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Dating: Are you a little rusty?

A newly divorced man wants to get our help on dating in Atlanta.  He was coupled up and married since high school, so he literally has zero experience being a single man in Atlanta.  He said that he is dating game is rusty! Do you ever feel the same way too?

What should you do if you don’t know the best way to approach a woman, show interest, and pursue her?  You don’t want to look like a tool or anything.  I think a lot of women would appreciate a simple and genuine introduction.  It also depends on the type of woman you want to approach.  Some women in Atlanta are a bit…how shall I put this, rude? Yes. Rude.  This makes it even more challenging for men.

What kind of advice do you give someone who has not dated since high school?

Do you think there are “baby steps” someone can take before hitting their stride?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

332 comments Add your comment

Exiled

April 25th, 2013
7:02 am

Well hopefully,he has not grown so out of shape due to being married that long. You know how some married women and men develop big guts(beer) and look like water buffaloes.

So,maybe getting in shape for starters. Once he is in shape,toned muscles and all,there is a market for those kinds of men.
You are in Atlanta,where the fine women play so u may end needing a lot of physical energy! He he he

Secondly,he needs to up his lingo game. Make urban dictionary your friend!

His pocket needs to be on point. The women in Atlanta love to be taken out to eat. Some (most) of them are so heavy,they have thighs as fat as elephant ears! :lol:

He needs to chill a Lil,no need to rush making decisions. There are just so many women in Atlanta that he might lose hisself(lol,speaking like Steve Harvey!) :lol: :lol: funny.

And sometimes,just sometimes,when the pickings are just too numerous and your kinda coy with your palate,nibling here and there,without necessarily filling your belly with one item,you end up eating the whole menu,nible by nible. :lol:

So Mr newly divorced,enjoy Atlanta dating scene.

You don’t have to buy most of dese southern cows!

Good morning MIA!!(hello Friday!)
:lol: :lol:

MissMoni

April 25th, 2013
7:14 am

GOOD Thursday Morning MIA!!! *It’s Friday Eve!* :-D

I see you Ex with your advice. . . :-)

What kind of advice do you give someone who has not dated since high school? Know what YOU want, what YOU expect & what YOUR dealbreakers are. Enjoy the dating scene, have fun and don’t be afraid or feel funny about saying NO thank you.

I’m very interested to hear what the other blogguys have to say about this topic.

Lee

April 25th, 2013
7:21 am

Be yourself–is the best plan for a male or female. Find someone with some same interests as yourself.
Exiled smh

Single and Happy

April 25th, 2013
7:37 am

Hello all

Just be yourself, if you have to change everything about you (EX) then more than likely the woman you get will not be the woman for you.

Single and Happy

April 25th, 2013
8:02 am

Button

April 25th, 2013
8:17 am

Good morning, just be yourself, know what you’re not looking for in a woman and take it from there. Also be honest. Honesty is the best policy :)

I remember when I ventured back into the dating world, it was like going into a boxing ring with no gloves at one point or being a bull in a china store the next. I had to pull back because it was so insane. Guys wanted the cookie so quick. The liars, the jerks, and the whiners. I decided to turn the approach around. I became the hunter. I met a guy who piqued my interest, I made my move and the rest is history.

Button

April 25th, 2013
8:20 am

Single – I read about that guy yesterday. what a hoot! he was running that prison like he owned it. Talk about inhouse conjucal visits. Those women are silly, to have a baby for a prison head, just wow. Now tax paying citizen will have to fork the bill not only for him but for his children.

Single and Happy

April 25th, 2013
8:47 am

Button, I guess the bad boy, big baller image got them hooked! Dude was making $16000 on a slow day.

Button

April 25th, 2013
8:52 am

Single – yeah, but not anymore, he’ll be lucky to see day light ever again. The baby mommas will be locked away also. 4 women, 5 kids, I wonder what are the ages of the kids.

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
8:55 am

Diva, tell him he was born with it. Just like riding a bike, something you’d never forget. Tell him to get back on and start pedaling. :)

I have a quick off topic:

Getting out of the car a moment ago, I had the hardiest laugh at some 35 year old dude on the Bert show trolling (as the chick DJ said) for a UGA sophomore he met in some race. Let’s see that’s about 15 years and for a 20 year old….DOG YEARS…lolol After he’s had a V8, he’s gonna want to crawl under a rock. Po thang sounded so desperate. Buddy provided pictures for Bert to post on their website :shock: and gave every detail he could think of :shock: WHO DOES THAT??? Of course all of this was in an effort to “find her.”

The lady that called in to make comments was hi la ri ous….she called him a “pig.” That lady said either he’d better be schmoking (yes the way spelled) hot or loaded…lololol Whew buddy….men

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
9:01 am

Secondly,he needs to up his lingo game. Make urban dictionary your friend!

Mmello, why would you need the urban dictionary? Most black folks are just born with “it.” Dang I wish we could market the oh so coveted “ism” so many desire. You make me wonder, dude…..hmmmmm lol

Reio

April 25th, 2013
9:02 am

“Some women in Atlanta are a bit…how shall I put this, rude? Yes. Rude. This makes it even more challenging for men.”

This won’t make it more challenging for a man, instead, for a real man, this makes it time to go. It only makes it more challenging for a fool.

Exiled

April 25th, 2013
9:04 am

Celisea..I tell u the dating lingo has changed…

Mr_NYC

April 25th, 2013
9:06 am

Good morning folks – a topic I’ve lived through a bit. Married 20 years, starting out a little after high school. Then divorced. Definitely unnerving since most of my social circle were married friends. Best thing that happened to me was a good friend sitting me down and explaining how the dating world and male/female interactions have changed. Almost got eaten alive, since I was trying to date like folks used to court in the old days. Some didn’t know how to take it, some that I was running a game (one I wasn’t aware existed), some ran because it seemed as if I was coming on strong. Like already said take your time, take your time.

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
9:08 am

Mmeello – But that “ism” is something naturally possessed. You don’t need a book for it or place to reference to stay “read up.” Either you have it or you don’t, and if you got it, you just move and flow the times. If you don’t and you have to stay “read up”, it can come off as trying to hard. Make sense?

Exiled

April 25th, 2013
9:09 am

Single…I read that story on my way to work yesterday.

Damn shame

Four five women/prison guards working together running rings with same jailed man…he said he runs this jail…funny.

One guard had a tatoo with his name ….

Uall women mustn’t luv D to this extend :lol:

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
9:11 am

Need java…badly

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
9:15 am

Just be yourself because if you pretend to be something other than who and what you are, you will be inundated with drama. Nothing wrong with seeking women that “may” seem out of your league, if you can keep up with them intellectually, emotionally and on an honest level half the battle is won. However, be mindful of the bottom eaters, they’re eat you alive. Don’t necessarily listen to the words that are coming out of their mouths, but more look at the action behind those words!

Good morning.

disco

April 25th, 2013
9:16 am

good morning.

ex – water buffalo? lol. sad and funny but true.

by the way, since high school tells us little. dude could be divorced at 25.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:39 am

Yall know that I’ve been said to be able to tell a good story so here’s one for ya.

Last evening we took the babies to get ice cream after dinner. I told the girl behind the counter to only give them a little. No more than half a scoop on a cone. I had one scoop in a bowl and the marido had two mega scoops in a waffle cone bowl. After the little lady finished hers her loving father invited her to help him eat his. I told him don’t give her too much, I didn’t want her getting sick.

He shrugged it with:

Him: “You think I will purposely do something to make her get sick?”

Me: “I didn’t say you will do it on purpose. But it is too late for her to be eating all of that. She will get sick.”

Him: “She has less than half a scoop. This little bit is not going to hurt her.”

Me: (Sigh)

Soooooo after she helps him finish his two scoops we headed back to the house. Get home both the little ones are asleep. We each take one, carry them in and put them in the bed.

Abooouuut 2 o’clock roll around and I’m pretty deep into my sleep I am awaken by a whinny “mommy”. It’s dark in the room but when I opened my eyes I could the mess I am going to have to clean up. The Lizard tells me that she threw up in her bed.

As I drag myself from the comfort and warmth of the bed I give the loving father a good shove and tell him “you know this is all your fault don’t you”.

Him: “hmm” (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

(To be continued)

Exiled

April 25th, 2013
9:44 am

Cel…buddy was married…so meaning he got No…zero…zilch dating game.

These women now they understand but only if u step to them with a kinda different lingo…see that :lol: it’s not like 20 years ago anymore! Lol

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:45 am

My second comment did not post. Did I just get cited for “toolengthycommentsness”?

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
9:46 am

Raqi ~ Mother knows best (lol).

DreamsMaterialize

April 25th, 2013
9:47 am

Morning
The essence of the game doesn’t change. Now if you want to wear bell bottoms and platform shoes, you might run into some issues, although there might even be a market for that. lol How did you land your ex wife? You already have the basic skills set. Just be confident with it.

disco

April 25th, 2013
9:47 am

raqi – you didn’t tell hubs to get up and go clean up the mess that he made? lol.

ex – some married men have the best dating game. lol.

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
9:49 am

MMeello – He’s just feeling a little low in the confidence department, but he’s got a little something going on, I bet. If he’s pretty decent, he’s more appealing than he realizes…that’s about 70 percent of it.

DreamsMaterialize

April 25th, 2013
9:50 am

Raqi how’s it going? Good to read you. Hope all is well.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:50 am

Yeah Leggs but what do I know. I am just the one here with them every day knowing what limits they can take. LOL

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:53 am

Disco, wait for it. LOL I think Wise Diva has me on a long post ban but I think I can work around it. (Waving at you Wise One).

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
9:54 am

Raqi ~ isn’t it amazing how the fathers tend to minimize what you know by being with them all day and think their fragile stomachs can handle more (lol). Bless Daddy!

disco

April 25th, 2013
9:56 am

leggs – I see that more as “good cop / bad cop”. lol. bad mommy says no more ice cream but ever wonderful, super spectacular, bestest daddy in the whole wide world and beyond says all the ice cream you can eat. lol.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:57 am

Hello DreamsMaterialize. I am doing well. I am trying to tell a story here but the one in charge is making me stand here and make a long story seem a lot longer because I am going to have to break it up into smaller post. This is story is leading to the topic at hand. Well not really but in a way it is. LOL

Exiled

April 25th, 2013
9:57 am

Cel..read MrNYC see what I meant…

Here isthe scoop.. I come north to DC and pack a suitcase my daughter had used when she went to college.

Anyhoo,I’m looking for some of my deo toothbrush that I had stashed in a side pocket and I fumble on a piece of paper…what’s dis…im asking myself..

So..I open up the paper…it’s a letter some dude wrote my daughter….

I guess they met at a function there at school and bottom line,busy is trying to get fresh with her

But now me,being the crawling bones that I am as compared to my daughter some of the vocabulary in there was so foreign…lol it was not English trust me..I was an English literature major in school :lol:

So guess who came to my aid so I could decipher some of that?

Urban dictionary!! :lol:

Letter was no foul …kudos to my daughter but I know what I know :lol:

So All I just do is play mental head psychology with my daughter…have not told her Nothing!’:lol:

Daddy will drop a hip word or x generation word here and there in convo and they(she and my other younger daughter) will gasp and look at each other in wonder…

I’m thanking that letter for the Intelligense! :lol:

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:58 am

2 A.Mish there I am in the bathroom changing out a soiled Tinkerbell nightgown with a Disney Princesses nightgown of which the Lizard did not want to wear. She wanted the Ariel nightgown which she had worn the night before and it was down in the dryer. Which I was not going to go get.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:58 am

“good cop / bad cop”

Disco, you hit the nail on the head.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
9:59 am

Yeah, “Bless Daddy” LOL

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
10:00 am

Mmello – I got you. I was just having a bit of dialog with ya!

Celisea

April 25th, 2013
10:01 am

Alright…I’m out of here for now…

BBL……….

Single and Happy

April 25th, 2013
10:01 am

Ex, depending on the guys age and what he’s looking for, he may not need the urban dictionary, or change his style one bit.

If I have to have game to get a woman, then I know she’s not the woman for me, time to move on. but this may not work for him.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
10:02 am

Wise Diva, seriously? Please just let me finish the story in as few posts a possible and I promise to only submit two sentence comments after that. It’s not like I am here all the time.

MissMoni

April 25th, 2013
10:02 am

Hi Raqi! Long time no read. I agree with Leggs in that Mother KNOWS best! ;-) I also understand the struggle of a child who doesn’t want to wear what you have for them to wear, which can be brutal in the wee hours of the morning. . .

disco

April 25th, 2013
10:07 am

dreams – you got me envisioning the guy walking around asking females “what’s your sign”. lol.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
10:10 am

Hello MissMoni. I guess I will not be able to get to the point of telling you all how I must have become so RUSTY in dating that I cannot decide what to wear to the lunch invite that my marido extended to me this morning. LOL

But yeah when they reach that stage where the have preferences in what they like to wear it can be trying. LOL

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
10:11 am

Piggybacking on the bell bottoms and platform shoes, remember do not come out in the spring/summer with shorts and tube socks. That look will have women running away.

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
10:12 am

Oh and I think he asked me to lunch only because he heard me loudly venting last night. LOL

disco

April 25th, 2013
10:17 am

raqi – venting? would that have gone something like this? you walking around handling business in the middle of the night while fussing “I told that (bleep) not to give this (bleep) girl no (bleep) ice cream. act like I’m (bleep) talking just to hear the sound of my own (bleep) voice. I oughtta make him get his (bleep) out the (bleep) bed and deal with this (bleep). stupid (bleep)” lol.

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
10:21 am

Raqi ~ he feels bad because you told him she really shouldn’t be having any more ice cream, he pretended to be asleep and now he’s feeling guilty…as he should (lol).

Leggs

April 25th, 2013
10:23 am

Raqi

April 25th, 2013
10:23 am

I don’t think you really ever lose what it takes to get a date. It’s a natural mating process instilled in every one of us.

My dad was married to my mom a very long time from a young man into his 60’s but a few years after her passing he had no problem finding another. Some things were new to him like being asked to take an STD test. My mom was the second and last woman that he was with intimately before he found himself on the dating scene again so the concern of him having an STD was quite foreign to him. I told him that’s just how it has to be these days. The woman he married is I think about 10 years younger than him and she has one child but she never married until she married my pops.
She obviously has a couple of more partners than he has had so she knew to have certain concerns.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 25th, 2013
10:26 am

Simplest way for dude to get back into the dating game is to make his next couple of outings, group affairs…. The weather is getting nice, He can have a cookout… or go to a sports bar with a group of friends…. That way, he can talk and mingle… find break the ice without carrying the pressure of being on a “date”…….

Oh,, :) Good morning all…… :)