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Parents ruin marriage for you?

I had a date with a guy recently that was going pretty well. Somehow we got on the subject of family and he asked me if my parents ever married and if so, were they still married. I told him yes, they just celebrated 47 years of marriage! He told me that I should have a really great perspective on married life because of them.

Unfortunately, he did not have the same experience. He said that his Father never married his mother and could never commit to one woman. He wondered all the time if he was just like his Dad since he has not married yet. He also seemed to worry that his view on marriage would always be distorted. His mother married a couple of times but he never got to see a healthy marriage.

Do you believe that our parents impact our views on relationships and marriage? If you never got to grow up in a home with your parents together, how do you think that shapes your view about marriage?

What if you did grow up in a house with parents who were married but they were miserable?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

230 comments Add your comment

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
12:46 pm

MsAtl, the dudes some of y’all referring to are the low level sack pushers…..of course who wants to be associated with those kind….but the real big boys of the game ain’t on the corner….the majority of ‘em are night club owners, strip club owners, or something of the sort….and if he’s really on top of it, he ain’t gon tell you!

YesSheIsCute

October 2nd, 2013
12:51 pm

@2C I cannot allow myself to be susceptible to negative energy/karma because he doesn’t have honest work. It sounds nice but it’s not that serious. I’ve been alone for awhile now…I’ve been doing it on my own since 18. I’m still here so I must be doing ok.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
12:56 pm

Cutie….what if you don’t know??? say you meet a nice, well dressed guy, and from all appearances he looks like he’s on the up and up…..has his own business, and all the trappings of a successful business man….how do you decipher?

disco

October 2nd, 2013
12:57 pm

2C – you setting it up ain’t you? lol. I always said I’d make a great mafia wife. lol.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
12:58 pm

2C – as for how you decipher – that’s a matter of game recognize game. one can be naïve and really not see it OR one can be in denial and pretend not to see it OR one can peep it and just play dumb about it and keep her mouth shut.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
1:00 pm

disco, all I’m saying is that if you don’t know, you don’t know……hell, I think Willie D mentioned it yesterday about the crooks in corp america…..you think they gon’ tell their wives they cheated the pension fnd outta x amount of dollars? You think Bernie Madoff’s wife knew about all of his shenanigans?

Button

October 2nd, 2013
1:04 pm

Mis Moni – close, but not six, actually 4.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
1:19 pm

Durty – I would not marry a man making less money than I do. I’m not all about money either. I’m about attaining weath, heck that’s one of the main reason to marry. Not only does he have to make more money but he has to be finanically invested in his retirement and have an investment portfolio to back it up. When I/we retire I don’t want us to struggle. Relying soley on SS, I want to enjoy my/our retirement in the comfort of a nice nest egg we both stacked.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
1:22 pm

-Button I gotcha, LOL! :-)

Button

October 2nd, 2013
1:41 pm

Miss Moni- plus all those bank fees does add up. Wasteful spending.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
1:45 pm

I’m tickled…I have a dress just like the weather lady on the weather channel. :lol: :lol:

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
1:55 pm

-Button It depends on who you’re banking with. I don’t have monthly bank fees at my bank. :-)

Button

October 2nd, 2013
2:02 pm

Miss Moni – Which bank is that? I do and I don’t like it, paying fees to bank even with credit union. Although it’s not a lot but every dollar adds up.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:03 pm

-Button It’s USAA Federal Savings Bank. I agree every dollar does add up.

YesSheIsCute

October 2nd, 2013
2:08 pm

2C I wouldn’t know to be honest. If he tells me he’s in construction though, I probably wouldn’t believe him :lol:

Reio

October 2nd, 2013
2:10 pm

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
2:11 pm

I’m about attaining weath, heck that’s one of the main reason to marry.

Button, this is interesting…..so, all things being equal, you find out his check is less than yours, all bets are off?

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:13 pm

alrighty then. ain’t nothing popping off up in this came today. anyone got any random topics for discussion. any crazy scenarios? anything you’ve been pondering? we can talk food/clothes/shopping/makeup. hell, I’ll even lurk while y’all talk football and reality tv. lol.

Reio

October 2nd, 2013
2:17 pm

disco – ” did you ever ask your mother what it is that she loved about your father? he can’t possibly have been all bad.”

No. Never did. Guess I never really gave a damn. I would imagine that during the dating phase, he displayed, what was more than likely, a keen sense of awareness, high intelligence, and vocabulary. Probably threw a few kind words her way. I suppose she was smitten and thought he was different from the rest. If that’s the case, she was wrong. Regretting her choice forever after.

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
2:19 pm

OMG, OMG, OMG….I MADE 100 on the assessment!!!

I was holding my breath when I hit submit… :)

Button

October 2nd, 2013
2:19 pm

2c – it’s called knowing who you marry. I wouldn’t marry a man based on his word about what he has and nor should he marry me based on that either. Have you ever been married?

Reio

October 2nd, 2013
2:19 pm

Even after his terminal diagnosis, some years ago, he was still the dirt bag we all knew him to be.

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:20 pm

reio – I had to ask. after all, you aren’t an only child. plus, I was brought up on “even a broken clock is right twice a day”. I just can’t imagine that he’s all bad. shrugs.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:20 pm

Alright Disco, what did you have for lunch?

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
2:21 pm

I need a drank now…lol

Reio – Still talking about pops, the D-bag?

Button

October 2nd, 2013
2:21 pm

disoo- lol you sound like my neice always wanting to go/do something but want someone else to do all the planning :lol:

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
2:21 pm

yes, Button, I have….and in hindsight, it was the dumbest move I could have ever made in my life……we dated (off and on) for 10 years, and stay married for one!!!

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:25 pm

Button..u got a man?

…it should be a lil harder for u to get a man based on your standards unless if u really fly on the outside…at least. :lol:

@disco..,yes,nothing is popping in here..

How bout u give us a run down of the hiccup u faced a couple of weeks ago when u went AWOL..so we can use it as a teachable moment? :lol:

..so much to decipher there.,

??

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:25 pm

moni – what did I have for lunch? an attitude because all of the no-job having people I was calling weren’t available. they know I be feeling some kind of way. like their life’s purpose is to be there to talk to me on my lunch hour. lol.

button – I just didn’t want to start monopolizing plus I wasn’t sure if anyone was here. in real life, I am the planner.

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
2:25 pm

Celisea- Congrats!

Reio- My son asked me what took me so long to leave his dad “because everyone knew he was an arrogant @$$.” His words, not mine.

Disco- NY & Co has suits on sale and you can pair a coupon. I picked up a plum suit for @ $55.00.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:28 pm

401k and an investment portfolio

gal u in another league.. :lol:

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:28 pm

ex – I met the prettiest little girl (young lady) from the congo region recently. I was about to go into matchmaker mode. my son dated a Sudanese girl that I thought was okay but this congo chick was beautiful.

atl – good looking out. I was just on their website last night putting stuff in my shopping cart (mostly yoga stuff). I’ll let it sit in the cart until the balance is enough to use a coupon. I’ll re-visit tonight.

Celisea

October 2nd, 2013
2:32 pm

MsAtl – Thanks, hon!! Somethings I’ve done in the past and having job knowledge was a BIG help….collateralization, etc etc etc

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:33 pm

-Disco You know I’m cracking up at your response to my lunch question. Now you’re gonna be extra cranky because you didn’t eat, LOL!

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:36 pm

moni – I ate but it was just something I packed. I was in a “run my mouth” kind of mood and those busters deprived me of my joy.

for instance, a friend of mine recently was going on and on and feeling quite proud of herself for getting the new iphone. meanwhile I’ve been trying to call her for days and can’t get her. apparently iphone and cricket customers don’t mix. ijs.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:37 pm

MsAtl…u a lil over 40?

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:39 pm

-Disco Now that’s FUNNY. So she has the new iphone but can’t talk to you on it. Personally, I’m not a fan of the iphone. I’m more of a Samsung Galaxy person, don’t see why I should pay all that money for an iphone when I can get another phone that does just as much & more for a lesser price.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:39 pm

Disco..maybe u can matchmake that Congolese girl with ur boy.

I am sure she needs the green card! :lol:

MsAtl

October 2nd, 2013
2:40 pm

Exiled- Yes, I am over 40.

Disco- the coupon codes are- 4483 for $30 off $100; 4482 for $20 off $75 & 4481 for $15 off $50.

Button

October 2nd, 2013
2:42 pm

what’s the hype with the iphones? I will rock my phone until the numbers fall off then I’ll go for the no contract phone. Save some $$. I may even go back to the flip phone. My nephew has an iphone and he’s having so much problems with it.

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:42 pm

MissMoni…if u can’t afford the IPhone just say so? :lol:

Why All that validation for the samsung if that is what u want.

I want an IPhone and that’s what I got.
No explanation nor diss to another phone to elevate the IPhone! :lol:

Exiled

October 2nd, 2013
2:43 pm

Meelo..’that girl is wearing a pretty dress’

MissMoni..’ yeah but her butt is too big!’

:lol:

Bluzgirl

October 2nd, 2013
2:45 pm

I LOVE my iPhone. I’m one who uses it for just about everything, though. Email, FB, internet, phone calls, texts, photos, games. It is worth the money to me because I use it up!

Reio

October 2nd, 2013
2:52 pm

I got a Blackberry for Father’s Day. Still don’t know how to use all the features on it though. It serves my purposes well.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:53 pm

-Ex Ha, ha, ha, in the end people get what they like. I was supporting my case as to why I prefer 1 phone over another, not validating just giving supporting evidence. :-D

disco

October 2nd, 2013
2:54 pm

ex – my thing is if you can afford apple then have apple. if you can’t then quit trying to front. my friend was feeling like she came up in the world and now she’s either neglected to pay her bill or has driven more than 10 miles away from home. lol.

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:54 pm

-Bluzgirl My phone does all that you mentioned. I just never got the fascination of the iphone. My daughter has one, however her father purchased it not me. Oh well, LOL!!!

Miss Moni

October 2nd, 2013
2:57 pm

-Disco/Ex AND why do people stand in line OVERNIGHT to get the newest iphone on the day it comes out??? Is it not the same phone if you order it online or pick it up in the store the next week? LOL!!! Yep, not a fan of standing in long lines, especially overnight.

2CPTG©

October 2nd, 2013
2:58 pm

disco….you asked what’s on folks’ mind…..here’s my thoughts….

saving for retirement (yes, this is partly based on Button’s comments)….I can see saving for a rainy day, and all that……but what’s the use of having money when you’re too old to have fun with the money? sorry, but I could care less about being a millionaire in a wheelchair or a retirement home……shiiiid, I’m trynna live now!

Bluzgirl

October 2nd, 2013
3:00 pm

Moni – I started out with the Blackberry, but got sucked into the iPhone eventually. If I had a chance when I switched to check out an Android, I may have gone with that. It was more of a matter of what I saw when I was ready to upgrade and now, it’s what I know! :-)