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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Text message cheating?

A reader wrote in to ask whether or not inappropriate texts can be considered cheating.  She found her live-in boyfriend’s text messages to another woman.  (Ok, when I say found, I actually mean snooped!) He insisted that they have never hooked up but admitted to a few dirty text messages.

Do you think that sending texts to people who are not your significant other automatically classifies as cheating?  What if the nature of the text messages is harmless and simple flirting?

Would it bother you if you discovered that the person you are dating had a habit of sending texts to women from his past?  Would you ask them to stop or dump them?

What is the appeal of sending dirty texts to people you aren’t even dating?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

448 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:13 pm

~Disco..that 3:03 was the best laugh I’ve had today…talk about mixed messages. :lol:

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:15 pm

I laughed too, at that 3:03…that was funny

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:16 pm

It’s bad to be a kid in that position…danged if you do, danged if you don’t…

EIGHT PAGES!!!

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:17 pm

dag – y’all make me feel like I was raised up in the back room of the jook joint. there was cussing, drinking, smoking, fighting, gambling, partying. you name it. lol. I had one grandmother who wouldn’t let us play cards or board games that had dice but yet and still grandma stayed in vegas. as a child I didn’t understand the significance of vegas. another grandmother would throw a cloth on the dining room table and break out a deck of cards with the quickness. great grandmother carried a bottle of Canadian club in her purse.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:18 pm

Mama nor daddy cussed.

Mama cussed like a sailor. The little I’ve seen of my father doesn’t seem like he cussed, but I don’t know. Me, I cuss, not as bad as Mama cuz I don’t use the big MF word and I basically use the same 3 words = isht, a$$, and damn.

Bluzgirl

May 29th, 2013
3:18 pm

Button – possibly by me killing him. :-)

Actually, I was talking about my ex who passed away last year. I wanted to marry him and if I had, I would be a widow now.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:19 pm

let us play cards

Clutching ma pearls…that was NOT allowed…lol And for all that wasn’t, my brothers, the true players they were had chicked hemmed up when mama was gone.

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:20 pm

sassy – it’s no lie. I’ll never forget it. second grade. a cousin was in first grade. on the way home from school a fourth grader pushed my cousin down and I did nothing. cousin went home and told. my mother whooped my behind. meanwhile I fought my cousin for telling on me and naturally she told again. lol. my mother whooped my behind again.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:21 pm

That lady would let it rip & then say “I’m sorry baby, Monique get on out this room!”

Not my Granny and her two sisters…what’s more is they fed off each other. All we needed was for one to start and the other two would join in…and lawd please don’t let something happen to one of the grand children..fire was a’coming. They’d make up curse words…now that stuff is funny, hell back then it was funny,too…

m NOT a cusser, just never been my thing.

Everything has it’s place…there are just some times and certain situations where nothing else will have that bite/sting like a good old cuss word. Maybe it’s just me ;-)

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:22 pm

I mention mama a lot cause she was the emotional, you better duck cause she’s swinging, 200 plus pounds coming at you disciplinarian. My daddy? Gentle Ben. Quiet, laid back, mild mannered, but could definitely handle mama :)

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:23 pm

-Leggs Growing up when I heard my Grandma say “hell” I knew something was about to go down, LOL!!! I’m sure my Mama cussed, she just didn’t do it in front of me.

-Disco My family played cards and music at the cookouts & the kids weren’t allowed to play, but they could watch and go bring the adults beers from the cooler, LOL!!!

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:23 pm

disco ~ I learned how to play bid watching and listening to Mama and em. People could buy aa “set.” I think it was 2 glasses, small bucket of ice and a pint.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:26 pm

there are just some times and certain situations where nothing else will have that bite/sting like a good old cuss word. Maybe it’s just me – I defnitely follow.

I’ve heard many say if you need to cuss you lack the ability to articulate your thoughts properly. I call a flag on the play because although many of us can cuss a person out w/o ever using a cuss word, sometimes the sting of using the word is all that matters at the time.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:26 pm

-Sassy Funny you mention that certain situations call for cussing. There are some people who ONLY understand English when you cuss at them. I suppose that’s all they respond to. . . Sad but true.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:27 pm

school a fourth grader pushed my cousin down and I did nothing.

:shock:

Oh yeah that was grounds for a whipping in my house but that was an understood rule. If any of the cousins was being bullied or picked on we had bETTER knuckle up if it came down to it. We were never allowed to start a fight….only finish them. Daddy had a rule, “If we start a fight we better win or else that’ll be two a$$ whoopins you get…one in the street and the other one when you get home”…

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:27 pm

leggs – your post just put a grin on my face. here’s a card game memory. my son was between 2 and 3 years old. grandmother and some folks were playing spades at the table. it was a loud, trash talking game and they were drinking and whatnot. my grandma’s team was trying to keep the other team from making board. how come at some point my son hollered out “book ‘em grandma! book ‘em”. we bout fell out. my grandmother was like “you want me to book ‘em baby” and she slammed her card on the table for that 10th book and my son clapped and cheered. we bout fell out.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
3:28 pm

My parents tried not to cuss in front of us, but when they did, we knew they had reached their limit, especially mom. Now dad liked a dirty joke so most of the time when we did hear him say something, it was in jest.

We LOVED to do it out of their earshot though!LOL!!!

I’m not much of one. I might say damn or ish from time to time out of frustration. NEVER have cared for MF.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:29 pm

-Leggs/Sassy I failed to mention that my Grandma didn’t need to cuss because EVERYBODY knew that she had GUNS and wasn’t afraid to use them, LOL!!! :-D

Button

May 29th, 2013
3:29 pm

Bluzgirl – oh I didn’t know, sorry :(

I don’t know where I got the tongue to cuss lol, whew talk about cussing like a drunken sailor after leaving home. talk about rebellion.

When I was little I used to look up cuss words in the dictionary/encyclopedia lol

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:30 pm

the kids weren’t allowed to play, but they could watch and go bring the adults beers from the cooler, LOL!!!

Aaaahhh the good ole days :mrgreen:

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
3:32 pm

When I was little I used to look up cuss words in the dictionary/encyclopedia lol

Button – LOL!! I thought I was the only one that did that!!LOLO!!

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:34 pm

-Sassy YES, had my 1st swig of beer (Budweiser) at the age of 6. NEVER took another swig of that. Didn’t understand why the grown-ups had to have that beer, LOL!!!

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:35 pm

MissMoni…I come from a loooong line of fiesty women…hell I remember when I was younger my Granny shot her boyfriend in the a$$ AND rode to the hospital with him…

One her sister chased her husband out of the house with a shotgun and for about two-three days whenever he tried to come home you’d hear gun shots and cussin..

I’ve heard stories about my great-Granny fightin guys with bats n knives n such…I guess I get my “Inner Ike” honestly..

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
3:37 pm

Moni – My parents had a bar in our basement, with one of those little fridges behind in. My dad would keep those little squat bottles of Miller beer (the Champagne of Beers, lol) in that fridge, full of it. I would sneak one of those beers every now and then. For some reason, I loved that stuff!

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:38 pm

Well, back in the day I cussed…like a sailor. Don’t cuss now, don’t really miss and don’t struggle not to. Eeeeevery now and then though, I wanna go there. I think only in the last year (compared to all the years I stopped), have someone reeeeeallly taken me there. Nothing will get me going though quicker than a dude tryna bamboozle me. And like I said, I’on even waste time with jokers, but just eeeeevery blue moon somebody will tap into it.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:39 pm

-Sassy LOL!!! My Grandma was the strong silent type. . . When it came to romantic relationships I never saw her argue with my Granddaddy. Now she would speak her peace about how she felt about situations and that would be that. No biting her tongue, but it was all done without cussing & fussing. Honestly, I can’t do all that fussing & fighting, it’s not good for my nerves.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:40 pm

had my 1st swig of beer (Budweiser) at the age of 6

Swig?…growing up I had two aunts who’d get their friends and play spades and drink beer ALL day on Saturdays…that’s where I learned to pour a beer. They’d always say, “Hold the cup sideways so you don’t make all that suds in my beer”…I thought I was doing some Big Willy isht then…

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:40 pm

moni – as a kid I drank beer. don’t touch the stuff now. my father used to have a zillion (lol) beer cans out back. mostly jax. do they even still make that? as a kid I also used to steal sips of my grandma’s CC. unfortunately I can’t say that turned me off whiskey. lol.

sassy – that’s like two of my grandma’s sisters ran a speakeasy with their husbands in Mississippi back in the 30s/40s whenever. apparently some trouble brewed in the spot and one of the sisters cut a man clear to appetite (lol). they then loaded him into their car and drove him to a hospital in the next county (the one where they were didn’t treat black folks).

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:40 pm

-Kimmie LOL, not the little squat bottles!!! I thought beer was the nastiest stuff on earth outside of Castor Oil when I was little. Did your Dad ever figure it out???

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:40 pm

That is funny, disco! Watching our parents/grand parents play card was a hoot and hollering night of loud fun and trash talk. I learned how to count books watching them.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:42 pm

Ok, please tell me that in addition to Spades & Tunk that I wasn’t the only one who was taught to play Pokeno??? My Mama said it would help me with math, LOL!!! *True Story* :-D

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:42 pm

When I cohabitated with the kid’s dad, his cousin had a baby (less than a year), where they’d put beer in his bottle and he’d get buzzed or tipsy (whatever you want to call it). That broke my heart soooo badly. I would leave cause I couldn’t stand to be around it. They all thought it was funny.

Bluzgirl

May 29th, 2013
3:43 pm

Re: cussing…sometimes, it just makes you feel better to cuss! I can cuss like a sailor when need be. LOL! I actually cuss worse when I’m driving…that was the first time I said the “F” word in front of my mother…

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:43 pm

my Granny shot her boyfriend in the a$$ AND rode to the hospital with him…

disco ~ I think you have kinfolk in Blogsville (lol).

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:43 pm

I can’t do all that fussing & fighting, it’s not good for my nerves.

It’s not really conducive to alot. I’m not the kind to quit or back down so that’s why I try to stay away from the fray. I’m attached to my emotions more than I need to be sometimes…I’m a work in progress.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:44 pm

-Sassy I feel you, and we all are, nobody’s perfect. ;-)

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:45 pm

Well, Beautiful and Durty, time for Cel to roll out. I think this will be my final time today :mrgreen:

That okay with y’all??? I hope so, if not too baaaad!!!

Toodles!!! Later folks

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:46 pm

one of the sisters cut a man clear to appetite (lol). they then loaded him into their car and drove him to a hospital in the next county

Well at least they made sure he didn’t croak…with my folks I ‘on know..

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:46 pm

-Leggs I was thinking along the same lines about Disco & Sassy being related, LOL!!!

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
3:47 pm

Moni – If he did, he didn’t say anything!LOL!! Knowing him though, he probably would have thought it was a hoot!LOL!! I stole 2 bottles of champagne/cold duck that had been in our extra fridge we had in the garage for months. I drank it senior prom night with my friends.

As long as you didn’t get sloppy drunk and go out and drive or do any drugs, dad was cool. Mom was not uptight about it either. She wanted to take away that “forbidden” aura of alcohol, so we would not go crazy once we went away to college. It worked.

Bluzgirl

May 29th, 2013
3:47 pm

Speaking of beer, when I was in MI this weekend, I found out that they don’t know anything about Yuengling up there. The benefit I was at was at a brewery and I told the bartender that’s what I like to drink and was trying to find something similar and she gave me a strange look. I asked my friends if they had ever heard of it and they looked at me funny and asked if it is a Chinese beer.

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:48 pm

leggs – when folks call me crazy I tell them I come from a long line of crazy. when my elders are going on talking about how we “young folks” today don’t have any sense I remind them that kids don’t take after strangers. we been cutting up and acting the fool since way back.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:48 pm

-Disco What is Jax??? LOL at you liking whiskey. I tried that in college (drinking game) and that was the last time I touched that stuff too, LOL!!! I could feel it going all the way through my body and it burned!!!

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:48 pm

~MissMoni I have my days trust me…luckily they’re faaar and few in between..

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:50 pm

kimmie – not the cold duck. lol.

moni – right up until she died my great grandma got a kick out of telling folks how I was sleeping over one night and finally blurted out “dang, I wish the phone would ring”. that’s when she figured out I was stealing sips when she went to answer the phone. lol.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
3:50 pm

Yuengling

Bluz – My hubs loves that!

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:50 pm

Alright, it’s that time. Have a great one and I’ll blog with ya’ll in the morning!!! :-)

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:51 pm

MissMoni ~ I still have my original Pokeno game set from when I was a teenager, red chips and all! It’s held closed with a rubberband, but I have it. I loved Pokeno and how 4 corners would always fill up.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:52 pm

Meaning, each game with put a nickel in the 4 cups (1) Center, (2) 4 Corners, (3) 4 of a kind and (5) POKENO!!!

Button

May 29th, 2013
3:52 pm

Kimmie- LOL

@ drinking alcohol – my granny used to give us alcohol to prevent worms bc we ate a lot sweet. must’ve been an old wves tale. It wasn’t a bottle or anything like that more like a large spoon.