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Wait for an inmate?

Pardon the cheesy rhyming title, but I have been watching Orange is the New Black, a new Netflix show about women in prison.  The show features a character who is engaged to be married but then gets sent to prison.  Her boyfriend tells her he will wait on her to get out but he does not realize how hard it will be to do this.

I watched a film called, Middle of Nowhere, that also dealt with this very thing.  How much would you have to put your life on hold waiting on someone to get out of prison? Why would anyone agree to this type of commitment?

I don’t know how devoted I could be.  I guess this means I am not your ride or die kind of chick!  Would you wait for an inmate?  What if the jail time was less than 5 years?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

372 comments Add your comment

Lee

August 28th, 2013
7:12 am

Would you wait for an inmate? NO! What if the jail time was less than 5 years? NO! 5 years is a big chunk of time that you can never get back. Really one year is a long time to put your life on hold. Never make promises that you will be unable to keep!

Now if we were married depending upon what happened i would wait or be getting divorced.

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
7:15 am

Hello all

I almost beat you LEE

OT ROTFLMAO

Miss Moni

August 28th, 2013
7:31 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Would I wait for an inmate? Absolutely NOT, end of story!!!

Button

August 28th, 2013
8:09 am

Wait for an inmate? HEYAL NO!
you have to be a special kind of person to do something like that and I’m not that special.
I’m aware there are many kinds of crime that can lead to prison time outside of hard core crime like …perjury, with holding evidence , white collar crime, et al but for me I would have to say bye bye bye baby and don’t drop the soap.

Good morning!

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
8:16 am

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
8:28 am

And this one goes out to Disco, (50 Cent 21 Questions)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDMhlvbOFaM

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
8:37 am

Good morning everyone! It really depends on the relationship. Quite honestly if I were the inmate I would not expect a man to wait on me. If he does great but really a guy not sleeping with anyone else for years at a time? I know I’m worth the wait but let’s be real with ourselves for JUST a second…..

If I were on the other end I really think I can do it. I have had a friend that was in jail and I was there for him the whole time. In fact I was the only one besides his family members that was there for him. I sent him huge cards for valentine’s day, money on the shared pennytalk phone acct etc etc etc. If we would have been together when he went in I would have waited for him. But we linked back up after he was already in.

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
8:39 am

Let me add my friend is the ONLY guy that I would wait for because I know him and he’s the type of guy worth waiting for. Everyone else, holla at me when you out and let’s see what’s up if I’m available. If I’m married I’m going to grin and bear it as long as I can. Hopefully I can last the whole term….

Into the Light

August 28th, 2013
8:47 am

Morning, all.

It really depends on the relationship and what he was going in for and how long he was going in. If we are really in love and he’s only going to be gone a short time, then yeah, I would probably wait.

Bluzgirl

August 28th, 2013
9:09 am

Morning!

I’m with ITL – it’s a big depends. I’ve already been with one criminal and hope to never get involved with another!!!

By the way…Orange is the New Black is a great show!

A Good Thing

August 28th, 2013
9:12 am

I would have to say no. I don’t do long distance relationships period and you can’t get more long distance than jail/prison.

Leggs

August 28th, 2013
9:14 am

“Why would anyone agree to this type of commitment?” – Is this a trick question? Because love makes us do crazy things!

To be honest, if I went to jail I wouldn’t trust my man to wait. No siree Bob.

Good morning!

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
9:16 am

@Leggs Good morning. I’m with you!

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
9:17 am

Morning All!

I don’t think I would wait for an inmate. Now, if we were married and he was protecting our family and that led to jail time, then that would be another story. If you were just a criminal, you are on your own; less than five years or not.

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:24 am

good morning. we got ourselves a fun topic. lol.

at first glance one would likely be quick to say heck no I’m not waiting but I’d have to be real and say it depends on the circumstances. how close we were already. what he got locked up for. it’s just a situational thing. get locked up for hustling. shame on you. get locked up because you walked in on someone disrespecting your momma and you messed around and caught a case. well, I can respect that.

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:26 am

lee – re one year is a long time to put your life on hold. I get it. it is a long time. on the flip, folks will tell you all the time they put their lives on hold for their children or their career or whatever. putting your life on hold is a choice. if that’s what you choose to do, have at it.

single – stop it. you know I love me some 50 cent. umm ummm ummmmmm. lol.

yes – waiting and waiting faithfully are two different things.

Reio

August 28th, 2013
9:30 am

Morning all!

Well, I seem to get the feeling that this question is directed more towards women than men. Although a man could be faced with the same problem as well. Especially in the case of white collar crimes. If she was sent up the river for embezzlement or tax fraud….perhaps there would be more thought on my part to waiting. What does waiting mean? Wait and enter into NO relationships? Wait by entering into relationships with the understanding that you will take them back when they get out? Wait by dating others but being celibate? Wait by entering into only physical relationships?…..Don’t know. I do know, however, that I wouldn’t wait at all. Get sent to the big house?, and I’m gone. Same day. Sorry. Cause even if your punishment is only, let’s say 24 months, you’ll still have a criminal record, which could prove problematic for us both down the line. A record follows you everywhere. Your earning power in deminished…..

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
9:35 am

Reio, why would you say it’s directed toward women, these days with the ride or die chicks. Some will catch a case for their men. While I aint waiting, there have been some that have done it.

2CPTG©

August 28th, 2013
9:35 am

Enter your comments here

2CPTG©

August 28th, 2013
9:38 am

Morning….

so none of y’all ain’t signing up to be prison pen pals?

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:38 am

single – let’s not forget the soccer moms who are catching cases for things like their prescription drug addictions. now granted, more often than not they can agree to get help and avoid prison time but some of them do actually have to serve time. so now we’re talking (typically of course) the married stay at home mom with school aged kids doing time. men, as husbands, do you stand by your wife (wait for her) in a situation like this?

Reio

August 28th, 2013
9:41 am

Single and Happy – Yes, there are women who would do anything for their men. I see the question being more directed towards women because men tend to be the overwhelming majority of convicts. It has never been the case that women suspects and convicts outnumbered men. The percentages aren’t even close. Seems like I read somewhere that 80% or more convicts and ex-cons are male.

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
9:43 am

@2C been there done that for a friend. It takes a lot of effort to keep buying stamps and actually writing letters. Who buys stamps anymore????

GlammourGirl

August 28th, 2013
9:44 am

Single…I have a cousin that took a charge for her man. Her married boyfriend. I doubt he waited faithfully, but when she was released they got married and are still together now.

Reio

August 28th, 2013
9:45 am

disco – If she is my wife, before getting sent to the big house, I guess I’ll wait. Although the amount of time she gets sent up for will play a significant role in my decision. I will say this though; No matter what my decision is, I;m going out and hump enery woman I can get my hands, legs, feet, arms….on! Heheheh…

Leggs

August 28th, 2013
9:45 am

I have a friend who met her husband in jail. We went with his brother to visit him and they hit it off. She waited for him foresaking all others. Would get up 3 in the morn to take a bus to visit him with curlers in her head. Of course she took them out before arriving (lol). They’ve been married 25 years. It worked for her.

Leggs

August 28th, 2013
9:47 am

YSIC ~ I keep a 20pk of stamps in my checkbook case (lol).

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:48 am

reio – personally I know plenty of women who’ve done time both county and state. granted I’m sure I do know more men who’ve done time just saying I know plenty of women who did their “bids” – lol. I don’t think I know any women who did fed time though. hmmm.

yes – I still buy stamps. lol.

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
9:48 am

Disco, Umm no, cause I done told yo a$$ to go get some help for that.

reio, times they are a changing.

I told my sons the same thing my mom told me, if you go to jail I aint getting you out. I aint coming to visit, I aint putting anything on the books for you, and I aint sending you no letters. Not doing it for anybody, even though many don’t agree, but it’s easier to stay out than it is to get in. Granted you’re going to have the messed up cases every now and then, but that’s the system, and no system will ever be perfect.

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:51 am

single – just tossing a situation out there. I hear where you are coming from and I’ve pretty much uttered the same words but I also understand that things happen. just about any of us are only a humbug away from going to jail. it might just be an overnight but jail is jail.

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
9:53 am

Speaking of stamps, I needed to mail a letter a few months ago, and had to go buy some 1 cent stamps to go with my stamps, I still had some 34 cent stamps (LOL)

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
9:54 am

Leggs- I carry stamps too, lol.

Disco- I’m sorry, I am NOT taking a case for no man. He can do his own time. Nope! Can’t do it! I’m going to jail for you and you are out free running around? Heyall no!

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
9:56 am

Disco, why you say a humbug?

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
9:57 am

“It’s easier to stay out than it is to get in.” I used to think so, but there are some crazy cases out there. My girlfriend spent the weekend in jail because she forgot to pay a speeding ticket and they put out a bench warrant.

disco

August 28th, 2013
9:58 am

atl – LOL. okay. I hear you. I wasn’t suggesting you take a case for anyone. lol. still, I’ve known it to happen. I know a chick who took the rap for her son. her reasoning being that the actual crime really was an accident and that she’d done time before and figured she could do it easier than he could. I was just like whoa on that one. to each his own though.

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
9:58 am

Also, my stylist went to jail for a ticket she paid and the county “mistakenly” failed to register the payment. Her daughter had to find the receipt and take it down the next day, so she spent the night in jail.

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
10:00 am

Disco- Sorry, I thought that’s what you were saying. Lol. Okay, she took a case for her son because she had done time before? WOW! :shock:

disco

August 28th, 2013
10:01 am

single – humbug ain’t self explanatory? I thought we were tracking? lol.

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
10:03 am

@Leggs I used to carry stamps in my purse/checkbook too. But that was when I was writing letters. I rarely need to mail anything and even if I do, it’s never a letter, and I just go to FedEx since I have a discount with them.

@sh you’re doing better than me. I don’t think I have any stamps at all.

disco

August 28th, 2013
10:03 am

atl – there was an accident involving a kid (essentially the kid fell and hit it’s head). it was determined that the child fell because it was neglected (you know how that can go). so it was essentially a child abuse case. the son had never been in trouble, the mother had been in and out of prison. she figured her son would catch heck in prison on a child abuse charge so she took it.

Leggs

August 28th, 2013
10:04 am

I was almost stripped search after appearing in court to pay a ticket. When they called me to the back, I was petrified. I remember wanting to jump out the window I cowered myself next to. I was so very thankful when the arresting officer wouldn’t do it because I didn’t meet the height measurements on the warrant…whew! My then dumbarse sister-in-law stole one of my checks and bounced it!

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
10:05 am

@disco wow…I don’t even know how I would have handled that if it were my son. I can totally understand why she did what she did.

YesSheIsCute

August 28th, 2013
10:06 am

@Leggs omg!!! How awful!

disco

August 28th, 2013
10:08 am

yes – not only do I keep postage stamps but I still have some paper food stamps. lol.

Single and Happy

August 28th, 2013
10:09 am

MsAtl, how you forget to pay a speeding ticket, you get the ticket, you pay it, That’s just an excuse. years ago, I started keeping my receipts with me, just like your stylist, heard about that happening to to many people. Also decided to stop getting tickets, got tired of giving them mofos my money (LOL) Plus I know how sorry the people are I work with, and they are no different anywhere else.

Disco, we track on most things, but not that one.

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
10:09 am

Leggs- You lucked out girlie! That is one of the things that keeps me in line in court. I tell you, sometimes you just want to go off on the judge but the thought of those silver bracelets with the link in the middle? No thanks.

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
10:11 am

Single- Apparently she put it up until pay day, paid her bills, and forgot about the ticket since it is not something one would ordinarily have in their bill stack. The one ticket I got in life was paid the second I was allowed to pay it.

MsAtl

August 28th, 2013
10:16 am

Disco- No you do NOT have paper food stamps! Lol. Do you also have the little plastic colorful coins?

Leggs

August 28th, 2013
10:19 am

MsAtl ~ I certainly lucked out. Also, I was glad I had sneakers on that day which is rare for me. I’m always in heels. She even had the white gloves out…can I tell you when I got home and got in touch with my sister-in-law, I ripped her a new a$$hole!

Into the Light

August 28th, 2013
10:30 am

I still carry stamps. Only use one a month, so I buy the Forever kind.

My daddy gave me the “don’t ever call here if you get locked up speech.” I was pretty sure he was serious, so I never wanted to test him.