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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Text message cheating?

A reader wrote in to ask whether or not inappropriate texts can be considered cheating.  She found her live-in boyfriend’s text messages to another woman.  (Ok, when I say found, I actually mean snooped!) He insisted that they have never hooked up but admitted to a few dirty text messages.

Do you think that sending texts to people who are not your significant other automatically classifies as cheating?  What if the nature of the text messages is harmless and simple flirting?

Would it bother you if you discovered that the person you are dating had a habit of sending texts to women from his past?  Would you ask them to stop or dump them?

What is the appeal of sending dirty texts to people you aren’t even dating?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

448 comments Add your comment

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
12:08 pm

Durty – I’m all that and a big ole bag of chips!! LOL!!!

Court – Only thing I can say is I lack patience for games. When I think of “working thru things” I’m thinking real adult stuff like how the bills are gonna get paid if you decide to quit your job and pursue your PhD, or how we gon help our sick grandmama that lives far away or do I need to go to rehab for my addition to perscription drugs, etc. Not some ish about a damn text. That’s high school ish.

kimmie

May 29th, 2013
12:12 pm

Leggs/Single – I would not trade my upbringing for anything in the world, the good, not-so-good, bad, all of it! And yes, I had a damn good time!!!!

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:12 pm

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
12:15 pm

“daddy swiss” … awwww! is there now a pretty little princess in your castle?

the most complex part of dating (for me) was keeping my own pace. folks just wanna rush you into seeing how the two of you “fit”. wtf!?! if i prefer to talk and laugh and chill with you for months on end before getting serious, that’s my right. can’t let the new dating norms take that away from me.

yes, ma’am, disco. off to cayman this weekend. and not a moment too soon.

Durty Burd

May 29th, 2013
12:18 pm

O.K. I meant Abstinence, Leggs u could have added the t for me….hehehe..

@Disco hey if you are a teacher and the person is still in high school it is a crime even if the person is18 yrs.

It is big time down here in the south, the jails are starting to fill up.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:18 pm

Beautiful – I couldn’t see/hear how the kid ended. What did he say?

We were taught to recite the old and new testatement books around that same age.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:18 pm

A stank, snarky attitude would get you slapped. We lived in fear of Mom’s slaps. I don’t hit the kids, but I don’t tolerate it either. – Dang flashback. My attitude wasn’t stank, but it was snarky, even though it was the truth. A child needed to say in their lane, and I was known to veer off course many a time. Some of you may recall I said my last slap by Mama was at the age of 25. Yep! Unfortunately.

The song “Papa was a rolling stone,” by the Temptations I think yielded my hardest slap. Mama was hosting something and a few of her friends had a arrived early, along with the kuncklehead she was seeing. When the song got to the part “papa had 3 outside children and another wife and that’ ain’t right,” I somewhat sang it at the top of my young lungs. Well, I walked out of that room with my tail between my legs. Whew, my fact stung for quite some time. But you see, those kind of slaps were “you may be speaking the truth chile, but mind you place and get the hell on!”

good noon, czB!

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
12:19 pm

-czBrat ENJOY your trip!!! :-)

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:19 pm

czBrat… we’re totally opposite but i’m trying to get where you are. i tend to move fast. i figure why wait? but i like your way better

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
12:21 pm

-Leggs LOL, because you knew exactly what you were saying, you wanted to get your point across. Clearly you did, based on your Mom’s reaction. Was it a lesson learned???

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:23 pm

Celisea… he ended with singing all he ex’s live in TX LOL!

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:24 pm

i tend to move fast. i figure why wait? – Cuz it cuts down on the amount of hurt you will suffer by moving to quickly w/someone you don’t know. take time, chile, tak time….it’s all good when you do (lol).

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:24 pm

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:25 pm

Awwwww, I bet that was sweet/cute!! Kids are sooo cute.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:27 pm

MissMoni ~ lesson learned…stay out of grown folk business ESP when their friends are around.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:27 pm

and learning the books makes no sense to me. the babies at my church learn verses. one child knows 101 psalms by heart. no joke!

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:29 pm

kimmie ~ because I grew up with slaps, I vowed never to slap my child if I were to have any. I’ve succeeded. I want her to not flinch with I’m simply raising my arms to give her a hug. That was what I kept front and center all these years.

disco

May 29th, 2013
12:29 pm

leggs – re last slap by momma. one of my friends was grown and pregnant with her first child. she said she was getting fly about something and said her mother straight pimp slapped her. she said as if getting slapped wasn’t bad enough, after the slap her mother went and fixed her a plate and made her sit down and eat.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:30 pm

Let me retype that:

I DONT want her to flinch when I’m simply raising my arms to give her a hug.

MissMoni

May 29th, 2013
12:31 pm

-Disco LOL, you have some of the best stories ever, that is hilarious!!!

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:31 pm

oops, I see I did use the word “not”

disco

May 29th, 2013
12:32 pm

leggs – my son and brothers all still have a tendency to flinch just from me walking past them sometimes. I don’t deny that I still impulsively reach out and pop them across the back of the head every now and again. I swear I don’t even mean to. my hand just shoots out and slap. lol.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:33 pm

disco ~ that’s funny. Her mama was old school and you will always hush and stay in your place no matter your age. Now stop those contractions and sit down and eat!

MsAtl

May 29th, 2013
12:33 pm

Leggs- I am cracking up over your singing that song.

As far as dating, I guess I need to get the hang of it, having been married for so long. There are certain things that I expect and certain things that just don’t sound right. my friends and I talk and sometimes we are just stumped. One friend told me about a first date last week that went south when the guy started talking about sex. I was invited on a date recently and the man said he expected me to pay. I’m like huh? Now, as y’all know, I don’t mind paying for some outings if we are dating, but if you ask me, don’t tell me at the time of the date that you thought I was paying. Not to mention, yes I do expect a man to get the door.

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
12:34 pm

lmao @ beautiful! at least you know yourself. i’ve always been that way. virgin til i was 20 with a ring on my finger. it was odd in the 80’s; practically unheard of these days.

and thanks for the well wishes. i expect it’s gonna be fab!

hi ya, leggs. luv, luv, LUV the rundown on all those street games. red rover, freeze tag, skelly, handball. i happened to drive past a handball court in a brookhaven neighborhood last week and almost jumped out the car while it was still rolling. lol

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:34 pm

I swear I don’t even mean to. my hand just shoots out and slap. lol.

I’m cracking up…you stoopid. l like your hand is a magnant to their heads. Getting popped just for being there. I get the picture very well.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:35 pm

you have to be careful these days with hitting your kids. take all their toys away instead. i promise you it hurts more

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:37 pm

MsAtl ~ I didn’t like him, he wasn’t slick in my eyes, and Mama was simply foolish taking his word over mine many times. He knew I didn’t care for him and I didnt care! I was a firecracker long with being a spitfire growing up.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:38 pm

MsAtl ~ I have many MIA. It’s crazy out there. I believe I have one trying to gauge what lane he can put me in. It’s interesting watching, because he too is not slick.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:38 pm

Learning anything about the bible makes every sense. For us, rather than filling up with garbage and trash (like kids today), it was a way to keep up preoccupied in VBS or SS. We not only learned the books of the bible, but as we studied and got older, we moved on to how to break downs the parts (gotta know the books in order to do this)…..

Old – History, law and history, psalms, major prophets, minor prophets
New – Four gospels, Acts, Paul’s epistles, Revelations

By the age of 12, we all knew (by way of games and contests and prizes), Psalms 1, 15, 23, 24, 100, 117, 121. There is power in the word of God. And it does a work and a wonder when embedded and rooted down in you. As a kid, no you don’t know or see the benefit. We just learned and studied to get a gold star, or a prize, so forth and so on. As an adult we can to understand the spiritual meaning and how it benefits one’s soul and keep the uglies/devil/evil at bay. So yes, for me and how I was raised, there’s a benefit to learning anything about the word of God. You can’t follow Christ and his walk unless you understand what was done, predicted, prophisied and pointed to…which was him.

I’ll stop there…don’t want to get too churchy on ya! Too, over and above my mama’s teaching, it’s the biggest BS buster I know :mrgreen:

disco

May 29th, 2013
12:39 pm

moni – this is one of my childhood friends. you know we still talk about that every now and again. this same friend is very fair skinned. her mom and most of her siblings are very bright. once when I was younger I went to visit and her father said I was the blackest child he had ever seen. lol. we still laugh about that one too.

leggs – re my friend’s old school momma. when we were in high school we went to an 18 and up club. granted we weren’t 18 but whatever. my friend’s mom showed up in the spot in robe/slippers/rollers to drag my friend out. to this day she still puts that up there as one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:40 pm

You can’t follow Christ and his walk unless you understand what was done, predicted, prophisied and pointed to…which was him

Unless you first follow the old testament…

Now I’m done….chuuuuuch

disco

May 29th, 2013
12:44 pm

B – I’m not big on taking stuff away. you practically have to punish yourself to enforce grounding. I don’t have time for that. I’m going to bust that azz to solve whatever issue we have. all that you’re grounded, no tv, no phone, no video games for a week stuff needs too much follow up for me.

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
12:45 pm

take all their toys away instead. i promise you it hurts more
then you ain’t hittin ‘em right.
:lol:

czBrat ♀ island bound!!

May 29th, 2013
12:48 pm

disco, my sister used to have to take all the power cords off of tv’s, game, computers, everything and carry them around in her purse in order to “monitor” those punishments. hilarious!! and i have a niece that has never let me watch her kids because she doesn’t believe in spanking.

me? i’m a swinger. the old school type.

MsAtl

May 29th, 2013
12:48 pm

Leggs- I am finding that out (your 12:38) and I don’t think I like it. I am not one for games or sharing. I am comfortable being single, but it would be nice to have some platonic friends I could sub in when I need a dress up for an event or some help with heavy lifting, lol.

Disco- I am wondering if I know your friend’s momma, lol. My friend’s mom went in the club onto the dance floor and snatched my friend because she had told my friend not to wear her shoes. Well, she wore her mom’s shoes anyway & ended up on the dance floor in the rattiest slippers her mom could find. And yes, her mom wore rollers to the club.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:48 pm

being familiar with the books and where they are located… okay. but the actual verses are our daily bread. those should be written on your heart and used in the time of battle. eventually you’ll know the books as you go along.

Durty Burd

May 29th, 2013
12:50 pm

Dang it I luv with that woman,when I read those words they have me feeling some kinda way… Oops!

Some of the dudes are out have simply lost their dang mind, how do u invite someone out and then ask them to pay for it. Chivalry is slowing becoming a lost art, when I am out I seldom see men opening the car doors, pulling out chairs or opening for the ladies. But they still ask for the goods…

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:51 pm

Beautiful – Please read my 12:38…the reasoning and the explanation and the latter understanding. I’m not gonna retype that again…lol And of course every is different and have to do what works for them.

Alright folks, by blogging is done…for now

disco

May 29th, 2013
12:52 pm

brat – I’m with you. knock their little behinds out. I have a babysitting rule. If I can’t hit your kid, I can’t watch your kid.

atl – hold up. she came to the club and made old girl swap shoes??? now that is funny. lol.

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:53 pm

czB ~ I don’t know many who have played skelly…loved that game!

I saying this with a tear in my eye. Wish I was small enuf to sneak in your suitcase. :cry: I already know you’re going to have a blast.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:53 pm

Celisea… why do you say bye like 10 times a day? LOL

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:54 pm

Beautiful – Cause I dang wanna and cause I can :mrgreen:

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:54 pm

and almost jumped out the car while it was still rolling. lol

girl, I know the feeling. We need to find one and see how silly we now look playing that game. I would love to ace a ball….

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:55 pm

And if you can follow, Beautiful, I believe I said…”for now” that means I could pop back in the next minute :mrgreen: I don’t think that violates any blog rules. Better to say “bye” here repeatedly than with a dude and going nowhere…

OH NO SHE DIDN’T!!!

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:55 pm

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:57 pm

There’s always gonna be THAT old ornery person, trolling along, popping in at certain times, never discuss, just attack…so forth and so on…I get it. It’s what happens here….lolol

Leggs

May 29th, 2013
12:57 pm

this day she still puts that up there as one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. – it would also have been one of the funniest in my life if I was the friend watching.

Beautiful

May 29th, 2013
12:58 pm

if i was rude, i apologize. but i had to ask since no one else did

Celisea

May 29th, 2013
12:58 pm

Where is Mmello??