accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

A woman’s worth?

I read somewhere that the way a woman’s physical appearance is valued is vastly different from the way a man’s appearance is valued.  We can argue about who has it worse but I wonder if we are really honest about how we deal with our shallow side.  Do we really think that our looks are tied to how other people value us?  Does it matter?

Do you think too much of a woman’s value in society is based on her looks?  She doesn’t have to be kind, smart, or creative,  as long as she has a pretty face and hot body, she can go far.  This is evident in dating, obviously.  Women are visual creatures too but it does seem that wear more forgiving of physical imperfections in our men.

I know some men can argue they are “judged” on appearance but it does not seem to be as severe.  If we all believe that a woman’s worth is in her looks, what does that say about our society?  How does this translate on the dating scene when it comes to who gets asked out on dates and why?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

352 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
7:47 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Do we really think that our looks are tied to how other people value us? I was always taught to take pride in how you look for that is the 1st thing that people see and we all know what they say about 1st impressions. . .

Do you think too much of a woman’s value in society is based on her looks? Yes. Magazine covers, Miss USA Pageants, tv news personalities, music videos. . . Let’s face it America LOVES to see a pretty face & body on just about everything.

As far as women being more forgiving of physical imperfections in men, ummmm not 100% on that one. None of the women I know personally were or are willing to overlook their man’s physical attributes. My rule of thumb is this, I don’t look like a boogerwolf and he shouldn’t look like one either.

SlimNu

July 10th, 2013
8:16 am

Let’s face it America LOVES to see a pretty face & body on just about everything

Yuuuuppppp show ya right!

Morning MissMoni

LeeH1

July 10th, 2013
8:26 am

After the Civil War, when so many young men were killed, the concept of male beauty among women changed. Where before, men missing an arm or leg, blind in one eye, disfigured by warfare or deafened by gunfire, would never have been considered by most women. However, with the lack of single men around, almost any male became attractive to single women.

As that generation passed, women became more concerned with the looks of their men, and reverted back to their judging of men by their appearance.

Face it, if you are short, fat and balding, no matter how good a provider or conversationalist you are, women are going to pass you by. Good looks and broad shoulders are attractive to women. Good brains are not.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
8:32 am

Morning Slim!!!

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
8:35 am

Hello all

Now this is almost a laughable subject. of course looks matter. we are visual creatures when it comes to almost everything.

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
8:37 am

Face it, if you are short, fat and balding, Why you had to go there!! (LOL)

Hazel

July 10th, 2013
8:39 am

Good brains are attractive and Money is attractive. We see gorgeous women in the arms of short, fat and balding men ALL the time.
As far as looks in women, good looking women have it easier. I am not saying that it is OK to have this exist but it does. Personally, my man does not have to look hot but he should be smart. It’s a different story that my husband happens to look like Vin Diesel ; p

“Let’s face it America LOVES to see a pretty face & body on just about everything” Slim Nu

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
8:49 am

I don’t look like a boogerwolf and he shouldn’t look like one either. now how many people will actually admit it if they did!!

We all have different taste when it comes to everything. what looks good to one may be butt ugly to the next. Just like opinions only really matter to the person with them, when it comes to looks, it really only matters to the person with the view.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
8:59 am

-Single You’re right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. . .

-Hazel In the words of Mike Epps, if you’re fat and unattractive, money will definitely help.

Real talk, for me there would HAVE to be a pretty strong physical attraction before it went another further. I can’t force myself to be in a romantic relationship with a man that I don’t find physically attractive.

SlimNu

July 10th, 2013
9:03 am

I can’t force myself to be in a romantic relationship with a man that I don’t find physically attractive

I don’t want to feel like I have to drink a whole bottle of wine just to stomach you being on top of me, let alone IN me….YUCK!

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:04 am

good morning.

moni – I nominate “boogerwolf” as today’s word of the day. lol.

single – are you fat? balding? just asking. lol.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:04 am

-Slim My point EXACTLY, LOL!!!

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:05 am

-Disco YES ma’am, I second that nomination, LMBO!!!

SlimNu

July 10th, 2013
9:06 am

I don’t expect perfection because I’m not….but I just want someone I find attractive for whatever reason. Plus personality is definitely an attractive factor to me ;-)

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:07 am

moni – beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but often ugly is fairly universal. lol.

personally, I’m much bigger on a man’s physique or body type than I am his face. a man with a pretty face has never been high up on my priority list. I mentioned on here that I was called out for liking those “gorilla looking dudes”. smdh. lol. (y’all I’m cracking up this morning).

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:07 am

-Slim I’m also big on personality and intelligence. I’ve known some men to be super FINE, but had a brain full of air, just space cadets. . . Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:08 am

-Disco I would like a handsome face and a nice well maintained physique. I don’t think I’m wanting too much. ;-)

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:09 am

-Disco I was going to ask what about when you go to kiss him, then I remembered that you’re not big on kissing, so his face being ugg wouldn’t bother you as long as his body was banging. . .

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:09 am

Good morning! People are judged by their looks although beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Media is pushing a certian look for us to see as a standard of what they percieve beauty to be. Of course it’s still left up to us to say what we consider beauty and not. As for dating, ppl date who they feel is beautiful in their eye sight whether he be short, fat and balding or tall dark and handsome for a man and for the woman a 36-24-36 –the coke bottle shape/barbie or a cabbage patch kid.

I don’t believe that men are jnot udged as serverly as women, bc women are supposed to be thin, shaply, beautiful long hair, long legs etc etc…That’s why the fashion industry/make-up revenue is in the billions. Plastic surgery to enhance a woman appearance is popping up everywhere. Vanity wins! As for a man, no matter how he looks as long as his pocket is lined then he gets the girl.

SlimNu

July 10th, 2013
9:11 am

disco – I get what you mean about the ‘pretty faced’ men, i’m not really into that either.

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:11 am

Oops, meant — I don’t believe men are judged as severly…..

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
9:12 am

Disco, ugly isn’t universal, because first no one will admit they are ugly, and you see ugly (in our eyes) people that are together every day and swear they’re beautiful, and their mate is also.

Yes I’m short, bald and by societies standards I’m obese, but I will never get to my “ideal” weight because I’m happy just the way I am.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:12 am

Speaking of LOOKS, ladies be sure to get the July issue of Essence magazine. You won’t be disappointed!!! ;-)

2CPTG©

July 10th, 2013
9:13 am

g’morning….

umm yeah….for men, looks do matter, but I concur that women do overlook a lot of imperfections in dudes…..prime example….I’m short (not Kevin Hart short, but I am), and dudes are always asking me, “dawg, how you be pullin’ all them fine ass females?” Yeah, I’m a pretty confident dude, but my personality, and “izm” complements my other imperfections; and them gals love it!

disco, I ain’t no gorilla, but I am a beast!!!!!

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:13 am

moni – don’t get me wrong. I’ll take a handsome face BUT if I have to choose between handsome face and jacked up body or banging body and jacked up face I’m going with the body. you know I like to work in extremes. extremes get you down to the nitty gritty. lol.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:14 am

-2C What exactly is the “izm”???

SlimNu

July 10th, 2013
9:14 am

Button – On the plastic surgery thing, i was amazed at how many folks are doing the booty injections these days. So now there is no telling if something is AU NATURALE or just transplanted fat from another area.

Sometimes I wonder, as I get older, if i’ll begin to take issue with the changes in my body. I can tell you one thing, I was sooooo caught off guard by the gray cooter hair. So I hope I take the rest of the changes well. :shock: :lol:

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:15 am

-Disco LOL at down to the nitty gritty!!! I gotcha.

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:16 am

single – note I said fairly universal. we can probably pick a person (some random celebrity or something) and we’ll all (or mostly) agree that person isn’t too easy to look at. sure, someone somewhere thinks they are all that but that someone is probably exceptional.

single – dag. I knew you owned short. bald and fat is new to me. you do make a lot of money right? lol.

MsAtl

July 10th, 2013
9:17 am

Morning All!

Lol @ boogerwolf; never heard that one before. Motion carried for boogerwolf as the word of the day.
I agree that what is attractive is different to different people. I like a nice looking man, but that can range as wide as from Idris Elba to Boris Kodgoe to Robin Thicke. However, nice to look at doesn’t mean much if you can’t string together a proper sentence or carry a decent conversation.

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:18 am

Single – unattractive people know they are unattractive…..look at all the plastic surgery going on now a days.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:18 am

“However, nice to look at doesn’t mean much if you can’t string together a proper sentence or carry a decent conversation.”

-MsAtl BINGO!!!

DreamsMaterialize

July 10th, 2013
9:20 am

Morning
She doesn’t have to be kind, smart, or creative, as long as she has a pretty face and hot body, she can go far.
This is not what I’ve seen. I’ve worked with women throughout my career, and the ones who advanced the most were the ones who were smart and creative. Sure, they sometimes happened to also be attractive. Actually, many of the attractive ones worked a lot harder than other women because they wanted to prove they weren’t just a pretty face.

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
9:21 am

Disco, I own who I am, and yea I have a lot of money that I spend on ME (LOL). Most women call me cheap, and I like it like that.

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:22 am

SlimNu – LOL @ grey coot@ie hair!

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:23 am

-Disco I suppose that’s why he’s single and happy. . .

-Slim I’m not there and I don’t ever wanna see that kind of hair, LOL!!!

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
9:23 am

Button, those are just vain people. trying to conform to what they see in the magazines.

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:24 am

I’ve NEVER met an attractive man that couldn’t hold a decent conversation.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:25 am

“I’ve NEVER met an attractive man that couldn’t hold a decent conversation.”

-Button Really??? Please tell me WHERE you met these attractive men!!! :-D

2CPTG©

July 10th, 2013
9:26 am

Moni……”Izm” …..is! (sorta like the commercial where they say Droid , does….well, Izm, is!)

it’s one of those things that you can’t define, but you can only descibe…..it’s charisma, personality,charm, wit, intelligence, all rolled into one…..

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
9:26 am

Disco, I never said I was fat, I said by societies standards I’m obese. but we can’t live by societies standards.

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:27 am

-2C Sounds interesting. . .

MsAtl

July 10th, 2013
9:28 am

Button- I have! I am talking about men who “conversate” rather than converse and use there for they’re. Just stand there- don’t speak!

MsAtl

July 10th, 2013
9:30 am

Single- You must mean by WII Fit standards, lol. According to WII, I should lose 30 pounds. Ummm, that would make me smaller than my teen niece and looking like a bobblehead. I do not go by that standard.

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:30 am

single – I hear you. that BMI chart is some bull. lol.

is it too soon for me to insert a random comment?

Button

July 10th, 2013
9:31 am

When I was with my first husband ppl said we looked good together, with my second husband ppl said the samething, now with my fiance’ again ppl are saying the samething. I’m wondering how in the sam hail I look good with 3 different men who looked nothing alike? hmmmmm

MissMoni

July 10th, 2013
9:32 am

-Button It could mean 1) you have good taste in men, 2) you make the both of you look good or 3) all of the above. :-)

-Disco Go for it, I’m sure it will be interesting, LOL!!!

Single & Happy

July 10th, 2013
9:33 am

Just stand there- don’t speak! Was at this hangout one night and this guy was standing at the bar, and all to women were gawking at him, I said just wait till he opens his mouth, oh I was jealous, and a hater. then he had a conversation with someone, and sounded dumb as a rock. they asked how did I know, it was because he hadn’t said more than one word no matter who would try to talk to him. (LOL)

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:34 am

button – an option that moni is too nice to say but I’m not (lol) is that folks could just be saying it to be polite. now, I’m not saying that’s the case just saying some folks say things because they think it’s what they should say.

disco

July 10th, 2013
9:35 am

single – that strong, silent type reels me in often. it’s hit or miss. Nashville dude wasn’t too bright (after all the work I put in – lol). met a guy from hickory nc. he was country as a dozen eggs but otherwise okay.