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Parents ruin marriage for you?

I had a date with a guy recently that was going pretty well. Somehow we got on the subject of family and he asked me if my parents ever married and if so, were they still married. I told him yes, they just celebrated 47 years of marriage! He told me that I should have a really great perspective on married life because of them.

Unfortunately, he did not have the same experience. He said that his Father never married his mother and could never commit to one woman. He wondered all the time if he was just like his Dad since he has not married yet. He also seemed to worry that his view on marriage would always be distorted. His mother married a couple of times but he never got to see a healthy marriage.

Do you believe that our parents impact our views on relationships and marriage? If you never got to grow up in a home with your parents together, how do you think that shapes your view about marriage?

What if you did grow up in a house with parents who were married but they were miserable?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

230 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:07 pm

ex I only said 401ks because that’s what you guys were talking about.

Reio

October 2nd, 2013
4:17 pm

I’ve seen a ton of people retire around my office. And in the beginning, just after retirement, we would see them coming around saying hi to everybody. But over time they all stop coming around, stop calling, stop showing their faces. Kids are gone, no job to go to, no co-workers to converse with, or talk shop with…. They seem lonely and unsure about their next move. I like what Bobby Bowden (Former Florida State head football coach) said when people used to ask him why he didn’t want to retire. He said “Well, I’ve thought about it. And it sounds good and inviting. But there’s a problem with retirement, and that is; After you retire, there’s only major event left.” Hehehe….

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
4:19 pm

what the hell you doing trying to invest at age how much do you need??

pretty much sums it up for me…..what else will I want, or need? “done, done it all, done, done it all…..”

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
4:24 pm

Reio….yep…..look at ‘ol Joe Paterno…..coached well into his 80’s….forced out, and then died within 6 months.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:25 pm

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:25 pm

there’s the flip side, some ppl want to retire but can’t bc of of health insurance. I had a colleague that wanted to retire but couldn’t for that very same reason, he moaned and groaned all day everyday, He finally left the company.

I can’t live my life based on a few names thrown here and there @their reitrement, I know I want to retire in 15 years so I can live that life! the work free life!

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:25 pm

Reio, that’s why a lot go back to work, just to have something to do, not to make ends meet. it’s even worse when their spouse isn’t there.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
4:26 pm

reio – I know a guy that when I ask him about retiring he hems and haws. I really think he goes to work so he doesn’t have to spend time with his wife. lol.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:27 pm

Joe Paterno – I thought he died bc of all that stress behind the rape allegation. maybe cancer.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
4:27 pm

button – I want to live the retired life now. it’s called finding a daggone husband who will let a sister stay home. where they hang out at? lol.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:27 pm

Button, are you living the life now that you would like to live when you retire?

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:28 pm

Button didn’t make any difference what he died from, it was still 6 months after being forced out.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:29 pm

2C..Joe died of guilty consciense

Had he lived he clda gon to jail

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:29 pm

Disco, could you really sit home everyday and just blog (LOL)

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
4:31 pm

Ex, I’mma have to disagree with you there, bruh…..I think he did his duty, and reported it to his superiors…what they did after that, is on them…..

disco

October 2nd, 2013
4:31 pm

single – I doubt I’d sit home all day everyday. thing is I could do what the heck I wanted to do every single day. eff with who I want to eff with. lol. I could go visit folks in other cities and take trips and not be sweating pto days. work is a means to an end but it’s really for the birds. lol. (said the daggone bird.)

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
4:33 pm

work is a means to an end but it’s really for the birds.

I swear it sounds like wer’re joined at the hip!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:33 pm

disco – LOL I know that’s right!

Single – I’m not living the work free life yet.

Exiled – sho nuff! he was the cover up man.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:36 pm

In fact,Joe Paterno was a pedophile!

Only one pedophile wld protect another

How could he live a str8 life knowing his assistant was a kid molester

Dude was in in that sh y y t.

He wld been getting beat in the pen right now

That stress and all killed him

Low life!

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
4:37 pm

Dern it, I had a post….. Been swamped today so I can only say this quick statement…

I don’t believe in being frivilous, but I don’t believe in being frugal. The whole purpose of working is to provide for yourself, the things needed to sustain. I still say, IMO (just mine), it’s foolish to lay up and store up for a tomorrow that may never come. I also believe it’s foolish to not be prepared. What I desire first and foremost is to be in my right mind and I pray I’m not incapacitated. If I have neither of those, what’s money to me?? So, I say live and live comfortably….live in the now. Buy the things you desire and need….so long as your money permits. I have a 401K, a savings, two pensions, and a couple of other vehicles I work through.

We have old folks that come to services twice a month from the “old folks home” and it’s such a sad sad state that most live in. Some have sufficient SS but their families go through. Some are dropped there and forsaken. Some are in dire need of life’s bare necessities and don’t have. They come in without shoes, no coats, sometimes they haven’t had a bath. We have a committee at church that try as much as they can to get those folks the things they need. And what’s worse, after the families either spends their money or don’t see about them, the staff take what’s left. My sister give a later a beautiful coat to wear one Sunday. That Monday it was on the back of one of the nurse’s chair. And yes, my sister confronted and took it back. So, I say all that to say it’s good to plan and be prepared, but it’s not wise to prepare for a tomorrow that may never come or a tomorrow you didn’t plan. I’d rather have my right mind and can manuever in my small aged way (Lord willing) than to have tons saved up and can’t do a thing with it or don’t live long enough to enjoy.

Everyone is different and have to do what they feel is the best thing, but for me and a couple of others, I’m living in the now, and having faith to believe that God’s gonna see me through. And if I remember HIM, he’ll remember me.

My mom has 7 children alive in which she raised and didn’t forsake. You think they come to see or see about her? Well, we do it. I manage her money and I try my best to put it where it’s needed….solely on her and her needs. Her physical, medical, so forth and so on and where there’s a shortfall, I take it out of my pocket.

So, I plan for tomorrow, but not to whoop it up. To live comfortably and be able to provide and maintain and be self sufficient.

Night!!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:37 pm

disco – that was for you 4:27…

I actually love working, I enjoy my job, what i don’t like is the drive in all that traffic to and from work. and asking for permission to take a day off.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:37 pm

Button, not work free life but are you doing things now, are you waiting until you get to the work free life to do them.

work is a means to an end but it’s really for the birds. which is why I don’t mind working because the ends come along all the time.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:39 pm

2C…naw bro,when an issue like that is reported to u,u are an adult. U don’t report to another adult.

U go str8 to the popo and even u report later to ur superiors and they don’t act,either u take the fall..,quit and u still report it.

His money was more valuable than that kid

This is common sense!

A break in is happening next to my house I don’t call another adult.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:41 pm

Statement made to me on returning to work after my last vacation. “Man I know you hated to come back to work after vacation, I know I do”. My response, it doesn’t bother me to come back to work because I’m looking forward to the next one! which is usually not that far away!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:43 pm

Single – surely there are things I can’t do now bc of working. Like living months in another country. Heck I only get 3 weeks a year vacation. Plus I’m really looking into being an expat if it’s willed, moving to a country where my money will stretch for years

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:44 pm

Cel says don’t and for tmrw and writes a long post to justify but she got:

2 pensions

1 401k
Saving
Cars(benzes)

House
….yea,look who is talking! :lol:

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:44 pm

Don’t plan too much for tmrw

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
4:46 pm

Mmeello….LOLOLOLOL

I take out what I need. I’m not afraid to spend. I don’t over do it, but I’m not afraid.

You silly….LOL

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
4:47 pm

Not out of my 401K….MY money

Button

October 2nd, 2013
4:49 pm