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Archive for October, 2013

Date someone with potential?

When you meet someone who you think is really great, would you be willing for them to get their life more stable? Perhaps they are in between jobs or recovering from a setback so they are not where you are exactly. Is dating someone potential naive or wise?

I ask because women can sometimes be accused of being too focused on someone’s success. Then if women date someone who is struggling, their judgment is question for dating “losers” or slackers. What is wrong with dating someone who has potential? If they seem to have ambition and plans to achieve their goals, can’t you be supportive?

What do you consider potential?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Ex-files: How do you handle backsliding?

Have you ever had an ex that you just can not seem to stay away from, even though you know you two shouldn’t be together? Do you figure out the reason that you always find your way back to them?

It’s really tricky when your ex has impeccable/awful timing and resurfaces in your life when you are at your most vulnerable. How do you handle backsliding to your ex? What do you do when you are tempted to go back to what is familiar?

Have you ever fell off the ex wagon and got back into a make up and break up routine that never seemed to end? How do you finally break it off for good?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

Continue reading Ex-files: How do you handle backsliding? »

What’s wrong with changing for love?

Actress Joy Bryant recently said in an interview that she would often dumb herself down in dating. She had become so accustomed to changing who she was to fit the relationship, she thought it was what people did to make love work. I wonder how many women do this, though? Do you think it is something you can keep up?

I don’t know what kind of person prefers their date to be dumb, but what is wrong with changing for love? What if there was a part of your personality that was problematic, would you learn to fix it?

Do you believe it is fair to expect someone to dim their light or be less awesome so their partner can feel better about being with them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

Continue reading What’s wrong with changing for love? »

Is dating too businesslike?

I was hanging out at my favorite place for cocktails and I struck up a conversation with a young guy. He was lamenting about his dating life and said he was growing tired of shelling out so much money to spend time with a woman. Of course, I asked him why does he spend money to spend time with women? Then he looked at me as if I had 3 heads and replied, “Because that is what dating is all about, two people entering into an agreement.” Umm, really.. how romantic??

I don’t if women require a cover charge to spend time with them,though. I mean, some women do but making a date feel like some kind of transaction isn’t the way to a solid relationship, in my opinion.

Honestly, I was impressed with the guy that asked me out to volunteer at a food bank. We didn’t spend any money and helped other people. It was literally a win-win date. Do you think there is a way to make dating feel less like some kind of business agreement?

Would you be open to the idea of a “penniless” date? …

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Dating: You won’t always connect

I think some people take it for granted that every time they go on a date, the person is going to connect with them and like them. Sometimes things just don’t spark and it is not anyone’s fault because “it is what it is” when it comes to attraction.

Of course, many of us have huge egos and the fact that someone doesn’t like us seems to just bug us so much. Why is that? Why do we believe that every time someone asks us out, it automatically means there is a love connection? I know some women feel as if they don’t even have to put much effort in because they were “asked” out or pursued first. Then they act shocked when they don’t get asked out for a second date.

When someone asks you out or you go on a date, do you expect them to like you so much that their initial attraction to you will automatically start sparking into something deeper?

How do you think we handle rejection in the form of no second dates or “sorry, not interested” responses start happening?

What did you …

Continue reading Dating: You won’t always connect »

Should plastic surgery be disclosed?

When my friend Amber saw old pictures of her boyfriend of 3 years, she was rather surprised to see his nose looked dramatically different. When she asked him about it, he told her he had surgery when he was younger. For some reason, the fact that he never told her this information bothered her.

Do you think that our current partners have a right to know about plastic surgery we had before we met them?

There are so many things about our pasts that should be shared, but what do we keep to ourselves? What should we be able to keep to ourselves?

Would you want to know if your date had some type of cosmetic surgery that significantly changed their appearance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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First date location: Choose wisely!

I know some people watch too much reality tv and expect those over the top, The Bachelor type dates. You know, the grand dates that set impossibly high dating expectations for anyone that thinks that is actual reality. Obviously, that kind of date activities are not typical. The location of the first date says a lot about you, though. You have to choose wisely!

I have had really sweet first dates at lovely places and I have also been subject to crazy places. When you go to pick a place, think of that person’s personality and yours. What is someplace you both can enjoy? What kind of activities allow you two to truly check each other out and get a glimpse of the real personality?

My friend’s first date last week was at a strip club. He figured she was down for whatever and could be open minded. She said he read her all the way wrong! Have you ever had a first date that was someplace outrageous or odd? What did you do?

If your date picked an awful place for your first …

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New is always better syndrome

The last battle a single person has to fight before settling down is combating the “new is always better” syndrome. For women, we tend to romanticize the idea of new romance, new love, new butterflies in the stomach. Once the novelty wears off, you get bored and want to chase that same high that comes from someone “new.”

I think the syndrome manifests differently in men. They want to return to the sexual buffet of single women they believe they can have. The idea of settling down with one sexual partner takes some men a lot of time to get used to. Some never get used to it. I think women grapple with this too, though.

Do you think the new is always better syndrome is easier to get over if you really fall in love? Once you meet “The One”, shouldn’t it feel natural to get over the urge to chase new and better?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Dating karma

My friend Carl is convinced all his bad karma is coming back to haunt him now that his daughter is a teenager. He feels that he is about to pay for all those romantic crimes he committed and never apologized. I know many of us can relate to this because we have all done some hurtful things to people in your dating past.

Do you ever think about all those hearts you broke or the people you rejected? Do you think that you made a lasting, negative impact on their lives?

I remember talking to an ex recently and he reminded me of how hurt he was when I ended things and he never truly got over it. Even after he married somebody else and started a family, he has not completely let go. I felt awful and really guilty! I wonder if it is worthwhile to go back and apologize for causing heartache?

Do you think reaching out and trying to make amends is ever a good idea? Do you ever feel bad for some of the things you did?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Need a pick up line for men?

I have had several women emailing me asking for advice on how they can increase their dating options. They are not used to approaching men or trying to pick a guy up. It’s definitely not for the faint at heart or timid! Some men don’t require a lot of words to get the hint that you are really feeling him. Then there are those guys that are annoyingly oblivious to flirting and damn near need a flashing green light sign.

So let’s ask the men: What is the best way to approach men? How can a woman turn your head and get your attention without coming across as desperate?

Ladies, when was the last time you picked a guy out, approached him, and gave him your best pick up line? What did you say?? How did it work?

Do you think single women should approach men more if they want to switch things up a bit?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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