City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for June, 2013

Love for the city

My friends at Yelp Atlanta invited me to one of their super fun Forever Yelp Loves Atlanta events this week.  All month long , Yelp Atlanta has been showing the city some love.  I got to check out the Waffle House museum and got some pretty interesting history about the company! Sidebar: Did you know the T-Bone steak was not on the menu originally?  Apparently, Filet Mignon was the first steak but when they ran out one day, they substituted T-Bone – and it was a hit! Also, Chick-Fil-A once sold breakfast items at Waffle House stores.  Can you imagine?

Yelp Atlanta’s  Forever Yelp Loves Atlanta really reminded me about the love I once had for this city.  When I first moved here I was smitten.  Now seeing all the cool things and places Atlanta has to offer, I am glad to say the love for the city has been renewed!

Aside from our crazy, sexy, cool dating scene, what do you love about Atlanta?  What is your favorite place to meet single people?  If you had the entire day …

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Husband or dad qualities?

Dating a single parent when you don’t have children of your own can be tricky.  Some people are not accustomed to adjusting their lives around tiny humans.  My friend Dana said that she was drawn to Rick because he seemed to be such a great Dad.  He was present in the lives of his two daughters and made it clear to her that they were his priority.

When Rick shared with Dana the reasons his marriage ended, she was surprised to hear him talk about what an awful husband he was.  He told her that being a Father to his daughters came more naturally to him then being a husband to his wife.   In other words, the qualities that make him such a great Dad are not necessarily relevant to being a husband.

That is an interesting idea.  I have always thought that if a man was a good father, he would likely make a husband who is loyal, protective, and kind.

Do you think that the husband and father roles are so different? Do you believe the same applies to women? A nurturing and kind …

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Can alpha women be traditional?

As if stealing my man, Orlando Bloom away from me wasn’t bad enough, model Miranda Kerr recently commented about only being an alpha woman at work: “I am quite dominant in my career, so what really works for me when I come home, is to relax more into the feminine side. If you’re really an alpha female, you don’t allow [your partner] to have the space to feel like the man in the relationship. Maybe I am too traditional, but men feel important when you ask for their help, instead of thinking you can do it all on your own.” I find it interesting that a “really” alpha female does not allow her man the space to feel like a man.  Oh, also Alpha women are not feminine, either.   She talks as if her definition of alpha female is not very nuanced.  Why can’t a woman manage to find a balance?  Isn’t that the point? I actually get her point about asking men for help, though.  I watch a lot of women struggle with this for many reasons.  My Mother sets the example for me – she …

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Not your competition

Competition on the dating scene is bad enough. What happens when your date wants to compete with you? I have had a guy tell me that he really hoped I didn’t make more money than he did.  I had another guy get super angry after I beat him in  a game of pool.  Why do you think we sometimes get so competitive with our love interests?

Do you believe we go through phases in dating where we jockey for power?  I ask because competition is about winning, so what is the prize when you compete with the one you like or love?

My friend Brooke is an excellent basketball player but she won’t play with a guy she has just started dating.  In fact, she doesn’t even tell them she can ball like that.  She often reminds me that the male ego is fragile and it is part of a woman’s job to let men know that you are not their competition.

What do you think? Can competing against your date be a sexy way to get to know one another? Is it a recipe for dating disaster?  What has been your …

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Sabotaging your relationship

One of our readers  “Tom” has asked for the blog for some insight.  His girlfriend of two years has a really bad “habit” of picking fights or manufacturing drama in their relationship.  At first, he believed she was doing it to get his attention.  He tends to travel a lot for work and admits that balancing work and personal life may play a role in their issues.

His main concern is that no matter how much time he makes for her, she finds a way to pick fights with him.  She disregards any efforts he makes to compromise and cater to her needs.  Instead, she focuses on what he gets wrong.

This all sounds eerily familiar to me because I used to do the same exact thing in a past relationship.  I could not accept that I had a great guy who really cared about me so I intentionally tried to derail things from progressing.  It’s a really awful defense mechanism and it took me a long time to break from that behavior.  Some people really sabotage things in a new relationship …

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Are friends keeping you single?

I was having a conversation the other day with a woman who was having a conflict with her guy.  He has complained about her intrusive friends since they have become exclusive.  According to him, they are bitter and unhappy women who are trying to sabotage their new relationship.  It is a real challenge when your new guy and your close friends don’t get along.  Eventually you have to make a choice, right?

The young lady admitted that this is not the first time her friends were an issue with her relationship.  I asked her if she ever thought that it was intentional.  Some people truly want their “friends” to stay single because they are.  Should your friends have a say in who you date?  If the person you are dating tells you that your friends are problematic, what do you do?

I know my friend Darren constantly has to play the mediator between his girlfriend and his friends.  They are often pressuring him to engage in his single man behavior, knowing he is in a committed …

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Is your approach is all wrong?

I was riding Marta to the airport and noticed a guy trying to get someone’s phone number.   It was hard to tell at first because his approach was rather odd. He started talking to her about his love language.  No really, he wanted her to know what his love language is.  While I commended him for originality, I wondered if this approach was working for him.  Are there women out there that are impressed if a man start’s randomly quoting love/self-help books?

My friend Lana complains about the way men approach her.   She is in her 20s and believes that men her age don’t know how to talk to women.  They are either incredibly aggressive, wholly inappropriate, or flat out comical.  Whose job is it to teach people how to approach someone on the dating scene?  Apparently, they have epically failed to teach the masses about basic dating etiquette.  Don’t stare at her boobs.  Don’t ask how much money he makes.  You get the idea, right?

Have you ever been approached by …

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Worried about marital sex?

My friend Howard has serious concerns about his sex life after he gets married.  He is convinced that married couples lose interest with one another after the first year.  Of course, he is getting his paranoia reinforced from all his married friends who tell him married sex is boring.

I have heard Howard and many guy friends  express actual anxiety about their sex drives, their physical attraction to their future mates waning, and other issues married men face.   Guess what, though. WOMEN FACE THE SAME ISSUES.

I get so annoyed when men talk as if they are the only one who worries about this kind of thing.  Do men think women can’t or don’t get bored too?  We can’t spend all our time reassuring you about your concerns because we are working through them too.  Why can’t this kind of thing be handled together, though?

I remember asking my newly married friend how she was going to handle it if or when the sex gets stale.  She basically said that she was committed to doing …

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Coming on too strong

You have probably been in this situation before:  You reluctantly give someone your phone number and they immediately make you regret it.  They are eager to get to know you and may start to come on a little too strong.  It doesn’t mean you should cut them off, though.

My friend Lana told me about meeting her husband at Kroger.  He  talked to her from produce aisle to the frozen section.  He also called her every day until she finally relented and went out with him.  On their first date, she was blown away.  Somehow she missed how wonderful and good looking he truly was.  She was too busy dodging his calls!

Do you think that being persistent and coming on a bit strong is a good tactic?  Apparently, it works for some people!  If you like someone but they were coming on too strong, would you let them know to ease up?

How can you tell if you are going overboard in your pursuit?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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What if you are the rebound?

One of the most frustrating misadventures in dating is meeting Mr/Miss Wonderful only to  find out you two have bad timing. Actually, it’s awful when only one of you has bad timing because you are being used as a rebound relationship.

There is no need to panic when faced with this conundrum, though. Technically, we are all someone’s rebound.  This is only a real problem when it is clear that the person you are seeing is still hung up in an emotional or physical tug-of-war with their ex.

Whenever the ex is still in the picture,  a relapse is possible.  One of our readers suspects that her new relationship is a rebound for him.  He slipped up and referred to her using his ex’s name.  Has that ever happened to you? Do you think this means he is not over his ex?

What do you do when you realize you are the rebound?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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