One of our readers “Tom” has asked for the blog for some insight. His girlfriend of two years has a really bad “habit” of picking fights or manufacturing drama in their relationship. At first, he believed she was doing it to get his attention. He tends to travel a lot for work and admits that balancing work and personal life may play a role in their issues.
His main concern is that no matter how much time he makes for her, she finds a way to pick fights with him. She disregards any efforts he makes to compromise and cater to her needs. Instead, she focuses on what he gets wrong.
This all sounds eerily familiar to me because I used to do the same exact thing in a past relationship. I could not accept that I had a great guy who really cared about me so I intentionally tried to derail things from progressing. It’s a really awful defense mechanism and it took me a long time to break from that behavior. Some people really sabotage things in a new relationship because they are not truly ready for anything serious.
Are you guilty of sabotaging relationships? Would you advise Tom to confront his girlfriend on her pattern of behavior?