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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

When do you bring up marriage?

One of our readers wanted to get advice about when she should bring up the marriage topic.  She has been dating her boyfriend for less than a year and feels pretty confident about things.  This is why she is anxious to start talking about a future.  She just doesn’t want to bring the one to bring it up!

Do you believe that a woman who talks about marriage too soon is a turn off to men?  What if he is already thinking of her as his future spouse?

In my experiences, marriage usually makes its way into conversations rather organically.  I don’t remember being the one to bring it up.  Admittedly, there was a period that I was no interested in marriage at all, so I sort of avoided that when I could.

If you are really excited about a possible future with someone, can bringing marriage into the forefront actually delay or derail a relationship?

Should you drop hints or subtle comments about marriage to get the discussion going?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

318 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
12:28 pm

YES Leggs & Into the Light go ahead and get your laughs. Just know, I no longer sit on laps, LMBO!!!

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
12:31 pm

I feel weird sitting in someone’s lap. Only time that usually takes place is if i’m straddling them and some adult interaction is taking place :oops:

Celisea

April 22nd, 2013
12:33 pm

Slim – THAT is the only time to sit in someone’s lap. Folks don’t go around just sitting in folks’ laps all willy nilly. I thought I made that clear with “talking and stuff”, thus the reference to “intimate.”

Oh well, you win some and you lose some….

Later folks!

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
12:36 pm

disco – My first thought was the same one you had about riding too deep in a car back in the day. I was always the smallest so I always got someone’s lap or either the ‘hump’ which was the arm rest in the middle of the front seat. lol

disco

April 22nd, 2013
12:38 pm

slim – not the hump. lol. the hump was dreaded. it was uncomfortable to sit on and you’d be bumping your head.

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
12:41 pm

That’s a whole nother form of lap sitting. Innocent. Grown folk lap sitting ain’t innocent (lol).

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
12:43 pm

….unless it’s Santa. Never too old to sit on Santa’s lap. :lol:

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
12:44 pm

SlimNu ~ you really thought about innocent lap sitting? As freaky as your mind can turn (said in a good way, cracking myself up), surprised you didn’t think of “freaky fridays.”

Celisea ~ I knew exactly what type of lap sitting you were talking about (lolol)>

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
12:44 pm

Celisea – whoa whoa whoa kemosabe. There was no confusion on what you meant regarding lap sitting. I know some chicks that sit in their SO’s lap at functions or whatever, outside of sexing. So nothing to ‘win or lose’ here. No dig was being made, so R E L A X buttercup

:-)

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
12:44 pm

Oops, my 12:41 was for disco.

disco

April 22nd, 2013
12:45 pm

ITL – no you didn’t go and bring santa claus into this. guess y’all putting a whole nother spin on you never get too old to be put over someone’s knee. of course, I guess I opened a whole new can of worms by introducing spanking to the topic. lol.

Durty Burd

April 22nd, 2013
12:47 pm

Good Afternoon!

MissMoni sounds so good I think I may have to ask her to marry me. :smile:

Marriage is a topic that should take place just like any other topic while dating. If marriage is what you want then include this in the get to know you conversation.

Ladies keep in mind there is a way to bring up marriage in the initial phrase of dating. I think right now society has changed and very few women at a young age want to get married. They want to so their oats as well. Kidding, more ladies are busy preparing for their careers. It’s funny dating ladies who cannot throw down in the kitchen.

ITL.. you do live in a different world. lol

Disco. Just not feeling the love huh! Here is a blog hug..

abc

April 22nd, 2013
12:48 pm

I guess I don’t watch much TV at all. Seems I usually have something I’d rather be doing. Sweetie says on that account I never can buy another new TV — but I say, FOOTBALL! Football season’s coming.

I agree disco, I can do without all the hugging. Some guys like to give my sweetie hugs and smash her up against them, and if not for her admonition to not do so, I’d put them on their big azz for it. Then their wives want me to hug them, and I’m like, forget about it. Not interested. Also, I see too many men leaving the restroom without a hand wash to want to shake their hands all the time. Put em in your pockets, buddy.

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
12:48 pm

For the record, I don’t sit on Santa’s lap either. Miss Moni don’t play that, LOL!!!

Celisea

April 22nd, 2013
12:49 pm

Leggs/Slim – Gotcha

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
12:50 pm

buttercup…lololo

Celisea

April 22nd, 2013
12:51 pm

I thought buttercup was funny as well….lololol

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
12:52 pm

@Durty: Um, thanks? :lol: :lol:

@disco: LOL. Now you’ve opened the can….

disco

April 22nd, 2013
12:53 pm

buttercup? $5 blog dollars to whoever can name the other power puff girls. lol.

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
12:54 pm

Since we’re on the topic of MARRIAGE, this is a MUST HAVE song at my reception!!! :-D

http://youtu.be/mF8IaExPv7s

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
12:55 pm

bubbles…..

Durty Burd

April 22nd, 2013
12:55 pm

MissMoni will you sit on Durty Burd’s lap? lol

Reio keep calling like you see it, we don’t need to sugarcoat everything. Like we have to speak good about someone who did wrong all their lives… Not going to do it.

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
12:56 pm

-Disco Blossom & Bubbles!!! :-D

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
12:56 pm

disco – If you sat on Santa’s lap and he spanked yo ass right when you were about to get up, would you be offended or feel complimented? :lol:

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
12:58 pm

would you be offended or feel complimented

I’d think i probably got what I deserved. :lol: :lol: :evil:

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
12:58 pm

-Bonjour Dirty! As I stated earlier, me sitting on a lap is reserved for my husband. Is there something we need to talk about??? LOL!!!

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
1:12 pm

ITL :lol: Naughty girl

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
1:22 pm

Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles. Too funny cuz Bubbles is the key ring I keep my desk drawer key on.

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
1:27 pm

marco…….._________

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
1:34 pm

ummm, you rang.

Oops, that’s the Adams Family

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
1:36 pm

lol I used to like that show, Leggs. I also wanted to be Elvira but my boobs aren’t big enough lol

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
1:38 pm

Elvira, heck, I aspired to get out of the Olive Oil phase (lol) (Popeye).

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
1:54 pm

Oh yes, the dreaded Olive Oyl…I definitely got called that in my younger days.

Man oh man, this lack of a good night’s sleep is really catching up to me. S T R U G G L I N G

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
2:03 pm

-SlimNu I just glanced at the clock and said OK only 2 more hours. I had wayyyy too much FUN this weekend, I need SLEEP! :-D

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
2:11 pm

MissMoni – I’ll trade you my 3 more hours for your two. Whatcha say to that?

disco

April 22nd, 2013
2:12 pm

slim – re being offended or feeling complimented. well, I guess that depends on how fine santa is. you know how that goes. lol.

adams family? hated it.

slim – folks called you olive oyl? that’s bad. we knew a girl who looked just like a brown skinned tweety bird. lol.

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
2:18 pm

“,,,looked just like a brown skinned tweety bird” – Hot Dayum!

SlimNu ~ I know how you feel. You would have thought Olive Oyl was my middle names. Interesting watching them turn from grapes to peaches, to apples to a plump orange (rofl)

disco

April 22nd, 2013
2:19 pm

slim/moni/leggs – I know y’all are here. y’all need to stop acting funny and get on deck. lol.

SlimNu

April 22nd, 2013
2:19 pm

disco – I got called all sorts of things but one I distinctly recall was Keebler (as in keebler cookie elves)…due to my sizable ears :shock:

disco

April 22nd, 2013
2:25 pm

slim – I had a little cousin that we briefly called keebler because he was a little midget. lucky for him it didn’t last. another little cousin we called molly mcbutter. don’t know where that one came from.

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
2:28 pm

@disco: Did you make it to Aldi’s on Friday???

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
2:34 pm

disco ~ I am here.

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
2:35 pm

I’m going tomorrow. They have eggplant and asparagus on sale. And strawberries. YUM!

Reio

April 22nd, 2013
2:35 pm

Nothing wrong with Olive Oyl, she needs love too. Once dated an Olive Oyl clone. Not bad. Quite nice, actually. Just didn’t work out. Still wonder what she’s up to. Last I heard, she went to Cleveland and never returned. Oh well.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 22nd, 2013
2:35 pm

Into the Light

April 22nd, 2013
2:35 pm

disco

April 22nd, 2013
2:36 pm

ITL – yep. me and my case quarter sure did make it to aldi on Friday. I felt real proud buying up all my little veggies. I won’t even talk about me eating ice cream and cake all weekend.

Leggs

April 22nd, 2013
2:36 pm

Working on logistics for hotel meeting in the morning. I had the reservationist saying I’m the meeting planner, everything is direct billed for me and I want the best room in the house, absent the President’s Suite (lol).

disco

April 22nd, 2013
2:37 pm

reio – I haven’t seen popeye cartoons in a long time but olive oyl sure didn’t have problem juggling her men. she had both them dudes wide open.

MissMoni

April 22nd, 2013
2:39 pm

-Disco YES I’m here. I was watching the updates on the Jodi Arias trial on HLN. I’ve been following since the trial started and all I can say about her is that she’s DIABOLICAL!!!