I was having dinner with my friend Ellen recently and we got on the topic of dating without guilt. Ellen has this bad habit on taking on head cases or “projects” when it comes to dating. I think she qualifies for saint status, at this point. She does not know when to cut her losses and move on. The red flags are there, yet she decides to give it time.
While Ellen has a big heart and enormous patience, I would say that most of her dating is done out of pity. I see a lot of single people that do this. It sort of becomes this savior complex because the relationship is about sympathy. Not chemistry, not sex, not even money. When a person is dating someone out of pity, they have an overwhelming sense of guilt about dumping them.
I admit that I have done this before and it did not end well. I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I tried to ignore the lack of chemistry or connection. The reality is, though, you do both of you a disservice if you date out of pity.
Have you ever dated someone because you felt sorry for them? Do you ever feel guilty about letting someone down? Does it ever help to remain friends with them?
Do you ever suspect that you are a pity date?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog