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Relationships: Be jealous!

I am friends with a married couple and they have an ongoing fight I keep getting dragged into. The wife, Linda swears she is not insecure or distrustful of her husband. She says he is a good man and she knows it but sometimes she gets jealous. She thinks it is a “healthy” amount of jealousy.

He says any jealousy is too much. If he has shown he is trustworthy, why does she get jealous when he hangs out with female co-workers at happy hour? Why does she need to always know who he is texting?

I literally run from this debate because I can see both sides of the argument. Linda says if she didn’t have any type of reaction to this sort of thing, he would think she didn’t mind..and she does. Shouldn’t she be honest with him about her jealous feelings?

When do you think being jealous is valid and warranted? Would it bother you if the person you were with never got jealous? Would you think they simply didn’t care about you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

221 comments Add your comment

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
1:39 pm

“… put colgate/etc on it before the candy wrap” – HUH? What, Why? Who does that?

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
1:48 pm

..today wld be a good day to put ur hand on ur chin,and jes listen..mouf shut!

That’s exactly what I was doing when I read that part (lol).

Durty ~ sure hope you haven’t tried any of it (lol) She’s the one trying it (lol).

Button

October 11th, 2013
1:50 pm

Button

October 11th, 2013
1:52 pm

Durty – you have to use your imagination @ likka :lol:

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
1:54 pm

Back from lunch

Durty – You are a sweetheart!

Exiled – :)

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
1:55 pm

toothpaste on your diznic…never heard of that one. Sure would improve the chances of an after head kiss though.

cba

October 11th, 2013
2:10 pm

Article in this month’s AARP, “Men who don’t cheat”
1. Many men are incredibly lazy
2. Some men are startling ugly
3. Lots of married men are cheap
4. Men fear getting caught
5. Affairs are time-consuming
6. Bores can’t get dates
7. Men have seen Fatal Attraction

Some stars listed are: Spike Lee, Dan Aykroyd, Kevin Bacon, Alan Alda, Jeff Bridges, TD Jake

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
2:11 pm

#2 had me laughing and #7

Celisea

October 11th, 2013
2:12 pm

7. Men have seen Fatal Attraction

Scared straight…will do it every time…ha ha ha ha

I see Freaky Friday done fizzled. Y’all tried :) Since we have the greenlight, I’z taking my lovely thighs home :mrgreen:

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:14 pm

Du/ladies..are there some etiquete requirements as far as head is concerned?…any ground rules other than showing up? any help wld be appreciated.

some dudes ofcourse have the belly test rule when they go down(thanx Swissie!)

Disco..u can chime in as well….what do ur patrons like?

Ladies if a dude aint stiff,but the lady(U) is all nakkeid and ready….and she(U) wants to give head.and get busy.do u consider that a diss…or u consider it a challenge and grab the diznick by the balls and get to work?
:lol:

Celisea

October 11th, 2013
2:15 pm

Du/ladies..are there some etiquete requirements as far as head is concerned?…any ground rules other than showing up? any help wld be appreciated.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Lawd help

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:18 pm

since ui saw that first…ur nugget of wisdom before u roll out!

thanks! :lol:

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:19 pm

2:18 @Celisea!

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
2:20 pm

Question: Do you consider this a bait & switch (asking the guys, women can consider it too)?

Suppose you meet a lady that’s cute in the face, thick in the waist, say she’s about 225. Personality and everything else on point and you fall for her and marry. A few years down the road, she loses weight, gets real cute and now her body is banging! She is still the same lady you married personality-wise, treats you the same, just more confident and happy with herself.

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:21 pm

ex – I have nothing to add.

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:23 pm

kimmie – I don’t think it’s a bait and switch. she may or may not have known she was going to lose the weight. she could have just as easily gained weight. the catch is whether or not dude is into smaller women and whether or not she gets brand new with the weight loss.

Willie Dynamite

October 11th, 2013
2:24 pm

Afternoon all,

WTH did I just walk into??
Guess y’all beat the topic up.

YesSheIsCute

October 11th, 2013
2:25 pm

I need that tmobile international plan. I’m international and whatsapp/skype can only do so much to keep me in touch with my people :D

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:26 pm

willie d – what did you walk into? a dinner party I think.

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:27 pm

just more confident and happy

@Kimmie…I have seen fat dudes with fat wives…..i look at it as like attracting like

i have seen slim dudes,not thick..with very heavy set wives/girls…i think the low self esteem women can bee engaging and offer the dude something he does not(or did not) get with a slimmer but cute chic..if she gets trim later on..these dudes get ansty about it

I think this is the same think with an educated dude who targets a chic that not as educated or with less money…..when she gets hers..houston we have a problem……
same thing when a less educated chic is attracted to an educated guy with more money……if she eventually gets her own money and education,how does she view the relationship….??

U can never know folks real motives..untill there is a bump in the road.

Celisea

October 11th, 2013
2:30 pm

Ummm,MMeello you already know I don’t get on here and dish my intimate personal stuff.

Durty Burd, before I go, boo….saying a woman has to get her cause you going for yours is a deal breaker. Sometimes yeah, but for the most part you shouldn’t beat your woman to the finish line EVERY SINGLE TIME. Learn stamina, bukaroo :)

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:30 pm

disco, im very dissappointed with ur lack of community participation to benefit the masses….

with all that experience u got??!

Reio

October 11th, 2013
2:33 pm

Kimmie – No. That’s not a bait and switch. A bait and switch would require the other one to adjust to a change in behavior or attitude. All she did was, apparently, loose weight, get a bit healthier, and start to feel better about herself, as a result. This sounds like a spouse that’s continuing to grow. Which should be pleasing to him.

Willie Dynamite

October 11th, 2013
2:33 pm

Disco- I logged on and read Ex’s 2:14. My bad

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:35 pm

ex – me? share? didn’t you get the memo? lol.

Willie Dynamite

October 11th, 2013
2:36 pm

Kimmie- that’s not bait n switch that is a come up. That is unless buddy got with her for the wrong reasons. If that’s the case it’s bout be a come up for her when/if she K.I.M

2CPTG©

October 11th, 2013
2:37 pm

any female Capricorns in here?

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:38 pm

what if old boy was a chubby chaser? it’s not fair for him to get with a chubby woman and end up with a skinny woman. lol.

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
2:38 pm

and whether or not she gets brand new with the weight loss.

Disco – LOL That’s why I said her personality didn’t change other than felling good about herself and confident, she’s still treating her man the same way.

I’ve seen alot of stories about this. The dude gets mad because even though she still loves him, she’s getting more attention than before. He was comfortable with her like she was. But if he’s just into big ladies, that’s different.

Exiled – Interesting. You are right, you never know.

I’ve seen cases where women did it for their health and always wanted to get slimmer and lead a healthier lifestyle, and dude gets mad cause now she’s “changed” even though he might be slim.

2CPTG©

October 11th, 2013
2:39 pm

kimmie…..although it’s all relative, but what do y’all (women) call “big”? some gals can be like 5′0″, 250 lbs, and they’ll be like, “I’m not fat, I’m thick.”……

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
2:40 pm

“…what do ur patrons like?” – Dang you make her sound like a madam in a brothel in the wild wild west.

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:40 pm

it’s not fair for him to get with a chubby woman and end up with a skinny woman

Disco….thats why every man gotta have a backup plan! :lol:

gotta… :lol:

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
2:42 pm

Kimmie : That’s not bait and switch. That’s just part of her evolution. The only thing constant is change.

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
2:46 pm

2C – Sometimes it depends on how the weight is distributed and the height. Chick 5′0″ 250 is in denial, she’s BIG no matter how it’s packed!

There was a couple I knew, wife was thick/boarderline big and a bit homely, hubs was BIG at least 300 easy, decent looking in the face. Hubs lost the weight and got downright fine and handsome! I mean the transformation was shocking! He had a whole new “swag” about himself too.

Not long after they divorced. :(

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
2:47 pm

disco, im very dissappointed……..with all that experience u got??! bet that’s not the first time she’s heard that.

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:48 pm

kimmie – even with that, the statement lends that she wasn’t confident or happy with herself before. like dude was a bottom feeder who (like ex said) picked up the fat, insecure chick. lol. people like what they like. I know I’ll dump someone because of significant weight gain and I can understand someone doing it because of significant weight loss. it’s shallow but I get it.

2C – you sometimes have to see big to determine it. you can have two chicks the same height and weight who carry that weight differently. one may be so called “big boned” or have big legs a big butt or big boobs. the other may just be generally all over big OR even worse, just have a big azz belly. lol.

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:50 pm

leggs – if that’s the path ex wants to take cuz I ain’t messing with no broke jokers then I’ll just have to tolerate a little dig here and there. it is what it is. I still say no shame in my game.

2CPTG©

October 11th, 2013
2:50 pm

which one are you?

Durty Burd

October 11th, 2013
2:54 pm

Celisea if it was me and you, I would be first all the time because I know how you like to come in first place in everything…U competitive.

Have a great weekend!

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
2:55 pm

2C – If you’re asking me, I’m a little thicker than I would like. I’m working on it, in fact my hubs is working on his weght too. Would not say either was fat though. I got junk in my trunk and he’s working on the abs. :)

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
2:55 pm

if that’s the path ex wants to take cuz I ain’t messing with no broke jokers…

Leggs…see the plural in her answer…broke jokers?…..I meant disco no diss :lol:

@Disco..i think u like monied dudes…..they may not be as educated or savvy(from what i gleen) but they ready to part with their money for sexx….and they fly u in! :lol: or u fly urself in…same difference to me.

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
2:57 pm

There was a case of this on Unfaithful. The wife lost alot of weight and got brand new. But dude had his insecurities too. She was almost like “oh so it’s okay for you to be all fine and hot, but not me?”LOL!

disco

October 11th, 2013
2:58 pm

ex – not being broke doesn’t necessarily mean one is “monied”. also, while i respect educated i’ll take hard working over educated any day IF i have to choose. there’s educated fools. there’s degreed folks that are just plain lazy. i could go on.

2CPTG©

October 11th, 2013
2:59 pm

kimmie got junk in the trunk???? gal, I’m telling you, somedays, if I didn’t have any morals, I’dda shot you my email addy…….

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
3:02 pm

i use “monied” to mean average joe money..pay ur own bills,own car,stay in ur own home..yada yada..not necessaruly rich…
and “hard working” is ur preference…..i get that….thats why i said “they may not be educated:….there is an allowance for error in my assessment…”may”…doesnt take away 100 of it

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
3:04 pm

have a good wkend..!

gotta watch this england world cup qualifier soccer game

Durty Burd

October 11th, 2013
3:06 pm

Kimmie that is happening all the time, quite a few folks are losing weight, I guess the major component is when couples are going thru changes can you honesty see it as a positive for that person and the relationship.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
3:10 pm

She wouldn’t have responded back, 2C (lol). Again, just messing with you.

Ex ~ not sure if you really expected someone to come on with some tidbits on how to do the darn thing (lol).

disco ~ of course. They only throw digs because they’re wishful and they wont to try to Tame the Shrew…not that you’re a shrew, just a figure of speech….Ok Leggs, sit the hell down!

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
3:16 pm

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
3:26 pm

is this thing on?