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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: What will my friends think?

There comes a point in every single person’s dating career when you worry about what your friends think about your date.  Of course, we can claim to be adults who don’t answer to anyone.  We like, date, and love who we want and opinions of others should not matter.  The thing is, though, opinions of some of our friends do matter.

I don’t know if I would dump a guy if he didn’t win my friends over.  I would probably take a second look at what they see that I don’t.  Let’s be honest,  we are all susceptible to having clouded judgment from love, sex, or lust.

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself  “What will my friends think?”

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked?

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

114 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
11:21 am

Hi Leggs! That may be the problem for some folks, they got their “friends” sleeping in the bed with them, LOL!!!

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
11:22 am

My friends wld tell me,”Tee,thats a h oe u had at the functon” or “where u get that h o e from” :lol: ..somethin along those lines….

yea, always had friends who shoot str8 like that….

Thats what friends are for…

Wldnt want a friend ior my friends to let me slip,”dating” a chic that they know is on rotation and then me be that only one person not in on the knowledge.. :lol:

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
11:23 am

MissMoni – The jumpsuit??? Me too, meee too.

Disco – See that right there ain’t right. A person should NEVER been with someone that’s threatening and abusive. I get a man being “the man” and I respect that, but that does NOT come with abuse. Just wow on the parent being told to get a room…

And every good man knows you don’t have to control a woman. You be the man and she’ll fall in line.

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
11:29 am

Moni- I can try the whole self-defense argument, but it depends on how badly you kick his butt. I may be in the cell with you; I don’t do the whole physical abuse thing. My ex & I were arguing once & next thing I knew, I punched him in the face. He looked at me crazy & asked why. I told him “because you lifted your hand and you know I do NOT do abuse.” He said, I was trying to take something out of your hair. Me- “Oh!” I mean really! Why would someone think to take something out of your hair during an argument???

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
11:31 am

I’m watching “Their Eyes Were Watching God”…one of the FEW movies Halle plays in that I actually like.

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
11:31 am

I have always believed that no woman is bigger than my friends or relatives(who i wld have known much longer anyway), unless she becomes my relation herself(wife).

If she was not my permanent woman(wife), then anybody was free to criticise….she was “on show”, so to speak to see if she wld mesh into my life.

so yea, I dropped a lot of chics that were not a fit.

Leggs

April 26th, 2013
11:37 am

“…one chick told me how her dude punched her in the side of the face while she was driving”

For some reason, I felt that punch just now. No can do. Relationship is over as soon as I get to safety, if I make it there.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
11:38 am

-MsAtl I’m LOL at you punching him in the face & he was just trying to take something out of your hair. Lesson learned: NO sudden moves during an argument, LOL!!!

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
11:41 am

Exiled- There is nothing wrong with you dropping someone who is not a good fit for you. I would not drop someone simply because a friend or family member did not like them, but I may do a check to see if I am wearing blinders.

Moni- Seriously! I thought he had lost his mind for a moment when I saw that hand reach up. I had spent a year representing abused women and I was not about to become one. Yes, lesson learned.

Leggs

April 26th, 2013
11:44 am

Hey there MissMoni. I don’t mind voyeurism, but other than that, friends stay out the bedroom (lol).

Dang disco! She actually told her parents they would have to get a room because her bf didn’t them staying at HER place. WOW! I can’t even imagine anyone having control over me like that. My parents can’t stay w/me because you say so. That’s not happening while my feet are above the ground…never will a bf tell me where my parents or my friends can stay. Looking to my left and right, where they do that? Women w/o backbone makes me want to slap you into reality.

MsAtl ~ you literally “beat him to the punch.” Good for you!

disco

April 26th, 2013
11:45 am

atl – I hear you but just so you know, taking one hit doesn’t make you an abused woman especially if you handle business after receiving the hit. abused women are those chicks that take the hits day in and day out, month in and month out, year in and year out. anybody can get hit once (goodness knows I’ve been waiting on my lick a long time – lol). it’s the decisions you make after that seal your fate.

disco

April 26th, 2013
11:47 am

leggs – yep. this chick was grade A dingbat. I mentioned her stories before. in particular when she gave (lent – lol) a dude money that she’d been saving all summer to take her daughter school shopping. like $2000. naturally dude didn’t repay the money. guess whose kid didn’t have new clothes or supplies that fall? this chick is so bad at one point I joked about pimping her out for commission.

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
11:47 am

I would not drop someone simply because a friend or family member did not like them, but I may do a check to see if I am wearing blinders.

MsAtl

that is an oversimplification..which uall ladies like to do..nit picking and reducing it to “just because blah blah”………

No man is an Island..if somebody ..ur relative friend etc says something..u owe it to urself to check it out..not “:just because blah blah blah….”

Thats kinda like a fools prde,dontch u think?

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
11:49 am

Single & Happy

April 26th, 2013
11:49 am

If your friends influence you in your relationship do they all so influence you in other aspects in your life? One thing me and my “friends” always stress to each other is just because it’s not what I like doesn’t mean that you won’t like it either. YOU always have to do what best for you. .

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
11:52 am

And I’ll add, if my parents coming are an issue or I think will be too much like “up in our business”, then I’ll or we will decide together on those kinds of decisions. My point being, it ain’t gon be cause some dude is exerting his power and authority over me….not in THAT kind of way. But, I wouldn’t expect that to be an issue, cause frankly I can’t think of any reason why my parents or his can’t come for a short visit. Like I said, if there’s a reason they can’t stay we’ll decide amicably on that.

I don’t think getting hit one time would “constitute” abuse, but it’s dang sho the opening for broaching that kind of behavior. I will say I do know of dudes that’s “tried” the woman and she happily snapped him back in place, thus no history of getting slap around cause it rained or something. Still and even so, I’m not sticking around for after one lick, cause for every chick getting her he knocked into a wall, it started with one initial lick…

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
11:55 am

“anybody can get hit once (goodness knows I’ve been waiting on my lick a long time – lol)”

-Disco I’ve never been hit by a man & I pray that it NEVER happens because I’ll be beside Celisea & MsAtl in the cell with the jumpsuit!!! As an Army Vet my instincts when in a threatening situation are to kill you before you kill me.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
11:57 am

Exiled – Not fools pride at all, and not an oversimplification. See one minute, you guys are complaining because you think women tell too much of their personal to their friends and have them all up in the relationship. Now you’re saying we “owe it to ourselves” to listen to what they have to say. What Atl said is the best of both worlds. She won’t dump dude out the gate, but she will consider what they say to be sure her friend sees something she’s not seeing. Is she hating or helping, depending on the friend/relative.

I think you just like weak women that can’t think for themselves, Ex!!

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
11:57 am

Still and even so, I’m not sticking around for after one lick,

Celisea…..no forgiveness ha..Celisea…..??

Did he just give u the lick from nowhere..u were not running ur mouth either… also? what ws ur contribution to the lick?

what wld Jesus do?

off to catch my plane..wl read ur response latr

disco

April 26th, 2013
11:58 am

C – you opened the door for one of my favorite family stories. grandfather comes home drunk early in the marriage and slaps my grandmother. she lets him go to sleep, packs up her kids (she had like 4 at the time, 12 by the end), takes kids to a sitter. she came home, tied my grandfather to the bed, beat the brakes off of him and then she called the police on herself. she said she did that because she was afraid of how he might react once untied. lol. police came. untied gramps, arrested grandma. grandma spent the weekend in jail. the whole thing made the papers. grandpa was embarrassed by his buddies and co-workers who saw that his woman whooped his tail. grandma says that was the first, last, only time he ever raised a hand to her.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:00 pm

my instincts when in a threatening situation are to kill you before you kill me

Exactly. I can repent once you’re six feet under.

My cousin’s mom and pops were married 62 years…beautiful marriage. She told us a couple of weeks ago (we were reminiscing) that her dad told her he came home “feeling good” when they first married, waaaay back when and tried to pull that trick of smacking her. She said he told her in the middle of the night, my aunt awakened him (mind you he was all groggy and reflect off), said she softly tapped him and called his man. He opened his eyes, half out of it and she had a bat!!! Said had he not “snapped out of it” and moved quick, she would have taken his head off. Needless to say, that was his first and last time pulling that one. From then on, it was all good…lol

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:00 pm

my instincts when in a threatening situation are to kill you before you kill me

Exactly. I can repent once you’re six feet under.

My cousin’s mom and pops were married 62 years…beautiful marriage. She told us a couple of weeks ago (we were reminiscing) that her dad told her he came home “feeling good” when they first married, waaaay back when and tried to pull that trick of smacking her. She said he told her in the middle of the night, my aunt awakened him (mind you he was all groggy and reflect off), said she softly tapped him and called his man. He opened his eyes, half out of it and she had a bat!!! Said had he not “snapped out of it” and moved quick, she would have taken his head off. Needless to say, that was his first and last time pulling that one. From then on, it was all good…lol

disco

April 26th, 2013
12:02 pm

C – my father pulled that crap on my mother early on. my mother has 11 siblings. well poor unfortunate father of mine, we’ll just say he still has a spot in the back of his head where hair won’t grow and it’s been more than 30 years since he took that blow to the dome. lol. my aunties (not my uncles – lol) wore him out.

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
12:02 pm

I think you just like weak women that can’t think for themselves, Ex!

@Kimmie. NO,.i just like a woman thats independently rational in thought…..not dependent on her friends(mouthing everything to them) but also Not Big headed..(im independent..while tripping and making mistakes because u independent)..

Even myself, a friend tells me something, I am not gonna say, okay,shes gone..my response is,”im gon check it out and i wont say because my friend Kimmie said so…which weak minded girls usually end up saying…it becaome a vicious gossip circle. :lol:

ok im out…

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
12:03 pm

-Disco THIS is the BEST story ever!!! I’m literally LOL at my desk!!! Grandma made her point and Grandpa learned his lesson.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:03 pm

MMeello – As bad as I feel, that was my laugh so far today….”what would Jesus do”

Oh, and that wasn’t me, man!! You should blog know me enough to know I’on play that. I wish a dude would hit me. Naw ain’t no forgiveness but it won’t end that easily. I’m going all the way, starting with filing charges….

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
12:04 pm

Exiled- Gee, you’re gonna make me do the longer post when I am trying to go to lunch? I am saying that my friends’ impression of someone I am dating will not make me stop dating that person. However, I know we have a tendency to overlook (or fail to see) certain things when we like someone. That is why I would at least listen to their concerns and check them out.
Gotta go.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
12:04 pm

what ws ur contribution to the lick?

This curls my toenails, this mentality that, like a child, you must have done something that justifies a man laying his hands on you!!

Danm!!!!!

Leggs

April 26th, 2013
12:06 pm

“I can repent once you’re six feet under.” – Too funny, but so true.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:06 pm

disco – Kudos to grandma and mom… I’m a firm believer in respecting my man, but voilence and hitting and abuse (even to a potty mouth) ain’t got jack to do with that. No way I’m dealing with an abusive mouth or physical abuse. I’ve blocked dudes on an instant where I didn’t like the tone.So you can imagine in relationships if a dude tried me like that.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
12:08 pm

Exiled, my opinion still stands. Once you a grown Azz woman out ya daddy & mama’s house you can make ya own damn decisions, and yeah, make mistakes. That’s not being a Big Head, that’s called being GROWN!!! And decide whose advice you want to listen to or not!

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
12:11 pm

I ought to know by now not to let Exile’s dribble get me worked up!! LOL!!

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
12:12 pm

-Celisea I’m with you on the potty mouth also. I believe that if he feels comfortable enough to cuss you out, then he’ll feel comfortable enough to hit you.

Beautiful

April 26th, 2013
12:15 pm

Rec’d a text msg last night from a friend (lets call him Jamal) of my ex’s. After I left my ex, Jamal tried stepping in. gross! Jamal telling me how he felt about me, how he wanted me back in high school WHATEVER!, how he can keep me warm at night. I texted my ex and asked ‘can you let Jamal know blah blah blah’?. He said he couldn’t do that due to the shortage of favorable women in our area LOL. I took it as he didn’t care and still mad at me. I texted back to Jamal saying because of all that have happened and how everything is a mess and how I don’t even consider you a friend anymore let alone dating you EVER! *there’s a lot of this story missing… too long*

In this case I do consider what my friends think. I would look straight crazy dating this guy.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:17 pm

MissMoni – Exactly. I can talk crap with the best of them, but that’s not the dynamic of my relationships. I live ebbing and flowing and meshing in peace. But you can best believe if a dude wanna take me there before I end it with him, what he dish is what I serve back.

And no, drama ain’t worth it or that deep, but I’m not one for playing little miss doormat. And like I said, that’s the quickest way to get your walking papers. Got no time for abuse

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
12:19 pm

like ebbing not “live”

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
12:21 pm

Ok…Pop back in and the first thing I see is MsAtl. giving my man a “1 timer” strait to the grill…… LOL…I gotta ask, when you let the punch go, did you fall back into a regular boxing stance???? :)

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
12:25 pm

There is a lady in our office that gets into it with her hubby all the time ….. And every so often she will show up with a partial hand print on her face or obvious fighting bruises on her arms…. Her excuse is He fights like that because he loves her so hard and so deep that can’t express it any other way…..

Exiled

April 26th, 2013
12:44 pm

@Kimmie….watch when ur kids are playing soccer…there is always some players that are rough,cause infringements etc…and some players retaliate. More often than not the referee will whistle for the retaliating player,not the original offendee…same with pity moufed chics…they poty mouf and abuse errday…..it’s a trait they just have…then one day,it gnaws on the guy..the potty mouf is giving him too much hypertension and angst…

Licks her just One time!

She hollers All the way to the popo

See….poty moufing adnauseam is abuse too..

But I must admit…poty moufs got fiya boot e y!

disco

April 26th, 2013
12:47 pm

ex – my little niece in ATL recently got in trouble for retaliating. little boy on the school bus was picking on her. she asked him to stop, he kept on and she went over the seat on him and had him hemmed up. lol. poor kid. got beat up by a girl in front of his classmates. the school acknowledged that the boy started it but my niece got kicked off the bus for escalating it. oh well.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
12:56 pm

Exiled – I just hate the justification alot give that “she must have said something”. And yeah, if it’s that fiya bootey that’s keeping you with a woman that takes you there all the time, well then you deserve whatever happens to you. Some dudes have a short fuse that all it takes is one look wrong to make them go off. Either way, punk, punk, punk is all I have to say. They aren’t going around hitting another man for flipping off at the mouth.

Robert

April 26th, 2013
1:23 pm

“What will my friends think?”

When I was a young Man (28+) I dated older Women (35-40). Once, during the holiday’s I brought a date home to meet my Mother. She was 38 yrs old, smart and very pretty. When I introduced her to my Mother I could tell something was wrong by my Mother’s reaction. Later on in the evening my Mother pulled me to the side and asked me “how old was my date”? She appears much older than 38 yrs old. Women can pick-up on the little things and ask the right questions such as how many children do you have? How many times have you been married? Why are dating a Man 10 yrs younger than you? What are your intentions with my Son?

I care about what my Mother thinks, and I really do not care what my friends think.

Robert

April 26th, 2013
1:37 pm

@kimmie, Celisea, MissMoni, Leggs, MsAtl, etc.,

In my family we don’t play. If you are a female member of my family and a Man abuses you in any way (verbally, physically) and we find out, the problem is no longer yours to control. He becomes my problem. I will make him an offer he could not refuse. If a Man does not understand the consequences of his actions he deserves to suffer the consequences.

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
1:39 pm

Court- Re your 12:21: I didn’t even pay attention to my stance. I just knew I was not going to get hit. My sister had been in an abusive relationship and I learned from that.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2013
1:50 pm

It’s soooooo beautiful outside. Didn’t want to come back after lunch. So how’s everyone doing?

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
1:58 pm

Hey Dreams. Doing well. Yes, it is absolutely beautiful outside. Went to Bangkok for lunch. Good food.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2013
2:04 pm

Went to Bangkok for lunch. Good food.
MsAtl Thai? I love Thai. I actually had Korean Mexican for lunch, yes you heard right. lol Spot called Hankook Taqueria. Good stuff.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
2:07 pm

Rob – Exactly…that’s what I’m talking about. When I was talking with my sister earlier this week and about the bum she was married to, she told me when she was getting her stuff to go, that my brother beat the breaks off him. I sooooo did not know that. That was funny as heck to me. That dude but the “ummmm” in bum….seriously.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
2:09 pm

Hi Dreams! I’m doing great! :-) I had a BIG homemade Spinach & Shrimp salad for lunch. Just got the word that we’re getting of 1 hour early!!! :-D

disco

April 26th, 2013
2:11 pm

robert – sounds good in theory but some women just simply want to be in abusive relationships. no point in you and all the other men in your family getting locked up behind a woman who will continue to be with a man that beats on her. you can’t save the ones that don’t want to be saved.