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Archive for August, 2013

Juggling dates: Should you come clean?

Nora is seeing a couple of really good guys but neither of them have really stood out from the rest.  She thinks she needs more time to spend with each of them to figure the one she thinks is an ideal match.  Juggling dates can be a lot of work, though!  Is it a good idea to date multiple people? When should you tell them that they are one of many?

I remember a guy telling me that I was one of his “all-stars” of his dream team.  Whatever that offensive basketball analogy meant – I didn’t like it.  Call me crazy, but in this particular situation, I think ignorance really is bliss.

Has anyone you dated ever told you that they were juggling dates?  Did it bother you that they were seeing someone else?  Do you usually keep your options open while dating someone who you really like?  When do you cut the ties and focus on the one main romantic interest?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Materialism kills dating?

Money can’t buy you love but it definitely can get a lot on the dating scene.  Atlanta is known for its opulence and there are flashy people here  who show off their wealth often.  What I don’t understand is why so many people forget how fun and interesting dating can be when you trim out all the extra.  Do you really need all that materialism to impress each other?

The best fun I have had did not involve loads of money.  When people who are materialistic need to impress and be impressed while overlooking the really important traits about a person.  Why do you think there is so much materialism in Atlanta?

Are you guilty of being impressed by the wealth and material things too much?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Men move on faster?

My friend Hannah has been taking her break up very hard.  To make matters worse, she Facebook stalked looked up her ex-boyfriend and found that he is engaged to be married. They ended their relationship less than a year ago and she has yet to even focus on a new romance.  She wondered how it was even possible that he not only got over her, but found someone else, fell in love, and moved on to getting engaged!

I had to break it to her that it is likely that he was seeing this woman while they were still together.  The overlap of relationships is common practice among men who like to keep their options open while keeping a “main chick”.   Women do this, too.

Then I also said that a lot of times, men seem to move on to new romances faster than women. We are the “emotional creatures” who get our hearts invested in relationships. Women are resilient but it does take us time to move on and get ready for someone new.

Why does it seem as though men can move on to the next so …

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Vetting your dates?

I have to start asking around about the men that I mean.  I feel as if I am reverting back to my naive days when I just assume people are sane,  normal, and gainfully employed.  They are most definitely not always any of of these, so why not vet a person a little bit.  One of the perks of blind dates is having a little intel on someone who you decide to date.

When you don’t have friend referrals or you don’t know anyone family members, is it smart to do a little screening?  Would you actually invest in an internet search or go so far as to hire an investigator?

I know a woman who said she wished she vetted her man before she started dating him.  It turns out he had a criminal record and a history of financial fraud.  Will vetting your date even net results that are useful? Have you ever done it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Relationships: Baggage claim

I saw the trailer for an upcoming film called, Baggage Claim, that made me think about one of the worst dates I have ever had.  The guy spent a good 20 minutes ranting about his ex wife.  I didn’t know whether to feel bad for him or hand him my therapist’s phone number!

He talked as if he was open to a new relationship but it was clear this guy had baggage.   I’m not talking about little carry on size baggage, either.  I think that we all have some baggage, though.  Heaven knows I harbor a bit of battle scars from the dating battlefield.  The difference is I recognize it and try to deal with it.  I don’t know if a lot of people realize they have baggage from their last relationships that they need to own up to.

Do you think that you have baggage from your former relationships?  Is it possible for some of it to be good and helpful?

Have you ever dated someone who had a little too much baggage for you to handle?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

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Bedroom seduction: Do you need a class?

One of the best part of blogging about dating, relationships, and sex is going to do field research! This week, yours truly attended a really interesting seduction class.  The instructor was a super fierce,  extremely knowledgeable woman named Harley.  She is Head Master in her School of Seduction (link warning: NSFW) so we were in for quite a night!

The instructions were to bring a paper, pen and a banana to class …and having an open mind helped too.  Harley proceeded to give demonstrations,  tips, and very helpful advice on pleasing your mate.  I was even asked to come up and show the class the art of dirty talk, which kind of surprised even me!

As I was learning all the new tricks, Harley advised the class of about 10 women that you never show guys you are dating all your tricks.  Some things should be saved for later and for the special someone who has earned your trust.  I believe this was the best take away dating advice!

Have you ever taken a class in seduction? …

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Breakup blues?

Dealing with a break up can be frustrating.  Once a relationship has ended, you may start to wish that you owned a time machine that could move you to the future where you are completely over it.  Unfortunately, we have to go through it at some point.  It is strange how some people appear to be so resilient to break ups and others struggle with it.

What is the best way to get over a break up?  I believe it helps a lot when you avoid contact with your ex for a while.  Your break up blues will never go away if you are still having sex, arguments, or emotional conversations with the person.   I know it is hard to just lift a person right out of your life when they have been such a huge part of your life for a long time.  You need that time to gain perspective and learn the lessons that you need to about what happened and why.

Have you ever had a hard time getting over a break up?  What did you do to move on? What happens when your ex refuses to let you move forward? How …

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Dating: Failed the cooking test

My friend Grant wants to ask his latest romantic interest to go take cooking lessons.   After getting a little sample of her culinary treats, he actually believes this idea will not offend her.  Grant grew up with a Mother who did not work outside the home.  He always does this cooking test to any woman he dates.  If she fails, he literally loses interest in her!

Of course, this is one of the reasons why Grant is so picky and therefore still single.  He believes that a woman should know how to cook some things.  He even thinks it is fine to let a woman know when her cooking skills don’t meet his standards.  I don’t know how I would react if a man asked me to go get cooking lessons, though.  This is something that seems a little extreme.

I understand the importance of anyone, man or woman, being able to cook.  What would you do if someone you were dating complained about how you cooked? Would you be willing to go get a cooking lesson?

Have you ever had to tell someone …

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Does personality make you attractive?

You know how people always refer to a person’s personality when they are trying to set you up on a blind date?  It’s almost like the personality of someone can literally make them appear more attractive.  We talked about attraction yesterday and I thought about how much a person’s charm can add to their appeal.

The same way a person’s personality can instantly make them more appealing, a really awful personality can make a good looking person look horrendous.  Funny,’ how that works!  Have you ever met someone who became more unattractive as you got to see their personality?

Have you ever met someone and thought you had zero chemistry in the beginning then got to know them and they slowly became irresistible?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating and attraction

I read somewhere that you people should be careful what they “project” because we attract others by the image we project.  Attraction can be so perplexing at times.  We are drawn to such different people for many different reasons.   Sometimes the person we absolutely should not be attracted to is the same person we feel the most attracted to.

If someone is drawn to bad boys or wild chicks, is that because of attraction?  I don’t believe we can control attraction, but we I think we should be responsible for our actions.

When it comes to who gets our attention first, what does attraction have to do with what we project?  Do you agree with the idea that we attract what we project to others? For instance, if men who are flashy and show off their wealth, should they be surprised when they attract women who like wealthy men?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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