accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Parents ruin marriage for you?

I had a date with a guy recently that was going pretty well. Somehow we got on the subject of family and he asked me if my parents ever married and if so, were they still married. I told him yes, they just celebrated 47 years of marriage! He told me that I should have a really great perspective on married life because of them.

Unfortunately, he did not have the same experience. He said that his Father never married his mother and could never commit to one woman. He wondered all the time if he was just like his Dad since he has not married yet. He also seemed to worry that his view on marriage would always be distorted. His mother married a couple of times but he never got to see a healthy marriage.

Do you believe that our parents impact our views on relationships and marriage? If you never got to grow up in a home with your parents together, how do you think that shapes your view about marriage?

What if you did grow up in a house with parents who were married but they were miserable?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

230 comments Add your comment

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:01 pm

@MissMoni..I have never liked the blackberry

@Disco..iPhone is hip..it’s apple.

Ur friend wants to be hip ad well..no fronting there
And a girl can get uppity stuff even if she ain’t got it like that. That’s what boyfriends and chumps are for.

Dontcha agree? :lol: u know that Disco..

Maybe ur friend played a sucker! :lol:

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:02 pm

2C- “I could care less about being a millionaire in a wheelchair or a retirement home……shiiiid, I’m trynna live now!” Lol. I hear you. Live now and let Medicare pay your medical bills when you are old?

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
3:04 pm

sorry, but I could care less about being a millionaire in a wheelchair or a retirement home……shiiiid, I’m trynna live now!

I agree…sort of First off you don’t know if you’ll be living that long, thus it will go to your beneficiary. Secondly ain’t but so much whooping it up you can do past a certain age. Lastly, more than likely your caregiver or your kids or your relatives (if they get wind), will blow through it.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:05 pm

MissMoni..now,I ain’t that stupid to stand in line,odd hours in the cold to be first or to get so called deals..thnxgiving etc

One thing I’m not is Cheap and stupid! :lol:

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:06 pm

ex – I would be all for that if her daggone phone service was working. lol. oh. and this dingbat (she’s my girl and I love her) doesn’t have enough sense to get money. she’s the one letting a dude borrow money and then coming up short on her own rent the next week. she’s the one driving to the beach with a dude in her car but he ain’t even paying gas money. I mentioned we were supposed to go somewhere and she asked if we could go in my car. I blanked on her. you riding some dude around with your mouth closed but can ask to burn out my gas. kick rocks.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:13 pm

MsAtl…..kinda….because think about it….by retirement age, what is it, 65, most people’s homes should be paid off, and you’re probably not driving, so there would be no need for a car note; so all you’d have are your residual bills……and I’d like to think, throughout my working years I’d have contributed enough to SS that I’d have a nice lil check comin in…. so yeah, I could make it….

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:13 pm

Social security is gon broke

and a lot of folks are relying on it

2C..being old and broke and waking up to go to work or panhandling/working in publix bagging is miserable also.

Folks are not saving enough.

401k participation is less than 40% of the working population.

That’s why i was laughing at Buttons desire for a man with a 401k and an investment portfolio..

..unless one really digs for that gold! :lol:

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:15 pm

2C- I think the age went up to 67. I am trying to enjoy my life while I can. I can’t see myself ziplining 20 plus years from now- might break a hip or something, lol. I still want to live comfortably in later years but realistically could not do everything that I am physically able to do now.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:16 pm

3:13 2C..naw man,save that check :lol;

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:18 pm

Disco..ur friend is a real dingnat!

What city do u live in Disco..
U ain’t gon tell me.. :lol:

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:19 pm

Ex, I’m not saying don’t save anything, I’m just saying I’m not the one to live frugally now, just to enjoy a nice retirement later…….as Celie stated, it’s not a given that you’ll even get to retirement….as dude said in Love Jones…..”I want mine now”!!!!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:20 pm

2C- 65 is not old! lol

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:21 pm

ex – she ain’t the only one. I used to try to school her but now I just let her do her thang and shake my head. the other friend who dated the (homeless) guy who lived with his sister and eventually moved him in with her finally got smart and let him go. still, he had a nice, cushy free ride for more than a year. I hope I never get bit by the “man-dumb” bug.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:25 pm

no, 65 is not old…….but ye’en bout to sit here and tell me the fun you can have now is same fun you can have at 65! Hell, lord willing I make it to 65, I’m not trynna do nothing but sit down somewhere and chill…..

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:25 pm

2C- one has to be a fool to rely solely on SS to get by. Every retired person I know is living on SS and their retirement savings.

As far as will you die before retirement so no need to save is silly. That’s why we are so far behind.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:28 pm

2C- lol maybe you but if it’s willed I sure as heck won’t! Shoot my dad is 80 and still driving, working in his garden, very active. Stands up straight, no slouch back either. My auntie still struts her stuff in heels! The list goes on and on in my family on both sides.

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:29 pm

2C- At 65, while I may not see myself jumping out of an airplane, I’m also not ready for a rocking chair on the porch.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:29 pm

2C…personally I am oblivious to the existence of secial security…I don’t even check on it that much even tho I get annual statements.

It will be nice to add that lil sum sum to my monthly 401k stack when it comes.

I feel so rich..I can put it on Button right now if I show her my portfolio! :lol:

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:29 pm

Button….again, I’m not saying don’t save anything….I’m simply saying I don’t believe in living frugally just to have something for retirement…….and real talk, those folks struggling in their twilight years are prolly the ones who are, or were, living above their means in the first place…..

and No, I’m not relying solely on SS…I’m saying I could!

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:29 pm

button – you’d be surprised what a person can live on. especially a person who doesn’t have a life history of living “high off the hog”. lol. some folks can live good on $1000 a month while others would be suicidal at the prospect.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:31 pm

maybe there’s somethings going on in yalls lives as to why yall are so negative about growing old and savings. maybe yall popping pills everyday, high blood pressure, diabetes, some kind of illness.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
3:31 pm

-Ex Never been a Blackberry or Crackberry fan either, LOL!

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:31 pm

Next time I roll to ur city with my boys,I will let u know

I want all that low hanging fruit to entertain us for the weekend! :lol.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
3:31 pm

401ks are a for sure thing, don’t believe me ask the folks at Enron, and countless other companies that went under! And since it’s not insured, what you gone do??

2C you won’t be driving at 65?? dang man.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:31 pm

atl – I’m ready for a rocking chair on the porch now. shoot. with a side table and a pitcher of something. you wouldn’t be able to tell me nothing as I rocked and sipped in the cool breeze. lol.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
3:32 pm

I mean not a sure thing.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
3:32 pm

-Disco Speaking of being suidical due to money: Some of these folks on mandatory furlough because of the government shutdown are suspect. You can easily tell the ones who’ve experienced hard times before vs. the ones who’ve always had a silver spoon in their mouth.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:33 pm

Ex….let me let you in on a lil secret bruh……my house is paid for right now! I live rent free….property taxes once a year, and that’s it…..my residual bills are roughly around $500 per month…I can pay all of ‘em with one check! so yes, I’m saving, and also living! hell, if it weren’t for a car note, I could damn near pick up cans and pay my bills…..so again, yes, I could live off SS, and ball out!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:33 pm

disco – 1000 a month is NOT enough to live on unless you’re getting food stamps and other supplemental income to go a long with it.

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:34 pm

Button- I don’t have an issue with growing old and hopefully I will not be sickly when I do. I am just saying I want to live my life now as well as live comfortably later. I don’t think SS will allow anyone to live comfortably when we reach the age where we can even get it (if it still exists). Heck, If I could stock up food and money now for old age, I would (that’s a hell of an expiration date on that milk).

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:35 pm

button – folks are living on that and less. and not just folks collecting checks. some folks are working and that’s all they can bring home. trust.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:38 pm

Or that was for disco :lol:

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:39 pm

MsAtl- I as well, but I know to put money away for retirement as well. It’s not rocket science either. Our ppl is so far behind because of the thinking of live for the “now” mentality.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:40 pm

U real good 2C!

Mortgage is the biggest ticket item

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:40 pm

I don’t knock anyone for what they do with their money……you wanna be the fly gram’ma with a diamond studded cane, so be it……I’m gettin mine in now.

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:41 pm

Button- Oh definitely! I have a retirement fund. I don’t want to have to rely on anyone to take care of me when I get older.

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
3:42 pm

2C- Lol. You walk around with a diamond studded cane and you are not a pimp, expect to get robbed!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:42 pm

disco – I’m not blind to the fact that folks are living on less. I bet you a million dollars they don’t want to live that way. Unfortunately that’s how things are.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
3:45 pm

Single..

Ucan diversify ur 401k across investment companies as well…
U can invest in IRA with different companies not just investment classes,types or geographies

Nothing in life is guaranteed

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
3:50 pm

Ex, all 401ks are not the same, it depends on the company you work with.

Nothing in life is guaranteed seriously (LOL) had no Idea.

As for me I probably won’t retire until I’m 70 unless it’s for health reasons. no need of retiring if I can’t enjoy the same quality of life I’m enjoying now, not retiring to sit on the porch, and not waiting till I retire to do the things I want to do in life.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:52 pm

Nothing in life is guaranteed

nope.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:55 pm

once I polled some friends asking how satisfied they were in general with their lives on a scale of 1-10. the unemployed, broke, low income, do nothing types scored way higher than the better educated, more financially secure. i initially wondered if perhaps the “low end” folks are lying but then I accepted that they have accepted their lives. they cool it’s other folks looking down judging them who aren’t cool. you have a lot of the “goal oriented” folks always hustling and striving to get to that next level. worrying about this and worrying about that. dealing with the day in day out hustle and bustle and job related stresses. more money is more problems and more bills. just another perspective.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
3:55 pm

when I sit down to rest, it’s gon be well deserved……cause I’mma be done partied my ass off, that ain’t gon be no need to do anything else……

disco

October 2nd, 2013
3:56 pm

by that same token, I’ve also discovered that the “low end” females don’t have nearly as many issues with dating or finding folks to date as chicks on the other end of the spectrum. one recently said to me that she had 3 friends. an old head, a young buck and one her own age. lol. the reasoning for this though (imo) is that almost every man is a come up. lol.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
3:57 pm

There is one guarantee in life, just as sure as you live you’re gonna die!

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:57 pm

Not sure what retirement means for anyone else but for me retirement is not about retiring from live but from work.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
3:59 pm

disco – so where do you fit in the equation? your poll?

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
4:04 pm

Single..now u don’t have to put All ur money in your company 401k

You can open other accounts(IRA) or Roth IRA with other companies

Now..if ur 401k company fails then atleast u got some cover…with another company.

It can be done if the money is there to invest in the first place

The biggest problem for most is there is not enough to invest even in one 401k,let alone two or more other investment vehicles

disco

October 2nd, 2013
4:04 pm

button – that conversation was easily a year or more ago. who knows what I said on that particular day. lol. just stating what I recall the trend to be. like I say often, I know plenty of broke folks but they are most certainly not sitting around wallowing in misery and self pity. they are doing just fine. they don’t have much but they don’t need or desire much. I guess it all balances out. after all, one of the keys to happiness is being satisfied with what you have which they seem to be.

Single & Happy

October 2nd, 2013
4:04 pm

Button, so many retire, and because they haven’t done anything else but work, they don’t know what to do with their lives.

Disco, most of the time those that have always won’t more, that’s why it’s so easy for the Bernie Madoff’s in the world to take all their money. There was this 80 something man that lost his life savings 4 mil and had to go back to work bagging groceries, what the hell you doing trying to invest at age how much do you need??