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Relationships: Be jealous!

I am friends with a married couple and they have an ongoing fight I keep getting dragged into. The wife, Linda swears she is not insecure or distrustful of her husband. She says he is a good man and she knows it but sometimes she gets jealous. She thinks it is a “healthy” amount of jealousy.

He says any jealousy is too much. If he has shown he is trustworthy, why does she get jealous when he hangs out with female co-workers at happy hour? Why does she need to always know who he is texting?

I literally run from this debate because I can see both sides of the argument. Linda says if she didn’t have any type of reaction to this sort of thing, he would think she didn’t mind..and she does. Shouldn’t she be honest with him about her jealous feelings?

When do you think being jealous is valid and warranted? Would it bother you if the person you were with never got jealous? Would you think they simply didn’t care about you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

221 comments Add your comment

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
11:42 am

Reio

October 11th, 2013
11:42 am

“reio – if it’s all pretty much the same, why did you marry the one you married?”

disco – re-read the post. The answer is there.

” Because those few minutes of pleasure could never stack up to the pure joy, peace and tranquility that I already enjoy. Something I could never get with another woman.”

disco

October 11th, 2013
11:44 am

so… you all may remember the time I mentioned the wife (who didn’t work) who went out and purchased a car for twice as much as her husband said she could spend. well, how come hubs went and emptied out their accounts. I can’t say I’m mad at him. old girl doesn’t respect that he works for the money. she acts like it magically appears.

ex – I guess you are right. I didn’t check the prices just assumed (probably correctly but what do I know) that tmobile will be far less expensive.

disco

October 11th, 2013
11:45 am

reio – thereby negating your statement that it’s all the same. lol.

okay. I’m sorry. I’m tripping today. I need for lunchtime to come so that the afternoon will come so that the end of the day will come. I’m ready to go.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
11:45 am

Damn disco, I didn’t mean to say all because that is impossible, but one should think and that was an easy one he could have avoided. He could have moved his car himself for starters knowing a decoy phone was in the glove box.

Button

October 11th, 2013
11:46 am

Reio – It only lasts for a few minutes.— a few minutes??? drive huh?

Reio – yeah what disco said.

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
11:52 am

Reio/Leggs – That’s definitely where my mindset is. Yeah there are a lot of physically attractive dudes out there, but none I would risk what I have with. Ain’t jack out there that tempts me in the least.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
11:53 am

Reio

October 11th, 2013
11:56 am

disco/Button – I’m not sure if I’m getting what you’re trying to convey.

I am referring to the physical aspect of relationships as being pretty much the same. Just my opinion. The difference is the “What next” question is answered by her in the form of her love, kindness, concern, generosity, sacrifice, compassion, trust……she has for me. Our physical relationship is great. Hell, the other physical relationships were good/great too(most of them). But, she, and only she, answers the “What next”. That’s the difference.

MsAtl

October 11th, 2013
11:56 am

Leggs- Now that’s some crazy mess!

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
11:56 am

MsAtl…(re_article)
my interpretation is she is getting “USED” for sexxual gratification!..he is just a “boyfriend”…if she goes on to marry this guy, when she already has reservations about it..then its her fault.

I dont necessarily find anything wrong with his act per see because I have heard that some folks get off by doing or engaging in some other weird stuff,to me….

the key is for like minded peopple to find each other…

mine dont get permanently stiff unless she enioys the candy and gets a taste of it pre–in the act ,interim and later on …..again again again……. :lol:

Button

October 11th, 2013
12:00 pm

Reio – my mind was somewhere is when you said it only lasts a few minutes. I said a few minutes??? never mind, my mind was in the gutter so to speak :shy:

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:00 pm

MsAtl ~ I would have a problem if he needed that music to literally pump him up. I couldn’t make love to you off that music. No way to block that noise out and be in the groove with you. He doesn’t sound like a very considerate boyfriend and she has do most of the swallowing in terms of adjusting to what HE wants from the relationship.

MsAtl

October 11th, 2013
12:00 pm

Exiled- You, Sir, are a nut! (your last paragraph).
I had to laugh at her saying his performance was not good unless he was listening to the death metal music. Run, girl, run! It’s just a matter of time before she feels his hands slip around her neck during the act, lol.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:02 pm

Ummm, sorry for using “swallowing.” The sharks are circling…

disco

October 11th, 2013
12:02 pm

reio – I get it just stating that’s not necessarily how I read the original post. not saying I didn’t get the original post. I got it. just being contrary. I have some Jamaican overproof at home. I’ll be right later. lol.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:03 pm

“It’s just a matter of time before she feels his hands slip around her neck during the act” – Good one, sounds like it’s next on the sexual “rush.”

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
12:04 pm

“Because those few minutes of pleasure could never stack up to the pure joy, peace and tranquility that I already enjoy. Something I could never get with another woman.” Man….that’s beautiful. My reason for not cheating is far less enlightened. I’m just too dayum lazy. Just think of the process. I got to meet her, convince her to give me some azz, get a room, but some condoms, take shower afterwards, can’t go home smelling like soap or sex, so you gotta figure that out, check in your girl and make up an excuse for your whereabouts, delete all texts and call logs, all for a few nutz. Why go thru all that when I got thighs waiting on me at the house.

Reio

October 11th, 2013
12:06 pm

Button – “Reio – It only lasts for a few minutes.— a few minutes??? drive huh?”

Well, the only reasons I say that is because I’m an honest man, and it’s true, for me.

Most of the time, then(single) and now(married), I’m trying to hold on until she is close, or about to burst, before I give in and let go myself. This tends to occur several minutes into the actual act. Show me a person, man or woman, that can last for hours, and I’ll show you a liar, or someone that was not aroused by their partner in the first place. Or someone that has a medical condition. Not talking about 4,5,6 minutes, but several minutes. Sometimes longer than others. But when it’s really good, it’s difficult to last. Just sayin.

MsAtl

October 11th, 2013
12:09 pm

I just heard my alter ego saying “can I at least get a good 15-20?” Lolol

DuShawn

October 11th, 2013
12:10 pm

@Leggs – Ummm, sorry for…. “swallowing”, now that’s what I call good table manners.

kimmie

October 11th, 2013
12:13 pm

Du – Good practical way to look at it too.

That’s another good reason why I don’t have the desire to stray. It’s too much work going thru the screening and dating process. If me & hubs broke up, I think I would just stay single. It’s too much work meeting and finding the right person to cultivate a relationship with.

That’s a big part of why I’ve never been one to have to keep tabs on a dude. I’m just too lazy. You gotta put too much energy in that. I’d rather put that energy toward something else. Or where it belongs – making my relationship better, not looking for dirt.

Reio

October 11th, 2013
12:13 pm

DuShawn – Great post. I understand. Lol!

disco

October 11th, 2013
12:13 pm

atl – alterego? my id, ego, alterego, superego, all of them were about to issue a press release. 6 minutes??? I ain’t smashing doug e. fresh. lol.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:13 pm

That’s what I call good bedroom manners.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:13 pm

Even if you’re not doing it in the bedroom!

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:14 pm

So I’ve been told….

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:14 pm

Ok folk, I’ve given myself my own laugh for the day.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:17 pm

“It’s too much work meeting and finding the right person to cultivate a relationship with.” I so agree, that’s why many go to the other side. J/K, J/K, kinda sorta.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:18 pm

Now, I seem to be talking to myself….

MsAtl

October 11th, 2013
12:20 pm

Now I’m singing 6 minutes, lol.

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
12:21 pm

“swallowing”, now that’s what I call good table manners.

:lol:

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
12:22 pm

Even if you’re not doing it in the bedroom!

even better…this shows care! :lol:

just because! :lol:

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:25 pm

I’, thinking should I eat a hotdog for lunch. It’s Friday and they have the jumbo ones in the cafe.

But I rarely eat hot dogs, so that would be a no. I need to get my funnybone adjusted.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:26 pm

I’m warped…

disco

October 11th, 2013
12:26 pm

atl – sorry. I know how a tune stuck in your head can do you. lol.

ex – dang and I thought I was doing good by not putting my elbows on the table. guess I have a lot to learn yet.

leggs – yes ma’am. you are tripping today. lol.

disco

October 11th, 2013
12:28 pm

leggs – I had a chili dog recently that hit the spot.

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
12:32 pm

Disco..problem with u is u are always in a rush to pound him and leave him sprawled in bed!

…u can’t learn that way.

:lol:

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:32 pm

It’s all that dang heavy metal music I was forced to listen too prevent webs from forming in places webs should be forming.

Leggs

October 11th, 2013
12:33 pm

shouldn’t be forming….

Durty Burd

October 11th, 2013
12:59 pm

U have to appreciate a woman who will do the do while listening to music she does not like…Run forest run…Heavy metal music is not music…

Reio… I am not waiting for anyone to get theirs its a race to the finish line and I am going to finish first…Now if she wants one too, time to go to work…hehehehehehe!

Button…..ummmmmmmm!
MsATL…15 to 20 minutes in one session that is a marathon! lol

Durty Burd

October 11th, 2013
1:03 pm

Kimmie if you and your husband break-up you will not be single for long the blog men will come knocking at your door as soon as the break-up is finalized…. hehehehehe!

Leggs…I think you are getting some, you are just playing it like you aren’t getting busy…

MsAtl

October 11th, 2013
1:04 pm

Durty- What the? That is NOT a marathon! I am taking a poll!

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
1:15 pm

Reio..what is ur email add?

mine is takpat78@gmail.com….

Button

October 11th, 2013
1:21 pm

Reio – I was speaking about the whole duration not just the inset part. A few minutes to me is a quickie.
for me it’s hours before coming up and that’s not just insetion but the whole process, fore during and after.

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
1:21 pm

Leggs…I think you are getting some, you are just playing it like you aren’t getting busy…

@Durty..I second that!

Leggs knows all the good moves a woman has to make..swallow just because,ride a monster, put colgate/etc on it before the candy wrap etc..how can she say all that and jes admire from afar..what kinda of self control is that?

no way,no how she aint geting none..i dont believe that….. :lol:

i think she jes a grown womenfolks dont tell type!

Button

October 11th, 2013
1:33 pm

put colgate on it? now I’ve head putting ice on it, whip cream on it, chocolate syrup on even some likka on it but never toothpaste. lol

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
1:35 pm

Button..ask Kimmie! :lol:

Exiled

October 11th, 2013
1:36 pm

i take blog freaky notes and their sources!
..today wld be a good day to put ur hand on ur chin,and jes listen..mouf shut!
:lol:

Durty Burd

October 11th, 2013
1:39 pm

Button…Don’t u mean u have put ice on it, licked off the whip cream and chocalate syrup and surped up the likka…hehehehehe

Never tried likka how did that work Button?