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Cute or crazy?

I was watching a new daytime show, Bethenny the other day and she had a man panel to answer questions about dating and relationships. One topic that came up was how do men know when the woman they are seeing has cute, quirky characteristics or if she is just crazy?

One of the men stated that men are notorious for spending too much time with crazy women. Somehow they are drawn to their wild behavior even if all signs point to psycho chick ahead DANGER.

I have to admit that man of my seemingly smart and well-adjusted guy friends allow many unstable women to occupy their lives. They know she is unstable but they don’t distance themselves from her. Why IS that?

They often get on to me for loving the bad boy type, but they say it is perfectly fine for them to date “cray cray” because they are men. My friend Darren even said he can handle his crazy chick better than I could manage a bad boy.

Do you ever notice the behavior of your date and wonder if it is cute or crazy? What is the difference between someone who is eclectic and quirky and someone who may be mentally unstable?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

263 comments Add your comment

Lee

September 19th, 2013
7:15 am

Im a terrible judge of character. So i shall read later to find out…

Just a few more hours till friday…

Miss Moni

September 19th, 2013
8:21 am

GOOD Thursday Morning MIA!!!

Cute vs. Crazy. . . This should be interesting, LOL!!! My best guy friend has had his fair share of women who were off their rocker. Every single time when he would tell me about a situation & I warned him that she was going to show her crazy at a later date, it happened just as I said.

Maybe because I’ve seen crazy first hand OR because mental health is my field of expertise, I can spot a crazy person miles away!!!

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
8:52 am

Hello everyone.

I must say I have never dated crazy (LOL) now my friends will probably tell you different! You have to remember that when people tell a story, it’s only one side of the story. I have learned to try keep my relationship problems to myself, because it’s hard to fiend friends that aren’t going to give you negative advice. I have avoided crazy because I recognized they were crazy in the beginning.

SlimNu

September 19th, 2013
8:57 am

mental health is my field of expertise, I can spot a crazy person miles away

Moni – So your observation about me would deem what sort of diagnosis? :-P

Reio

September 19th, 2013
9:01 am

Morning all!

Well, I’ve heard a lot of women complain that, some men, when they feel defeated, or things don’t go their way, are quick to call women ‘crazy’. ‘Crazy’ seems to be the catchall term men use to describe some women, when the truth is, HE is the one that’s crazy, for not realizing that the woman he has is proud, competent, and decisive. Strong. So, once he realizes that he can’t really compete or measure up, his first inclination is to call her ‘crazy’. There are other circumstances in which the word ‘crazy’ is used when, in fact, the word ‘illogical’, would be more appropriate. If I get time and/or my posts will go thru today, I’ll elaborate more on ‘illogical’ behavior or words some women use to cause some men to deem them ‘crazy’.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

September 19th, 2013
9:03 am

One word: sex

Crazy chicks are great in bed!

Hazel

September 19th, 2013
9:08 am

good morning. Men do like crazy women. Now I don’t know if they marry them but they do like crazy women. I guess because they keep up on edge, the relationship seems pretty exciting.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

September 19th, 2013
9:11 am

*in and out of bed

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
9:16 am

Hazel, men that like crazy women marry crazy women!

SlimNu

September 19th, 2013
9:20 am

So crazy women have good P, and broke, no job having dudes have the good D!

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
9:21 am

“They know she is unstable but they don’t distance themselves from her. Why IS that?” – Although men say they don’t like “drama,” they in fact are intriqued by it, especially if the sex is slamming. The woman who makes scenes in public, act a fool, keys cars, throw rocks at houses seems to tell SOME men that this woman is really into him and wants him. It fuels their adrenalin. It’s only after sometime that the man finally grows tired and has to let the good sex/craziness go. Bad girls turn guys on.

Good morning!

MsAtl

September 19th, 2013
9:22 am

Morning All!

I had a friend tell me a few months ago, that he discovered his girlfriend was crazy and put her on the curb. I didn’t even ask how crazy because I agree that men are quick to label women crazy, which sometimes makes a woman act crazy, lol. Like telling someone to calm down.
I think if you watch, you can tell the difference between quirky and crazy. We have all seen someone and thought “now he (or she) is just batsh!t crazy! I would prefer to leave crazy alone; I don’t need that much excitement.

Reio

September 19th, 2013
9:36 am

I’ve not dated as much as most other men. I’ve had my share of dates, of course, and during my dating years, I’ve come across ‘crazy’ and what I chose to call ‘illogical’. ‘Crazy’ would be, in my opinion, actions/words that jeopardizes the health, or welfare and wellbeing of themselves or others.

disco

September 19th, 2013
9:37 am

good morning. let me tell it, we all crazy. might not be the same kind of crazy but we all got our crazy.

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
9:38 am

Cute or Crazy, huh? LOLOL Love the topic :)

I find nothing cute or attractive about bad boys. I’m pretty sure I use to…lol By that I mean, I’ve never been one to like duds…lol Don’t get me wrong, I’ve NEVER prescribed to abuse, mistreatment, so forth and so on, but I like a dude with a bit of edge. Too soft? TUUUURN OFF. Too easy? TUUUURN OFF.

Anyhoo, I’m sure, positve I’ve been called crazy….behind my back. I definitely don’t mind. There’s a line between crazy and letting a dude know you ain’t taking crap from him. And more often than not, those dudes that can’t back over you like a mack truck will deem you crazy, once they find out they tango’d with the right one.

So, for me that will be a resounding NO for crazy. My thing is, just make sure you rightly define the “cra cra.”

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
9:41 am

Investigation Discovery channel had “The Kray Twins” on. Interesting, ruthless brothers. That’s where “cray cray” comes from.

YesSheIsCute

September 19th, 2013
9:46 am

I think the term “crazy” is thrown around loosely with dealing with women. A man that isn’t emotionally available is quick to call a woman who is “crazy”, when that’s just incompatibility.

Like Reio said there are times when the word “crazy” is used out of context. Everything a woman does contrary in a situation doesn’t make her crazy. Now if she is doing things like stalking you, slashing tires, busting windows, or sending text messages to you or others you know regarding you, then that’s a good indication that she is indeed crazy.

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
9:49 am

Let me rephrase, not where “cray cray” comes from, but that’s who is referred to in some rap songs!

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
9:49 am

Leggs, I first heard cray cray on RHOA that’s what the lawyer lady called Kenya.

Yes, I missed you at the beach,

Disco, I’m not crazy my mother had me tested (LOL)

disco

September 19th, 2013
9:51 am

I’ve called girlfriends crazy for taking up with sorry, worthless type dudes. I’ve called chicks crazy for taking care of sorry, worthless adult children. I’ve called chicks crazy for putting their man first because it made him happy but they were miserable while pretending to be happy all in the name of love. crazy is not always about throwing bricks. sometimes throwing bricks makes perfect sense.

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
9:52 am

I think the term “crazy” is thrown around loosely with dealing with women.

Most definitely. I agree here. It’s become a “byword”, a crutch and an excuse and the fallback for some men.

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
9:54 am

A woman being put or taken through changes by a dude is crazy. A woman that won’t tolerate, is crazy. Danged if you do, danged if you don’t.

Honestly, in my experience and among my women friends, I sitting here trying to rethink and really, I can’t recall too many “man” kra kra experiences. A few bums, yeah…lol…bum being more than that dude that don’t wanna work….but not the kra kras.

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
9:54 am

Single ~ and she was on point!

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
9:58 am

Leggs, they’re all cray cray on that show, so had to consider the source.

disco

September 19th, 2013
9:58 am

then you have the “good” crazy. that person that’s just so much fun. everything they do or say is crazy because they are just wide open like that. you know if you kick it with them something interesting is bound to pop off.

Into the Light

September 19th, 2013
9:59 am

Morning, all.

I’ve seen my fair share of crazy men and women. For me, I’m too tired to deal with that mess. Save the drama for your mama, cause I will not deal with a grown man acting foolish.

Happy Friday Eve.

Into the Light

September 19th, 2013
10:00 am

lol@disco. I’m hearing Martin…. “you so craaaaazy!”

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
10:02 am

Yes, they are, but the twirler is bat isht crazy (lol). I’ve grown to like her.

Button

September 19th, 2013
10:04 am

Good morning!

Reio – co sign your first coment.

SlimNu/Dan- :lol: :lol: :lol:

I think when someone attaches the word “crazy” to relationships, they are not talking crazy as in mental illness but crazy as in doing weird, insane things….high sprung. Such as blowing up your phone, cyber stalking, always doing unannouce visits, snooping and any other things that are not normal.

MsAtl

September 19th, 2013
10:05 am

Disco- This one’s for you. from “a Very Smart Brother” column
I am a 33 year old woman that’s dating a 21 year old man and we have only known each other 11days and he is living with me. Yes he has a job but his 60 something year old Mama hates it. She was cool for the first 7 days then tripped out. She calls him tell him she will leave him alone and he has abandonment issues cuz she is really his Auntie. I’m confused do I really like him or am I d!ck whooped cuz he do have a monster give me some advice.
– See more at: http://madamenoire.com/303659/ask-smart-brotha-dck-whooped-monster/#sthash.llvkUeKH.dpuf

disco

September 19th, 2013
10:06 am

itl – I know plenty that are wide open crazy and they are some of the absolute most fun people ever. they are just no holds barred and you never know what you will get. I love a good laugh and crazy folks will keep you in stitches. lol.

atl – huh?????

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
10:06 am

Yea Leggs, but she fine (LOL) we’ll put up with fine-crazy (LOL)

SlimNu

September 19th, 2013
10:09 am

Single – I’d have to call Kenya crazy too. She seems to be a bit off…just my opinion of course

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
10:10 am

Slim, it’s entertainment, all for the show. if they didn’t act crazy, we wouldn’t be watching :-)

MsAtl

September 19th, 2013
10:11 am

Disco- In response to your 9:51. I can picture you calling this woman crazy, lol.

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
10:12 am

Awww, just found out Ken Norton died Wednesday. I enjoyed watching him fight.

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
10:13 am

MsAtl, you could picture a lot of us calling her crazy (LOL)

kimmie

September 19th, 2013
10:14 am

Morning All!!

I like Leggs 9:21. It’s pretty simple – these type chicks turn some, well alot, of guys on! I also agree with Reio and others when they say the term crazy is often used out of context. It’s a crutch many men use too. Either way, I don’t want to hear any complaints about someone you CHOOSE to be with simply being who they are, what they’ve shown you they are from day one. Whether it’s a dude dealing with a crazy chick or a woman dealing with a bad boy, you like it, I love it!

Disco – I like your defiinition of “good” crazy!

The term crazy is subjective too. Folks get labeled crazy by some just because they don’t go along with the norm around them. Or their look is not conservative. They are deemed crazy because they decided to step out of the box and get a green highlight streak in their hair. Some folks like to label creative people crazy. But clinically these people are perfectly sane, no mental issues. They just choose to march to the beat of a different drum.

YesSheIsCute

September 19th, 2013
10:15 am

@Button I agree with your post. But weird, high-strung things should be aptly called weird and/or high strung. Calling them crazy just confuses things because if the word is thrown around for everything then how do we know when that person that is being called crazy really is insane/sick or just weird/high strung?

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
10:15 am

MsAtl ~ everything in that post is crazy, stupid, and she’ll probably “get got” by the mother (lol).

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
10:15 am

Heeey, where’s my post??

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
10:17 am

I was just saying I’ve seen Kenya on a few re-run shows. I was thinking she was totally bonkers because I thought outside of her title she was making stuff up. You know, modeling, acting, etc…lol But, I see back in the day she was tryna do a lil sum’in sum’in

Celisea

September 19th, 2013
10:19 am

I saw her on an episode of Martin and thought, well shiver me timbers, there’s Kenya. I just saw her again recently on some syndicate show, but I can’t remember which show.

SlimNu

September 19th, 2013
10:20 am

Who would call themselves crazy? I’m not crazy, I just love hard :lol:

Bluzgirl

September 19th, 2013
10:21 am

disco – I was about to say the same thing you said. We are all crazy to some extent! It’s a matter of finding the person whose crazy is tolerable!

When The Ex called me crazy, I said “say it again and I’ll show you crazy”! Of course, that was when he did something terrible and I had a normal reaction to it!

I also agree that the term crazy is used way too much. He doesn’t like me…he must be crazy. He didn’t call me back…he must be crazy. He likes me too much…he must be crazy. LOL!

Leggs

September 19th, 2013
10:23 am

“…say it again and I’ll show you crazy”! – standing fixed in your spot with eyes bucked!

Single & Happy

September 19th, 2013
10:24 am

Slim one day I was talking about being around crazy people all the time, and was asked what was the common denominator, my response, everybody else is crazy but me (LOL)

SlimNu

September 19th, 2013
10:24 am

O/T: I finally caught a glimpse of Arsenio Hall’s show last night and i just wasn’t feeling it. Anyone else seen it yet?

disco

September 19th, 2013
10:24 am

I guess for me crazy is like country. it can be a compliment or an insult. sometimes when I say country I say it to cut, folks don’t take kindly to being called country. go figure. lol. I don’t really think crazy is as negative for me. crazy, to me, is almost just a figure of speech.

Exiled

September 19th, 2013
10:24 am

and broke, no job having dudes have the good D to satisfy a low self esteem woman!
@Slim
..good morning MIA