accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: What will my friends think?

There comes a point in every single person’s dating career when you worry about what your friends think about your date.  Of course, we can claim to be adults who don’t answer to anyone.  We like, date, and love who we want and opinions of others should not matter.  The thing is, though, opinions of some of our friends do matter.

I don’t know if I would dump a guy if he didn’t win my friends over.  I would probably take a second look at what they see that I don’t.  Let’s be honest,  we are all susceptible to having clouded judgment from love, sex, or lust.

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself  “What will my friends think?”

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked?

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

114 comments Add your comment

Lee

April 26th, 2013
6:44 am

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself “What will my friends think?” No.

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked? Yes

A good friend is someone who is there to listen, encourage, and be there for you. They do not run your life but encourage you to do and be your best, so when a bad apple comes along the friends can say what they want, but its your road to take or not (not theirs).
TGIF

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
7:13 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!! :-D

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself “What will my friends think?” No

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked? No

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations? Yes, I would listen to their observations to see whether or not they are valid.

Some people are just outright critical ALL of the time, so you have to know your friends and their dispositions before you take everything they say to heart. A good circle of friends will often times voice their opinions if they notice that something is just not quite right.Then you have those that will plainly see something wrong and not say a mumbling word. Once again, know your friends and don’t walk around with your eyes wide shut.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
8:02 am

There comes a point in every single person’s dating career when you worry about what your friends think about your date.

Diva, gotta be honest here, in my youth I’ve been silly enough to wonder if he was “cute” enough to one or two close gfs…lol Chaulk it up to youth.

During the time I was hanging out with the 10 year older dude (cause my gf was trying give me reasons why I should), him being too short, older and too dang grouchy, I took her by his place of employment (prior to him starting his own business) for her to scope him out…lololol I know, bad bad Celisea. He never suspected a thing. Just thought I was comng through.

Outside of that pettiness and waaaay back when, no I’ve not REAAAALLY cared, honestly. I make my own decision as it’s my life, and I will be the one to deal with whatever outcome…good bad or indifferent. I’ve been pretty levelheaded (mostly) during my dating years so, no I don’t worry about what other folks think. Shoot, I don’t worry about what other folks think with none “boo” related issues. You’d make yourself gray living like that. Same thing too, in how I walk the walk. Ain’t but one God, one heaven one hell. No way I’m sweating anything from any person that won’t have bearings one way or the other.

I’m working from home today, not feeling my “bestest.”

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
8:07 am

Now, when I SHOULD have listened??? Was when folks tried to tell me NOT to spend or waste one second of my time with the kid’s dad. That’s the only time I can recall, woulda shoulda coulda. But it wasn’t him so much, that I was dang smitten. I had an itch and I was ready to get out there on my own. He was just the vehicle…lolol Grant it, that was a long bumpy ride, but I transported maself off my mamas’ nips to standing on my own.

Okay, I can’t be chatty cathy this morning…I have a meeting in 53 minutes…ugh

Hazel

April 26th, 2013
8:14 am

TGIF everybody.

I have been guilty of caring about what my friends thought too, but I quickly learned not to do that.
Now if I was dating someone with a fault that I overlooked, I would want my friends opinion and would take it as a mature woman rather then getting mad.
I have a friend who does not like my husband without any reason. She is a semi-friend now. I don’t have time for someone immature

Hazel

April 26th, 2013
8:16 am

@Lee 6:44 comment. Nice one.
I once tried to tell my friend to stay from the guy she was dating, she didn’t take it too well and snapped back. I never have or will advise her. She will have to get hurt on her own and learn. ( which she did and STILL hasn’t learned..still with the looser)

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
8:20 am

-Celisea Hope you feel better soon!

-Hazel I’m glad you decided to distance yourself from her. Some people are just plain miserable and can’t stand to see someone else in a happy & healthy relationship.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
8:25 am

Awwww, MissMoni…thanks a bunch!!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
8:45 am

Morning ladies…. There was once a time when I would tell my friends about someone I was dating and the first question was “What does she look like?” Now the first question is what does she do???? Now I know everyone is gonna say they never do this and that they don’t care what heir friends think, but On some level, even if its just a little bit, it matters……..

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
8:49 am

When I was a young cat, My dad use to put this song on and dance with my moms…..

They were really hot like that……

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw7AabGXw7U

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
8:57 am

Hi Court! I see you’re grooving this morning! :-)
I’m LOL because I ask the “What does he/she do” question.

From my experiences, it really doesn’t matter what the friends think, if that person wants to be with that other person then they are going to do just that. Once you past high school, I feel that people care less about other’s opinions. However, I do know that is not the general rule of thumb. There are some folks who will run like the wind if their friends don’t give the 2 thumbs up. . .

Button

April 26th, 2013
8:59 am

When I was wayyyy younger I wondered what my friends thoughts were about my date. That was many many moons ago, now I don’t consider what my friends or family may think about who I choose to date. Actually I haven’t brought a date around any of my friends since we all live in different parts of the world. I’ll show pictures/video or share our activities but nope I haven’t introduced a date to my friends face to face in a long time.

Happy Friday!

MsAtl

April 26th, 2013
9:01 am

Morning All!

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself “What will my friends think?” I admit I did once, but quickly dismissed it.

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked? No, however, most of my family and friends disliked my ex-husband. It made it a little difficult, but at that point in time my view was me and him against the world.

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations? People are free to state their opinion on whatever, but they do not control my relationships. Of course you listen to your friends, but you make your own determinations because you are the one with all of the information.

Court- That is so sweet!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
9:01 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw7AabGXw7U

Might not be able to get any work done while doing this old school this morning!! :)

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
9:09 am

OK…last one….. World class old school Beggin!!! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVTEEeOEfKw

Hazel

April 26th, 2013
9:11 am

@missmoni – Im glad too. “Once again, know your friends and don’t walk around with your eyes wide shut”. I walk by this rule all the time. thank you : )

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
9:20 am

-Hazel You’re quite welcome. I learned this lesson as a teenager and it’s something that I’ll always remember.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
9:22 am

LOL…I know I said that was the last one, But this Grown Ass Woman just makes me tingle!!!! LOLOLOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQAu65WLlso

disco

April 26th, 2013
9:26 am

good morning. am I checking for the opinions of others? nope. do they matter? yes and no. there are some people whose opinions I do respect and I’d be open to hearing them. others are so throwed off that their opinions matter very little. can’t say that their opinions would sway any decision I made. do I want friends/family to like a significant other? it would help but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they didn’t. might make for uncomfortable family gatherings but it is what it is.

Reio

April 26th, 2013
9:32 am

I think first of all, one has to establish what the definition of ‘friend’ is. My grandfather told me on many occasions that;” If a man lives, then dies, after having known only one true friend, he dies a lucky man indeed.” In my life, I’ve had/have many aquaintances, but only one, maybe two, true friends. Men who would do anything in the world for you, short of illegalities, or immoral, under handed, illicit acts. These are the people I would listen to. And actually solicit their input. Sense, I know they are level headed and have nothing but my best interest in mind.The aquaintances, masquerading as friends, can take their opinion on who I’m dating, and burn, for all I care. Their input is niether coveted nor valued when it comes to me and my relationships.

Button

April 26th, 2013
9:42 am

Reio – I agree with your post. Most people are not your friends perse but rather aquaintances and although they can be just as special as a friend, they are not true friends.

Single & Happy

April 26th, 2013
9:42 am

Hello all

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself “What will my friends think?” HELL NO!!

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations No, I just tell them that they’ve dated/married who they wanted to and I will do the same

Button

April 26th, 2013
9:46 am

one things for sure, if you tell your “girlfriend” anything negative about your date/relationship/man, she will harp on it and never let you live it down. I learned that the hard way.

disco

April 26th, 2013
9:46 am

reio – I may be taking my share of shorts in life but I’ve apparently got an abundance of friends. of course, considering I haven’t made a “new” friend in more than 10 years I might want to hush up. bless me if my friends ever start falling off. I’ll probably never make a new friend again. lol.

Reio

April 26th, 2013
9:48 am

disco – You’re truly lucky. More power to ya!

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
9:50 am

-Button Yep, learned that lesson too! You’re so spot on with that! They’ll always remember the negative stuff and when you share something good, they’ll be sure to throw that OLD negative stuff back up in your face.

disco

April 26th, 2013
9:52 am

reio – I’ve always said that my measure of friend v. acquaintance was if I would raise her kids if something happened and they had no place else to go. I’m not big on kids so for me that’s a biggie. of course, I wasn’t banking on said friends having late life babies. lol. one friend has a 2 year old. messing up the rotation.

button/moni – that depends on the friend and her nature. I’m on the abrasive side and like to put stuff on front street but I don’t throw stuff up all willy nilly. if a situation calls for some reminding then so be it but I don’t just always be talking about “remember when, remember when, remember when”. not my style.

Reio

April 26th, 2013
10:02 am

I can recall an incident from my dating years when an aquaintance told me, after seeing and chatting with my date at a social gathering(someone’s birthday party, I think), that “Ya’ll look good together, but everybody’s gonna want some of that. Better keep her hid.” Caught me off guard. Didn’t know how to respond. I think I just smiled a little as I walked away. Neither of my true friends would ever say anything like that. Funny, this guy, I’ve known much longer than my friends. Now that I think about it, no wonder I’ve never considered him a friend. Nice guy. We get along well. We go back to second grade. But he’s not a friend. Never was.

disco

April 26th, 2013
10:14 am

reio – actually I don’t think that comment is so bad. in his mind he could have just been giving you a compliment. granted, coming out of the mouths of some it could be a veiled threat as well. lol. reminds me of a time one of my cousins was going on about how she was going to have to beat the boys off her teenaged daughter with a bat. this cousin rides the bench for team homely and her daughter looks just like her. oh how we laughed at that one. beating the boys back is the last thing she’ll have to worry about.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:15 am

-Disco I feel you on that. I have a friend now who is dealing with some MAJOR relationship drama (he called her a stupid _itch TWICE & held her down (to argue) against her will) but she has yet to tell me about this particular incident, our other friend told me. See, that would be an automatic dealbreaker for me & I think she already knows that which is why she hasn’t told me about it. I’m going to call her this weekend & see if she brings it up. My fear is that the next time he’ll do worse, but she has to wake up & smell the coffee! Me telling her to leave him alone will go in 1 ear and out the other until she’s had enough of his mess. Whew, needed to vent.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 26th, 2013
10:23 am

“this cousin rides the bench for team homely and her daughter looks just like her. oh how we laughed at that one. beating the boys back is the last thing she’ll have to worry about.”

LOLOLOL….Line of the day!!! :) :) :)

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:26 am

-Court/Disco I agree, I’m still over here LMBO!!! :-D

disco

April 26th, 2013
10:28 am

moni – thankfully none of my friends has been caught up in that abusive mess. well one, but she’s since divorced that buster and remarried. acquaintances? boy they keep me entertained with their war stories. dang dingbats.

court – yeah. that’s messed up but it’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
10:31 am

Morning Gang!

Disco – Hey! Your 9;26 about sums it up for me.

I had one friend to not like a guy I was dating. There was nothing concrete, he just rubbed her the wrong way, she said. She really didn’t try to break us up or anything. My close, close friends and I kind of have the same taste in men. Not necessarily the same in looks, but in temperment, station in life, etc. So this has never really been much of an issue. I agree with Moni about knowing which friends to share certain info with too. There are some that don’t have decent relationships themselves, but they can critique everyone elses. Miss me with that.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:31 am

-Disco That’s the crazy part, he is just her boyfriend!!! She has nothing to lose if she cuts her losses other than him.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:35 am

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
10:35 am

There are definite distinctions between “friend, acquaintence and folks you know.” For my real friends, we aren’t all up in each other’s grills 24/7, but we are tried and true and true blue. Folks you can call on, folks that’s gonna give you the real, folks that ain’t going in with you on a dumb decision but will stand in the door way and say “don’t do it.”

I can break bread with acquaintences, but those are the folks that you tell what you want them to know and usually it’s stuff that ain’t deep or won’t bring the world to an end if they blab.

Folks you know, are just that. Folks that you know don’t care or give a happy if you live or die, eat or not, etc etc etc. They are just folks you know. Folks you can live with or without

disco

April 26th, 2013
10:36 am

kimmie – that’s me. the perpetually single. lol. does it keep me from putting my two cents in? heck naw. some of these chicks in my circle might want to try single. then they wouldn’t have homeless, unemployed men rolling through packing up hefty bags and their kids wouldn’t have multiple uncle syndrome.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
10:37 am

this cousin rides the bench for team homely and her daughter looks just like her.

Disco – I am hollering!!! You sure have a way with words!!! :lol:

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
10:37 am

I can’t recall in this moment anyone in an abusive relationship. My sister did that mess for years with some bum that all but cracked her skull. But she got out of that mess, thankfully.

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
10:40 am

disco – LOL!! Perpetual single is not the problem, single is not even the problem. It’s those that stay in effed up situations with dudes, but somehow think they are qualified to dole out advice!

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:41 am

-Kimmie BINGO with your 10:40, those are the ones who ALWAYS have SOMETHING to say!!!

disco

April 26th, 2013
10:42 am

kimmie – again, that statement was the truth. it was at a viewing. a group of us were catching up and she pointed out her daughter that some of us had never met or hadn’t seen for years. girl we held it in and humored her when she said it (we were in a church after all). after that it was on. lol. this cousin is the daughter of the great-aunt who said I was going to be an old maid. the great-aunt that my grandmother lit into for talking about me. lol.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
10:45 am

-Disco I would pay good money to attend a family function with you because I know it would be better than any professional comedy show. The family stories you tell are HILARIOUS!!! :-)

kimmie

April 26th, 2013
10:47 am

Moni – I’d buy a ticket to that myself!!LOL!!

disco

April 26th, 2013
10:54 am

kimmie / moni – no refunds. we don’t always cut up. lol.

C – one chick told me how her dude punched her in the side of the face while she was driving. I was like and you continued to drive home and gave dude some that same night? stupid. I would have driven to the nearest police station or ran his side of the car into a daggone telephone pole. I would have sat in the car until he got out first and ran his behind over. the end of the story was going to be drastically different.

Celisea

April 26th, 2013
11:03 am

disco – one chick told me how her dude punched her in the side of the face while she was driving

Naw, that wouldn’t have ended with no intimacy. Yeah, that’s about what I would have done too. If I can’t whip you physically, I can drive you to someone that can….the po po LOLOLOL, I know me, that’s exactly what I would have done, if I didn’t have a bat to knock his grill out. That’s dirty…hitting a chick while she’s driving.

disco

April 26th, 2013
11:13 am

C – her parents visit her twice a year. once when it was time for her parents to visit he told her that he didn’t want them staying at her house. lol. shole did. he didn’t even live there. he was just pulling a control move. she told her parents they would have to get a room and her parents cancelled their visit. guess they said that buster didn’t tell them what to do.

MissMoni

April 26th, 2013
11:16 am

Disco/Celisea See my pressure is going up just reading this. I can honestly say that I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. I grew up seeing my mama go from one to another (starting with my dad) and I knew at an early age that it was wrong & that was not what I wanted to be a part of. The Lord knows what you can handle, because I would have on a jumpsuit with numbers across the back. . . unless MsAtl could get me off on self-defense.

Leggs

April 26th, 2013
11:19 am

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself “What will my friends think?” – NOPE.

As we get to know each other more and more and he mingles with me an my friends, all that matters to me is that they get along. They don’t have to like him. They could wonder all they want what my attraction to him might be. At the end of the day, I will be sleeping with him and it will be only the two of us in the room, not my friends.

Ok, a bit much, but you know what I mean.

Good morning. Worked on 4 documents that tried, I said tried to kick my behind. I won that fight!