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When a man falls in love

I often wonder what men go through when they meet the one. It seems that while women going through all our intense and emotional feelings, men seem to have a different experience when they meet a woman. It is probably in stages and a lot more compartmentalized.

Of course, every man is different but how do men fall in love? What is the first thing that happens after the physical attraction?

Ladies, do you ever think that the way you fall for in love is that different then how he is falling for you?

How do you know when you are in love?

Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

146 comments Add your comment

Lee

September 16th, 2013
6:49 am

Define Love –everyone has a different definition..

Love is when we get old i will change your depends and make sure your bottom doesn’t get chafed. I will feed you when your hand becomes unsteady–i will not put you in that nursing home if i can help it.

The true test of love is not when everything goes great its when everything falls apart you find out who is really standing by your side.

Why must there be Mondays.. Lets skip it and go right to Friday

Miss Moni

September 16th, 2013
8:05 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! :-)

I agree with Lee, everyone has a DIFFERENT definition of what LOVE is. This would be why I’m an advocate for KNOWING your personal love language. The interesting thing is that there is no exact way to pinpoint exactly when you are in love. You realize it one day like you happen to notice the beautiful sunset. It’s always been there, but one day you really see it for what it is and appreciated it. I do know this, love stands the test of time. :-)

Exiled

September 16th, 2013
8:57 am

Love is when you have no problem kissing him early in the morning while his breadth stank,when’ve can fart loudly and pungently but it don’t unnerve you,when he can scratch the underside of his balls in your presence and you admire his very black pubs,when he comes home drunk and you happily wipe his puke from the floor and when you look at your mutually offsprings with a twinkle in your eye and silently and happily affirm,’just like their daddy!’

…..single chics….love is when the man gets the key to the crib without even asking for it!

when ur no job dude drives her to work,in her car and he takes the car with him,when he lives in her home,eats her food,pays no rent,sleeps on her bed..hunches her on her bed ..
That is Love!

Morning MIA.

Off topic:

The falcons need a better conditioning coach. They are only physically able for just two quarters!

SlimNu

September 16th, 2013
8:59 am

Good morning all,

Love is a double-edged sword, just try not to cut yourself too badly. :???:

MsAtl

September 16th, 2013
9:15 am

Morning All!

The consensus seems to be that everyone defines love differently; I agree. Love is both the quickening of the pulse when you see the person or hear their voice and also when you can just exist in the same room and are content with the quiet between you. You understand each other without speaking. You take them into consideration when making decisions.

Lee- “when we get old i will change your depends and make sure your bottom doesn’t get chafed. ” Lol. Classic- love it!

Button

September 16th, 2013
9:17 am

Good morning!

Ladies, do you ever think that the way you fall for in love is that different then how he is falling for you? I would think so, for me it’s always gradual. For me love blossoms over time. Although I’m attracted, the spark is there..the whole shabang….love takes time to set in. I’ve never had the love at first sight/instant.

I know I’m in love when I start really giving a darn. I mean I do care but, I really start caring and listening not just hearing what he has to say.

SlimNu

September 16th, 2013
9:35 am

I begin to fall in love once we both start to slowly let our guards down and get real with one another…when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and share the grit of who we are, and feel comfy that the other will not judge us.

2CPTG©

September 16th, 2013
9:35 am

g’morning……

yeah, what Ex said….

SlimNu

September 16th, 2013
9:38 am

Ex – The question is when MEN fall in love…your post was spoken from the perspective of the woman. So how did you know you were falling in love with Queen?

Button

September 16th, 2013
9:43 am

when a man falls in love he will TELL the WORLD!!!! he have no problem telling you ” I loooove you” and showing you too :)

Exiled

September 16th, 2013
9:43 am

Love…when u take off your deceiving wig before hunching him,revealing your receding hairline and not so pretty head!
…when u don’t mind scratching his butt with your cracked feet as you hunch.

…when you unleash your colorful speanish lexicon,unadulterated because his joystick eases you effortlessly into a transe!

:lol:

Button

September 16th, 2013
9:50 am

when u don’t mind scratching his butt with your cracked feet as you hunch.—-flatline——lol

Hazel

September 16th, 2013
10:00 am

I thought I knew when my man fell in love.. but after reading some of the comments.. I am out of words.

Leggs

September 16th, 2013
10:03 am

Good morning.

How do you know when you are in love? – When I don’t mind doing anything for that man, legally that is!

Hazel

September 16th, 2013
10:03 am

on topic- I only had one man fall in love with me.. ha ha. And well, we are married now. He would not let me go back home after I spent the weekend with him. He wanted to give me everything I wanted.. .till we got married. Now he is sooo comfortable . When I ask him what changed.. ” I got you now” .

disco

September 16th, 2013
10:05 am

good morning. oh boy. I can see we are about to have some fun with this one. yeah. according to some of these posts love really is subjective. lol.

lee – re your version of love. to me I equate it more with responsibility. sure love and responsibility can go hand and hand but they can also be separated. I would do certain things because I felt it was my responsibility to do them.

ex – love or no love, a man who doesn’t pay ALL OF THE BILLS does not get a key. period.

kimmie

September 16th, 2013
10:07 am

Morning All!

I can relate to what Lee & MsAtl said. Life can really throw you some curve balls and it doesn’t always wait until you grow older either. When you are willing to stand by this person thru thick & thin, that’s love. I knew when a man really started taking me into consideration when making decisions, he loved me.

I’ve seen all of this in action with men and women, so I’d like to think I know it when I see it.

Did errbody have a nice weekend? Mine was very nice.

kimmie

September 16th, 2013
10:12 am

Hey Disco!

I see what you are saying, but I see all the time folks not even caring enough to do the responsible thing. When the going got tough, they got going. It’s not even super drastic stuff like someone being unable to go to the bathroom on their own or becoming paralized. If everything is not all fun and light and breezy and the stars lined up perfectly, they have no use for you.

Button

September 16th, 2013
10:23 am

Hazel- why are you having doubts about your man falling in love with you based on others experience? Embrace your own experience and own it.

disco

September 16th, 2013
10:36 am

kimmie – and that’s why I say they tie in together but aren’t related. I love plenty of folks that I will never put myself in a position to be responsible. I love you but you are on your own. ijs.

kimmie – that very nice sounds like there’s a story behind it. lol. I had a “sick” computer and spent a good deal of time this weekend getting my itunes set back up. apple know they wrong for not letting folks reverse sync. lol.

Leggs

September 16th, 2013
10:39 am

kimmie ~ had a great weekend. Enjoyed Uncle Charlie, sold out Chastain. Went to Po-ke-No gathering and lost $5.75. Spent Saturday morning cooking a lot of food so my child can take back to school and freeze. That child best be glad she’s my only one (lol).

Glad you had a nice one too!

Exiled

September 16th, 2013
10:50 am

Enter your comments here

kimmie

September 16th, 2013
11:03 am

Leggs – I bet Uncle Charlie was good!!

Boy, I remember taking food from home to college. That was the best!

Disco – I agree, everyone I love I’m not going to be responsible for. But that’s a different kind of love too. Not “in love”, romantic-type love. I understand that people react differently to stressful situations, even if it’s someone they love. I need some type of sign from a man that he’s not going to up & run at the first sign of a little discomfort. It’s easy to hang around when things are all good. It’s no way he could tell me he loves me, yet not be able to stand the rain. He might be very nice, but not the one for me.

We went to my hub’s mini family reunion, a reunion of locals, at one of his brother’s house. We all live here but rarely all get together. The food was good and they even had a dj playing some really good old school. We had a nice time.

MsAtl

September 16th, 2013
11:08 am

Kimmie- “It’s no way he could tell me he loves me, yet not be able to stand the rain.”
I hear you. Love does not exist only when the conditions are right for you. If you are there when I’m up and you’re down, but gone when you’re up and I’m down, that is not love. You have each other’s back- good or bad…

Durty Burd

September 16th, 2013
11:14 am

Good Morning!

Men get excited as well, plus the inclusions in decisions is major for both parties. Now the love/responsibility takes your love to another level, I do believe you have to deeply love this person to have fulfill great responsibility when it comes to caring.

I loved my grandfather so as a teenager I spent a whole lot of time keeping him company, feeding him, and bathing him.

Hazel….Do you and your husband have kids?

I simply adore MsATL…intelligence with a heart of gold! :)

disco

September 16th, 2013
11:16 am

atl – your post made me think of the phrase “unconditional love” and how love often is contingent upon a few things. lol.

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:16 am

IMO love is love is love. No varying degrees, not “different for you than me or he or she.” It’s universal and does and react the same way in or for one, as it does in or for others.

I guess I don’t get “love is how one perceives??” Your perception may not be love. Love is love is love. What’s working in every couple, causing the same to be accomplished, keeping the vows, honoring what they promised, building a life together, etc etc etc, is love. And I’m sure if we polled people familiar with true love, will all answer the same.

Now, we may all arrive at different times in our lives, but once we get there, wouldn’t “true” love be the same for all??

Just my thoughts.

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:18 am

we may NOT all arrive…is what I meant….

Durty Burd

September 16th, 2013
11:19 am

Exiled….My Durty Burds might be in for a long season…They have been relatively injury free the past 3 years, now the injury has hit and we have a lack of dept in key positions…This could be a tough year for the Burds…

When you know that person has your back regardless of the situation, you know that person really loves you..Now I will support you thru thick and thin except for breaking the law… :)

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:20 am

And if you can tuck tail and run, then it was never love. If you can use and abuse, it was never love (by the giver or receiver). If you aren’t willing to take care and provide, it’s not love. If you have to have her/him meet you half way, IMO that’s not love.

As my late pastor said, “love is not 50/50, it’s 100/100.” You do your part to go all the way with it and your SO does his/her part to go all the way with it, then that’s love.

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:25 am

If you won’t give you last, it’s not love :)

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:28 am

Then too, I don’t think there’s “children/family” love versus spousal love. IMO and as I’ve always believed, you come together on a feeling…lust, intrigue, attraction,etc etc etc, but you don’t know love until you’ve you’re tried and found to be true. To look back and see what kept you there and kept you going. What made you walk away from something tempting when you could have easily gone there? What made you take a hardline sometimes? For me, I’ve come to learn the feeling I get from sex or holding hands or sitting close has nothing to do with love. It comes from the attraction I feel. And if love is a feeling per se, what do FWBs or FBs call that same feeling they get, when they have sex? Wouldn’t that “feeling” render withe same with folks in love, lovers, FWBs, FBs?

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:29 am

….that feeling rendered, be the same with….

is what I meant

MsAtl

September 16th, 2013
11:32 am

Durty- Thank you. :oops:

Disco- I have had that conversation before and have pondered whether there is such a thing as unconditional love. I think that there is but sometimes the conditions are so extreme that you have to love someone from afar…

disco

September 16th, 2013
11:34 am

C – I think you are diminishing your own post by using “true”. after all you said love is love is love. so true love is opposed to fake love? pretend love? lie love? what difference does it make if it’s all love and love is love. ijs. lol. oh and that 100% thing (to me) is mostly just a romantic notion. I really don’t think the percentage matters since love can’t be quantitatively measured anyway. besides love (by the definition of many here) should mean stepping in when that other person can’t meet their percentage.

Bluzgirl

September 16th, 2013
11:34 am

Morning everyone!

It used to drive me crazy when The Ex said that he and I had a different definition of love. I think he felt that if I loved him enough, I should let him get away with anything. In the beginning, it was pretty easy to tell when he fell in love with me. He was kind of like a sweet puppy dog. He was great. Too bad that all changed and he reverted to being the jerk he really is! LOL!

Anyway…weekend was great, yet tiring! Since I took Fri off, I went out Thurs night and had a great time. I also had tickets on Friday night to see Ben Harper and Charlie Musselwhite (excellent show), then went to the bar I used to hang out at all the time. I didn’t get home until about 4 am and boy was I tired on Saturday! I’m no spring chicken anymore!!! I slept most of the day. Yesterday, I went to Athens to see my brother and nephew and to meet my brother’s girlfriend. Very interesting.

Kimmie – All I gotta say is “WOW” to Breaking Bad last night!!!

kimmie

September 16th, 2013
11:42 am

Bluz – Girl, it was off the chain, I was screaming!! From the podcasts my hubs listened to this morning, the theory is that Walt knew the police were at the house, so he said what he said to Skylar so she would have an alibi and be able to avoid jail and raise Holly & Walt Jr.

Bluzgirl

September 16th, 2013
11:47 am

I can’t wait to see what they do in these final two episodes. They really could have ended it last night since Walt got into that van to disappear. What a crazy show it was last night. You have a good point about that phone call. I didn’t understand why he was being that way to her on the phone, but that makes sense…

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:48 am

disco – so true love is opposed to fake love? pretend love? lie love?

Yep, soooo many operate under the guise of a feeling. And I’ll toss in unrequited love as well…lololol So so so many are robbing themselves of the real thing. Even though MMeello’s post was suppose to be funny, situations like that happen every day, based on a feeling or how well he puts it down….but a feeling (that causes you to be stupid) is not love. Love don’t rob you of what you’re entitled (and I don’t mean “things or stuff”).

And the 100/100 is not a romantic notion, the man that explained his thoughts had been married at that time about 59 years. He was married 62 years before passing. He was talking about if she don’t meet you half of the way, then what? He was saying if “love” real love (not playing, not emotions, not a feeling) is present, then you both will meet the mark. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about dude carrying some sorry woman. Too lazy to work, to lazy to clean, etc etc etc…that calls for “tough love.” lolololol

Button

September 16th, 2013
11:49 am

men go thru intense emotional feelings also when it comes love, women aren’t the only ones who get all emotional, well at least from my experience. We tend to underestimate what love means to a man and how he feels inside about it. I love a sensetive man that is not afraid to show/profress his love and when the tears flow, watch out! It’s such a beautiful thing.

Celisea

September 16th, 2013
11:49 am

disco – should mean stepping in when that other person can’t meet their percentage.

And that’s the point I’m making…who is measuring?

Reio

September 16th, 2013
11:50 am

Morning All!

My posts won’t go thru.

Button

September 16th, 2013
11:58 am

the one who cares the least controls the relationship. This phrase always keep me knowing that no only will one care more than the other but one will love more than the other.

disco

September 16th, 2013
12:00 pm

button – a man crying is a beautiful thing???? did his momma just die? did he just have eye surgery? ijs.

disco

September 16th, 2013
12:05 pm

in Lackawanna blues s. epatha merkerson said “sometimes a man and a woman have an understand that no one else understands”. quite frankly, I think that can sum of love. love by definition (according to Webster or roget or whoever) may be one thing but love is personal. no one can define anyone else’s love and folks really ought to stop trying. the battered woman that equates beatings to love. well, if that’s her love, who am I to judge?

Bluzgirl

September 16th, 2013
12:07 pm

Button – I do agree that a man crying is a beautiful thing…especially when they are not very sensitive. I’ll never forget when I tried to leave an old ex (the one who died last year) and he started crying and told me how much he loved me and asked me to stay. He was not one to say those 3 words easily. It was sweet and I stayed.

The Ex even cried as I broke up with him. I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with how he felt about me, though. He was probably crying cause he knew he would either have to live with his mama again or out on the streets…

Exiled

September 16th, 2013
12:15 pm

Celisea..so if u married,u stray and hunch someone then realize,No,I gotta go back to sweetie..my old faithful because that’s who u truly love…ain’t that love?

I think that’s love!

Leggs

September 16th, 2013
12:17 pm

“Love don’t rob you of what you’re entitled” – I really like this!

“He was probably crying cause he knew he would either have to live with his mama again or out on the streets…” – :lol: :lol:

Morning Reio!

disco

September 16th, 2013
12:18 pm

not sure why but I just thought of Stephen king’s storm of the century when old boy showed up and issued the ultimatum for the town to give him one kid or he’d make them all “go away”. remember he kept saying “”give me what I want and I’ll go away”. lol. anyway, I guess I thought of the love angle with that scenario. yeah. I go left sometimes.

Durty Burd

September 16th, 2013
12:19 pm

There is no such thing as fake,pretend or lying love. Just folks taking advantage of someone else and folks put love on the end to justify the reasons…Fake is just tricking, pretending is just faking and lying is tricking and faking..Love has many forms but none of these are included…

Disco it is called misguided…some words are what they are,there is no need to put another spin on it…Folks can define real love but they may not know what it really is and that has nothing to do with abuse, tricking,faking and lying…