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Skeptical about marriage?

My friend Erin really likes the guy she has been dating for the last few months.   She has even managed not to freak out when he started making plans for the holidays.   Things are going so well, in fact, he brought up the M word.  Unfortunately, the discussion did not go as she would have wanted.  Erin’s man is anti-marriage.

She says she understood the point he was making about the divorce rate, unhappy married people doing crazy things to each other, etc.  She had her own phase of being skeptical about marriage, truth be told.  When he said that he had no interest in jumping the broom, she was still very disappointed.  He does not seem to have an issue with committing to one person, though.  He is “nestles” quite naturally with her.  He has been consistent and focused on their relationship. He just let her know that marriage is not a priority for him.

What do you do when you are dating someone who is skeptical about getting married.  If you know for sure that it what you want, should you be willing to wait until they come around to the idea?

Have you ever met someone who is a little skeptical about getting married? Did they ever change their mind?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

233 comments Add your comment

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
2:48 pm

kimmie ~ I saw them on GMA this morning and was so pleased to see them.

MissMoni

July 9th, 2013
2:49 pm

-Kimmie I saw them earlier on the news. I’m glad that they are getting back to their new normal.

disco

July 9th, 2013
2:49 pm

leggs – I agree it sounds like pimp talk. I said the company we keep because it sounds like he knows a bunch of fellows willing to pay. birds of a feather and all that. lol.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
2:55 pm

disco ~ I’m really laughing now. Naw baby girl, he doesn’t know a lot of fellows willing to pay. He knows a lot of fellows who know how to make YOU pay (lolololol).

disco

July 9th, 2013
2:57 pm

leggs – shoot. me pay? he need to leave those cats right down there in Atlanta where they at. I don’t want no parts of that.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
2:59 pm

disco ~ I can definitely see you and 2C out on the town trying to outsmart each other!

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:02 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: disco ~ those cats are so smooth, you won’t even realize you opened your wallet until you get home that night retracing steps as to why you’re short $35 (lol).

Robert

July 9th, 2013
3:02 pm

Robert’s Rules On Dating – Skeptical about Marriage?

Top 10

1. “Playa” for life (Man or Woman). Party all the time, day and night.
2. Man findth a Wife, A Good Thing – But does not know what that means.
3. Woman findth a Husband, Mistake – Can’t wait until Man finds her.
4. Too immature for marriage (Man or Woman) – No experience (20-30).
5. Drug and/or alcohol problem (Man or Woman)- Addiction, dependency.
6. No job (Man or Woman) – Provide for basic family needs (food, etc.).
7. Self confidence (Man or Woman) – Lacks confidence, motivation.
8. Dependent (Man or Woman)- Has no money, car or home.
9. Trustworthy (Man or Woman) – Lacks honesty & integrity.
10. Sex Appeal (Man or Woman) – No passion & desire for other person.

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:02 pm

leggs – some imagination you have there. I so can not see that. lol. I might take my chances on a night out with exiled first.

2CPTG©

July 9th, 2013
3:03 pm

disco…..baby-girl, while I admire your “steelo”, and the ice water running through your veins….lemme tell ya a lil secret………..they’ll do it for daddy!

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:03 pm

Seriously, disco. You and 2C are alike in many ways. I can see you two “hanging” out. Not dating, just hanging because real likes real!

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:04 pm

Afternoon, all!

Do what for daddy, 2C?

SlimNu

July 9th, 2013
3:06 pm

OMG, this customer just came into the office and he smells like he slept inside a wet cigar all night. Ewwwww!

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:07 pm

disco ~ I do see it. You guys are alike in a lot of ways. The only reason you may not see it is he’ll probably trump you with every step. I’m serious.

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:08 pm

leggs – oh. I can see hanging out. I cannot see hanging out spending the whole night trying to outsmart one another. can you imagine how exhausting that would be? oh heck naw.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:08 pm

ITL ~ get out the picture. Don’t you see a romance budding (lololol).

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:12 pm

I mean a friendship…

2CPTG©

July 9th, 2013
3:12 pm

Light…..do what, you ask? anything! see, that’s the common misconception alotta y’all have…..with the right “guidance” (and I use that word quite loosely), a woman will stand by her man!!! look at life in general…the King is the most important piece on a chess board, but that bad b*&^ known as the Queen is the most valuable…..a male lion is the king of the jungle….but its the female who does it all…..but that “king” has to have proven himself first……and when that lioness sees whose callin’ the shots….well, “she’ll do it for daddy!”

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:15 pm

leggs – okay. is there something you need to share with the blog? are you tired? going through something? smoking? drinking? eating mushrooms at your desk? budding romance? where that come from? lol.

2C – why do menfolk love the jungle references so much?

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:17 pm

And that 3:12 is exactly what disco has been saying from day one! The one she will listen too.

disco, let me introduce you to 2CPTG. 2C this is disco! Yes that right hand corner is available for your private meet and greet!

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:17 pm

@Leggs: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me. I just got here and am trying to catch up.

@2C: Agreed. Mostly.

SlimNu

July 9th, 2013
3:17 pm

Robert – Why do I picture your house covered in millions of post-it notes with rules on them?

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:19 pm

disco ~ I used the wrong word. Don’t you see I changed it to friendship. I am going through something, and I am tired, drank quite a bit last night, no mushrooms, dug those up from my front yard…had way too many growing there, didn’t have anything to smoke.

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:19 pm

LOL@Slim. Wouldn’t take the big bad wolf a hot second to huff and puff and blow that house down. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:20 pm

Oh, thought you’ve been here, ITL.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:21 pm

BRB, need some ice to eat.

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:21 pm

@Leggs: Unh uh. I was in training all morning and playing catch up. Just got herrrrr. You know I don’t jump in grown folks’ business. I stays in my lane. :wink:

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:22 pm

leggs – just checking. you were veering off to the left there. just making sure you aren’t blogging while under the influence. lol.

no offense 2C but you know this is part of how blog rumors get started.

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:26 pm

How do rumors get started…..started by the jealous people……

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:28 pm

disco ~ yes ma’am I must admit I veered to the left. I’m back…..

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:29 pm

random: don’t ask me why, but for some reason I am craving salmon patties (salmon croquets for you uppity folks).

2CPTG©

July 9th, 2013
3:30 pm

disco, it’s all good, Ma….no offense taken….just dig your style…

as far as the jungle/animal references…..we (humans) are, at our very base element, animals in nature! every species on earth has traits and characteristics of man, yet, none fulfill the complete spectrum…that’s why we are the “perfect” creation…..

and Light, ye’en gotta go nowhere…..

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:31 pm

crunching on ice cubes makes me feel better (lol). I think I’m low on estrogen and high on testosterone. I need to change that around.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:33 pm

ITL ~ laughing cuz I do call them salmon croquettes. You just gave me an idea for dinner tonight. Salmon croquettes and homefries. Thank you cuz I was stuck.

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:35 pm

2C – I get it. I just don’t like the whole “prey” analogy and refuse to feed into that one. then, there’s the whole big, tough strong animal references all the time. men don’t equate themselves to the males in the wild that are whatever the animal version of whipped is. lol. you know, the male species who hatch eggs and tend babies 6 months out the year. the ones who mate and then the females kill them. lol.

kimmie

July 9th, 2013
3:36 pm

Light/Leggs – I grew up saying croquets too, so I’ll take the uppity title!LOL!!

I like mine with some grits though. Dang, have not had that combo in a long time! Now I have the taste in my mouth!!

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:36 pm

@Leggs: I like mine on a biscuit with mustard. YUM YUM! I don’t call them croquets, though the ex used to call them croCHETs. I don’t know why, but every time I made them and he called them that I would giggle.

2CPTG©

July 9th, 2013
3:38 pm

disco…..”men don’t equate themselves to the males in the wild that are whatever the animal version of whipped is. lol. you know, the male species who hatch eggs and tend babies 6 months out the year. the ones who mate and then the females kill them. lol.”

naw….but they exist….matta fact, dind’t you say he was gon’ pick up that CD for you today!

DreamsMaterialize

July 9th, 2013
3:42 pm

naw….but they exist….matta fact, dind’t you say he was gon’ pick up that CD for you today!
Hahaha disco 2C said your boy was a the penguin type.

Ok who’s making salmon croquets? Tell me where to show up.

MsAtl

July 9th, 2013
3:43 pm

Afternoon All!

Just getting on; Can’t go back and read to catch up.
If a person makes it clear that they do not want to get married and you DO want to get married, there is no need to hang around and waste both of your time unless you just want to enjoy spending time with that person at Ms./Mr. right now.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:44 pm

On a biscuit with mustard?? Makes me think of that Salsa commercial with the guy from New York.

Salmon croquets and grits or homefries! I’ve never heard on a biscuit with mustard (lol). Doesn’t make it wrong, just weird to me.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:46 pm

DreamsM ~ yesterday he called them “jellybacks.”

2C ~ he didn’t say he was going to pick it up for her. He said he was going to pick it up today (probably for himself) and she’s free to copy it.

MissMoni

July 9th, 2013
3:47 pm

-Leggs Sounds like a plan coming together, LOL!!!

Into the Light

July 9th, 2013
3:47 pm

I’ve never heard of them with homefries. LOLOL I like them with grits, though. Guess I know what’s for dinner at my house tonight.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:48 pm

or download it.

MissMoni

July 9th, 2013
3:48 pm

-DM Salmon croquets and grits would be right on the money! :-)

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:49 pm

homefries and croquetes go together like a hand in a glove. Try it, w/o the biscuit.

disco

July 9th, 2013
3:49 pm

2C – no. I said he was going to buy the cds today. not buy them for me (maybe at my suggestion but that’s two different things). I’ll just copy them onto my ipod. again, careful. rumors. lol.

dreams – penguin. I almost wanted to laugh out loud for real. he got happy feet. lol.

Leggs

July 9th, 2013
3:50 pm

MissMoni ~ I’m wanting the homefries more than the croquetes.

2CPTG©

July 9th, 2013
3:50 pm

Leggs, quit being picky….she and he both know who that CD is for………