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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

How do you impress a woman?

A very young male reader of the Misadventures in Atlanta Blog wrote in to get some tips on attracting women.  The type of women he is into are brainy, fun, and outgoing.  Unfortunately, he has problems attracting or impressing this type.   He wants to know what impresses women these days?

I can’t speak for all women, so ladies, chime in!  For me, what gets my attention first is how a guy is carrying himself.  Then when I get a glimpse of his vocabulary?  Yes, that impresses me – and really great arms.  The way a guy conducts himself in a social setting can also be impressive.

Gentleman, what impresses you about women?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

203 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

July 23rd, 2013
7:14 am

Hello All

Be yourself, I’m not going out my way to impress anybody. I’m also impressed by a woman who’s herself, therefore for me the first impression is really no impression at all. I don’t start getting impressed until I get to know a person.

Lee

July 23rd, 2013
7:22 am

Single said it, Be yourself.

I have had guys try to impress(being someone who they are not) then after awhile they stop, and then you find out it was never them in the first place –what a let down. You can never keep up appearances for long.

Say what you do and do what you say <—- will get you far.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
8:23 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Be yourself, but I’d like to add to that be your BEST self! Take pride in how you carry yourself and take care of your body. Make sure your hygiene is exceeding the standards.

I say this because I’ve seen too many GROWN men who have jacked up stuff like teeth, that can be taken care of by going to see a dentist. Other things like foot fungus (dark yellow toenails), can be resolved too with a visit to the dermatologist. Keep/get your haircut on point and make sure that your fingernails are CLEAN.

Diva brought up vocabulary and I’m a stickler for that as well. If every other word is a curse word or hip hop slang, then I’m giving you the major side eye! I like an educated, sharp dressed man that smells good!!! If you’re still wearing basketball/football jerseys and you’re NOT on your way to an actual game, then once again major side eye!

Be a man about your business, have something going for yourself. Don’t be the guy who’s 30 plus, with a roommate OR living with his parents and still working on his “rap career” WITHOUT having a legit job!

Exiled

July 23rd, 2013
8:56 am

Unfortunately, he has problems attracting or impressing this type,….

If he is in Atlanta GA,then thats easy.

Assuming he has his foot in the door already and have scheduled a date,understand that Atlanta women like to eat,havent u observed their Big bellies?

…..invite them out to dinner for starters…u get good points there,no question!

Even the brainy,fun outgoing type that dude favors, they luv spending somebody else’ money so u wont go wrong there.(i know Disco is not in Atlanta but there are plenty in her league in the Atl) :lol:

How u can further impress a woman in the A also depends on ur background and education.
The wanna be rappers,saggy pants,corn row type dudes supposedly exude a “swagg” that is really liked by a section of the hood black folks.

If dude likes the hood girls with gol teef,tats allround her body and on tatas,then he shld know how to step to them,”hey shawrty!’..type lingo….roll with it.. :lol: Any semblance of sophistication in the black hood is frowned upon so u just have to know how to coinduct urself with those types.

Dude is “very young” so he may need to troll the very young crowd in the A who are probably still clubbing a lot. There are hood clubs and no so hood clubs so take ur pick!

U try try try again untill u git it right!..There is no better way to learn than try to holla,get spurned,dust urself up,learn from the one that didnt bite and why and change it up with the next one.

Eventually u get it!
good mrning MIA!

MsAtl

July 23rd, 2013
9:07 am

Morning All!

What impresses me about a man is confidence, the way he carries himself and the way handles his business. He doesn’t have to wear a suit and tie every day, but at least have a couple in the closet and know how to wear them. Know how to speak to a lady and practice common courtesy and respect. You can have grown up in the hood, but please don’t BE hood! I am going to need you to have gotten it out of your system.

MissMoni- Your post had me cracking up! I always said if you are sagging your pants and/or “working on a rap career,” keep it moving; I am not interested.

Hazel

July 23rd, 2013
9:15 am

What impresses me is his personality, the way her treats others, cares about others and his career. You can change the way he dresses later on. My husband’s style changed after we got serious, as I helped him get up to date. In the long run, the superficial things will fade away but the bigger things such as the personality, morals and values will stay.

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
9:16 am

g’morning……

this is funny, because for some reason I don’t believe this sh!t….may be true, and it may not be……hell, ain’t but like 8 chics on here, and maybe 5-6 dudes on a good day……and you want these 15 people to give you advice on how to impress a female? how about you chime in, and help us figure YOU out, then we can get a better feel for you, and dispense our advice accordingly…..

DreamsMaterialize

July 23rd, 2013
9:19 am

Morning
Unfortunately, he has problems attracting or impressing this type.
Sounds like a simple misalignment of personality traits. I think he just needs a course correction. Dude said his type was “brainy, fun, and outgoing.” I would assume that the type to impress those women would also be brainy, fun, and outgoing. If he’s having a problem impressing them, then he may be lacking one or more of those qualities. Reevaluate, do an honest self-assessment, identify your strengths, and then pitch your product to those in the market for what you’re selling.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
9:25 am

-MsAtl I was so serious in my post. Diva asked, so I answered very honestly, LOL!!!

MsAtl

July 23rd, 2013
9:32 am

MissMoni- I understand that you were serious; that is why it had me cracking up. When my girlfriends and I talk, they have their lists and when I say some of the things you posted, they just look at me. It’s okay to have a list with buzz words on there, but I need to go deeper than that.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
9:35 am

-MsAtl Exactly! When you first meet a guy, you are actually looking at appearance as well as personality. So when a person says they look at personality ONLY, then personally I don’t comprehend that, LOL!!!

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
9:36 am

I’m curious to know how old this guy is…….late teens, early 20’s……he says he’s a reader/fan of the blog right? shiiiid, tell him to keep reading…..all he has to do is adopt one of the many personas that are on display here:

You’ve got Dreams, the smooth talking, eloquent, educated brother with a nice personality, and sense of humor…

there’s Ex, also articulate, straight to the point, and quick witted…

there’s DuShawn…..b!tch betta have my money!

Single……if ya happy and ya know it, clap ya hands…..

and then there’s me……..rough around the edges, but clean up well…..

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
9:37 am

Morning All!!

Yeah, what Dreams said! ;)

Really though, he should make sure he brings to the table what he’s looking for. Other than what I would call obvious stuff like good hygiene & grooming, reliable car, a job that allows him to support himself & doesn’t still live home with moms – what is he offering? Is he a smart guy that’s outgoing and fun? Does he have a pleasant personality & is he able to hold a decent conversation? A lot of guys are “nice” on paper, but they strike out because they lack personality, confidence. They are just a DUD. Please don’t start blaming it on the women at that point – “they don’t know how to appreciate a nice guy”, “all they want are bad boys”.

I’f he’s got it together, then it should be a matter of putting himself where the brainiacs are. News flash, they are likely not hanging out in bars & clubs. Try bookstores & cafes, special interest groups, community activities, classes.

Good luck!

SlimNu

July 23rd, 2013
9:41 am

Good morning all,

Above all, I like genuine people…and personality, communication skills, manners and sense of humor follow closely behind.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
9:42 am

“it should be a matter of putting himself where the brainiacs are. News flash, they are likely not hanging out in bars & clubs.”

-Kimmie THIS right here, straight truth that some people overlook. Folks should STOP looking for something MEANINGFUL in bars & clubs!

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
9:50 am

Moni – When I graduated from college, I was a “regular” at a few clubs & bars a few days a week. I had fun, but my mom warned it was gonna get old. She was right – after about 2 years of that post college, I divorced myself from that whole scene. Yes, every now and then I’d go hear some music or hit a happy hour with friends, but that was the extent of it. Didn’t miss it either!

I love to people watch, and I see folks out and about at parks exercising, coaching kids, see folks in bookstores & coffee shops, in classes. There is just so much more going on in this vibrant city. If dude has it together, he really should have no problem.

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
9:54 am

2C – That was cute – rough around the edges but clean up well!LOL

Button

July 23rd, 2013
9:59 am

Good morning!

Exiled – good advice to the young reader…I would like to add that the young reader need to know/learn himself first. He may want brainy, outgoing and fun but he also need to be that too, unless he’s looking for someone to bring that out of him since he seems a bit SHY!!!!

2C – I agree, @chimming in to help us figure YOU out, then we can get a better feel for you, and dispense our advice accordingly…..

I like a genuine man. Impress me by being yourself.

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
10:08 am

Exiled – I personally am offended by your stereotyping. I’m banking on the guy having more class & more going for himself than to take your suggestions.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
10:12 am

-Kimmie You made a very good point: “IF dude has it together he really should have no problem.”

We can make assessments and give recommendations but we’re only getting the side of the story that he told to Diva. . .

Button

July 23rd, 2013
10:29 am

Kimmie -what’s wrong with Exile suggestions?

He simply said for dude to try until he get it right and find his niche in dating. All that other stuff he said I just excused him for beinng him. LOL

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
10:33 am

If dude likes the hood girls with gol teef,tats allround her body and on tatas,then he shld know how to step to them,”hey shawrty!’..type lingo….roll with it..

Button – The guy said he liked brainy types. They are likely not gonna go with “hey shawty”.

I hate it because

WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!

If we don’t start expecting it from ourselves, we can’t ask others to expect it!!

DreamsMaterialize

July 23rd, 2013
10:35 am

The type of women he is into are brainy, fun, and outgoing.
Oh, and I’m sure all the fellas already know this, but dude left out a quality. The above statement really reads “The type of women he is into are brainy, fun, and outgoing…and FINE.

disco

July 23rd, 2013
10:37 am

good morning y’all. glad we’re back.

atl – you know you can take the person out the hood but you can’t take the hood out the person. real hood never dies. lol. (me fist pumping and representing for all the hoodrats who have to fake the funk from 9 to 5).

Exiled

July 23rd, 2013
10:37 am

am offended by your stereotyping

@Kimmie…I wonder why?

..there are defintaely sections out there that like to eat,are hood,think being sophisticated is “acting white”, are upwardly mobile etc.

There is everything for everybody in Atlanta. U just have to pick ur spots…go with what u like…

Why wld the truf offend anybody?

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
10:40 am

“(me fist pumping and representing for all the hoodrats who have to fake the funk from 9 to 5).”

I sooo respect your honesty!!!!! that’s whats up!!

disco

July 23rd, 2013
10:41 am

ex – you may or may not be surprised by how many “got it together” people get with “ain’t got two nickels to rub together” people.

2C – ex is articulate??? (no offense ex but some days you are fairly difficult to understand. lol)

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
10:44 am

Hey Disco, glad to read you checking in!!! :-)

disco

July 23rd, 2013
10:47 am

moni – thing is the same folks can likely be found in bars/clubs, bookstores/cafes, church/volunteer spots. I know I’ve been located at all of the above. lol.

I see a lot of folks are operating under the “like attracts like” mantra. personally, I’m on that team but there has to be something to the whole “opposites attract” thing.

MsAtl

July 23rd, 2013
10:47 am

Disco- Interesting. I am wondering what “real hood” is.

Exiled

July 23rd, 2013
10:49 am

@Disco…no offense taken..I roll with it.

I like to sound so african and inarticulate (if not ignant) to keep ur stereotyping alive. :lol:

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
10:51 am

yes, disco, Ex is quite articulate…..been reading his awhile now, so I pretty much know where he’s coming from, it ain’t hard to discern an educated brother……

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
10:59 am

Hey Disco!!

Exiled – It would take all day for me to explain it. You either get it or you don’t.

We are operating on limited info here, but the man said he liked brainy, outgoing & fun, not ghetto or golddigger. I get & know that the city offers something for everyone. I know different segments of the population exist. Why we gotta drag the ghetto card out ALL THE TIME when talking about our people? And who said this dude was AA or looking for an AA woman anyway?

WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!

Button

July 23rd, 2013
11:10 am

Kimmie – The guy said he liked brainy types. They are likely not gonna go with “hey shawty”.—but sometimes they do and have.

the guy said he like brainy types but is HE the breainy type. the brainy type is so ambiguous.

One things for sure, men understand men talk, we may not bc we are emotional.

Button

July 23rd, 2013
11:12 am

disco – heyah! I agree with your 10:47.

OSHH

July 23rd, 2013
11:14 am

I agree that opposites do attract as well as water meeting it’s own level. Attraction is a strange animal.
What impresses me though like many other have mentioned is being authentic and genuinely you, being kind, having a certain brand of humor, not being a follower being somewhat outside the box, humility, being confident but not cocky, having self discipline and not being pressed, not being a man whore when he very well could be, being selfless, honest, considerate and respectful.

Button

July 23rd, 2013
11:15 am

Kimmie – brainy to the guy maybe not be brainy to you. Hopefully this guy will show up and give us more details.

Exiled

July 23rd, 2013
11:16 am

so “hey shawrty” has Kimmie all worked up?

even educated folks use “hey sharwty”…sometimes in jest, sometimes in earnest….

whats the big deal?
most of uall are proly from the hood,then came up…I know i did…

dont get it….

Hood folks exist…we cant hide it..people are going to be people..hood,rich..and some in between..

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
11:21 am

Moni……gal, I just sent you a pic……on one of my chillaxin days…..

hur’rup, and send one back…….

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
11:22 am

Button – Agree with all you said and I get it, just can’t deal with the ghetto bs and why Exiled felt the need to go there with the stereotypes. We have more to offer as a people than that(that’s if he’s looking for an AA woman). Got nothing to do with emotions either.

I hope dude does show up so we can read what we are working with.

Button

July 23rd, 2013
11:26 am

Kimmie – I get your angst.. I do, but we sterotype all day long! All races sterotype, that’s the way the world is. I look at it as him stating the options out there, yes he should’ve used different terms/words but he didn’t. Let’s not scold him for that but embrace that he’s a man and men know men talk. He’s a raw no chaser type dude.

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
11:27 am

Exiled – I know all the ghetto lingo and yeah use it in the appropriate setting. I get hood exists, I’m not stupid. We see it every day. Even if we don’t live in the ghetto, the media makes sure we don’t forget it’s there. No need to bring it to every conversation.

Like I said, you either get it or you don’t.

MissMoni

July 23rd, 2013
11:30 am

-2C Don’t rush me, geesh I’m at work, LOL! I got your pic & just sent you 1.

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
11:30 am

kimmie…..you’re so cute when you get ticked…

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
11:32 am

Button – I get Exiled, I’ve been reading him since I started on this blog. He’s a grown azz man, I’m not scolding him. Every now & then he drops a gem and he instigates ish to get folks riled up. F embracing his mindset though. :lol:

I was not born yesterday, totally get men & the way the world works. Doesn’t mean I gotta accept the BS every damn day, all the time.

2CPTG©

July 23rd, 2013
11:35 am

Moni, you’re a cutie!!!!!

when you gon’ ask me out so you can treat?

kimmie

July 23rd, 2013
11:35 am

2C – Yeah, every now & them my militant side surfaces. I’ve had to have a few come-to-Jesus meetings with some of my employees too. Errbody will be alright though. I know I am. :)

DreamsMaterialize

July 23rd, 2013
11:39 am

kimmie
Come over here sit by me. I have some sophisticated, intellectual conversation for you. Ok let’s begin with ancient Kmt and hermetics. ;-)

Single and Happy

July 23rd, 2013
11:43 am

Exiled

July 23rd, 2013
11:45 am

2C..i see u one step ahead of me….lemme see

@Button…thanx..u like african men? :lol: