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Dating: Don’t become jaded!

We all go through dating misadventures because we are making the effort to put ourselves out there.  It can be fun but frustrating at the same time.  There really is no other way to find The One without dealing with the Wrong Ones.  So how do we deal with the disappointments of our dating misadventures?

Honestly, some days it is hard! Not slipping into Bitterville and Cynic City can be difficult.  The most important thing to always watch out for is becoming too jaded.  You know, that point where you have nothing but negative reactions to dating.  If you feel a total mistrust of people who are expressing interest in you.  That is when you know you’ve become jaded.   Time to sit on the sidelines for a while to regroup.

How do you deal with the threat of becoming jaded?  Do you ever take a break from dating?  Do you ever get stuck in a dating dry spell? What are good ways to get out of that rut and shake things up?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

262 comments Add your comment

Lee

May 31st, 2013
7:16 am

I am doing this now, no dating not trying and don’t care at this moment. If I did go out with a guy right now and he did something stupid in my book i think i would shove a spoon up his nose just because he p’me off. lol

What am i doing to get out of this hateful behavior is reflecting what My mistakes were, doing stuff just for me, and getting my ducks in a row for thing i have planned for the future.

It Friday!!! :)

Single and Happy

May 31st, 2013
7:16 am

hello All

Life happens and you move on!

Penelope

May 31st, 2013
7:36 am

Hooooowdeee, peepsykins!!

I am never jaded. I am married, maybe that is why :) When I was in the pool, I simply took things in stride, and kept an open clear mind. Can’t sweat the small stuff!!

Y’all be sweet now, ya hear!!

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
7:50 am

Lee..u are in a hateful jade right now.

Now that is dangerous!! All because of Your mistakes?

Oh Bly! :lol:

be careful….

On ummm topic:

Diva says,’dating dry spell’ lol

So it’s app when I say it mockingly,…glad u recognize it uallselves. :lol:

I can only imagine. I think it is akin to hitting a patch of low self confidence because of job loss or unemployment. It may seem like ur umpf has just vanished.

I think everybody just needs to sit back and chill and re-energize the batteries.
And no dating,no fwb set ups,Nothing!

That way,u release All the pentup feelings that you might have about the past dating failures.

Short of that and a plunge back to dating when u have a litany of dating failures,you become a hateful Lee! :lol:

U don’t want to have a case,do you?

Happy Friday folks!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 31st, 2013
8:26 am

Whats good peeps…. I think the best thing to do to keep from being jaded is to make an effort to not take dating do seriously……. Try enjoying the process and not being so hung up on the results…… :)

Hazel

May 31st, 2013
8:36 am

Its Friday!!
Good way to get out of the rut would be to spend time with friends that you forgot when dating, family time and investing in your own self. I remember that I started spending time with my family more when I thought that I needed to walk away from dating. It helped me gather myself up

Button

May 31st, 2013
8:46 am

Good morning!
how do we deal with the disappointments of our dating misadventures? by eating a pint of rocky road ice cream :(

Do you ever take a break from dating? I sure did. when the picking were slim, I took a break, and continue doing me enjoying life.

What are good ways to get out of that rut and shake things up?
Keep your mood up,
get out and enjoy life,
hang out with friends, make new friends, reconnect with old friends,
join single groups
get a hobby
Try new things, expand your horizon.
Be open to dating other race of people.

Reio

May 31st, 2013
8:47 am

I never got jaded. Had a bad habit of cutting women loose too quickly. Then relpace her with someone else. Simple. I knew that there were good and bad out there, so, if I ran into a bad one, I’d send her on her way and go get another one. I became a bit disappointed for a while cause the hand full that I decided to keep around a while, always showed their true colors, which, more often than not, turned out to be someone that I didn’t want to spend time with. But I moved on anyway. The trick for me was to realize that, if I kept at it, a better one would show up. And she did. My wife. Heheheh….

MsAtl

May 31st, 2013
8:51 am

Morning All!

Having not been in the dating arena for long, I am not near the point of being jaded. At this point, I am open to meeting new people, both as dating prospects (men) and as just friends (men & women). In the meantime, I am focusing more on enjoying life and doing things I didn’t get to do during the years I was attached.

Scooby

May 31st, 2013
8:58 am

Don’t like the one u got, throw her back in and get u another. Got no time to be jaded!

hehehehehe

Button

May 31st, 2013
9:04 am

Reio – the fisherman :)

Reio

May 31st, 2013
9:09 am

Becoming jaded was never even a concern of mine. I just went from one to another. Forgot about the last one. Seemed easy for me to do, so, I did. Didn’t care either.

Leggs

May 31st, 2013
9:14 am

Ironic this is the topic.

I see no reason to become jaded. If you are, that only means the people who aren’t treating you the way you want to be treated WINS. Naw, that’s not going to happen. Believe in yourself, take care of yourself, enjoy life and hopefully before you turn to dust the right person will cross your path. Stay positive. That’s my motto. Don’t get me wrong, I too have moments when I say WTF, even recently, but look at it as water down my back baby, water down my back!

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Keep on trucking baby, you gotta keep on….trucking (Eddie Kendricks)

Good morning!

DreamsMaterialize

May 31st, 2013
9:15 am

Morning Everyone
In your pursuit of the destination (whatever that may be for you) you should also enjoy the journey. I enjoy dating. I’ve met a few bad apples along the way, but by far most have been great women. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and I’m ok with that. Life is good.

Hey Reio glad for your positive news man.

Single and Happy

May 31st, 2013
9:16 am

Now Court, you know you can’t just date for the fun of it, you have to have a purpose (matrimony) (LOL)

MsAtl

May 31st, 2013
9:18 am

disco

May 31st, 2013
9:20 am

good morning.

lee – ditto. not dating. haven’t been dating. don’t think too much about dating.

am I jaded? no. I don’t distrust folks that are interested in me. I’m just generally not feeling them.

hazel – re spend time with friends you forgot while dating. hope I’m not that friend. keep on forgetting me. lol.

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
9:32 am

Disco…u jaded…u just front better than most. :lol:

disco

May 31st, 2013
9:32 am

leggs – you did keep on trucking. I’m hearing cece penniston “keep on walking”. you can just go. walk on. keep on. lol.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 31st, 2013
9:35 am

LOLOL @ S/H!! That’s it…. So caught fixated on the results that they mixed the journey…..

disco

May 31st, 2013
9:36 am

ex – don’t you know there ain’t no future in frontin?

Single and Happy

May 31st, 2013
9:42 am

Leggs

May 31st, 2013
9:45 am

“re spend time with friends you forgot while dating. hope I’m not that friend. keep on forgetting me. lol.”

disco ~ I hear ya. Sounds like the friend is only there for you when you don’t have someone to snuggle up with. Friends don’t do that.

Button

May 31st, 2013
9:48 am

Belize Belize I wanna go!

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
9:49 am

@Disco..true but folks front anyway because nobody wants to have their ‘buttocks’ exposed for all to see….

So if dudes ain’t hollering or ‘boyfriends’ never hover around longer than two nutts,a lot of women get angst…but will Never let their true emotions show even to their very close friends. Their disappointment manifests itself in so many different ways, including jealous,cynism,petulance towards any dude,aggression,hatefulness,negative advice to other girls …..what’ll call c0rk blocking..etcetera etcetera etcetera these are all some of the women schisms of jadedneness.

:lol: :lol:

Leggs

May 31st, 2013
9:50 am

disco ~ thank you ma’am. I forgot about CeCe Peniston. I’ve been wanting to replace my “keep on trucking” stance. Good one!

disco

May 31st, 2013
9:52 am

ex – you right. there’s plenty of folks out there faking the funk. lol.

kimmie

May 31st, 2013
10:01 am

Morning All!!!

The dating world can be frustrating and it’s easy to get discouraged. I have not forgotten how it is.

I agree with Dreams that you have to enjoy the journey. I look back and thru all the mess, I got to travel to some fun places and do some nice things, meet good people.

I have 2 married friends that are like family to me, they include me in alot of their family activities over the years. When I hit dry spells, I hung out more with them. They never made me feel like a 3rd wheel. I am very family oriented and we just did fun family activities as well as adult events like concerts and cool restaraunts and bars. It kept my spirits up and reminded me there are still good people in positive relationships out there. I had alot of fun. One couple was actually sorry I started dating my now husband, because they missed me introducing them to all of these fun spots around town all the time. Now we double-date though!

Stay busy and remember to enjoy life while you’re looking for someone to share it with!

Hazel

May 31st, 2013
10:05 am

@disco – You know we all do that. Forget your friends when you start dating. I know I have.

disco

May 31st, 2013
10:05 am

hey kimmie!!!

disco

May 31st, 2013
10:07 am

hazel – I know it’s common but I’m not having that mess. I’m all for you spending time with your new man and all but don’t go getting all brand new, changing up and acting funny. I don’t have time for that. folks better remember what side their bread is buttered on. lol.

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
10:07 am

I applaud those women who go for fwb.

They are no different to mist men who don’t think beyond a nutt. Unless a woman really proves longterm potential men only see a good well built lady deserving of their lay. I credit men for at least recognizing the need to lay with somebody worthy of their balls.

If women could only do it the same way and not see Matrimony when they like a dude,jaded wld be tossed out of the dating lexicon. :lol:

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
10:08 am

Celisea: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and again...and again :)

May 31st, 2013
10:08 am

there’s plenty of folks out there faking the funk.

Yep and cosign! I can think of pleeeeeeenty things that falls under “faking the funk”, pleeeenty!!! LOLOLOL Shole can’t lose sleep over how others live or what they prescribe to though, that’s for certain. And I’ll add….for folks faking the funk, LIVE ON! And as we use to day back in the day, fake it til you make it!! :)

On topic: Nope, not jaded at all. I’m happy to be pretty level headed. I’ve mistakes and had growing pains even been tempted to take a walk on the wild side…a time or two, but sound thinking always prevailed in the end. Good dudes are out there, trrrust me on this! :mrgreen:

I dunno, I think people that may have gone through much heartache or had bad runs tend to become jaded. Sorry, I know it’s my mantra, but IMO and for me, that reason to proceed with caution. Keep the heart (mind, body and soul) protected. Keep the bad stuff from creeping and latching on.

Hazel

May 31st, 2013
10:08 am

@Leggs – I should explain this one. When I say forget, you just don’t spend a lot of time with your friends like you did when you start dating. I was so guilty of this. I spent less and less time with my bestfriend when I started dating my husband. Needless to say, our friendship isn’t what it used to be. It’s my fault and i know it. : (

Celisea: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and again...and again :)

May 31st, 2013
10:14 am

I always pull back from a bunch of bff time/stuff when I’m seeing someone. Gotta prioritize. That’s why we make time to get together and catch up. We have busy lives and everyone seems to be understanding of this. I must admit thought, ain’t nuuuuuuthing like catching up with your girls. Laughing, dishing, talking, bringing or being brought up to speed. We do that and we’re good for another stint of absenteeism. Naturally we talk here and there, but ain’t nothing a long overdue sit down with your besties :)

Leggs

May 31st, 2013
10:16 am

Hazel ~ no doubt when in a new relationship you may find yourself spending less time with your girlfriends. The key is to not forget them all together because there’s a new man in your life. Women tend to do this. Life is a balancing act and your true friends should be a part of that balance. Picture the “Scales of Justice,” when the relationship is out of balance who are you going to turn to?

[...] Dating: Don’t become jaded! [...]

Celisea: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and again...and again :)

May 31st, 2013
10:19 am

The outcome is really all that matters. As long as your life’s decision don’t call for a lot of consequences, you should be happy with the decisions you’ve made over time. IMO, everything you’ved touched in life, adds an inch of growth to your progression…if you learned from it. Learned as in moving away from or learned as in jumping in and getting the heck out….lololol

Can y’all tell I’m feeling guuuuud today? :) :) Sweet!

Celisea: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and again...and again :)

May 31st, 2013
10:19 am

Shoot, be happy about your consequences, if you learned from then and don’t repeat!

disco

May 31st, 2013
10:20 am

leggs – my point exactly. I had a friend once plan an event and then cancel on the day of to go out with a guy she met the day before. can you imagine how I talked about her? a week later and dude was in the wind. granted that’s extreme (by now y’all know I like extremes) but the point is the same.

Exiled

May 31st, 2013
10:26 am

Disco I think it’s in order to give ur girls less time if you got a man..moreso if they themselves have no man.

Manless girls give their manful friends negative energy. That’s the truf. They tend to overanalyze issues.

disco

May 31st, 2013
10:30 am

ex – I get it but factor in how some chicks run through men like it’s a contest. factor in how most relationships, while they may be all new and fuzzy and exciting, they don’t last. all I’m saying is don’t be walking around giving folks your azz to kiss only to be coming to those very same folks for support later.

kimmie

May 31st, 2013
10:34 am

I can truly say when my main set of bff’s, we had a very smooth transition over the years with respect to being there for each other. Maybe because right after college we no more than 2 of the 4 of us were living in the same city at the same time. We all moved around, one joined the Air Force. Marriages, kids, job changes, divorces, illnesses, deaths, you name it. We keep in touch pretty regular by phone and 3 of us now live in the ATL, so we plan periodic outings. We understand all are very busy.

To be honest, when I hung out as a single, I was mostly with what I would call 2nd tier friends, for lack of a better term. These are new friends I made along the way and not alot of time was invested in the friendship. For whatever reason, I kind of kept them at arms length and they never made it to main bff status. They were okay to hang out with and shoot the breeze but not confide in or share major life events with. So if they fell by the wayside due to dating, no hard feelings.

Single and Happy

May 31st, 2013
10:41 am

Button, all inclusive you might not like that (LOL) but it does look nice.

Button

May 31st, 2013
10:43 am

Hazel – don’t beat yourself up so hard @ friendship. Although it may never get back to where it was, you’re still friends so rebuild from there.

Leggs – You’re right, it’s all about balance.

Button

May 31st, 2013
10:51 am

Single – if that’s the only way I can get it then I’m game. :wink:

disco

May 31st, 2013
11:01 am

well here’s my contribution to at least getting us to the next page. lol.

kimmie

May 31st, 2013
11:04 am

Where is everyone?