City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for April, 2013

Career keeping you single?

Many  of us work really hard and  long hours every week.  This can obviously make dating a bit of a challenge.   Carving out time for a social life is important, though.  All work and no play keeps perpetually single!

There are other ways that our jobs can impact our dating options.  My friend Carl makes extra money as a bartender.  A lot of his shift is spent shamelessly flirting with women, much to his girlfriend’s chagrin.  His last girlfriend could not handle it and he met his current girlfriend while tending bar.  I wonder how long before she also takes issue with his workplace flirting.

Have you ever dated someone who worked way too many hours?  Was it a real struggle to get them to leave work?  How do you manage to balance work and play so that you get go on dates?

What would you do if the person you were seeing had a job that made you uncomfortable?  Do you bring it up or respect their decision to hustle for money they way that they see fit?

By Wise Diva, …

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Dating out of pity?

I was having dinner with my friend Ellen recently and we got on the topic of dating without guilt.  Ellen has this bad habit on taking on  head cases or “projects” when it comes to dating.  I think she qualifies for saint status, at this point.  She does not know when to cut her losses and move on.  The red flags are there, yet she decides to give it time.

While Ellen has a big heart and enormous patience, I would say that most of her dating is done out of pity.   I see a lot of single people that do this.  It sort of becomes this savior complex because the relationship is about sympathy.  Not chemistry, not sex, not even money.  When a person is dating someone out of pity, they have an overwhelming sense of guilt about dumping them.

I admit that I have done this before and it did not end well.  I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.  I tried to ignore the lack of chemistry or connection.  The reality is, though, you do both of you a disservice if you date out …

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Atlanta is the Nerdiest City?

We may have a lot of strip clubs and Waffle House restaurants but that’s not what got us named the nerdiest city in America! According to Movoto Real Estate,  Atlanta offers a virtual Nerdvana to those who are into gaming, tech, sci-fi conventions, etc.

Obviously, my first thought was how this impacts our dating scene.  Sidebar: I have been on a hot nerd hunt since I moved here and sometimes they can be oblivious to shameless flirting.  The question is, though, are nerds having a hard time getting dates?

If anything, I believe that a lot of people feel compelled to downplay their nerd quotient so they can appear “cooler” or more hip.  I am proud to be a nerd with a love of science and tech, but some ladies don’t highlight their intelligence.  Is it because girl nerds aren’t attractive or desirable?

Have you ever downplayed your intelligence to appear cooler?  Do you  think that showing your full nerd personality is too risky?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta …

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Are you opposed to Dutch?

Earlier this week, we talked about how cheap dates have their place.  I then received an email asking about my opinion on “going Dutch” or paying half of the date.  So here it is: I don’t like having Dutch sprung on me.  If we are paying our own way, I prefer to have this information beforehand.

I think the people who oppose Dutch usually don’t like being asked out then being forced to pay their own way.  If we agree to do this ahead of time, it is different then going out and expecting someone to pay for you.

My opinion of a guy would change if he asks me out then expects me to pay my own way.  It’s hard to explain but I believe that if a guy does not want to take me out and pay my way, he does not think of me romantically.  I don’t mind paying my own way in a relationship, but I am old school when it comes to paying my way as part of dating.

What do you think? Are you against going Dutch?  Do you think a guy who asks a woman to pay her half of the bill sees her as a …

Continue reading Are you opposed to Dutch? »

Dating tip: Less conversation?

My friend Brian had a first date recently and he told me what many men often say about first dates: “She talked way too much,” which is apparently a huge turn off.  I always thought the first couple of dates are supposed to be “getting to know you” dates, so shouldn’t talking be required?  Well, it depends.  If you talk too much about the wrong thing, it can be a bad thing.

For instance, you talk too much about yourself, your exes, or reality television.  Brian said he would have preferred that she talked less if her conversation was going to consistently be, and I’m quoting here, “wack conversation,” end quote.  If you have to talk less to impress  someone, I think it is a bad sign.  What do you think?

Do you ever wish that your date talked less?  If you take conversation out of the equation, what else should you do on the first couple of dates?

My buddy Brian said that his best dates are conversation “light” and heavy on activity that lets you show your personality. …

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Dating: Are you delusional?

There are a lot of single people who have a healthy dose of confidence, which is great.  There are others who could use a little reality check and some humility.  Some of the most shallow, nit-picky people with the laundry list of requirements are not really in a position to be demanding perfection.   Actually, no one should demand perfection because that is not a real thing.

I am always perplexed by the delusional: You have the husky men who frown upon women with curves and a little fluffiness.  You have women with no ambition and bad credit who only date highly successful men with A+ credit.  There is the guy who has slept with an entire zip code who decides he wants to marry a virgin.   You get the idea, right?

I believe self-awareness and self-actualization is absolutely imperative on the dating scene.  Especially in Atlanta.  This city is full of people who believe their own hype.  Get high on their own supply and become straight up delusional.  These people are …

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Cheap dates have their place

There is something to be said about simplicity.  Really extravagant dates have their place but sometimes all you need is a really great chemistry and time.  This is why I constantly tell my guy friends to find a balance in selecting things to do for women.  Many women can appreciate a well-rounded guy.  We don’t like “gimmicks” guy who needs flashy cars, sycophant hype men, or obnoxious gestures of romance.   Those gestures that only prove you have a handy American Express card and little imagination to go with it.

When you only have personality and charm to present to your object of desire, will they still be just as smitten with you?  It is an important question because few people behave the same way they did when they first met and pursued their mate.  The thing that draws them in can’t or shouldn’t just be the money that is spent to impress them.  Just like sex is not enough to sustain a good relationship, money won’t  keep the happy around either.

Have you ever …

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What is a date, anyway?

You would think that the most fundamental thing on the dating scene would be uncomplicated, but alas it is not.  Some people don’t really know what constitutes a date.   At what point is it considered a date?  If you share a meal?  When you spend money? Does the coffeehouse meet up count?  Do you think an invite to someone’s house is a date?

If we can’t even agree on a date, how to we manage to get them?

Do you consider it a date if it happens in the daytime?  Do you think that a date only happens after someone is asked out?

What qualifies as a date and what doesn’t?  When you don’t have a solid plan for the date, is it a date or spontaneously hanging out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Friends and relationships don’t mix

My buddy Mike is in a relationship with a really nice young lady but he has constantly complained about her friends.  His girlfriend is the type that “lives by committee” so in many instances, her she listens to her friend’s advice.  This leads to many arguments about sharing too much information with her friends.

I believe this is partly attributed to his girlfriend’s age.   She is younger than he is and is not as experienced in relationships.  The problem arises when her friends dole out bad advice that not only does not help, it makes it worse.

While I don’t think this is a deal breaker, Mike thinks that it is.  He is ready to dump her and cut his losses. Would you consider dumping someone if their friends interfered with your relationship too much?

Have you ever dated someone who let outside people influence your relationship?  How did you handle it?

Why do you think people let friends inside the inner workings of their relationships?

Where do you draw the line on …

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Dating: When can I see you again?

I tell my guy friends all the time that when they meet someone that excites them, it is important to be consistent with them.   I don’t know how many times women have complained about guys who make are flaky, unreliable, and inconsistent.  When men take the “half effort” approach, it is hard to for women to take men seriously.

One of our readers emailed about a particular guy who she recently met.  He started off in hot pursuit of her.  Called, sent her regular texts, and asked her out.  They seemed to have a great connection and a lot of chemistry.   Then he started to withdraw a little.  She realized that he hadn’t asked her what she loved to hear “When can I see you again?”

It is highly likely that he has met  someone else that sparks his interest more.  This is quite common on the dating scene, though.   When there is not a relationship to end, a lot of people don’t feel obligated to tell you that they have moved on.  Is it the right thing to do? Yes, it is …

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