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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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A wedlease? Yes. It is a thing

We live in a world where someone thinks wedleases should exist.  The lawyer who wrote about this is clearly finding new ways to deal with our high divorce rate: You can take a lease out on a marriage with terms and agreements that you feel “comfortable” with and you sign on the dotted line.

Here’s how a marital lease could work: Two people commit themselves to marriage for a period of years — one year, five years, 10 years, whatever term suits them. The marital lease could be renewed at the end of the term however many times a couple likes. It could end up lasting a lifetime if the relationship is good and worth continuing. But if the relationship is bad, the couple could go their separate ways at the end of the term. The messiness of divorce is avoided and the end can be as simple as vacating a rental unit.

I don’t know why this idea bothers me so much.  I guess it is yet another way we want to make marriage less risky and more practical.  I can appreciate practicality, I really can.  I just think we are getting a little to creative instead of taking the time to select the best partner.

Isn’t that what it all boils down to?  If you are so terrified of marrying the wrong person and losing all your material possessions, maybe just don’t PROPOSE.  Why come up with some legal spin to make marriage risk averse with some kind of safety net.  It’s MARRIAGE. That’s the point, isn’t it?

What do you think of wedleases?  Would you agree to sign one? What kind of terms would you ask your partner to agree to?

Is there really a difference between this and prenups?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

176 comments Add your comment

Lee

August 19th, 2013
6:49 am

We live in a crazy world — between con-artist, gold diggers, and that show ” who the beep did i marry” has far too many episodes — it might not be a bad idea.

This is just wrong that we all have to get up and go to work, i believe we all need a three day weekend every week.

Monday Blues…..

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
7:20 am

Hello all

Ahhh what a wonderful day :-)

This is a easy one, if you don’t like it, don’t sign it ‘-D

Exiled

August 19th, 2013
8:00 am

Its def good for the lawyers pockets!

..ofcourse the lame “next fad” hoggers will be the suckers…..

and the beat goes on!

Howdie MIA…

did it rain on any of u ladies this weekend? he he he… any cobweb cleaning etc and what not? :lol:

enjoy ur monday!

Button

August 19th, 2013
8:20 am

What an UNbrillant idea! who would think of something so crazy as this? Haven’t marriage been debased enough? Marriage is not the problem, it’s people who chose to marry without thinking clearly before getting into it. Well this just upset my whole day (tears) :(

prenups, no contest divorce and now this, there is no difference, why even get married?

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
8:33 am

Button, what’s wrong with a no contest divorce?

Hazel

August 19th, 2013
8:36 am

A bunch of bull. This adds to yet another reason for someone to not take marriage seriously. Marriage is becoming obsolete because of thinkers like this.
We need to have more articles on why marriage is good and why it needs to be a life long commitment

Mrs. SexyCool

August 19th, 2013
8:38 am

A “wedlease” is not a marriage, it’s a contract, a partnership agreement, a “personal” business contract. And these have been going on for ages – arranged marriages, marriages for citizenship, beard marriages….and so on.

None of these are real marriages either. I don’t think it does anything to taint the sanctity of marriage for those that believe in marriage – if that makes any sense.

Button

August 19th, 2013
8:44 am

Single – I was just on a roll this morning, just throwing names out there. I don’t know much about no contest/no fault divorce but it just sounds like an easy out process.

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
8:48 am

Mrs. Sexy, that makes sense

button, no contest just means two grown people agree how to split everything with out involving lawyers.

disco

August 19th, 2013
8:49 am

good morning. hey, whatever works for people in their marriage works for me outside of it. the marriage lease thing is really no more than breaking it down for them a little bit at a time. lifetime sounds intimidating (as it well should). if 1, 2, 5, 10 year increments are easier to swallow then I say have at it.

re selecting the best partner. that’s a joke. even if you select the person that you feel is the best there’s really no way of know that they really were the best. it’s sort of like those dime a dozen t-shirts declaring someone is the world’s best mother, father, cook, teacher, whatever.

disco

August 19th, 2013
8:51 am

SC – I agree with you. it is what it is. if it doesn’t affect you, don’t worry about it. have your “traditional” marriage and let the next couple have theirs.

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
8:55 am

Disco, have you ever noticed that the same people that say a couple are made for each other are the same ones who can tell you why they didn’t make it (LOL)

Button

August 19th, 2013
8:56 am

Single – is that your definition or what is in the law books?
if it’s from the books, then thanks, I was too lazy to google it.

SlimNu

August 19th, 2013
8:59 am

I can’t say that I’d sign up for this type of arrangement….seems like you’re starting off with a life jacket and a getaway boat before you even leave the dock….

disco

August 19th, 2013
9:04 am

slim – that’s the beauty of it. you’ll have a life jacket and a getaway boat. all those folks that are stepping out on faith – well, some of them will be all right and others will likely drown. lol.

I’ve actually heard the concept before. at one point in time some group was pushing for marriage licenses to have to be renewed periodically. go figure.

SlimNu

August 19th, 2013
9:19 am

disco – Do you think that by having a renewal time frame setup, that it’ll make folks want to work harder to ensure they are renewed….or make folks work less?

disco

August 19th, 2013
9:36 am

slim – I think that like all things it will depend on the people involved. if certain criteria has to be met folks who want to will do what it takes to achieve that criteria. folks who don’t, won’t. some people understand that marriages may entail work. others expect the words “I do” to be magic. ijs, I don’t see the harm in saying let’s see where we are in 3, 5, 10 years. really and truly I believe there are a lot of folks who feel trapped in their marriages who wish they had an easy, non-confrontational, non-judgmental way out.

Exiled

August 19th, 2013
9:42 am

off with a life jacket and a getaway boat before you even leave the dock….

@SlimNu…but is there anything wrong with dat though..when we know,the waters can get rough,u could be be thrwn overboard and may really need that life jacket etc..

its jes like a dude limning the condom down to protect theirselves…..she cld be nice and fresh but who knows,she may be a danger as well….

so a lease marriage with a term on it and the option to renew may not be such a bad idea….and when things get bad..u wait it out untill the lease expiration date..then u all walk ur seperate ways….

But like I said,the lawyers will charge again for the renewal,uncle sam will take a cut and so on….

Its a crafty idea….

MsAtl

August 19th, 2013
9:45 am

Morning All!

I don’t really see the difference between this and a domestic partnership if the purpose is to obtain the benefits of marriage without the long-term commitment. As has been said already, this is a contract. Whatever floats your boat.

Reio

August 19th, 2013
9:52 am

Morning all!

Well, officially, you’re not married. So, all of the official benefits that would accrue to married couples would not apply. I can see men being more for this than women, primarily because, in the event of divorce, it’s the men that get wiped out more often than not. This way they can just walk away. Make the divorce proceedings more equitable and men would be less likely to go this route and perhaps even more likely to consider marriage. Don’t know. This would not be for me , however.

Reio

August 19th, 2013
10:09 am

Throughout my entire life, the only advice I’ve ever received on marriage was, ” Be careful”, “Make sure she’s the right one”, “You’re gonna have to work at it”, “It’s hard”, “Give and take”,……Until, while working part time as a dishwasher in college, a co-worker told me that he was getting divorced and that his advice to any man would be to “not get married at all”. “Ain’t worth it”, “Women are crazy”, “Just hump’em & dump’em”, “They’ll brake you”, “Spend all your money”, “Talk too much”, “Won’t shut up”,….. Anyway, I’ve never had anyone, before him or since him, actually tell me to not get married ever. It was so funny, because he was actually serious when he was saying this.

Reio

August 19th, 2013
10:12 am

Obviously, I did’nt listen to that co-worker, and am very happy I didn’t. Gotta go to another meeting(shjt!!), but will return when I can.

MsAtl

August 19th, 2013
10:13 am

Reio- He was serious because his advice was being filtered through what he was going through at the time…

disco

August 19th, 2013
10:20 am

reio – yeah. I’ve heard many share similar sentiments. it’s falls under the misery loves company rule. we all in this together. lol.

it’s slow so are we ready to change topics yet? I’m waiting on the butler discussion and I watched a movie called something borrowed on tv over the weekend. we’ve discussed that theme time and again on here. (chick stole her best friend’s fiancé)

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
10:27 am

Good morning!!

Whatever floats your boat, but I can see this opening up all kinds of cans of worms. Why not just shack? I mean, if the whole “till death do you part” intimidates you so much, don’t get married!! Personally, this is another one of those things my mom used to tell me where there “are no shortcuts”. You either get in there and deal with the “in sickness and in health” , tough times and good, or just don’t go there at all. Folks always want something for nothing!SMH

But again, find the “right” person by finding someone like-minded, someone who truly sees things the same way you do, who would be willing to give the rental-a-marriage a shot. Have at it!! :)

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
10:30 am

Meant to say “rent-a-marriage”!

Celisea

August 19th, 2013
10:33 am

….and that’s the bad thing about listening to “jaded” folks…lol

“Won’t shut hu” huh? Guess to some it’s the kitchen and the bedroom…only

Exiled

August 19th, 2013
10:40 am

Guess to some it’s the kitchen and the bedroom…only

@Celisea..and the occasional sports bar! :lol:

unless u want ti have kids….without being on the hook financially….celibacy has a strong pull to it.

I think when u get sick though..and u there alone,no kids,no family to rely on,no wife etc…can be a stressful,die alone, untill the garbage man(postman) notices something wrong.. thing…I dont know.

How many of u single ladies still see the pull in a marriage?

show of hands?

disco

August 19th, 2013
10:45 am

ex – depends. what do you mean by “pull”?

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
10:48 am

Just like college, I get that marriage is not for everyone. I would just like to see some respect for everyone’s choice – be it a traditional marriage, remaining single or something in between. Don’t try to stuff your views down someone else’s throat or try to force someone to see things the way you do. I think everyone would be happier – but I guess that would be a perfect word, wouldn’t it??

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
10:49 am

button, that was from the law books.

Single and Happy

August 19th, 2013
10:52 am

Kimmie wake up, you living in dreamland. what would the world be like if we couldn’t judge others (LOL)

Celisea

August 19th, 2013
10:54 am

MMeello – Just like an old “janky” man….tom ’bout sports bar…lolol

Whatever mayne :)

I’m watching Good Times…Cletus don’ robbed the bank and James gon knock him out if he keeps mouthing off…

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
10:59 am

What’s wrong with me today – perfect WORLD!

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
11:00 am

Single – You right! Folks can’t just live and let live – gotta try to tell other folks how to live too!! :( LOL

Celisea

August 19th, 2013
11:03 am

All I know is, I’m not married and no matter what folks are going through or even what they tell me, from their point of view or “side of things”, I don’t know nor office advice or even try to guess who’s right or wrong….aside from the obvious flandering, running around, no good brother…or skeezer of a chick, if she’s doing the same. Those folks don’t want to try or make it work. And IMO, that’s the easy way out.

I just know that marriage is an institution created and ordained by God so, I’on really think he’ll allow for shortcuts or “deals”, etc etc etc so easily…so, as the preacher says, should be entered into with careful consideration. If you ain’t taking on vows as in “for real” and doing dry runs or playing house as in today’s example, you’re kidding yourself if you think you’ll get a glimsp into the real thing.

Celisea

August 19th, 2013
11:08 am

I attended a wedding last weekend…it was absolutely beautiful, just beautiful. Talk about food for days!!! I will say this…you listening MMeello……..I didn’t feel anything…no envy, no wishing, no “dernit”, nada. I did feel joy for a young couple doing the dang thing rather than playing house and stuff. Willing to take the leap and both promising to make and keep God the center, as the hope for making it a lifetime commitment.

Leggs

August 19th, 2013
11:15 am

Upon reading about the wedlease, I immediately felt love was sucked out of the relationship. Love is that element that makes all things more tolerable. It now feels like a connection wasn’t really made between the two and the best way to go is to marry on a trial basis. If that’s a sign of the times, simply do not marry.

Good morning.

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
11:17 am

Cel – I don’t “recommend” marriage, singlehood, shacking, celibacy, etc to anyone. Everyone has to do what feels right for them. I can’t be in their house or their bedroom or kitchen or whatever and be with this other person – they do. I can only do what’s right for me & mine. That’s why I could never get with the “give so-and-so a chance” stufff – they have to be the one to live with this person, not me.

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
11:18 am

I immediately felt love was sucked out of the relationship.

Leggs – That’s the way I felt too.

Leggs

August 19th, 2013
11:26 am

Oh, and another thing re: no contest divorces, they’re cheaper!

Bluzgirl

August 19th, 2013
11:35 am

Morning all!

I’ve heard about this already being a “thing” in other countries. With The Ex, I was willing to do this if it was available in the US. I don’t know why I lowered my wants and needs just for him and his issues. I just know that when I find the man that I’m meant to marry, we will both be on the same page about it…

Side note – Interview at 4:00 today! So nervous. I hate interviews!

Celisea

August 19th, 2013
11:40 am

Kimmie – Exactly….ain’t tryna recommend nothing. I say jump in and find out for self, if you wanna know.

My dern laptop is soooo slow…what’s up with that???

O/T: Dr Oz is getting old. I like some of what he brings, but danggit, if you’re not careful, he’ll have you eating grass and hay…lololol

Button

August 19th, 2013
11:41 am

It’s cheaper to keep her!

did someone say rent-a-marriage!? HA!

Don’t ppl usually go into marriage saying “this will last forever ever ever”? I LOVE being married, one things for sure I didn’t have to feel guitly when I did the nasty,

kimmie

August 19th, 2013
11:42 am

Bluzgirl – I hate interviews too, but try to relax. It’s always better to be interviewing while you already HAVE a job than when you don’t, even if you don’t like it. You’ll rock it though!

Button

August 19th, 2013
11:44 am

Marriage has been dumbed down to what you will get out of it once it’s expired. that’s a low down shame. The auducity of some ppl thinking that way.

Leggs

August 19th, 2013
11:45 am

Anybody see The Butler this weekend? What did you think of it? I enjoyed it. What struck me most, other than the story itself, was the quietness in the theatre. I got a sense that most were reflecting upon their own racially charged encounters growing up. The Woolworth counter scene reminded me when I was spat upon, blocked by a bunch of knuckleheads in the pizza shop, watching my brother fly down the block to cold cock one of the brutes, garbage cans thrown through bedroom window. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the movie, I admired the resolve of Mr. Gaines, and I’m glad I saw it with my child and that she had questions.

MsAtl

August 19th, 2013
11:54 am

Leggs- I went to see The Butler yesterday. Some of the scenes were rather disturbing, but over all it was a good movie. There was laughter, clapping, crying and silence in the theater.

Durty Burd

August 19th, 2013
11:58 am

Good Morning!

This is an excellent idea! The concept of marriage and the words used were made up by man… If you follow GOD’s law then it a different story because it has nothing to do with financing and you getting an opportunity to obtain someone financial gain during the marriage.

GOD so loved the world he gave his only son…If you can love like that and disregard the financial piece then your marriage has an excellent chance of making it till death do u part…

Celisea will be one who will sign a pre-nup…

Ladies what if the roles were reverse you fell in love with a guy who does not have as much material/finance as you would you want him to sign a pre-nup?

Leggs

August 19th, 2013
11:59 am

Same here, MsAtl. The contrast between the Freedom Walkers’ encounter and the state dinner was cleverly spun together. I like Forrest in anything he does. He’s a consummate actor!