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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Text message cheating?

A reader wrote in to ask whether or not inappropriate texts can be considered cheating.  She found her live-in boyfriend’s text messages to another woman.  (Ok, when I say found, I actually mean snooped!) He insisted that they have never hooked up but admitted to a few dirty text messages.

Do you think that sending texts to people who are not your significant other automatically classifies as cheating?  What if the nature of the text messages is harmless and simple flirting?

Would it bother you if you discovered that the person you are dating had a habit of sending texts to women from his past?  Would you ask them to stop or dump them?

What is the appeal of sending dirty texts to people you aren’t even dating?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

448 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
2:24 pm

-Beautiful I don’t allow my daughters to hit each other either. The rule for them is to keep their hands and feet to themselves.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:24 pm

the new gospel that’s out today is jammin’. they gotta be careful tho with the beats. make a sista wanna drop it likes it hot. LOL!

WTH??? NOT! I remember when I heard Kurt Franklin’s single in a club. I must admit I was appalled. Not taken aback, appalled that people were dirty dancing off a gospel song. Blasphemy.

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:25 pm

B – to each his own but I told a friend who didn’t allow her kids to fight each other that fighting each other was practice for fighting in the “real world”. growing up we took turns fighting/wrestling each other. first one to the ground went back up on the porch and the next one hit the yard. and besides all that, you’re the parent, you can always resort to “do as I say, not as I do” when they ask why it’s okay for you to hit but not them. lol.

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
2:26 pm

button, try the 20W to montgomery then 65S route to the FWB area. quicker coz it’s all highway. until you get just north of crestview.

leggs, me & my sis used to talk about putting together a game day at piedmont. just to show our kids and grands how we got out and played w/o the benefit of expensive props and gadgets.

Single and Happy

May 29th, 2013
2:28 pm

Disco, I don’t say it in those words, I just say you need to make up your mind and do what’s best for you, but all this b**ching and moaning about it aint going to do anything.

Kimmie, I get it all the time when people find out I’ve never been married and enjoying life, by traveling and having hobbies. Like it’s just not natural.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
2:29 pm

Leggs… i 2nd that! that’s why i say they need to hold back a little.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:30 pm

Disco – I don’t go that “do as I say” route with mine. I tell them I’m the parent and I’m grown and do what I want. I tell them when they move out into their own place, they can do whatever they want too.LOL!!

My parents didn’t really mind us roughhousing, and my older brothers taught my younger ones how to fight. But they did not allow us to hit each other out of anger, because some had a tendency to take it too far.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:32 pm

czB ~ when lil leggs was in elementary school, I partnered with The Heart Association and had 2 days of double dutch in the gym. It was sad during one field day there no one knew how to jump double dutch.

Button

May 29th, 2013
2:33 pm

czBrat- thanks, I’ll jot down your direction and keep it for futher reference.

Single and Happy

May 29th, 2013
2:34 pm

It was sad during one field day there no one knew how to jump double dutch and we wonder why these kids are obese.

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:35 pm

kimmie – I don’t say it either. I was just giving her an out. lol. we play fought and we real fought. my mother used to always tell me to be nice to my brother because one day he’d be bigger and stronger than me. our first fight where I realized he was bigger and stronger than me I hit him in the face with a chair and chipped his tooth. that was our last physical fight. now I just beat him with words. lol.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:40 pm

“I hit him in the face with a chair and chipped his tooth. that was our last physical fight….” How big was this chair??? Dang!, that’s gangsta!

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:41 pm

Single – I’m sure you do get it, but somehow I think single women get it worse. I married rather “late” according to society standards. Folks started wondering all kinds of things – was I crazy, did I have a disease, bat for the other team, you name it.

I never got much flak from my immediate family. My mom especially stressed the importance of chosing the right person, someone you can get along with, shares your values and someone you truly LIKE. F– a damn wedding! She didn’t want me or my siblings caught up in a bad situation. She would have rather we stay single than do that. Only you know what you can and cannot deal with.

I thank God I found the right person, that makes me happy. We get along so great. He is so easy-going and so not intense and not for BS. If I had not met someone like him, I definitely could have dealt with remaining single. I just have a very low tolerance for mess and misery.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:42 pm

My last fight with my sister, she kicked me in the stomach and threw my clothes in the alley. She got in a lot of trouble and I was happy!

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:43 pm

leggs – it was just a little kitchen dinette chair. we had reached the point where he was strong enough to scoop me up. I wasn’t having that.

kimmie – I told y’all about the time my grandfather’s sister called me an old maid and I mentioned it to my grandmother and she went off. talked about my auntie like a dog. lol.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:44 pm

I just have a very low tolerance for mess and misery.

I think I used to have a low tolerance. Now, no tolerance.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:45 pm

Disco – One of my brothers pushed chair at me when we were fussing at each other. It did not hurt me at all, but I milked it for all it was worth. I screamed “Brother threw a chair at me!” loud so my mother would hear me. He got in trouuuble!!LOLO!!!

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:45 pm

leggs – not that you said and you were happy. shoot, that might have been cause for a sneak attack later. consequences be damned. lol.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
2:46 pm

I just have a very low tolerance for mess and misery.

Mee too. I don’t go for the grill no more, I just lean over so it can pass. Too much of “up in my face”, I can’t let slide. But getting older, it’s just soo not worth it. And be prepared for it when you don’t cut corners with folks.

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:46 pm

kimmie – see my post to leggs re the sneak attack later. lol.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:47 pm

She got in a lot of trouble and I was happy

:lol:

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:49 pm

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
2:49 pm

-Leggs I too have that ZERO tolerance policy for mess, misery & foolishness.

-Disco It was just a little kitchen dinette chair. . . Um yeah, so that’s why his tooth got chipped, LOL! Ya’ll had some real live WWE going on in the house. ;-)

Single and Happy

May 29th, 2013
2:49 pm

Kimmie, maybe so maybe not, cause I get that bat for the other team and everything, I think what really gets folks is I just say, Okay and?? , My family has never said anything to me about being single. It’s the outside folks that want to get all up in yo bizness

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:50 pm

Disco – My aunt went off on one of my cousins that came at me with that old maid mess!!

disco

May 29th, 2013
2:51 pm

as the oldest child I feel like being the oldest practically grants you absolute power over younger siblings. you are the king/queen and they better recognize. lol.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
2:51 pm

she kicked me in the stomach and threw my clothes in the alley.

:shock:

My mom NEVER allowed us to even argue let alone fight…hell we didn’t even “play fight/horse play” around her. Her words were, “Y’all stop that horsing around before it gets serious…God forbid y’all ever fight in front of me cause it’s on…Imma whip errbody’s a$$”

And that’s how it’s been. Even if we disagreed with something it’s never come to blows….don’t seem right.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
2:53 pm

-Disco I too am the oldest, but my sister is 10 years younger than me. So it was like both of us were the only child, LOL! However, she does view me as “Big Sister Gorgeous One”, I practically raised her.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:53 pm

I get that bat for the other team

Single – Dang I guess so!

Folks just need to mind their own business! Now what would they be saying if you yeild to pressure and get caught up in some mess and it doesn’t work out and you end up on the 6 o’clock news? Then what?? :shock:

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
2:53 pm

Imma whip errbody’s a$$”

Now this was my mama. We had our squabbles and passing licks but that was the extent of it. Or a “punch” when mama wasn’t looking. But if it was all out war like throwing chairs and stuff, she was not going to ask questions. Just take a switch and line everybody up.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:55 pm

disco ~ there was a sneak attacky. I jumped on her back while she was watching TV. She tried to flip me off, but I was like a venus flytrap. I was holding on for dear life. Felt like I was riding a human bull. My sister is big and tall (then).

Bluzgirl

May 29th, 2013
2:56 pm

My parents have given me a little flak for not being married and having children, but then I remind them of the men I’ve been with and they are happy I didn’t marry or have their babies!!! They’ve calmed down some because they are realizing that I’m waiting for the right one. When I do get married, I plan for it to last forever. If I’d married the previous men, I’d be divorced or widowed now…

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
2:56 pm

Y’all stop that horsing around before it gets serious…

Sassy – Yep, and a few times it did, that’s why she didn’t allow us to take out the anger on each other.

Button

May 29th, 2013
2:57 pm

Sassy – same thin in my parents house, no fighting allowed better yet, no yelling/fussing/loud talking allow even cuss words.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
2:59 pm

MissMoni ~ back in the day, many dinette sets had chrome legs.

don’t seem right. – Sassy, I had a friend who just said the same thing about having a fight with her best friend(s). She couldn’t imagine best friends brawling with each other. I never fought a friend.

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
2:59 pm

leggs, i was never much good at double dutch. always flubbed on the jump-in. :(
but i was hell on the hoola!!

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:00 pm

better yet, no yelling/fussing/loud talking allow even cuss words.

Now, we did yell and disagree. IMO and looking back, and in our household that was healthy. I think the rustling you get from sibling rivalry can be healthy. You learn to love each down to the core, your learn there’s no love like that kind of love and you’ll be front and center if anything pops off with you sibs. Well, at least my brothers were…

Now cussing? That was a no no. Mama nor daddy cussed.

Button

May 29th, 2013
3:01 pm

Bluzgirl – widowed? by you killing him??

I don’t think ladies or men for that matter that kill their spouse should be allowed to be called a widow(er)
or collect insurance or any benefits from the decease spouse.

daddy swiss

May 29th, 2013
3:01 pm

Hi brat, if you’re still here. Yup, the little munchkin just turned 5 months last week, and she definitely rules the roost. She’s also waaaaaaaaaaaaay too cute (and she looks like daddy). :)

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:03 pm

naturally we weren’t allowed to fight each other. we just did. what’s the consequence? a whooping? whatever. lol. I remember one time in grade school I got two whoopings in one day behind not fighting and fighting. yep. talk about your mixed messages. the next day when I fought again I was praised. lol.

leggs – lol. funny you said that. this chair had chrome legs and blue seats. lol.

Button

May 29th, 2013
3:04 pm

Celisea – I didn’t have any brothers, maybe it wouldv’e been different. it was all girls in my family. We learned to talk out our problems and moved on from it.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:05 pm

-Leggs Exactly, those are the dinette chairs that I remember, LOL!

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
3:06 pm

awww, caB ~ loved double dutch, orange dutch, bu I excelled at dodge ball!

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:08 pm

Button – We had minor spats, but my mama would have torn a hole in our frames for rumbles…lololol Yeah, my brothers were the best. They didn’t let not one thing come close to any of us girls. That was elementary and hs. They didn’t play that. And folks knew not to mess with us. But it wasn’t just them, males cousins too. They all sort of kept a hedge around us.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:10 pm

I will also say, we couldn’t go around instigating or picking fights. They’d warn you to shut-up. If not, you were on your own….lol But as long as we were being “good girls”, they had our backs all day, everyday

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

May 29th, 2013
3:11 pm

kimmie/Button y’all know the deal…even if something was amiss..we had to squash it..as children AND adults. If she catches wind of any kind of discord(which doesn’t happen often) she will have us make amends…

I never fought a friend.

Me either..and if I’ve wanted to fight you I don’t consider you a friend.

Mama nor daddy cussed.

Mine either but that didn’t stop anything. My granny and her sisters cussed like sailors on pay day when they were ready, so by the time I was in the 4th/5th grade I was a pro…just couldn’t let Mommy find out cause that would’ve been my a**.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:11 pm

And I guess it didn’t help that one of my brothers was crazy, as in crazy…for real. Sometimes I was scared of him (as a little kid).

disco

May 29th, 2013
3:11 pm

none of my friends and I have ever even had a falling out much less a fight. good thing too. I think I got some squabble with me but my friends do too. boy it wouldn’t be nothing nice. lol.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
3:13 pm

so by the time I was in the 4th/5th grade I was a pro…just couldn’t let Mommy find out cause that would’ve been my a**.

This is funny, cause we didn’t cuss either…in front of mama ‘nem. But eeeevery now and then, you’d slip :shock: My mama would smack you and say that came out cause you’ve been doing it…lolol I’m laughing as I recall that. That only happened a couple of times.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
3:13 pm

-Sassy I didn’t hear cussing from my Mama or my grandparents growing up. They would make me leave the room if they wanted to say something inappropriate. However, my Grandma had a cousin who was a loose cannon. That lady would let it rip & then say “I’m sorry baby, Monique get on out this room!” To this day, I’m NOT a cusser, just never been my thing.