accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Breakup blues?

Dealing with a break up can be frustrating.  Once a relationship has ended, you may start to wish that you owned a time machine that could move you to the future where you are completely over it.  Unfortunately, we have to go through it at some point.  It is strange how some people appear to be so resilient to break ups and others struggle with it.

What is the best way to get over a break up?  I believe it helps a lot when you avoid contact with your ex for a while.  Your break up blues will never go away if you are still having sex, arguments, or emotional conversations with the person.   I know it is hard to just lift a person right out of your life when they have been such a huge part of your life for a long time.  You need that time to gain perspective and learn the lessons that you need to about what happened and why.

Have you ever had a hard time getting over a break up?  What did you do to move on? What happens when your ex refuses to let you move forward? How do you handle it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

212 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

August 8th, 2013
8:12 am

Hey everyone

For me time heals all wounds, then you move on!

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
8:38 am

GooooooD Morning!

Single the fellas will run this camp today….

I have been guilty of prolonging the break-up by continuing to talk with the ex’s and have sex with the ex’s. I have a totally different mindset now I keep it moving now!

Ladies if you are my SO you are obligated to sex me any kind of way, sense I am spending mucho dinero on you……lol

2CPTG™

August 8th, 2013
9:11 am

Have you ever had a hard time getting over a break up? What did you do to move on? What happens when your ex refuses to let you move forward? How do you handle it?

gimme a sec, and I’ll tell ya.

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
9:14 am

“…if you are my SO you are obligated to sex me any kind of way” – I’ll sex you with a brick upside your head. Bet you reach an automatic orgasim.

Breakup blues. I’ll lick my wounds in private. Take time to heal, reassess things going forward. I do not believe in getting under someone to help the healing process. When I feel I’m healed, I’ll get back in the market.

Good, good morning!

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
9:14 am

Morning All!

First- Single & Durty, y’all are gonna cut up today, aren’t y’all?

I believe that time and space is necessary to get over a break up.
Unfortunately, when I ended my marriage, we still had to communicate because we still had a minor child. My ex was particularly nasty because I put him out and would not let him come back. While I was not really mourning losing him (because I was just done!), I was mourning the end of the fantasy, so to speak. Two years later, he still asks his aunt if I talk to her about him and gets mad when she tells him no. He is remarried with 2 more children, so the only reason he is mad is because he told me I would never leave him.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2013
9:16 am

Morning,

Got new computers at work and trying to figure it all out. Check in later gators…

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
9:17 am

Leggs- I am cracking up over your brick comment. And I agree with your second paragraph. Quite a few folks say the best way to get over someone is to get with someone else. No thanks. I don’t see where that helps the healing process either.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 8th, 2013
9:24 am

Leggs- I am cracking up over your brick comment. And I agree with your second paragraph.

Me to :lol: Especially the “automatic orgasm”..classic.
In line with the second paragraph, It’s the same process for me as well. I may discuss it with one of my really good BFFs but the rest of it I do alone. I reflect, cry if I want/need,reassess and lay low until I’m ready to date again. No need to rush anything…

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
9:25 am

Time heals wounds, as well as keeping yourself busy in positive ways. Also, no contact (if no kids are involved) is the best policy. When The Ex and I broke up, I made a pact with a friend that instead of texting him, I would text her whatever it was that I wanted to say to him. It helped me to get it out, but to not actually say it to him and make things harder for me. It was the most painful breakup I’ve been through and I spent a lot of time with friends and family to help.

My friend with the psycho ex refuses to just stop communicating with him. She is with someone else and is over the ex. He won’t stop trying to get back with her. It’s been since Christmas and I have told her a few times that it would be best to cut off all contact for a while because it wasn’t healthy for him and he wouldn’t be able to move on.

Now, the ex who is now deceased…when we broke up, we tried to be friends right away and I couldn’t handle it. I told him that I would just need time to get over the feelings. It took me about 6 months and then I was good to talk to him and see him without the feelings. We were better as close friends anyway.

Oh…morning by the way!

2CPTG©

August 8th, 2013
9:25 am

Morning…..

Quite a few folks say the best way to get over someone is to get with someone else. No thanks. I don’t see where that helps the healing process either.

takes your mind off the other person….

kimmie

August 8th, 2013
9:26 am

Morning All!!

Time & Space, definitly space most importantly!! None of this “we can be friends ish”!!! No you cannot!!! Maybe after a few years have passed, and usually by then, you won’t even want to.

Cut it off cold turkey! Only deal if you have kids together. Otherwise keep it moving, period point blank. I mean, is the schex really worth the drama that goes along with it? Dudes, don’t answer that!LOL!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
9:32 am

Have you ever had a hard time getting over a break up? For sure!

What did you do to move on? I lost my appetite and will to even want to go to work. I wallowed for a minute, shook myself off and moved on. What else can you do? Time is the salve for the wounded heart.

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
9:33 am

Well my remedy for healing after a break-up is to get with Leggs and sex her up….Can you wear the catsuit with red pumps…..My oh My! :wink: I’ve never had a brick Orgasm…hmmm I might need to try that!

I luv to rebound, be it being the rebound guy or finding Leggs to rebound on, over,sideway, upside down, inside out. heheheheehe!

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
9:34 am

Leggs in the words of the bougie Mrs. Kimmie you will miss me with that brick….Do you want your drink shaken but not stirred? hehehehe!

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
9:41 am

When I was 21 and my fiancé and I broke up, I went buck wild. With the last two serious relationships, I gave myself a certain amount of time to be celibate so that I wouldn’t do that again. Sleeping with another person only helps temporarily.

kimmie

August 8th, 2013
9:41 am

kimmie

August 8th, 2013
9:44 am

I tried that “getting under someone else” thing one time & it did not work for me. It didn’t help that dude was nowhere as good as the ex was. Plus I just felt cold. I did better just shutting that down and keeping busy. A new hairdo & a few drinks helps too!LOL!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
9:44 am

Bluz ~ when I saw the topic I instantly thought of you because of your breakup. You’ve come a long way, chica!

“takes your mind off the other person….” – not necessarily. Many think of others while sexing! Some stroke harder thinking of the other. Let’s keep it real.

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
9:52 am

Leggs – Thank God I’ve come a long way!!! I sure needed to! :-)

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
9:56 am

I be stroking, stroke it to the left, stroke it to the right,

Serious although it would hurt me and not help with my healing process, I would have incredibly wide break-up blues rebound sex with BluzGirl….. lol

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
9:57 am

Durty ~ remember, my sister throw knives, I swing with razors. Well, I used to, but my aim is on point. I won’t miss. :lol: :wink:

Sassy Me ;-)

August 8th, 2013
10:03 am

Leggs you’re on a roll mami :lol:

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
10:04 am

Leggs you read me like a book, I like dangerous women…hehehehehe!

Ladies of the blog I have the break-up blues, the break-up took place last night…This relationship lasted for 1yrand I have spent a lot of money trying to keep it going, but alas I most move forward. I am ending my love affair with the Powerball lottery, she choose 3 other folks over me last night by giving them the money I deserved, I cannot take it anymore, therefore I am ending our 1yr relationship.

Now blog ladies I need your support, I am buying drinks all weekend in hopes of blaming it on the alcohol just in case something sexual goes down, now who wants to join me? lol

disco

August 8th, 2013
10:06 am

good morning.

single – for most, time heals all wounds. for others, medication seems to help some. (I’m joking but I’m not). lol.

leggs – hot damn. bricks this early. woo-hoo!!!!

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
10:07 am

This is not on today’s topic, but definitely on blog topic! I can picture the topic if Diva were to meet this guy at an event. Wow! Just wow!

http://www.marcensign.com/memarketing-and-the-worst-it-was-nice-meeting-you-e-mail-you-will-ever-read/

Diva- what it your take on this?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:10 am

Break’n up blues can get the best of us, the hardest blues to go through is when you believe you’re in a relationship and find out they’re not………….LOL

Good Morning:

disco

August 8th, 2013
10:12 am

durty – where do I sign up for the free drinks part of your post?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:14 am

I see y’all slinging bricks and blades around again. Somebody gone tie those arms down and pull that hair back.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:20 am

Durty that lottery chick will suck you out all your dough, and leave you hungry for more. That’s some real break up blues.

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
10:22 am

“Somebody gone tie those arms down and pull that hair back.” – Now, I’m cracking up.

I think that’s something most women are waiting on (lolololol)!

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
10:24 am

Durty- I’ll take one of those drinks. I guess I was the side piece because I too checked my Powerball ticket this morning and found out that there were several big winners and I got nothing to show for it, lol.

Durty Burd

August 8th, 2013
10:24 am

MsAtl…If WD met that guy, WD would come up with 30 new topics to blog discuss! That was the best e-mail I have read in a long time… lol

Disco if you ever hit the A, free drinks are on me…don’t tell 2CP when you come down he might want to join us…

BK and you know this MANN, I will be tying Leggs up and pulling that hair backkk….hehehehehe

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
10:25 am

Durty – I’m with you. I’m heartbroken that the Powerball chose 3 others over me…we can cry together over drinks! LOL

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
10:26 am

SassyMe ~ if you’re free, going for that lemon drop after work. .

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
10:27 am

Durty- Here is WD’s chance! Think we can convince her?

https://www.facebook.com/ParkAvenueLASEK

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
10:31 am

I need to look up the #s to see if any match the ones in my wallet. Probably just one or two (as usual).

Reio

August 8th, 2013
10:35 am

Morning all!

I’ve broken up with a few over the years. Never bothered me. Just moved on. Used to think that I was missing something. My sisters used to say I was cold, cause “Some of those girls were nice”. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself !” Well, I was never ashamed, nor sad. I had my reasons for giving them the boot. I tended to do it early, that’s what bothered my sisters so much. “You ought to give them a chance”, they would say. But I didn’t. Just moved. Maybe if I had had any experience in being the one getting dumped, perhaps I would not have been so quick to dump others. The best way to get over it, in my opinion, is to move on. Only problem is, for women, it’s a bit more difficult than it it for men. For a multitude of reasons.

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
10:37 am

I’m going to Studio Movie Grill to see the Wolverine tonight with a friend…maybe I’ll get a lemon drop there so I can join you in spirit Leggs!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:37 am

LOL………that’s what y’all want huh

MsAtl don’t take it too bad I’ve been a side piece, and I didn’t sniff not a thing going wrong.

Ready for some football tonight!!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
10:41 am

I can’t open the link or paste it in a new browser. Can someone forward the story to me??

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:41 am

Reio

is quick draw Mcgraw I know some guys like that they don’t take no prisoners. Slay ‘em where they stand………..LOL

Single & Happy

August 8th, 2013
10:41 am

It’s more difficult for women, than men. uh huh. do women have that “if I can’t have you nobody can” attitude?

Disco, those people that need the meds, needed them before the breakups (LOL)

Button

August 8th, 2013
10:43 am

I dealt with a break up blues by taking 3 shots of grey goose straight up! After that bunch it surely took the blues away.

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
10:46 am

Blackfoote- I thought side pieces usually received gifts? Powerball could have at least given me a consolation prize…

Leggs

August 8th, 2013
10:47 am

Haa haaa, sounds good, Bluz. That’s one movie I do not care to see.

kimmie

August 8th, 2013
10:48 am

So we all agree drinks are the way to go when dealing with a break up? Wash away the blues with alcohol?

Sounds good to me!!! :)

Reio

August 8th, 2013
10:50 am

Blackfoot – I meant no harm. You see, my whole mission at the time, even as a young man(20’s), was matrimony, believe it or not. And I could never understand why so many guys would keep a woman around, knowing that they were going to get rid of her at some point. Once, I had a friend, Bo, that told me that he didn’t like his new girlfriend, after 4 dates, but wouldn’t tell her until he found someone else. Thought that was pretty stupid. He should have done the right thing and cut it off as soon as he became convinced that she wasn’t for him, which is what I used to do.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 8th, 2013
10:52 am

MsAtl your gift is that piece of paper you throw in the trash after the numbers been drawn………LOL

Leggs you don’t care for Hugh Jackman I thought all women liked that dude.

Bluzgirl

August 8th, 2013
10:55 am

Leggs – Just sent you the article. I’m not that interested in Wolverine, but my friend got a Groupon and wants to see it, so I’ll be seeing it for free!

MsAtl

August 8th, 2013
10:55 am

Kimmie- I don’t drink much more than usual when dealing with a break up. I usually try to keep busy.