City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for July, 2013

Dating: First date hook-ups

One of our readers would like to get some advice about first date behavior.  Specifically, first date sex: cool or desperate? It has been a really long time since a guy has tried to make a move to the bedroom on the first date.   It is not something  I am comfortable with, personally,  but I wonder what men are thinking when they make a move on the first date?

My friend Jay (31 years old) said that he only considers the first date hook up after he gets some kind of sign that the woman is open to the idea.  He can then decide if he wants to make a move.

What do men think of women who are open to hooking up on the first date?  While a lot of my conservative friends scoff at the idea, I actually know many “first date” brides.   Clearly, some men out there don’t take issue with it!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Relationships: First comes love?

When people make the decision to get into a committed relationship, they probably think the next logical step is falling in love, get married, and then have kids.  This is, after all, what is traditional.  The modern day, non-traditional route people take see to skip the love step and go to marriage, to get to the kids stage.

If you ask a lot of older people why they got married, they will tell you to have a family.  I wonder if this intent to marry gives it a longer chance of survival?  I mean, if you didn’t get married for love, you won’t want to give up when the love goes away, or fades.

Sometimes I wonder if we are divorcing more than our parents because we get married for a fairy tale life that never happens.  Obviously, we want to love the person we marry, but is love enough to make  it last?

What do you think, is love the right reason to get married?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Do friends complicate dating?

You know that saying, “Loose lips sink ships”, right?  Well, this applies to relationSHIPS. There are many of us who have friends that probably make our dating more complicated than it should be.

You have the type that aren’t actually friends at all and don’t want you to be happy.  So they focus on sabotaging your potential relationships.  Then there are the friends that say they are looking out for you and so they point out every single flaw of your suitors.  Why do we let our friends complicate something that can already be a tricky thing to navigate?

Have you ever had a date  or potential relationship ruined by meddling friends? How did you handle it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Suit and Tie required?

Hello Lovelies!

I asked my gal pal Brittany aka Alone in Atlanta to cover an event for me while I was at the beach.   She went and filed this dating scene report, so check out what happened one night in May:

I attended a fabulous singles mixer hosted by Eight at Eight Dinner Club: A dinner club dating service that selects a compatible mix of single people matched by age, interests, and background. Eight at Eight also brought singles to the swanky Buckhead Theater for a singles style coaching event called “Get Your Sexy On”.  The night was about aiding singles in picking the perfect attire for dates! Style Coaches Carmen of Naked Fashion Help and Victor of Victorious Inc. broke down the Dos and Don’ts for both men and women when it comes to selecting ensembles for various outings. Topics ranged from getting fit and grooming for men to ditching the jeans and slipping on a dress for women. The presentation was complete with pictures as well as true stories from singles …

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Dating: Dealing with rejection

Imagine the  generation of kids who competed in games where everyone was a winner.  How do you think they will grow up and deal with being told no?   Dealing with rejection is a part of life and a huge part of dating.  There should be a reasonable amount of resilience if anyone hopes to navigate the dating scene.  Not everyone handles rejection well, though.

I can remember watching a guy attempt to get a woman’s phone number.  When she turned him down he went into a tirade about her looks.  Suddenly her rejection instantly made her some kind of troll that he was fine with a mere 30 seconds earlier.

How do you think most people deal with being told no?   In your experience, when you dump someone or shut them down, do they handle it well?

Do you think giving participation awards, sheltering kids from any kind of rejection is a smart way to teach them about the real world?  What happens when they get that harsh reality check from the opposite sex?

By Wise Diva, …

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Magic Number: Don’t ask, don’t tell

The new relationship is fragile enough without adding extra pressure on it.  For this reason, it when it comes to bringing up your past, you should tread lightly.  Asking about general information is one thing, but asking for an exact number of partners aka your magic number, is a totally different question.

Do you think your date has a right to know the exact number of partners you have had?  Is it a fair question that is necessary to really know?

I can remember my friend Sara was asked her magic number by her new beau.  She trusted him so she gave him all the information he wanted.  He dumped her.  He said it wasn’t because her number bothered him, but she knows that is the real reason.  Why would he ask the question if he wasn’t prepared for the answer?

Do you get asked about your magic number?  Do you think it is fair to ask the question?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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How do you impress a woman?

A very young male reader of the Misadventures in Atlanta Blog wrote in to get some tips on attracting women.  The type of women he is into are brainy, fun, and outgoing.  Unfortunately, he has problems attracting or impressing this type.   He wants to know what impresses women these days?

I can’t speak for all women, so ladies, chime in!  For me, what gets my attention first is how a guy is carrying himself.  Then when I get a glimpse of his vocabulary?  Yes, that impresses me – and really great arms.  The way a guy conducts himself in a social setting can also be impressive.

Gentleman, what impresses you about women?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Love. Cherish. Obey?

An engaged couple is undergoing premarital counseling.  They are at the point where they start to see the reality of marriage, not just the idea of marriage.   The topic of obeying your mate is a sensitive one.   The idea of being a submissive wife isn’t sitting well with the bride-to-be.

I believe the word obey is left out of a lot of vows these days.   I can’t even remember the last time I heard it at a friend’s wedding.  A lot of people thing it is old-fashioned, unnecessary, and patriarchal.

Do we get hung up on obeying our partners?  Do you think that single people  struggle with this because  we are not used to answering to someone else? I think the word obey gets a bad rap, though.   Why do people think that it means you have no say at all?

Would you use obey in your wedding vows?  What if you are a heterosexual couple and only the bride uses obey in her vows?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: If at first you don’t succeed..

First impressions mean a lot.  When you have a first date, I think the only focus should be to have a great time, no expectations, no pressure.   A lot of people push their luck, though, and they try to make a move too soon.  If you see no signs of attraction, why would you go in for the move to have sex?

Attempting to hook up on the first date happens all the time.  The way you both handle it sort of determines how things will unfold after that.   In the words of our modern day poet Jay Z (He dropped the hyphen!), “If at first I don’t succeed, best believe I split” – which is a common reaction.

I know people who claim to want a relationship, yet they will dump someone who isn’t down with the get-down when they are.  Why would you stop pursuing someone because they wouldn’t hook up with you unless that is all you wanted in the first, place?  It’s perplexing and well, annoying.  If people are only interested in no strings attached, why don’t they SAY that upfront?

What …

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Fear you won’t ever marry?

Now that I am firmly sitting in the spinster category, I am starting to get the questions about my panic button.  It is the breaking point all single women reach when they realize they have 2 working ovaries left and they have no husband, therefore, no babies.  Of course, this panic button mainly exists in some people’s imagination, but it is enough to warrant a discussion about what happens if you don’t meet the one.

Call me crazy, but I think what happens if you don’t meet the one is the same thing that happens if you do: life goes on.  I am not one to extoll the virtues of living single forever but I also don’t fear it.  That doesn’t stop people from projecting their fear of dying unmarried and alone on to me though.  It’s kind of hilarious when you think about it, though.  A lot of married people want to be single again, yet many attempt to make single people think they are missing out on a great life.

I have always said that if you are miserable single, you will be …

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