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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Are they faking?

Have you ever heard the quote, “Women fake  orgasms, men fake whole relationships” – not sure who it is attributed to.  The fact that we can ever truly know who is faking one is pretty laughable.  We have discussed how you can meet a person’s “representative” and not know their true personality until much much later. That is actually a bit frightening when people take it too far.

What happens when you realize that the person you are seeing is pretending the sex is great?  Or worse, pretending they care about you just to get you in bed?

Can you ever really know if they are faking? Do you trust your instinct?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

210 comments Add your comment

Exiled

May 15th, 2013
6:58 am

I don’t know if a man cares that you fake it,as long as you don’t bang another man….we guud! :lol: why do I say that….well…don’t u feel the warm Nutt as it oozes out…that is the man’s Destination! :lol: :lol:

‘We fake whole relationships’…..I’m not too sure about that!

Either,a woman said or coined that phrase or a man coined it to please a woman.

The interaction is the Relationship! How can that be difficult.

Man’s Relationships have Purpose. Marriage and family..Fuc kin’ …money business etc

Now here comes a Woman and she wants to complicate Everything.

Worship me and Commit and Surrender yourself only to me and we call that Relationship = Woman’s definition

Exiled

May 15th, 2013
7:00 am

Hmmpfff!

Good morning!!

Lee

May 15th, 2013
7:07 am

Can you ever really know if they are faking? Do you trust your instinct? When words and action do not equal the same, or when one gives you excuses instead of a straight answer is a great clue that they are pretending. I have ignored my instinct only to kick myself later, I will no longer ignore that feeling.
This is how to tell if a woman didn’t reach the goal–she is able to get up and walk around right afterwards (she should be shaking -legs unsteady – maybe even a little dizzy) so if she is acting like nothing happened well truthfully nothing did just happen.
Good Day.

Exiled

May 15th, 2013
7:09 am

the Bob brigade will savage me today for referencing the warm Nutt.. :lol:

I know I spoke in tongues there ..:lol: a feeling unbeknown to that legion.. :lol:

Sad

Exiled

May 15th, 2013
7:15 am

Lee..not every woman feels the D the same way. If it hits u hard and Bam!, to the forehead like that..good for u girl.

Actually,I think I wld enjoy hearing u moan and seeing u legs shake thru pleasure.

But that’s just my bonus.

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
8:04 am

Morning peeps…

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
8:09 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

“When words and action do not equal the same, or when one gives you excuses instead of a straight answer is a great clue that they are pretending.”
-Lee that is a great RED FLAG that should not be ignored.

Can you ever really know if they are faking?

My take on this is that TIME will tell, no one can fake anything forever!!!

Celisea

May 15th, 2013
8:22 am

Faking it huh? No, I can’t recall ever faking an orgasm….ever, again, that I can recall. Why do that? If I don’t get mine, trust me, I’m not going to put on a pony show and pretend I did. I’ve said it many times on here, every time won’t be “the” time. I know how to “get mine” though, no point in faking it, I’m going for it. Every now and again, it’s about compromise and obliging. I’m in just like you, I don’t like anybody enough to go through the motion but not come to what the end yields. IMO, a great lover will teach you this. Well, I’m no longer in school and IMO maturity comes in every facet. Know your body, how it works, what to tell him when something does not work….so forth and so on. But for all that’s good, don’t walk around cheesing and grinning and you don’t have reason…lol IJS Anyway, I get upset going through the motion and then BAM, nothing! Naw, I can’t do it.

Now, faking with other things and other areas, yeah I’ve done it (it’s okay, you can judge me :) ). Maybe I shouldn’t say “faking” it, but more so how (some) women operate. What do I mean by that? How can I ’splain this? Men think they “know” women. You may know basic reactions, that we talk alot, that we like shopping, that we get “off” when aunt flow comes,what we tell you, etc etc etc, but most don’t “know” women or what they’re dealing with. I can think back over past relationships and interactions and how easy it was to get what I wanted or accomplish something and I don’t mean “using” folks, but “moving” him. From taking the “honey I was wrong” route to stroking his ego (and understand me when I say this), when needed or at the right time to smoozing up to him to get back in when after ticking him off, etc etc etc. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do the fake fake fake, but I do believe you have to be smart when dealing with men. IMO using your womanly wiles, sometimes intentional, sometimes not. I get tickled when a dude think he’s “knows” something but you gave it to him…lol Again, I’m not talking about deception or the low down dirty, I’m talking the mechanisms and dynamics of a relationship, that men don’t often reeeeaaallly know women. I guess that’s why the mars venus thing goes on.

IJS, orgasm is the eeeeaaasssiest thing a dude should know, it’s all the other stuff that bamboozles him….hahahahaha

Gotta get my bath and get out of here….BBL

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 15th, 2013
8:54 am

Morning peeps…. I recently had an incident that fits this issue to a tee……. I met a person, we talked and all is well.. The first weekend, after we met I had obligations that prevented me from speaking to her for two days..I explained the situation and she went to left field… “You lied!!! you went two days without talking to me!!” “You are pretending” She presented what soooo many women do… They go from from zero the 100 and then are surprised when there is a curve in the road. Sometimes isht happens and it not about you……..

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
9:08 am

“Or worse, pretending they care about you just to get you in bed?” – had to laugh at this because this might be ok for some men (lol).

Courtside ~ any woman who goes left because you haven’t spoken to her in two days has bigger issues and CLINGLY is one of them. Probably may need a man to help with her identity crisis.

A person can fake all they want because if the recipient is paying attention, time will show their true colors. Pay attention! As far as faking an O, I don’t know what an “over the top” moaning and groaning session would alert someone, but if your gut is telling you something isn’t right, get your oar out the water and look her dead in her eyes and say WTF are you doing?

Morning!

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
9:09 am

Celisea ~ I believe you were two sentences shy of a fine.

disco

May 15th, 2013
9:26 am

good morning. y’all are at it already. lol. re faking it. I don’t think it’s always necessarily about getting your man. sometimes faking it is just all the “ooh – ahhing” and “say my name” foolishness. lol.

so last night I was having dinner with a friend who has been married for close to 30 years. she wanted to be encouraging and went on about my meeting mr. right. I wanted to hit her in the face with the condiment tray. ijs.

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
9:35 am

MsAtl

May 15th, 2013
9:37 am

Morning All!

If I discover that the person I am seeing is pretending that the sex is great then a conversation is warranted so that we can uncover the issue and try to make it more enjoyable for both of us. If I discover they are pretending to care just to get me in bed, it is time to jet. Good bye.
In the past I have ignored my intuition to my detriment. I am learning to be still more and just pay attention.

Leggs- “if your gut is telling you something isn’t right, get your oar out the water and look her dead in her eyes and say WTF are you doing?” I’M DONE!!! (drops mike and exits)

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
9:45 am

That’s the key, MsAtl, have a conversation. If both parties can do this and come up with solutions w/o feelings being too hurt, who knows the next session may be off the chart with sincerity. That’s an aprodisiac (sp?) in itself.

disco

May 15th, 2013
9:55 am

leggs – lol. here I go representing for team blue. gee-moe-nelli, if you have to put all that emotional mumbo jumbo into sex no wonder the pure d rough and raw physical ain’t hitting on nothing.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 15th, 2013
9:58 am

LOL @ disco and her Whats love got to do with it????? Put on a little R Kelly and get RAW!!!!! :)

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:03 am

court – re baby making music. one time during the deed (with the ipod on shuffle) Maxwell came on (don’t remember which song). dude stopped what he was doing to declare that it was his jam. naturally I bust out laughing.

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
10:05 am

“if you have to put all that emotional mumbo jumbo into sex ” – What are you saying, that no need to have a convo about the issue?

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 15th, 2013
10:05 am

lol..really disco?????? The real playa move would have been to flip you over and REALLY break you off!!!!!

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
10:11 am

I agree Courtside, not stop and blurt that out…time to tame the jungle (lol).

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:12 am

leggs – I’m just putting sex at face value. pure and unadulterated. you’re either good together or you’re not.

court – really. it was funny as heck. guess a person’s jam will do that to them.

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
10:18 am

-Disco LOL! I take it that you didn’t want to hear that encouraging word from your friend?

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:19 am

Court – I’m sure ole girl probably previously dealt with a lying shady dude that would go AWOL from time to time. So when you didn’t talk to her in 2 days, those same feelings of “Uh-oh where have I experienced this before”, kicked in and she automatically assumed you were displaying characteristics of that no-good dude. lol

kimmie

May 15th, 2013
10:21 am

Morning All!!

I’m giving this topic a “whatever”. And I’m with Disco on it – either you’re good together or you’re not.

It also makes another good case for taking your time and getting to know someone. If they are pretending to care just to get you into bed – well one can only fake care for so long. If you’re eyes are open you can see it. And really, what grown folks out of high school still feel the need to do that just to get some? It’s too easy to get a FWB or one-nighter for that. So if you’re still hanging out with someone until they give it up, you are there because you want to be!

Okay who watched The Game last night?

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:22 am

moni – I don’t even know if I’d call it an encouraging word. to me it’s that typical mess that married folks say to single folks or that parents/grandparents lecture about. all that “when you stop looking” mess. naw, I wasn’t really in the mood for hearing it.

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:23 am

kimmie – I watched it and had hopes that some great writing would kick in. I was left unfulfilled (way to tie in the topic) again. lol

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
10:24 am

-Disco That’s totally understandable, although it probably was coming from a good place. :-)

Celisea

May 15th, 2013
10:25 am

Outside of being able to talk to your boo about your “have nots”, what’s the big deal. I’m gonna get a little crass here (so ’scuse me), but if you know how to “sit” right or “rock it”, ummm you’re bound to get one. IJS Where’s all the fake ooohing and aaahhhing??? :shock:

I’m just sooooooooo loving Blue and Kiera…don’t stop git it, git it :)

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:26 am

she wanted to be encouraging and went on about my meeting mr. right. I wanted to hit her in the face with the condiment tray

disco – I feel you on that…Sometimes that ‘oh well that just means mr. right is still ou there’ mess sounds just like that, SOME MESS. I guess folks just don’t know what to say sometimes…but can’t blame them for trying i suppose.

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:26 am

kimmie – it was a struggle but I stayed up and watched. didn’t want to be left out today. lol.

slim – you crazy. unfulfilled. I agree with you. same for let’s stay together. first season I enjoyed the show. this season I watch just because I like the characters. they don’t even seem to have a story line this season, just random janky azz episodes.

moni – mmm hmmmm. I’m sure it was coming from the very best place.

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
10:26 am

-Kimmie/SlimNu I forced myself to stay awake to watch The Game and outside of my new fav couple, Blue & Kierra, I was disappointed. The writing leaves much to be desired. . . I continue to watch hoping that it will get better.

Celisea

May 15th, 2013
10:26 am

Okay, I came in and skimmmed…seriously So maybe I missed something. Maybe I should go back and read….lol

kimmie

May 15th, 2013
10:26 am

Disco – I’m with you again, that ish was irritating when I was single. Everyone just felt they needed to “diagnose” my “problem”, and not only married folks but even other singles!

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:28 am

slim / moni – especially when I wasn’t even discussing my dating life. I mentioned a vacation I was considering and she was like ooh maybe you’ll meet mr. right. I’m like how did we go from maybe I’ll go somewhere to maybe mr. right will be there too??? some people just have romance on the brain.

kimmie

May 15th, 2013
10:30 am

Slim/Moni/Disco – Count me amongst the unfulfilled. This show has jumped the shark a long time ago. And I love Blue & Kiera, but saw scenes from the next episode where Blue starts tripping!

Celisea

May 15th, 2013
10:33 am

if you have to put all that emotional mumbo jumbo into sex no wonder the pure d rough and raw physical ain’t hitting on nothing.

Emotionless sex is the worst. I’m not with that. That’s what we call just effing. Sorry no can do. Yep, I want mine with emotions all up in there….IJS

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
10:33 am

disco ~ if sex is the only thing not at it’s best in the relationship, would you throw the relationship away or would you take time to discuss what might be wrong?

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
10:33 am

-Disco I agree, some people will use any conversation topic to bring up romance, LOL!

-Kimmie I saw that preview as well and looked at the tv with the major side eye!!!

Celisea

May 15th, 2013
10:35 am

And if it’s just effing, what else you got?

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:36 am

disco – You know i’ve been hearing that a lot more recently. I was sitting here like, who da fykc is Mr. Right and what’s so great about him. Is he something like the Lochness Monster, Big Foot, UFO’s, etc….Then on top of that, I have 3 cousins that are all preggo now. (just found out the cousin that just recently engaged is preggers as well as her sister. So my mom texts me because she heard the news and says, “No pressure but I can’t wait until you have your first crumb snat cher.” :roll:

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:39 am

MissMoni/kimmie – Yeah I saw that preview too, so side eye to him acting mad because he doesn’t want that kind of pressure (HUH?) and side eye to the Tasha/Rick Fox/Pookie bs. wtfe :roll:

Leggs

May 15th, 2013
10:42 am

Sometimes just “effing” while in a relationship is good, but if not in a relationship and that’s all you’re doing w/no emotions attached, your nothing but a depository. Point, blank, period.

MissMoni

May 15th, 2013
10:44 am

-Slim/Kimmie I’m so TIRED of Tasha’s triangle! Like I’ve been saying she’s too old for that mess but apparently age doesn’t equal maturity level.

-Slim In reference to your 10:36 response to Disco, my mom has NEVER asked about my “love life” but has asked me twice since my birthday in February! I’m like seriously Mama, when there is something that I want to share I will. Until then please stop asking me every couple of months.

kimmie

May 15th, 2013
10:45 am

Cel – I can’t do emotionless either. But, if someone is faking caring just to get it, can’t be much emotion there. They are just in it fore the physical.

Leggs – I get what you are asking Disco, about talking. I guess I’m one that isn’t going to do alot of “talking about it” if it’s a newer relationship. If it’s not a health issue or stress, I’m apt to conclude that we’re just not compatible in that area. I’m not patient enought to do alot of talking and analysing.

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:47 am

leggs – I hate to say it but if we discuss anything it might be opening up the relationship.

C – re just effing. well, that’s pretty much what I meant by pure, unadulterated sex. no emotional mumbo jumbo messing up the rotation. just attraction and skills.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 15th, 2013
10:48 am

Slim, I reached out to her in an attempt to clear the air if for no other reason than to part company on a good note… She asked me not to contact her again so I was like ” OK…good luck”… Hate it that some previous clown has salted the grown for any new guy that comes along.. At any rate, I hope one day she realizes that not everything said to her is a lie… Women would do a lot better if y’all knew how to let it go and not try to stick a new dude with an old lie….

disco

May 15th, 2013
10:51 am

slim – in blue’s defense, dealing with virgin issues can be a lot of pressure. she should have told him. heck, he might have grabbed his tuna surprise and rolled out leaving that for the next somebody to deal with.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

May 15th, 2013
10:52 am

Wait a minute,,,,, How id recreational sex any different than say….. Playing tennis or being down with ” Black Girls Run”???? Its an enjoyable physical release …. If folks are conducting themselves like responsible adults and being upfront about what happening, then I can not see what the issue is……

SlimNu

May 15th, 2013
10:52 am

MissMoni – Tasha gonna have a pregnancy scare and not know who the daddy is lol

Court – Yeah I feel ya homie. Oh well…