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Ending on good terms

I just had one  of the best break ups.  It was a long time coming so there really was no big surprise.  I guess being old as I am has it benefits when it comes to dating.   There is less fighting, bitterness, or revenge plots!  Ending on good terms is more likely when folks are mature.

I wondered what it would take to have all break ups go this well.  Sometimes the actual break up is just a formality.   When you have already seen the writing on the wall, saying it loud just seems like the natural next step.  I still wonder why some of my exes opted to take the ridiculous route and cause unnecessary pain in breaking up.

Why is it so hard to break up and end on a good note?  Staying calm, deciding to be friends and actually mean it, and wishing each other the best – is that really so hard?

Are you still friends with your exes?  Is ending on good terms normal for you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
3:41 pm

kimmie ~ he said he can’t guarantee anything because he will cross that bridge when March of 2014 rolls around. WTF, is stupid stenciled on my forehead. Cross that bridge by yourself and hope there’s water underneath and you drown…well not really, then the child wouldn’t have a daddy. Well, hope a troll bites your ankle!

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:41 pm

acquiring a new friend before the holidays still warrant you getting them a little something something other than your weiner! IJS….

He better ask somebody. And don’t be coming with paper mached stuff, or them trinkets from CVS…lololol. He better head to the counter at Phipps….pick a store or something, but it dang shole won’t be “Merry Chrimmus, baby”….and that’s all

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:44 pm

Doesn’t matter, cuz his number now has DNA next to it.

Imma miss this feature about my phone. I hope Iphone has this feature, to block an individual’s number. My Blackberry didn’t.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:44 pm

Iphone in one month!!!

Robert

September 3rd, 2013
3:46 pm

@Celisea – ” I saw this dress….OOOOMMMMGGG, CK black dress. Plain with short cuffed sleeves, to die for….IT WAS $498.00 on sale for $198.00 That’s out of my range….it sure was a beautiful beautiful dress.”

Too bad I was not shopping with you. I would have loved to see you in that “little black dress”. I would have thrown in the shoes too. I bet you have little pretty feet. lol

Reio

September 3rd, 2013
3:47 pm

Celisea – My Blackberry won’t block them either, but I save them(all advertisers) as ‘Do Not Answer’. So, when I see ‘Do Not Answer’, I don’t.

2CPTG©

September 3rd, 2013
3:47 pm

Iphone in one month!!!

Nooo, Celie, don’t do it……Microsoft just bought out Nokia, so look out for the next Lumia….

kimmie

September 3rd, 2013
3:47 pm

Leggs – When folks, especially men, roll up with mess like that it makes me wonder. If the shoe were on the other foot and you stepped to him like that after he had asked you out, talking about you can only go out when lil Leggs is off visiting her daddy! What would his reaction and his response to you be? And you are right, some other woman will go for that. They might even look at it admirally like “see what a devoted daddy he is?”

See Leggs, that’s a good man. You just won’t act right!! :lol:

Exiled

September 3rd, 2013
3:49 pm

@Disco…back!

I was fixing her plumbing for sure..

little blushin’. :lol: since uall know what’s up.

Quick fix

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:49 pm

Awww, look at Rob being sweet. :mrgreen:

Honestly, had I not “just” paid the nurse for my mom, Idda bought the dress for 198.00 For real. Yes it’s out of my range, but rarely do I run up on something that jumps out at me when shopping. Usually, if I’m looking for something in particular, I’m looking for days/weeks, before I find what I reaaaally want.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:50 pm

2Can/Reio – I was thinking about going back to Blackberry but the touch version.

2Can – I saw that advertised. Wasn’t sure if it was any good. I’m just counting the days for my contact to end….tick tick tick tick

disco

September 3rd, 2013
3:51 pm

ex – well in that case, it sure didn’t take you long at all.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 3rd, 2013
3:51 pm

Y’all have tripping out on the seasonal lover, Leggs that guy felt he could dictate the terms using his daughter as a pendulum. Like you said it’s gonna work on some gal wanting attention desperately.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:52 pm

Reio – My phone will block, but like you I still place a DNA next to the number. I do that so when I transfer all my contacts, they’ll come over already coded…lol

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
3:52 pm

See Leggs, that’s a good man. You just won’t act right!! – Yep, that’s why I’m going to keep getting what I deserve….PEACE and QUIET. I don’t mind cuz I ain’t biting at everyone who wants a bite!!! # truth.com

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
3:52 pm

Now that’s what I was thinking…that that wasn’t long…lol

kimmie

September 3rd, 2013
3:53 pm

Blackfoote/Leggs – She won’t even have to be desperate, just dumb!LOL!! See it’s all in the presentation. :lol:

Robert

September 3rd, 2013
3:54 pm

@Leggs – “~ acquiring a new friend before the holidays still warrant you getting them a little something something other than your weiner!”

I am not a cheap date. If I see something I feel is appropriate (dress, jewelry, etc.) I might give it as a gift regardless of the occassion (holiday, birthday, mothers day, etc.). I love to spoil my woman with nice gifts. I send flowers all the time just to say “I Love You” for no reason at all.

Most women do not feel it is appropriate for them to buy a man a gift especially if they are in a new relationship. Ladies how do you feel? Would you buy a new guy a gift for christmas? How much would you send (10,20,50 dollars)?

kimmie

September 3rd, 2013
3:54 pm

Seasonal Lover

Sounds like it ought to be the name of a song!!LOL!!!

Reio

September 3rd, 2013
3:55 pm

kimmie – If a woman had said that to me, we wouldn’t go out at all. Never. Seems stupid. All they would be seeking, in that instance, would be a bed mate, no strings attached. I could never do that, even as a younger man. Cause I realized, early on, that intimacy is a really good feeling, but afterwards, now what? For me, there had to be more. To each his own, though.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 3rd, 2013
3:56 pm

LOL………@Kimmie dumb works even better.

YesSheIsCute

September 3rd, 2013
3:56 pm

@Reio I was confused. I wasn’t sure if you were talking as a married man recalling memories or as a present day single person. That’s all.

@Leggs wow so to stop all relationships because his daughter is down for the summer? Weird….

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
3:57 pm

Blackfoote ~ that guy is stopped up as a result of spending all his time with his daughter. Nothing wrong with that. HOWEVER, do not come to me like I’m a can of drano to get you flowing propertly. Hell no! Am I offended, you damn skippy and he knows it. Didn’t cuss him out (no need), but I doubt he’ll have the nerve to call me again. He’s 10 years younger than I am and acts 15 years older than my age! I need someone who doesn’t need geritol to get started.

disco

September 3rd, 2013
3:58 pm

leggs – do they still make geritol? lol.

kimmie

September 3rd, 2013
4:00 pm

Robert – I would have to get a feel for the relationship. Most times if I was dating someone new around the holidays, I would bake him some cookies and put them in a nice container or give him a nice bottle of wine I know he likes. No need to go overboard or stress out over it. My hubs and I had been dating a little under 3 months our first Christmas. I baked cookies and put them in a nice basket, along with a dvd and some sparkling cider he could share with his kids. He gave me a nice selection of teas in a fancy wooden box, which I love and still have.

Reio

September 3rd, 2013
4:01 pm

Celisea – I have the touch screen Blackberry. Go ahead and get the iPhone. It’s better, more apps designed for it. Very capable. The Blackberry is more than adequate for my needs. And less expensive.

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
4:01 pm

Robert ~ I understand you’re not a cheap date, but your post to Celisea stated you making her your friend during the holidays with FWB…nothing less, but definitely nothing more (lolol).

Yes ~ it’s beyond weird and extremely detrimental. He can’t see it now, but he will…

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
4:02 pm

:lol: :lol: Good question, disco!

Exiled

September 3rd, 2013
4:02 pm

Disco/Celisea…she is my wife,why do I need to hit it twice or thrice or four times.

U do that on a new new girl…

and there is tonite! :lol:

Reio

September 3rd, 2013
4:05 pm

YesSheIsCute -
“Reio I was confused. I wasn’t sure if you were talking as a married man recalling memories or as a present day single person.”

Yes, I’m married, and that incident occured while I was married. Mentioned it to one of my sisters in passing once, years afterwards, but no one else knows about, as far as I know.

disco

September 3rd, 2013
4:06 pm

ex – just saying, even for once, that was pretty fast. guess that’s how they do it where you come from. lol.

YesSheIsCute

September 3rd, 2013
4:06 pm

@Robert Depends on how new he is. If he gets started now he might get something really nice by December. Otherwise I’m not buying a new guy nothing unless he asks me what I want for Christmas first. If not, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year is all you get! I might bake some cookies and put it in a nice tin can with a card. It’s the thought that counts. :D

disco

September 3rd, 2013
4:07 pm

ex – and re do that on a new girl. what you saying? you D her down real good to try to reel her in and then when you get her she gets the 2 minute brother that’s been hiding behind the representative? let me ask you this. does your wife have a boyfriend? ijs. lol.

Leggs

September 3rd, 2013
4:08 pm

“just saying, even for once, that was pretty fast. guess that’s how they do it where you come from. lol.”

HILARIOUS. No hot wash cloth, no lingering, no gazing. Thank you wifey, see you later tonite, I’m out!

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:09 pm

Rob – Yes, I would buy a “new” boo a gift. I just would… Now, depending on how long we were booed will determine the cost or how much I’d be willing to spend. Even if we made things official say December. I would be “thoughtful” and do something nice, but not too expensive. But trust, if you put “thought” into something, you don’t always have to go the expensive route.

MMeello – Mmm hmmm, I hear ya. “Quickie” came to mind.

Reio – I had the Blackberry for years. I’m not really a proponent of “touch”, it’s all good and all, but I’m okay typing/pecking stuff. I’m going to shop around, but right now iPhone is leading. I’m one that reads all the features and will call to have more explained to me about the phone…lol

Exiled

September 3rd, 2013
4:13 pm

just saying, even for once, that was pretty fast.

disco…i told u,its just the two of us at home watching telly..

she was mouthing me whilst on the sofa..but had to go upstairs to finish the drill…..do u want a play by play,start to finish…? :lol:

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:13 pm

To paint a better picture on how thorough I’ve learned to be, I just changed insurance companies. How bout I called and was trying to get the girl to explain a clause in the contract. I mean I knew what the coverage was, but I had a question down into the body, the explanation of what will be paid under what circumstances. She was like “wow, no one has ever called and asked. And given that you can understand and explain back what you think it’s saying, you’re good.” She was having a hard time interpretating it for me…hahahaha…

So yeah, when I buy a phone or anything for that matter, I ask a gazillion questions.

Mrs. SexyCool

September 3rd, 2013
4:13 pm

M still has his Palm Treo from 6 or 7 years ago. He is holding onto it for dear life. He has a killer calling plan and doesn’t want to lose his plan just to upgrade his phone.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:15 pm

she was mouthing me whilst on the sofa..but had to go upstairs to finish the drill…..do u want a play by play,start to finish…?

Soooo, you was blogging while that was going on?? Cause you “toodled” us before heading upstairs? I would be mad that you weren’t paying attention or being attentive to the “job” being performed.

Reio

September 3rd, 2013
4:15 pm

disco – Some married couples know absolutely what to do to get their spouse’ off. And under those circumstances, it really doesn’t take long. My wife calls it her “Sleeping Pill”. Sure seems to work, cause her azz will doze right on off afterwards. With a big smile on her face, of course. Hehehehe…

Mrs. SexyCool

September 3rd, 2013
4:16 pm

Exiled

September 3rd, 2013
4:16 pm

let me ask you this. does your wife have a boyfriend?

Disco…YES…..ME.

a new girl, u have to hit it a couple times..one time wont do it….and its best u try do a trip outta town,excluded,not rushed..by the time u come home..either she knows u can hit or u lost points..

a quickie wont do it..unless uall me in aq club came outta the club to hit it because lisenciousness was on both of uall minds. :lol:

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:16 pm

I have a great plan as well. I’ve started to upgrade several times, but I just want out of my contract. One month to go!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 3rd, 2013
4:16 pm

Now that’s sweet of y’all to get your man a little something early in the relations. I’d be very flattered, course as a man I think women should get something no matter how new it is.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:17 pm

I wasn’t really “asking”, asking. I was making an observation….lololol I could be off, but that’s what I surmised.

Exiled

September 3rd, 2013
4:17 pm

T. M. I.

Disco….u see…ur fault…

some of uall are already squirming in ur seats.

no play by play then

TMI

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:19 pm

Blackfoote, yep that’s how I would do it. Nothing wrong with doing something nice during the new stage. IMExperience, it makes things so much sweeter and nice :mrgreen: I would though, send a message that I ain’t gon be taking care of you now, so don’t get it twisted….hahahahahahahahaha I kid I kid

disco

September 3rd, 2013
4:20 pm

ex – my fault? I didn’t post TMI. all I did was suggest you were a little quick on the draw.

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:20 pm

Now, if we met or made things official Christmas eve, you’re getting baked goods, a card (if I can get to the store by 6:00) and dinner with the fam!!

Celisea

September 3rd, 2013
4:21 pm

Ummmm, Mmeello posted TMI, we knew nothing til he spoke…both times