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You read books? Date me!

It’s funny how you may not be able to pinpoint the traits of someone you consider ideal, but you can definitely describe who is NOT ideal.  There is something to be said about knowing what you want and don’t want.  I think most people are reasonable about it, while others.. not so much.

We all have different things that “just does it” for us, whatever that means.  It’s interesting to think about why some things are complete turn offs while other things could draw you in.   It is also funny how one man’s/woman’s turn off can be another man’s/woman’s turn ON.

For instance, I always say that a man with an extensive vocabulary and book collection could make me swoon instantly.  Another woman would think he was a complete square, Herb, or nerd.  She would assume was dull and boring. I’m here for it. ALL day. Yes.

A guy who feels the need to constantly brag or boast of his looks, sexual prowess, or wealth just makes me twitch.  I become overwhelmed with the urge to roll my eyes.  I may even start to feels stabby if I am forced to be around him for too long.  Turned ALL the way OFF.  If you’re awesome, people can tell. No need to be your own hype man, dude.

What about you?  Have you ever noticed that your turn ons/offs are quirky or off the wall compared to other people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

369 comments Add your comment

Exiled

April 18th, 2013
6:46 am

I am 6 ft tall..it’s not bragging,it’s just a fact! :lol:

Bragging never a good look.

Morning MIA!

Lee

April 18th, 2013
7:22 am

I feel the same about men who brag all day and i will add if you have to stay on your phone (texting, reading, etc) i will be gone–I find that rude a date should be 2 people not 2people and 1 mobile device –if you feel the need that strongly i suggest go home and cuddle with your phone. Being late is another turnoff.

Turn ons — sean connery voice i don’t care how old he is i could sit there all day and listen to him , intelligence , able to fix stuff and work with your hands is sexy.
One more day till the weekend thank God.

Penelope

April 18th, 2013
8:00 am

Hello peepsykins!

I am turned off by bad behavior. There was this one guy that always wore a happy face in passing, but behaved something awful. He pretended to be the most modeled citizen. He plotted all sorts of mean things all because our level of affection did not match! I wonder where his parents failed him.

Penelope

April 18th, 2013
8:03 am

I pitied that guy. Full of pretense. That is the saddest.

Button

April 18th, 2013
8:25 am

Good morning, my turn off – rough hands – dirty finger nails – unkempt hair/face – that 5 o’clock shadow – sagging pants – supped up butt- the preacher look – pimp look – tall guys – braggers – pretenders – shallow minded men – tunnel vision men.

turn on – men who think out of the box – readers – well kempt – high achiever – an agile man – a man with a purpose in life – a man who volunteers his time helping others – a handy man – a man who can mow the lawn/landscaper – a man who can work on a car – a guy with a hobby – I’m an avid painter so a guy who has that talent is the bomb! and lastly a guy who can write poetry/poems.

Button

April 18th, 2013
8:29 am

My turn offs/ons are comparatively similar to my peers. No quirks here.

Single & Happy

April 18th, 2013
8:32 am

hello all

My turn on’s, women that are happy within themselves,have balance in their lives! turn off’s star gazers, braggers, complainers

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
8:34 am

Morning all,

I too am turned off by guys constantly blowing their own horns…Let me be a witness to how great I think you may be on my own observations.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 18th, 2013
8:54 am

Morning all….Just WOW at some of these list!!!!

Looking at Buttons list, a blue collar guy ain’t got ( Yeah I said AIN”T” GOT) a chance….. Like if he is not a metro sexual Librarian, he is nothing…….

Button

April 18th, 2013
8:58 am

Courtside – where did I say blue collar guys are a turn off? is it the dirty nails? the unkempt hair?

Button

April 18th, 2013
8:59 am

Courtside – My late husband, bless his soul, was a blue collar worker. He was a welder. So you’re way off with your assumption!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 18th, 2013
9:07 am

Button,

Your list says otherwise…..(rough hands – dirty finger nails – unkempt hair/face – that 5 o’clock shadow) :)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 18th, 2013
9:07 am

When I brag, I do so for 2 reasons:

1) it’s true, and

2) I’m proud of me.

While the list of things I brag about is extensive, the main things I’ll tell you is about me; where I come from, who/what I overcame, and the (great) man my journey has made me.

Even being slightly facetious, my bragging is real.

Walk a mile wit me, see if what I told you ain’t the truth.

*Is how I felt when I was single

Into the Light

April 18th, 2013
9:09 am

I love nerds. Always have, always will.

@Button: You do realize that if a guy does most of the things on your turn-on list, his fingernails are going to get dirty, right? LOL. I’m just funning with you – I know you meant guys with poor grooming outside of work.

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:14 am

Courtside – trust, I’ve seen some guys with unkempt hair, hands and nails in the office environment.

Into the LIght – LOL not if he wear gloves :wink:

I know quite a few blue collar guys whose hands are so well groomed and smoother than a baby bottom. and yes they wear gloves while working. and no they are not metro sexual. Just men who take pride in their appearance.

MissMoni

April 18th, 2013
9:15 am

GOOD Thursday Morning MIA!!! * Today is MY Friday!* :-D

I’m with Button in that my turn ons/offs are pretty comparable with my peers. I also agree with Diva in that a man with a nice vocabulary is like music to my ears. I like for my mind to be stimulated and I really enjoy engaging conversations. I’m quite diverse, so it’s refreshing when a man can converse on a variety of topics. Honestly, everyone has some type of quirks, the key is to recognize that you have them. :-)

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:15 am

“I may even start to feels stabby….” – Is that the same as feeling “froggy?” (lol).

Bragging on much of anything is definitely a turn off. A deep voice is definitely a turn on, nice hands, well groomed.

Turn off, wrinkled clothes. Not talking about clothes that get wrinkled during the date, but coming out the gate with wrinkled clothes, bad breath, constant foul language, to name a few.

Morning!

MissMoni

April 18th, 2013
9:17 am

Hi Leggs! I absolutely agree with your contribution to the turn off list! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who is big on ironing, LOL!

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:18 am

I know a machanic who has clean nails. Your job/career should not dictate how you carry yourself. You don’t see doctors walking around with blood/speciman/fluid on them. or a dentist with teeth all in his hair. lol

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:20 am

Leggs – yes, foul language is a sure fire turn off.

disco

April 18th, 2013
9:23 am

good morning folks. I’ll start off by piggybacking others’ comments.

lee – I don’t know about sean connery’s voice but I do agree some guys have a voice that will suck you right in.

button – that 5o’clock shadow sets some guys off. having them looking real right. lol. re poetry writers. that one doesn’t work for me. had one guy writing me poetry. all of my friends fell for that crap. it did nothing for me. lol.

re a man’s hands. I have to say I’d much rather have a guy with rough hands than one whose hands are too daggone soft. a brother gone have to work up a callus or something.

Celisea

April 18th, 2013
9:25 am

Turn offs –
Men whiners
Men crybabies.
Always got their bvds in a wad
Unbelievers (those same folks though think it’s their duty regulate)

Turn Ons
Godly men
Achievers (and proud of :mrgreen: )
Hustlers (legally of course)
Laid back (that air about them)

Into the Light

April 18th, 2013
9:26 am

I have to say I’d much rather have a guy with rough hands than one whose hands are too daggone soft

co-sign. Or hands that are too small. That’s just weird.

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:28 am

disco – a brother gone have to work up a callus or something. —- lol girl I know you like em rough!

Coach

April 18th, 2013
9:28 am

Good Good Morning tho

I love reading, and Barnes and Nobles is one of my favorite places. Since we are in Atlanta, try Gone with the wind. It really is well written and a excellent story.

I do not like when women will take mess off one guy, but when another guy does something smaller than that he gets cut off.

I like a woman who is positive, fun, respectful and will not look down on you because you A. dont make as much as she does, B. might not have all the material niceties, C. getting your life together so that you can bring sumthin to the table.

P.S. I like to read Creative Loafing “the blotter” pure comedy! :)

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:32 am

Coach – I love reading the blotter too.

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:32 am

MissMoni ~ hello. My friends laugh at me how seriously I take ironing. I have one friend who laughs to this day (18 years later) about how I would iron Lil Legs baby clothes.

ITL, I’m always weirded out by men with very soft hands. Just seems unnatural (lol). I think I have the roughest hands known to woman!!

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
9:33 am

ITL – Small hands mean a big weenie…at least the illusion of a big weenie while he’s holding it :shock: jk

Coach

April 18th, 2013
9:34 am

@ Button

The blotter is tooooooo funny. You know it has to be true because sum of that stuff you know you cant make up.
;)

disco

April 18th, 2013
9:35 am

button – sho’ you right. at the very least rougher than me. feeling tougher or stronger than your man is not a good look.

coach – actually accepting something from one that you won’t tolerate from others really isn’t that unusual. some folks make you weak in the knees without trying and others can try every trick in the book and get no response. because of that a person may be prone to having different levels of tolerance for different people.

leggs – my son has that ironing “compulsion”. no lie, I caught that boy ironing his shoestrings once. lol.

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:35 am

I’ve yet to meet a man with very soft hands.
I hate sweaty hands whether its soft or ruff (not rough) lol

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
9:35 am

I like to read Creative Loafing “the blotter” pure comedy!

Coach – As do I…as do i…hollers :lol:

czBrat ♀

April 18th, 2013
9:36 am

hey, good people. i’m in desperate need of a respite from work. just for a few. why not pop in on blogsville?

i actually find it easy to pinpoint what turns me on (charming, witty, great eyes and smile).
but it’s like i have to experience the “offs” in order to say “ok. THAT, right there, never again!”

i think my turn ons/offs are probably common to most women. for the longest time i couldn’t see myself with someone who was heavily into bodybuilding, tho. that was probably off the wall for most.

Into the Light

April 18th, 2013
9:37 am

LOL@Slim and Leggs.

There is just something so weird about a guy whose hands are softer and/or smaller than yours. Feels unnatural to hold his hand. ((((shudder))))

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:37 am

disco – you have ruff hands?? lol
My hands are soft like a baby’s top bottom. And a man whose hands is ruff like sand paper is a no no. That just makes no darn sense.

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:38 am

Coach ~ I love “The Blotter” Pure d comedy.

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
9:40 am

ITL – So the woman’s hand would be on the outside if you were holding hands with a mini-handed man lol

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:40 am

Into the Light – girlllllll lol small soft hands = undeveloped

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:40 am

disco ~ I have ironed my shoelaces. Wrinkled ones curl up and don’t look right. What’s wrong with ironing those (lol). I like your son already.

(Ooops, disco don’t like older women complimenting her son….cracking myself up)

Reio

April 18th, 2013
9:40 am

disco – “I caught that boy ironing his shoestrings once. lol. ” Was he hiding while doing it, or otherwise trying to make sure you didn’t see him?

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:41 am

small soft hands = small soft weiner

Reio

April 18th, 2013
9:41 am

What’s ‘The Blotter’?

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
9:43 am

Button hahahahahaha Now you know i’m going to think that very post the next time i’m holding a small soft-handed man. Sort mini-weener, soft mini-weener…

czBrat ♀

April 18th, 2013
9:43 am

after reading some of your posts, i’m ashamed to admit that a dude (even “my” dude) whining when he’s sick turns me the he!! off.
i have no problem looking after you until you’re better, but please suffer in silence.

Turn off, wrinkled clothes. Not talking about clothes that get wrinkled during the date, but coming out the gate with wrinkled clothes
just ugh. no wonder you and s/o get along. i’m constantly irked by his need to iron a t-shirt. LOL

disco

April 18th, 2013
9:45 am

button – for the record, I may be a rough type chick but I stay “greased up”. cocoa butter, shea butter, coconut oil down. lol.

reio – he wasn’t hiding. I just thought it was odd that he had his shoelaces stretched out on the ironing board. he also went through spray starch like nobody’s business. I haven’t even bought any since he’s been out of the house. you could say what you wanted about him but you couldn’t say he didn’t stay fresh and pressed.

MissMoni

April 18th, 2013
9:45 am

-disco Nothing wrong with ironing shoestrings, LOL! I had an older cousin that would iron his money before putting it in his wallet.

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:46 am

czB ~ cracking up. Of course you should iron your t-shirts. Hell, I even iron my sweat pants.

Button

April 18th, 2013
9:46 am

Coach – I believe the recaps are true. Trust, I’ve seen some things while at piedmont park and the surrounding area.

Leggs

April 18th, 2013
9:47 am

disco ~ spray starch used to be one of my best friends. I’ve since stopped using it, but man, we were close buds!!!

SlimNu -1

April 18th, 2013
9:49 am

Leggs – How many iron’s have you gone through in the last 2years lol And is yours all black on the bottom now from overuse?