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Career keeping you single?

Many  of us work really hard and  long hours every week.  This can obviously make dating a bit of a challenge.   Carving out time for a social life is important, though.  All work and no play keeps perpetually single!

There are other ways that our jobs can impact our dating options.  My friend Carl makes extra money as a bartender.  A lot of his shift is spent shamelessly flirting with women, much to his girlfriend’s chagrin.  His last girlfriend could not handle it and he met his current girlfriend while tending bar.  I wonder how long before she also takes issue with his workplace flirting.

Have you ever dated someone who worked way too many hours?  Was it a real struggle to get them to leave work?  How do you manage to balance work and play so that you get go on dates?

What would you do if the person you were seeing had a job that made you uncomfortable?  Do you bring it up or respect their decision to hustle for money they way that they see fit?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

257 comments Add your comment

Penelope

April 16th, 2013
7:14 am

Hello, Peepsykins

I do not think that I would do okay if my hubs worked all hours of the day. Fortunately, we have sufficient time together for cultivating our marriage. I am that gal that cannot make due with little time. That would be murder on my marriage.

I do not think I would be okay with the guy in the example. I am not okay with little time, on top of that time spent flirting with other gals.

Y’all be sweet!

Lee

April 16th, 2013
7:27 am

At this moment in time I am too busy for anyone. I work full time and go to school part time, between work and school and working out there is only time to relax and do the things i need to get done around the house. Started painting each room of my house starting to look really good, then come the yard work to prepare to sell my house– so much to do so little time.
I feel that if I started something with someone– what real time could i give (which is none)!? that would be unfair for the both of us. So for now i need to complete my goals so I can get to a place that is good for me. Life is a cycle good times will come again with fun in the sun and adventure to be had.

Single and Happy

April 16th, 2013
7:32 am

Hello all

How do you manage to balance work and play so that you get go on dates? If you don’t know how to balance THINGS in your life whether it’s a career, religion, family or relationship, it will take a toll on other parts of your life.

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
7:45 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!!!

I agree with Single & Happy, if you don’t learn to balance other parts of your life will suffer. For some people that is ok, however I really like having balance (blame it on my slight OCD).

How do you manage to balance work and play so that you get go on dates? For me it has to be someone really special for me to want to spend my free time with them. My free time is something that I value greatly, considering that it’s not often that I get an abundance of it, so I use it wisely. For the record, I don’t always want to spend my free time with someone else, I actually love spending time with myself doing exactly what I want to do.

If you’re uncomfortable with the type of career that your mate has then you need to check yourself. If you can’t deal with it, then you have the option to simply move on. For example, I don’t date military guys because I don’t like the long deployments and the constant moving around. Know what your preferences are and stick with it.

Exiled

April 16th, 2013
8:06 am

People date and find and spend time with what and who they value. If he values work then he will do more work/career,giving less regard to the others demanding his/her time.

If you happen to get into that mix,don’t moan. Fit it with the flow. Afterall you know what you are getting into.
Nobody is Ever single because of their work/career.

They are single because their career/work is paramount,front and center and priority and not dating!

Other folks will improvise if the dating time is an issue.
Doctors couple up with nurses and other doctors because they see that tail
errday,errhour,adnauseum !! Make it do what it Do!! :lol:

But I know some women have very unrealistic ambitions that’s why they are single. Or they just lie.

Lying about a non existent boyfriend(pregnancy)or the reason she don’t have one is something All chics learn Early in the growing up phase!! :lol:

……another level for u Disco. :lol:

Morning MIA!!!

(the brick comment had me laughing Loooong after blog close last nite!) :lol:

Exiled

April 16th, 2013
8:08 am

fit in with p

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
8:10 am

Morning all,

I have attempted to date a guy that alawys had something going on, whether it was work related or fraternity related, family related, church related etc….he didn’t sit still long enough for me to even want to put in any extra effort to really get to know each other. He did seem like a really good, down to earth guy but it’s hard to start off a courtship when a person is always off the next event, shindig, etc….I often wondered what would’ve come from that but it just wasn’t time…our time.

As far as meeting someone with a job i’m uncomfortable with, it probably wouldn’t progress. That’s like dating a guy that is a male dancer or something. You pretty much know what that entails and it’s just not something I’d be ready and willing to sign up for. Just keeping it real.

Hazel

April 16th, 2013
8:13 am

Some things have to have priority. When dating, after about 4-5 dates my husband told me that for the next 2 years he will be concentrating solely on his finaly years of residency and will not be able to go out on such dates. I understood and literally for the next 2 years, i only saw him on weekends and that too whie he was studying. If you didn’t ride, you cannot arrive. All situations may not be the same so you have to look at the picture as a whole and analyze

Big Al

April 16th, 2013
8:17 am

Balance is important in life. I am a CPA and work as a healthcare consultant. I also co-own several medical office buildings. You would think that I am a workaholic but nothing could be further from the truth. You just have to know how to work efficiently and delegate.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
8:22 am

Ex – I’m convinced some dudes have a radar…out of the blue yesterday, I get a text from my old neighbor asking how things were going with me. He asked the ‘relationship/love’ question, of which I was like, dang are you psychic or something and told him I was NEWLY single. He then calls me, (LOL) and asks me out later this week. It was flattering but i’m not ready.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 16th, 2013
8:29 am

Morning folks!!! Slim, sorry about the breakup :( …Hope you are doing well……. As for today’s topic, Ex hit the nail on the head…People make time for what they want to make time for……. If its worth it to you, you will, and if she is not, you won’t…. It really is just that simple…….

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
8:32 am

-SlimNu Ooooo, it does seem that his radar went off at just the right time. Not to get too personal, but how much time do you think you’re gonna need? Do you genuinely like him? :-)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 16th, 2013
8:42 am

@Slim

There’s always a disturbance in the (player)’force’ when fresh meat goes on the market.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
8:46 am

There’s always a disturbance in the (player)’force’ when fresh meat goes on the market.

Dan – Oh how do I love comic relief in the morning. lolol Is is anything like the amber alerts we get to our cell phones? lol

MIssMoni – I’m not sure how much time I’ll need to be honest…Just feels too soon as of right now but I am going out this Friday so we’ll see how that turns out lol…as far as the old neighbor, I never looked at him in that light so maybe it’s safe to say, I never felt a romantic type attraction to him. He used to work with a cousin of mine so I really met him through her. He would come down to our apt and have long convos about life, relationships, etc.

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
8:52 am

-SlimNu Oh ok. Glad to hear you’re going out on Friday!!! ;-)

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
8:53 am

Slim, sorry about the breakup

Court – Thanks bud…it’s not your fault though ;-)

Button

April 16th, 2013
8:54 am

Good morning! I agree with Single, MissMoni & Exile. That about sums it up for me. For now.

Button

April 16th, 2013
8:57 am

Aww SlimNu-1. Sorry to learn about your break-up. :(
Your neighbor is a hoot, maybe he does have a radar pointed in your direction. Funny how some neighbors are always up in your business.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 16th, 2013
9:02 am

On topic

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_12?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=your%20degrees%20wont%20keep%20you%20warm%20at%20night&sprefix=your+degrees%2Caps%2C1106

And neither will your job.

It’s funny that people use all these excuses for not wanting to put themselves out to give their time to someone else, put themselves out, and yes, sometimes be hurt.

You could blame it on the job, the fraternity (though, really? the thought of hanging out with dudes over some soft leg has kept me GDI), church, past relationships or whatever. In the end, you’ve made a decision to potentially not engage to find someone to make the non work, church, fraternity (again, really?) hours that you spend alone mean more than passing the time.

It’s sad. And no job, religion, or other pursuit is worth your (my) happyness (spelt correctly). And until folks make those decisions for themselves, they’ll always be a myriad of reasons – few of them good – as to why someone “doesn’t have time” to date/find love.

SFLP, good morning

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 16th, 2013
9:02 am

Say Slim…..You know what they say is the fastest way for a women to get over a man is?????/

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 16th, 2013
9:03 am

@Slim

No alert; just a warm tingling sensation in the lions…the smell of “new” in the air…

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
9:08 am

Button – What’s more funny is he has not been my neighbor for probably about 4 years now lolol He must’ve been strolling through fb or something to trigger the “hello how ya doing”. Who knows…

Court – Um,….I think i’ll pass on the ‘get under another man’…But I appreciate the suggestion. lol If I get that urge, I’ll just reach in my handy dandy night stand drawer; the best no strings attached arrangement a person can have. :oops:

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
9:12 am

Dan – I wonder if some folks need all that ‘goings on’ to feel important or full of purpose. Could they be running from something? lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

April 16th, 2013
9:18 am

Slim1:

I read where you had a pitfall in your relationship, glad to read how mature you accepted it and didn’t become bitter. You were one of the first to offer your shoulder to me when my mom came down with cancer last year. Now I offer you mine, let it ride it doesn’t take two, three years to know if you want to marry a person you love. I read a strong young lady in you that has humor and class remain that way.

disco

April 16th, 2013
9:30 am

good morning.

ex – I’m not even sure what level you are on this morning.

I know some folks who spend more time at work than necessary simply because they don’t want to go home. one guy friend of mine refused to come off second shift. he could have gone to first anytime he wanted. I insisted he chose second so as not to have to spend time with his family. lol.

random – someone told me this morning I needed “love lessons”. eyeroll and later for him. lol.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
9:30 am

BF – Awww, don’t make me cry :cry: But I do put up a good front ;-) Basically, I prayed that God would reveal the answer to me plain as day, so I could not try to rationalize, make excuses for, or negotiate the answer….So He definitely provided me with what I asked for…the beau or should i say ex-beau said, his conscious couldn’t take it anymore because he knew how important it was to me. Yes, i’m a bit hurt that he carried on the charade for this amount of time but it’s something I have to accept and move on about. I’d like to think i’m a resilient chick, so i’m going to try my best to get through it. Ya’ll really showed me some love and it made yesterday feel like this is going to be a walk in the park.(i’m forever grateful) I’m even more so glad that any haters or misery-lovers, decided to take a day off lolol

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 16th, 2013
9:32 am

@Blackfoote: “didn’t become bitter”..yet. There’s always time. Crazy simmers, it rarely boils.

@Slim

It usually starts out as a distraction, a way of “occpuying the time” or “keeping busy”, or in the case of the career “getting ahead.” It’s only when those around them that seek balance attain it, that the people look up and realize they’ve given themselves (time, energy, and effort) into project/people/an organization that won’t ever fulfill them.

It’s the reason that there are 40+ yo men and women in the club, on the net, or paying someone to set them up for dates. They devoted themselves to something that can’t ever love them back.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
9:34 am

someone told me this morning I needed “love lessons”. eyeroll and later for him

disco – So does that mean you’re back now? lolol

Celisea

April 16th, 2013
9:38 am

Goooood morning!!

Two things…and I always say it….time and money, men will spend for the women they love!!

DreamsMaterialize

April 16th, 2013
9:38 am

Morning
No one is too busy to date. You just have to find people in the same market as you. If you’re a doctor, date a nurse or someone with a similar schedule. If you’re a single parent, then date other single parents or people who understand that weekdays are school nights and are ok with seeing you on weekends. It’s all about targeted solicitation.

Celisea

April 16th, 2013
9:42 am

Ya fooling yaself if you’re not a priority and not getting both!!

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
9:43 am

It’s the reason that there are 40+ yo men and women in the club, on the net, or paying someone to set them up for dates

Dan – It’s funny you said that because at church Sunday this lady was talking about her friend is trying to get her to join a sorority. Now this lady looks like she’s probably late 50’s early 60’s. I’m not knocking the greek life but I had just never heard of folks in that age bracket still considering that type of thing. I guess the bottom line is we all want to feel needed/wanted or have our place in life.

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
9:46 am

(Time & Money) “Ya fooling yaself if you’re not a priority and not getting both!!”

-Celisea I couldn’t agree with you more on this!!!

disco

April 16th, 2013
9:48 am

slim – am I back now? for sho’ and in full effect. lol. dude gone call me out for not being “loving” enough. I told him maybe if he wasn’t so daggone loving he wouldn’t have all those kids, ex-wives and baby mommas. too much love in his life.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
10:00 am

disco – DANG, how many kids and baby mama’s does he have?

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
10:02 am

-SlimNu I went back and read your comments from yesterday. . . Somehow I totally MISSED that!!! Do what’s best for you, learn your lesson and keep moving forward. I applaud you for sharing something so fresh and personal with us. I’ve been there and although it doesn’t feel good now, things will get better.

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
10:03 am

-disco You know you got me cracking up over here, LOL!!! I’m with SlimNu exactly how many does he have???

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

April 16th, 2013
10:06 am

Slim1:
There’s your answer, the man upstairs may let you feel a little pain but will cast it away in time.

LOL…..@ Dan still Superior
Crazy do simmer, although I beleive Slim1 has a firm handle on this one.

disco

April 16th, 2013
10:09 am

slim / moni – dude and I go way back so we pass jabs like that. he’s got 9 children (that I know of – lol). 6 of the 9 are over 18 for what that’s worth. he’s got 2 ex-wives (5 kids) and 4 baby mommas. let him tell it, he’s still a good catch though. lol. I tell him yeah for a certain type of somebody he’s still a good catch. lol.

DreamsMaterialize

April 16th, 2013
10:10 am

dude gone call me out for not being “loving” enough.
disco don’t love these ho3s

Single and Happy

April 16th, 2013
10:13 am

Disco, I’m one of those guys that doesn’t want to work the same hours as my S/O I need some me time.

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
10:15 am

-disco You told him right, LOL!!! Does he at least have a job making real good money? I ask because that’s alot of kids to financially take care of in addition to dating a NEW girlfriend. . .

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
10:17 am

Dan/BF – No crazy has slipped in just yet but if I feel myself stepping into psycho, yall will be the first to know. I’m sure i’ll need someone to talk me down from the legde or talk the brick out of my hand. (thanks disco) ;-)

disco

April 16th, 2013
10:19 am

s/h – maybe that’s okay with a dude and his s/o but second shift and (school aged) kids generally don’t mix.

moni – his money is tight. he’s retired military and current govt employee. he has custody of these last 3 under 18s and he had custody 3 of the 5 over 18s. he does alright. that’s why I tell him he’ll meet some chick who cares more about the money than the kids. lol.

SlimNu -1

April 16th, 2013
10:20 am

There is nothing about meeting a guy with that many kids that says, “Hey, I want to get to know you better…I wanna date you”…sorry but it is what it is.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

April 16th, 2013
10:21 am

Slim…I’m sorry to hear about your breakup…but HE is making room for the right one..but only when HE knows you’re ready so take your time and do you. Have a blast this Friday.

SassaFrass is sending peace and sunshiney vibes your way, chica :mrgreeb:

he’s got 9 children (that I know of – lol). 6 of the 9 are over 18 for what that’s worth. he’s got 2 ex-wives (5 kids) and 4 baby mommas.

:shock:

Whoa…

MissMoni

April 16th, 2013
10:21 am

-disco I agree with you on that. There are some females who don’t care about the number of kids as long as the money he’s willing to give her is good.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

April 16th, 2013
10:21 am

I assess reasons why I’m not booed up and being employed isn’t one. I may have to work night, day ,or mid shifts but there’s always time for a lady in my world. Now she may not like my work schedule at least she can choose to stick it out or call it a night.

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

April 16th, 2013
10:22 am

should’ve been :mrgreen:

:oops:

I tried…

Celisea

April 16th, 2013
10:23 am

More than anything, God being the center of your life, AT ALL TIMES, will definitely show you the path to take. I’ve seen hustlers, gamers, liars, no do gooders, tricksters….all of it. But one thing I will eternally say, God is the protecter and wards off unesireables that intends hurt or degradation. Keeping him first, he’ll heighten your senses to allow you to move in another direction. Also, you have to recognize the opening, it when it comes. Remember the story of the man stranded on the roof and all the boats came by but he took a pass “cause he was waiting on God?” Well, God told him the boats were you lifeline So yes, he’s got that all seeing eye and if your hand is in his hand, you won’t get lost or miss a beat…even if you stray a little. Oh, he’ll also let’s you know the devil ain’t in a red suit with a pitchfork and a tail….lololol