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Should you crowdsource dates?

I met a young lady the other day who told me that her entire list of suitors were all referrals from friends.  She decided to crowdsource her dates last year when she found herself in a dating dry spell.  Faced with few prospects, she went to all her friends – married and single, and told them that she was interested in meeting someone nice.

I have to say, I was rather impressed at her courage.  The thought of doing this sort of struck fear in my heart.  It’s not that I am picky or anything.  I am just deeply afraid of what kind of guy my family and friends think I should date!

So far, her experiences have been fairly positive ones.  She expected the type of referrals she has had but there were some pleasant surprises.  She was pleased to know that her neighbor was open-minded enough to introduce her to someone with a different ethnic and religious background.

Maybe more single people should crowdsource our dates! It should be less terrifying than online dating, right?  Theoretically speaking, anyway.  Instead of being open to one blind date, would you go big and put out your feelers to everyone you know?

What happened the last time someone you know introduced you to a potential romantic interest?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

340 comments Add your comment

Exiled

June 12th, 2013
6:32 am

If you are Desperate,you take Desperate measures!

Go for it! :lol:

Good Morning MIA

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
7:16 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

I actually agree with Ex this morning, LOL! I’m not a fan of blind dates, so I don’t see myself “crowdsourcing” dates.

Lee

June 12th, 2013
7:27 am

oh boy that can be dangerous, happened twice for me in my late teens– it didn’t go so well –1st one i think i was 18 guy didn’t seem to like me i told my g/f and she stated he really like me — we only went on one date not long after that he was arrested for raping a 8 year old girl he was 20. Second guy was referred by my cousin –this guy was NUTs i told him i didn’t want to see him and he took a tire iron to his own car ( a car he tried to give me). Then he stated GOD changed him, no thank you and thank god you don’t live near me!!!

So after that i would tell friends — NO thanks i can do better on my own, and have.

Getting closer to the weekend yippiee

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
7:37 am

-Lee I can’t help but to LOL at the guy taking a tire iron to his own car. Yeah, thank God you dodged that bullet!!!

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
7:44 am

I never heard of the term crowdsourcing, but after Diva’s explanation, ummm nope! Actually I’m guud…lol In the past, a really long time ago, I’ve had folks to introduce me to someone, but it wasn’t because I went around collecting or soliciting dates.

Exiled said “desperate times”…….lololol I don’t know if I’d call it that, but IMO it is sort of extreme.

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
7:51 am

I agree with Diva, and IMO it’s better than online dating. At least if you have folks to “check for dates” on your behalf, hopefully that places you a leg up as “someone” already knows them. May not ultimately be a good fit, but at least their not a “total” stranger. Their a friend of a friend.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
8:15 am

Hey All

While I don’t do hook ups, and haven’t had a problem with online dating. She has to do what’s best for her, doesn’t make her desperate. People are always networking and asking for recommendations, so this isn’t any different.

Button

June 12th, 2013
8:18 am

Good morning! I’ve never heard of the term crowdsource, now I know. I used to set friends and family up with my guy friends but none of them ever turned into anything. I’d either had my guy friend calling me cussing me out for setting him up with so and so and how crazy she is or my girl calling me up asking me why so and so won’t answer her calls and one of my girls and I got into a spat bc of it. So now when my girls or femalie family member asks me if I have any male friends I can introduce them to I say Nope! I am out of playing miss cupid.

Button

June 12th, 2013
8:22 am

Exiled – you are too funny.

Single – co sign, you have to do what’s right for you and sometimes going thru family/friends can be a winner butttttt, your family/friends could do you some disservice as well esp if they have a grudge against you and set you up with any ol’thing as payback.

SlimNu

June 12th, 2013
8:25 am

There has not been ONE person that I was attracted to or connected with that a friend or family member suggested I talk to. Not a one….

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
8:27 am

Yep button that’s a chance you take.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
8:32 am

Slim you just to picky (LOL)

I have this friend that tried to hook me up with a friend, when she meet me she said I was too short. after that every time this friend started crying about being alone and asking her is she knew anyone she would remind her of me and tell her to suck it up (LOL)

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
8:45 am

-Slim DITTO!!! I too have yet to be attracted to someone that I was introduced to through a friend or family member.

CoolShadow

June 12th, 2013
8:45 am

That’s cool as long she lets people know that her taste extends beyond just a body and pulse. She should be a more targeted about who she asks for referrals. She probably doesn’t want to ask someone who is looking to put their son out of their basement, i.e., transferring their issues over to her.

Willie the Wonka

June 12th, 2013
8:51 am

I’m enjoying the scenery too much for getting set up. I’m not interested in doing anything permanent for now. I’m not giving up on love. Just taking a break.

Bluzgirl

June 12th, 2013
8:57 am

Morning all!

I don’t see a problem with crowdsourcing. I haven’t done it, but I’m not against it. You just never know where you may find the ONE!

Happy Humpday everyone!

Bluzgirl

June 12th, 2013
8:58 am

Wonka – that’s how I’m feeling right now. Enjoying the single life and only living for myself!

Button

June 12th, 2013
8:59 am

One thing I’ve learned about men and giving descriptions @other men- they CAN”T! lol

DreamsMaterialize

June 12th, 2013
9:04 am

Morning
I’ve never heard of “crowdsourcing.” Anyway, I’ve never actively done that. I’ve had a few women try to set me up with some of their friends, but I’ve never been interested. It’s funny how the women a guy will introduce you to are different from the women a chick will introduce you to. Dudes will always tell you “she’s fine”, and women will always hit you with “she’s really nice.” lol

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:12 am

I have yet to met any single person who is genuinly happy and single. Everybody I know who is single is so unhappy @ being single. When I was single I wasn’t happy being single, it sucked but I dealt with it. I didn’t walk around crying or anything like that, it was more internal. I was content but not the most happiest camper internally.

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:13 am

Dreams – the ” she’s really nice” never goes over well. lol instantly you would think ok what’s wrong with her. lol

SlimNu

June 12th, 2013
9:17 am

Single – Why I gotta be all that? lol I never thought of myself as picky but you know that moment when the person shows you the pic of their prospect for you and all you hear are crickets in your head. :lol: Oh but wait, I do recall my cousin wanted me to talk to her coworker once. We all ended up going out for drinks, buddy was attractive but I just didn’t feel a connection to him. He’s the same dude that sometime later ended up getting shot trying to dip out of some girls crib he was messing with. Apparently her man or ex-man didn’t take to kindly to him hitting that. Buddy got shot in the leg. Dayum! I can tell you one thing, there is no D out there I’m willing to take a bullet for. No sireee

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
9:17 am

button, see we’ve never meet. (LOL)

SlimNu

June 12th, 2013
9:19 am

Wonka – How did you end up finding out about your wife’s infidelity? (if you care to share with us)

Oh and Single/Durty/swiss/Ex – before you even think about saying anything, shut up :lol:

disco

June 12th, 2013
9:19 am

good morning.

crowdsourcing is great if you have “reliable” friends. I’ve learned that most of my friends have bad judgment in this department. lol.

moni/ex – I actually don’t think the idea is about desperation. it’s really no different than attending a friend’s event and having them introduce you to someone. in fact, it’s the same thing without the event. lol.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
9:21 am

Slim I’ve done several hook ups, none initiated by me. maybe one of them worked out. I don’t do them any more. so it’s not just you (LOL)

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:22 am

Single – I’m just sayn lol
there were days I was happy @ being single and then there were a lot of days I wasn’t so happy.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
9:22 am

blogsourcing (LOL)

disco

June 12th, 2013
9:23 am

button – I am an excellent matchmaker (said in my rainman voice – lol).

button – men can give fairly good descriptions of other men. you have to read between the lines though. a guy won’t come out and tell you if another guy is cute or handsome or well built. they’ll tell you they don’t look at other men like that BUT they usually will tell you if he is busted or raggedy or whatever. lol.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
9:25 am

button I’m happy everyday, like I stated yesterday, I live and enjoy the things that I have, not feel sad about the things that I don’t have. If someone comes along, that would be great and if someone doesn’t come along that will be great also.

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:26 am

disco – what’s your record? got any receipts?
disco- I’ve heard “he’s a cool dude” or ” he’s aight” lol

Willie the Wonka

June 12th, 2013
9:28 am

@Slim, that’s too much personal information to publicly disclose. Sorry

Bluzgirl

June 12th, 2013
9:29 am

Button – I can’t say I’m always happy with being single, but at the moment, I am happy. I have too much going on my life…too much living to do…I don’t want anyone to come in and distract me from my goals. This is the first time in my life I have ever been content with being single.

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
9:30 am

-Disco Now I look at your example as simply an introduction. There is a difference between introducing someone just for the sake of being polite vs. purposely introducing someone for the sake of wanting them to hit it off.

Hey, if “crowdsourcing” works then have at it. I just prefer for my friends and family to not scout out potential mates without my permission.

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:30 am

Single – exactly, but I had to real with my feelings at the sametime too. I didn’t like dating, never did butttt, I knew that’s what I had to do to meet someone. Don’t get me wrong, I had a ball being single, I did things, travelled and bungee jumped but that’s not what I wanted for myself, to be forever single. I enjoy having my man in my life. Being coupled.

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
9:31 am

So Disco, you’re GOOD at matchmaking??? Do tell!!! :-)

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
9:32 am

Button – I’m not single (not married but booed), but I’ve been single off and on, and I don’t really think you can say all single people are unhappy, based on how it was for you. There are some folks that can genuinely find their place in this world or life and it’s not with a mate. IMO, to say that is broadstroking…

IMO, if you believe life is not living unless you have someone then yeah, that’s what you believe. But if you know how to live and get a bang out of life, you can truly find happiness. I always say you brought nothing in this world and you definitely won’t be taking anything on your way out…IMO, that’s proof that you can live with or without. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being companioned, but it’s not the be all that ends all. Just my opinion though.

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
9:32 am

-Button Do you see yourself married to the current man in your life?

Bluzgirl

June 12th, 2013
9:33 am

disco – You have a point with “reliable” friends! I’m the kind of person who has good intuition in regards to men for my friends, but not men for myself! LOL

DreamsMaterialize

June 12th, 2013
9:33 am

I have yet to met any single person who is genuinly happy and single.
Button I’m very happy. As a matter of fact, I would say that you likely won’t meet that fantastic person until you are happy yourself. If you do meet them in your unhappy state, then that relationship is probably doomed to failure. Nothing worse than being with someone who’s just never happy.

the ” she’s really nice” never goes over well. lol instantly you would think ok what’s wrong with her. lol
Button You already know what I’m talking about. The other thing about the woman hookup is that they always seem to say stuff like “oh you wouldn’t like her.” Sh!t let me be the judge of that. lol

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
9:33 am

“based on how it was OR IS, for you”….I should have said.

Single & Happy

June 12th, 2013
9:33 am

button, everyone is different, since you say you’ve never meet anyone that’s truly happy being single, is that because you weren’t happy so you just can’t see how they could be?

disco

June 12th, 2013
9:33 am

moni – matchmaking is really just introduction. someone else compared it to networking. it’s all the same. meeting people and seeing what happens.

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
9:35 am

-Celisea I definitely agree with you on your 9:32. I’m currently single and have been for the past 3 years and I am loving my life!!!

It’s about your outlook on life, not about basing your happiness on whether or not you have a mate.

MissMoni

June 12th, 2013
9:36 am

-Disco Oh, well in that case my friends and family have not mastered any of that, LOL!!!

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
9:36 am

I don’t want “blind”, don’t do “blind”, not interested in “blind.” There’s too much “unknown” for my taste.

You have to do what works for you though. There are many success stories where somebody hooked somebody up with someon they knew.

Button

June 12th, 2013
9:37 am

Bluzgirl – I too have a lot going on in my life, I have too much going on right now. but at the end of the day I want someone to share that with who actually gives a dayum (lol) about me unselfishly and support me and I support him. Now if he’s a distraction and not in a positive way, then we have a problem.

Celisea

June 12th, 2013
9:38 am

MM – Most definitely. Like I said, I LOVE being booed, but when I’m not, I’m not dragging the floor. Shoot, I found just as much “goodie goodie” in getting out there and doing what I like. I’m not with the “traveling/dining” alone thing, but there are folks that can do it and are equally happy as the couple sitting across from them. Mind you, all that lovey dovey stuff is not present, but for me (and no BSing), everything you do or don’t come down to will and will power…mind over matter. If you think yourself to be happy and content (no matter your lot), then you will be.

disco

June 12th, 2013
9:39 am

the last time I put to friends together went like this. I told both of them about each other and then I had a party and invited both of them. they talked at the party, exchanged numbers and dated for awhile. ultimately drifted apart because she felt he didn’t have enough time to spend with her. I encouraged her to ride it out but she opted out.

disco

June 12th, 2013
9:41 am

what I told her about him: hardworking, mid 30s, no kids, gainfully employed and just launched a start up business on the side. family oriented, goes home (out of town) every year on mother’s day, drives a pick up (everyone needs a friend with a truck – lol), plus I vouched for him being an all around good guy.