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Date etiquette needs work

If someone would teach a class in dating etiquette, I wonder if anyone would bother to show up.  It seems that some people really don’t know any better, so they continue to subject their dates to poor etiquette on a date.

I know some things seem like common sense, but those are the same behaviors that prevent a second or third date.  I have heard countless people complain about others  texting throughout the date or not focusing on the conversation on a date. What if your dating etiquette needs work?

It’s not even an age thing, either.  Young and mature people can exhibit poor dating etiquette. When you are impolite, rude, or inconsiderate on a date, it’s no  surprise when you can’t manage to get a real connection with anybody.   Can you blame them, though?

I remember a young lady telling me about her date making extremely rude comments to the people at a nearby table.  She said she overlooked that incident, but it wasn’t long before that attitude was directed her.  I believe you should take it as a red flag when someone shows poor taste or impolite behavior in a social setting.

Have you ever been on a date and someone surprised you with their rudeness or impolite behavior? How did you handle it?  What is the best way to deal with a date that has shown they have no dating etiquette?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures In Atlanta

122 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

July 8th, 2013
7:27 am

What is the best way to deal with a date that has shown they have no dating etiquette? that’s easy, don’t date them again.

It’s not just poor dating etiquette, it’s just poor etiquette period. If you can’t be disconnected from the world for what ever reason for a few hours then stay at home. With this internet, (blog) world we live in now, I can see someone being rude to others, because most of us think that our opinions matters, and don’t realize it only matter to us, which unless asked for that’s where it should be kept.

Lee

July 8th, 2013
7:29 am

What is the best way to deal with a date that has shown they have no dating etiquette? Just get up and leave it will not get better. Tried in the past to talk about it… some people do not care….

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
7:57 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Have you ever been on a date and someone surprised you with their rudeness or impolite behavior? No, I haven’t experienced that. However, if I had that would be the last date with that person. I choose not to subject myself to rude behavior from another. When you have a choice ultimately it’s up to you as to whether or not you’re going to continue to deal with that behavior. You can either work with them on their etiquette or leave them alone and move on.

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
8:06 am

Have you ever been on a date and someone surprised you with their rudeness or impolite behavior?

Thank God I haven’t….i’ve been blessed with dating some decent, well-mannered guys.

I must say, after being off for the last 4 days and running amuck for my cousin’s wedding, i’m really not here today. I could’ve used another day or two off to relax but i’m just going to try to make the best of it.

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
8:07 am

-Slim Soooo how was the wedding?

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
8:18 am

MissMoni – The wedding was very nice especially with an open bar :lol: The only thing I’d change is me being in more pics…I was running around helping out so I didn’t get a lot of photo opportunities. Oh and my sister ended up drinking too much and threw up in the bridal suite on the floor. After it was over, we all went back to hotel and partied some more but left the sis in the car to sleep it off. On another note, I was really proud of my niece (the flower girl) at how well she did.

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
8:20 am

Oh and the photo booth was a super cute idea….too bad everyone and their mama kept getting in line to take some. My best friend and i got a few pics in. Whenever the pics printed out, it had the bride & grooms name and wedding date at the bottom…so it was a neat keepsake.

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
8:29 am

-Slim Ooooo, the photo booth is a very cute idea, I like!!! LOL at your sis, I guess she was releasing some stress. . . I was the Maid of Honor in my sister’s wedding last summer and I was running around like a chicken with the head cut off. Those M.O.H. duties are no joke (especially keeping the bride CALM), but it was well worth it. I’m glad you had a good time!!! :-)

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
8:32 am

She was surprisingly calm and didn’t cry.

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
8:36 am

-Slim That’s definitely a big PLUS!!!

Button

July 8th, 2013
8:40 am

Have you ever been on a date and someone surprised you with their rudeness or impolite behavior? yes, he was loud, rude to the waitress (kept talking over her) and kept telling me to try a certian type of food item that I don’t eat. Bad thing about it, he didn’t realise that he was being rude and obnoxious. He kept asking me “what’s the problem”? After what was supposed to be a date, I got in my car and edited his name to DNA and never talked to him again. I was totally surprised by his manners. I knew he was a high sprung guy but I didn’t expect that type of behavior.

Into the Light

July 8th, 2013
8:49 am

Morning, all.

Hope everyone had a lovely, long weekend. Pefect weather for indoor activities. :wink:

@Slim: I bet the wedding was beautiful! Congrats to your fam.

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
8:52 am

ITL – Thanks!

So how was everyone’s weekend? Do anything special other than get soaked in the rain?

MsAtl

July 8th, 2013
8:53 am

Morning All!

Have you ever been on a date and someone surprised you with their rudeness or impolite behavior?
Not yet. If it does happen, he will not get another date. I agree with Single- if people are rude on a date, they are likely rude period and have poor etiquette over all, not just when dating.

DreamsMaterialize

July 8th, 2013
8:54 am

Morning
Etiquette is not absolute. There are many versions of etiquette, and they are always changing. So, what you consider poor etiquette might not be so to someone else. I think the real question is whether their ideas about personal interactions align with yours. If so, then go all in, full steam ahead. If not, then find someone more compatible.

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
9:00 am

-Slim I did a road trip from NC to GA to pick up my daughters. They spent 4 weeks with my Mama, which gave me some much needed quality Me Time, but I was HAPPY to have my babies back home, LOL!!! I surprised them by redecorating their bedroom so they were too EXCITED!!! :-D

Leggs

July 8th, 2013
9:04 am

Roll call – Present.

I don’t recall ever being on a date where he was rude. I’ve been out where someone else’s date was rude by trying to make convo w/me, slip me their number, compliment me in an inappropriate way.

When on a date, I don’t answer my phone (unless it’s my child or mother) and I certainly do not text or answer text. If my family members call and it’s a non-emergency, I will say I will call them back later, but ignoring a call from them is not an option.

SlimNu ~ sounds like you all had fun. Congrats to the flower girl because that’s an important position for a little girl, she’s the first one down the aisle.

Button

July 8th, 2013
9:05 am

Dreams – I disagree- etiquette is etiquette is etiquette— either you have it or you don’t. However, I do agree when you said ‘ personal interactions align with yours.’

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
9:08 am

If I’m on a date, and chic shows that she doesn’t have any home training, then it’s simple, that’ll be the last date! But if she fine, tho………ummmm, we I’ll consider alternative options, just won’t take her out in public anymore, until I’ve schooled her a lil bit……

DreamsMaterialize

July 8th, 2013
9:22 am

Dreams – I disagree- etiquette is etiquette is etiquette
Button Depends on your definition of etiquette. There are several versions of the Book of Etiquette, which are revised and updated every year. So do you mean etiquette in that sense? Are you defining etiquette as those “rules” that are governed by your spiritual/moral/ethical beliefs? Is etiquette to you simply being polite? If etiquette is “acceptable” social behavior, then it necessarily changes as the social dynamics of the times change. Is etiquette the same in America as it is in China? Etiquette in America dictates that you eat with a fork in your left hand and a knife in your right. This wouldn’t apply if you live in a society that eats with chopsticks.

SlimNu

July 8th, 2013
9:28 am

MissMoni – Awww, now that was sweet surprise for your daughters. My mom used to rearrange our rooms and stuff whenever we went off for the summer.

disco

July 8th, 2013
9:31 am

good morning.

date someone like you. goodness knows I’ve witnessed folks who were obviously out with one another and both were totally absorbed in their phones. they don’t mind, I don’t mind. shrugs.

single – amen for folks needing to recognize that the things that matter to them usually only matter them. that extends to opinions, kids, pets, preferences, you name it. lol.

disco

July 8th, 2013
9:34 am

button – re simply not speaking to dude anymore. did it ever occur to you to tell him exactly why you weren’t going to speak to him anymore? granted I know you don’t owe him that. I only ask because more often than not folks who do bad things or don’t meet expectations will say “no one has ever complained”. my argument is that they’ve complained, they just haven’t told you.

disco

July 8th, 2013
9:37 am

dreams – I agree with you re etiquette. my etiquette and your etiquette and the next person’s etiquette may not be the same. I get it.

leggs – the guy who invited me dancing, I gave him my number when I was out with another guy. lol. no shame in my game.

kimmie

July 8th, 2013
9:38 am

Morning All!

I’ve never really had a guy show bad manners on a date. I think that may be due to my selections! They all may have had other issues, but lack of hometraining was not one of them.

The last time the subject of texting/phone calls on a date came up on here, there was much discussion when it came to one’s children or aged parents/sick family members. It was taken as if there was a blanket rule to not take calls or texts on a date. Or that if someone had a problem with such, they were being insecure and unreasonable. To me that’s where “common sense” should kick in. I don’t think any sane, responsible, reasonable person would object to a person responding to a call/text from someone you have a responsibility for. But if it’s not anything pressing and you are focused on text/calling them like you would a buddy, then maybe you should have stayed home and scheduled the date for another time when you are free.

Button

July 8th, 2013
9:39 am

Dreams – I would think Wise’s topic is pertaining to dating etiquette, which to me stands on being polite and couteous. Of course there are many avenues of etiquette such as eating, driving, etc etc but it all boils down to being polite and courteous to others around you. You are required to set a certian standards when in the presence of others. When it comes to eating whether you’re eating with chopsticks or with your fingers, there is a proper way to do it. Btw eating with chopsticks in China is a culture thing not an etiquette thing. I don’t know how to use chopsticks so if I were to dine in China I would ask for a fork and knife just as I do when I eat a restaurant in china town in Chamblee.

Button

July 8th, 2013
9:45 am

disco – I charged that date to the game. Dude knew by the end of the date that it was a miss, that’s why he kept asking me what’s the problem. The way it ended, he knew. lol

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
9:45 am

Thanks Slim! :-)

MissMoni

July 8th, 2013
9:51 am

-Button In reference to chopsticks, I use them whenever I eat Asian food. I usually get a weird look whenever I ask for chopsticks from the waiter/waitress, however I smile and pay them no mind. My facial expression says, yes I know how to use them, LOL!!!

DreamsMaterialize

July 8th, 2013
9:59 am

Btw eating with chopsticks in China is a culture thing not an etiquette thing.
Button Culture and etiquette aren’t mutually exclusive. You could even argue that etiquette is dictated by the socio-cultural norm.

disco

July 8th, 2013
10:00 am

hey kimmie!!!

button – I get it but it’s like men whose stroke game is off. they think they putting it down. probably been using the same moves since they were looking at jet centerfolds and when you act like they ain’t the man they tell you that they never heard any complaints. lol.

disco

July 8th, 2013
10:01 am

dreams – you gone be dropping knowledge all day? taking the blog to school? lol.

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
10:02 am

“Culture and etiquette aren’t mutually exclusive. You could even argue that etiquette is dictated by the socio-cultural norm.”

yep….because if you weren’t “taught”, then how would you know?

Leggs

July 8th, 2013
10:03 am

Ieat with my folk in my right hand because I’m right-handed.

disco ~ no shame since you weren’t out on a “date” with your friend. Just two people hanging out, no busting slop, no slapping bellies together, just friends (lol).

disco

July 8th, 2013
10:06 am

leggs – right. it’s never a date with me. I kind of think it’s always a date in his mind. poor thing. I was kind enough to tell him that I already knew dude and that we were just “catching up”. he didn’t question it. lol.

Button

July 8th, 2013
10:07 am

disco – lol… you’re on to something!

Button

July 8th, 2013
10:09 am

Dreams – no arguement over here, you have your opionon and I have mine. I’ll take polite and courteous everyday.

kimmie

July 8th, 2013
10:11 am

disco

July 8th, 2013
10:15 am

button – I don’t think dreams’ argument is about polite/courteous so much as certain differences that can simply be based on culture or background. for instance, in some cultures one is expected to belch at the table to show appreciation of the meal. it’s the “proper” thing to do. in other cultures folks would call you rude, crude and ignorant for burping at the table.

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
10:20 am

so, Disco, although you say it wasn’t a “date” in your eyes, but to dude it was….so you don’t feel you broke the etiquette rule in conversing with another dude while out with another?

Date, or no Date, if you’re out with someone it’s plain rude to chop it up with another! keep the conversation to a minimum, or simply acknowledge the other cat, and let it be known who you’re with!

Leggs

July 8th, 2013
10:24 am

2C ~ it’s not rude to disco. She’s never on a date, just hanging, shooting the breeze. If a guy catches her eye it’s fair game for her to inquire. BUT, if she didn’t have a conscious she wouldn’t have lied to the other guy saying she gave her number so they can catch up as old friends!!!

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
10:28 am

Leggs, since you’re answering for her, riddle me this? did they drive seaprate cars? did he pay for her entertainment, and or libations? if so, then that’s a date! You can “hang” on your own time, and dime!

Button

July 8th, 2013
10:29 am

disco – I understand, butttttt the topic is on dating etiquette and while I’ve dated in the US then I act according and expect my date to do like wise :wink: now when I visit another country and burping is acceptable and proper etiquette then I’ll burp a loud one lol

yesh disco – @ what 2 said lol

Leggs

July 8th, 2013
10:39 am

2C ~ this is my answer to your riddle. He paid for everything.

disco ~ back to you. Sorry for answering.

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
10:44 am

He paid????? child boo!

and you don’t consider that a date? whatever….but tobe honest, I blame that, on that chump! cause ain’t no way in the world, I’mma wine and dine yo ass, and you say it’s fair game to go holla at some other dude while I’m sittin around lookin like a sucka waitin on the tab! as Diddy would say, b&%$azzness at its finest!

DreamsMaterialize

July 8th, 2013
10:50 am

I blame that, on that chump!
As they would say in The Last Dragon, “Shonuff!!!”

abc

July 8th, 2013
11:08 am

Date or no, if someone’s texting throughout our conversation I’m likely to either tell them to put away their stupid phone, or just walk away. Part of the benefit of such communications as texting is that they needn’t happen in real time — although it seems many people think the opposite.

Durty Burd

July 8th, 2013
11:31 am

Good Morning!

I have yet to experience bad etiquette from a person while on a date..If it happens I think I would go into I am going to hit it and quit it! lol

Note to Durty… How did you miss that MissMoni was home alone…. Darnit hehehehe :)

2CP you will learn that Disco is a playa from DC..She has strong game….

Durty Burd

July 8th, 2013
11:33 am

Note to self…SlimNu sister likes to drink a lot……hmmmmm

When did the ladies start wearing their sleep wear to the gym?

2CPTG©

July 8th, 2013
11:42 am

“2CP you will learn that Disco is a playa from DC..She has strong game….”

Not buying that one, bruh…..she picks those that’ll allow her to run wild with that foolishness….a real cat ain’t going for it…..Woman….”strong game”….somehow my mind can’t grasp that concept….as I stated earlier, only a chump will fall for it…and from I’ve gathered thus far, she appears to be quite proficient in the chump seeking department.