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Dating: I liked you better online

Even if you manage not to get “catfished” while dating online, there is also a another tricky scenario:  They don’t match their online personality!  My friend Saul met a woman through a mutual Facebook friend.  She accepted his friend request and they began communicating through messages.  He was so impressed with her that it did not take long to set up a face to face meeting.

The date was not exactly what he had in mind.  They struggled to keep the conversation going and her personality seemed to be completely different.  How does that happen?

If you meet someone online and you communicate or observe each other through social media outlets, should you be the same offline too?  Is it reasonable to expect the person who you have come to know online to at least resemble the person they are in real life?

Have you ever met someone online and realized they are the opposite of what they projected online?

Happy Friday! Headed out of town for Labor Day but I will be back on Tuesday.  Have a safe and happy holiday weekend MIA!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

156 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

August 30th, 2013
6:19 am

Good morning! First! Hehe

Yes I think it is reasonable to expect the person you have come to know online to resemble the person they are in real life. I think there are exceptions for instance if a person is bolder online and in person they are shy but still seem to have the same type of conversation or personality as their profile I think that is ok. I don’t think I’ve met anyone that was the opposite of what they projected online. But I have met people who were more than I expected based on a lackluster profile or an empty one.

Lee

August 30th, 2013
7:18 am

Some People think they can be anyone online and it is not just dating sites. Shrugs I don’t think it is any different than meeting one somewhere and that person telling long tales about themselves, those kinds of people are everywhere.

Take everything you hear and see with a grain of salt….

Have A Wonderful weekend everyone!!! :)

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
8:09 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!! *It’s the WEEKEND!!!* :-D

Some people actually come across better in person than they do online and vice versa. The thing about online communication BEFORE actually meeting is that you can come up with your own preconceived notions of who you THINK they are.

There’s just something about actual face to face communication that gives you a more overall view of who you’re dealing with. You get to actually view body language while engaged in conversation which I believe is very important.

Button

August 30th, 2013
8:12 am

What was he so impressed about? was it that she used exclamation marks after every sentence? Did she hava a laundry list of accolades? or was it her pictures?

I’ve met the look good on paper but in person he was a dud. It happens. When behind the screen some ppl have more confidence. Just like on the phone, some ppl can talk your head off but in person they are quiet as a mouse.

I would take online profiles with a grain of salt and not run with it until I’ve met the person face to face. I LOVE catfish! that show is #stupidcrazy

Good morning!

Button

August 30th, 2013
8:14 am

Miss Moni – “The thing about online communication BEFORE actually meeting is that you can come up with your own preconceived notions of who you THINK they are.” <—- TRUTH!!

Button

August 30th, 2013
8:21 am

I liked you better online – maybe that’s why so many ppl can get away with being a catfish, bc they are liked so much better in online than in person. They are accepted. Sad as it is, it happens all the time.

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
8:40 am

Hi Button, thanks! Turth recognize truth! :-)

YesSheIsCute

August 30th, 2013
8:43 am

The thing about online communication BEFORE actually meeting is that you can come up with your own preconceived notions of who you THINK they are That is true. Especially if you don’t meet them right after seeing their profile.

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
8:43 am

Funny topic…..I don’t virtual stuff. Now, from folks I’ve met here (which the extent), I can do “lols” and stuff all day, playing the game as well as the next, going with the flow, exchanging thoughts and ideas and a few light facts, but trust me, nothing doing, nothing happening beyond that, until and unless I know you. I’m not into the virtual thing, to the point of being hooked. Like I said, I can “go along” with you, but when it’s time for the rubber to hit the road, I think you’ll discover, it was as big a game for me as it was for you…..if a person wants to take it there….catfishing. And just like I’ve had fun with email exchanges….whatever fun mean….I can delete and block yo tail as quick as you can blink :mrgreen:

It’s beyond me though, why a person would try and trip folks up? What goes on in a person psyche that makes them want to bamboozle folks and then to “hide” to get it done, at that. Just don’t understand that mentalility. Having said that, if a person truly wants to be friends and make a connection, IMO I guess it’s possible to be in person, who you are online. But, IMO (and maybe I’m just ignorant to this fact), mostly the “low down and dirty” get their kicks from bulling BS through these kinds of means…social networks, virtual, etc etc. IMO, they know they can’t get the “low down and dirty” done as good in person as they can online.

Stay away from folks online…lolololol

YesSheIsCute

August 30th, 2013
8:49 am

@Celisea you’re so right!

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
8:50 am

And IMO, if you gotta “hide” to pull tricks and shoot BS, you are a coward. Shoot, I can respect them (yes them) brothers…or folks, that can doing their tricking, live and in color…lol

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
8:51 am

YSIC…I got my email addys (I have 3) on block!!!

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
8:52 am

YSIC, you must be familiar with what I speak…lol :)

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
8:54 am

“Stay away from folks online.”

-Celisea Especially in terms of dating somebody, LOL! However, there are some folks who have those types of love stories. You know, where they met online, went out, fell in love, got married and are enjoying their life.

Like I always say, do what works for you & what you’re comfortable with. As for me, I prefer to meet a guy the old fashioned way, face to face! :-D

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
8:56 am

MM – I’ve heard of folks doing the dang thing and taking it offline. Kudos to those folks. I’m scared of folks online….lololol Shady shady…lol

YesSheIsCute

August 30th, 2013
9:02 am

@Celisea I’m not scared of folks online. But maybe I should be.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:14 am

Morning all! HAPPY LABOR DAY to ya!!

Never met anybody online. Years ago they used to have ‘chat rooms’(probably still do). I went to some of those off and on, not looking, just chatting. Several women(I assumed they were women) sent me their email address and/or their phone numbers. This was before cell phones were big. Couldn’t call most of them(there were only a few, actually) because they were long distance. I did call a couple of the local numbers and talked. Nothing special. Never actually met any of them. I wouldn’t recommend it though. A brief conversation over the phone, then face to face is best.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:15 am

I can’t even think of anyone that I know that met someone online. At least willing to admit they met someone online. Heheheh.

2CPTG©

August 30th, 2013
9:16 am

morning….

I am sooo not this way in real life….

disco

August 30th, 2013
9:17 am

good morning.

moni – forgive me but it’s not the weekend until I clock out. lol.

yes and moni – I agree with both of you to an extent. most folks get a little brazen online when they are tucked away safely in the confines of their own home while curled up on the couch with a laptop. you don’t see how big and sloppy they are or how loud and ghetto they are or how soft spoken and meek they are. all you get is words on a screen and therein lies the problem. the online persona has mad “talk game” and folks get caught up in that.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:21 am

For some reason, I get spam advertising ‘Local Sluts’, or women looking for ‘Sugar Daddies’ with a toll free number to call to hook up with ‘Local Sluts’. It goes to my spam folder, so my email program, Microsoft Outlook, already knows about this site and sends it to spam for me. Lots of trouble online just waiting for ya.

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
9:21 am

-Disco I’m sitting here at work now, like come on 4pm, LOL!!!

Robert

August 30th, 2013
9:22 am

Robert’s Rules on Dating – Internet Dating (Do’s & Don’ts)
Top 10

Do’s
1. Use a alias name (Lester-the-Molestor my male stripper name). lol
2. Use updated pictures (not your high school pictures)
3. Use good english when writing your profile (no text slang)
4. Indicate your preferred age dating range (30-35 yrs old)
5. Indicate your expectations (friendship, marriage, etc.)

Don’ts
1. Never give out your name, address and phone number. Wait a few days.
2. Never get in a strangers car. Drive your own car.
3. Never meet at someone else’s house. Not worth the risk.
4. Never meet for lunch at your place of work. Wise.
5. Never give money to strangers. You are not an ATM.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:27 am

You can’t even trust the ‘legit’ sites, like ‘Christian Singles’ or ‘eharmony’. They tend to vet people beforehand, but you still don’t know till you actually meet them. Still kinda risky I believe.

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
9:39 am

-Reio This one time when I was in undergrad, I met a guy in an online chat room. We chatted it up for hours for a few days and then he asked for my number. It was the number that came with my dorm room, so it wasn’t like he could trace it to me. Anyway, we talked ALOT and this was BEFORE Skype & Tango, so I wanted to SEE what he looked like. Long story short, we NEVER met in person because he ALWAYS came up with an excuse. Needless to say, when he finally did send a picture it was from about 10 years ago when he was in the Air Force. He finally confessed and said that he was very overweight and not exactly what he had described.

So, for some it’s all fun & games until it’s time to match up the person with what they’ve said. Very valuable lesson learned!!!

disco

August 30th, 2013
9:44 am

moni – dude had no choice but to confess. you can’t hide fat in person. lol. did you continue to speak with him at all or was it a wrap?

Single & Happy

August 30th, 2013
9:46 am

Hey all

I’ve meet plenty of people online, and I treat them just like I do the people I meet offline, believe half of what I see, none of what I hear until I get to know the person. Rules don’t change because because the method has.

MsMoni you’re right, people put these high expectations on people then they’re disappointed when they don’t live up to them. but I guess that’s the world we live in now.

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
9:47 am

When folks start asking about skyping, it’s getting a little too close for comfort…lol

When I’ve had someone to ask to meet, I start making up excuses…lololol

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
9:50 am

I think could probably feel better if folks honestly wanted to add to their “friend” pile. But, IMO I’m skewed to believe via the “online” process, folks just want something…which is usually not good.

disco

August 30th, 2013
9:50 am

anyone else thinking of friday, talking about she said she looked like janet Jackson and got out of the car looking like freddy Jackson?

Button

August 30th, 2013
9:51 am

Miss Moni – wow…you’ve been catfished! well kinda sorta

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
9:51 am

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:53 am

People who want to actually meet someone online are the one’s that actually tell the truth about themselves. I was often asked to describe myself by women(they said they were women) in these chat rooms. I could have told the truth( dashing, debinair, Denzel, Paul Newman, Burt reynolds, body builder type fella), but instead I would lie(average unassuming, quiet, shy, in the background, forgettable kinda fella). Hehehehe….

Leggs

August 30th, 2013
9:55 am

Catfishing is one of the stupidest things I know now exist. Completely turned me off from online virtual relationships. I’m sticking to the old traditional ways of dating.

Morning.

disco

August 30th, 2013
9:55 am

reio – burt Reynolds?????

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
9:57 am

-Disco NO, that was the end of that after I gave him a good tongue lashing on how he should be upfront with someone from Day 1. He was about 10 years older than me & way too old for that foolishness, LOL!!!

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
9:58 am

There was a guy that use to blog here that emailed me. After about 2 or 3 exchanges he started literally did a run-down of his looks……dark chocolate, well built….I mean literally a run down.

RED FLAG on those kinds of exchanges

Robert

August 30th, 2013
9:59 am

@Celisea;Miss Moni;Button – Let’s play online dating –

Hello, my name is Lester/Molestor. I really liked your profile so I decided to send you a message instead of a generic “flirt” message. Can we “chat” online or you can contact me on my personal email (Molestor.yahoo.com) or give me a call (678-777-9311)? I look forward to hearing from you.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
9:59 am

disco – “burt Reynolds?????”

Yes, people used to mistake me for him all the time years ago. Hehehehe….

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
10:00 am

doing a run down…sorry, I was erasing some thangs…lol

All is not lost. If you get out and about, do events and happenings, you’re bound to meet someone.

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
10:01 am

Robert – I’on do molesters :shock: I’m good already…lol

disco

August 30th, 2013
10:03 am

moni – just checking. some people like having “phone friends”. lol.

C – why does it have to be a red flag? if I told someone I was chocolate and well built I wouldn’t be lying. lol.

Miss Moni

August 30th, 2013
10:06 am

-Robert Honestly, I would instantly delete your message.

-Disco Yeah, I’ve heard of people who enjoy having phone friends. So are you anti long distance relationships?

Robert

August 30th, 2013
10:10 am

@Miss Moni;Celisea – If I am online trying to find a woman I will send the same message to a lot of women and see who will respond back. This is called “net fishing”. You can catch more fish with a net if they swim all together. A Real Player will use all his skills to catch a really BIG FISH (home, car, money, etc.). Too many sharks looking for prey. Buyer beware of online dating.

YesSheIsCute

August 30th, 2013
10:10 am

I like Robert’s rules. @disco I feel like I’m a little flirtatious with the jokes online. But in person. I would never! I’m too shy. But as far as my personality and conversation goes what you see/hear is what you get.

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
10:14 am

disco – He also asked if he could meet me in Orlando…I was traveling on business. It was just so “up front” and off the top. I’m leary of that kind of stuff…so early on. You wanna be cool virtually, as in “friends for real”, no motives, I’m cool making friends. But if you take me for willy lump lump, then or come off as such, nah, I’ll pass.

Reio

August 30th, 2013
10:16 am

I can remember years ago in the chat rooms, I was amazed at the number of young women(19-25) that would say they were looking for guys(40-55). I always thought that was interesting. Hell, they should just go to any VFW lodge and find them right there in their city.

Celisea

August 30th, 2013
10:19 am

Rob – Like I said, outside of folks here, I’ve never talked or interacted virtually. Even to that, some folks ain’t right, so I’m good being booed the old fashioned way :)

Leggs

August 30th, 2013
10:21 am

“People who want to actually meet someone online are the one’s that actually tell the truth about themselves” – that was definitely me, Reio. Current picture, real weight, and honest expectations. I see no reason in embellishing anything about me because if and when we meet, I want you to already see who the real me is through a current, full length picture and my own hair.

Too much BS online and too many men looking for side chicks. However, I had to respect their honesty. When one asked me a very crude question, I knew it was my time to shut everything down and get out in the real world (lol).

Leggs

August 30th, 2013
10:27 am

Robert ~ with a moniker like that “Lester/Molester” the only peopole who will be responding are undercover cops!