that something that size I would never put in my mouth.

@Leggs..so ur MO is to see it first before anything goes?

:lol:

Exiled

October 14th, 2013
2:45 pm

how many chics here are as timid as Leggs and demand to see it first before thinking of moufing it or not….??

:lol: ..thats a first…

Button

October 14th, 2013
2:46 pm

disco – If she is “horny” she will assume a dominate position (woman on top) and carefully INSERT as much as she can handle while she is on her MONTHLY = having schex while on your period, which for me is gross.

Leggs

October 14th, 2013
2:49 pm

I’m done with that subect, Ex. No matter what I say, you’ll twist it.