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Dating tip: Less conversation?

My friend Brian had a first date recently and he told me what many men often say about first dates: “She talked way too much,” which is apparently a huge turn off.  I always thought the first couple of dates are supposed to be “getting to know you” dates, so shouldn’t talking be required?  Well, it depends.  If you talk too much about the wrong thing, it can be a bad thing.

For instance, you talk too much about yourself, your exes, or reality television.  Brian said he would have preferred that she talked less if her conversation was going to consistently be, and I’m quoting here, “wack conversation,” end quote.  If you have to talk less to impress  someone, I think it is a bad sign.  What do you think?

Do you ever wish that your date talked less?  If you take conversation out of the equation, what else should you do on the first couple of dates?

My buddy Brian said that his best dates are conversation “light” and heavy on activity that lets you show your personality.  He likes going to Dave and Busters, sporting events, or bowling.  He likes to see a woman interact with other people and in different settings to get a good sense of how she carries herself.  His belief is that it is easy to be fake and phony when you are sitting at dinner talking, talking and talking some more. What do you think?

I know a lot of guys who hate talking on the phone, but it seems that men are more and more anti-conversation.  Is it just the guys I know?

Unlike Brian, I love conversation, so please weigh in!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

377 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:03 pm

(ITL now humming Axel F)

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:04 pm

Thanks…Dreams. lol
Du I tried man. You know in the WWF Battle Royal when a bunch of cats team up to put one dude out the ring? The blog women had you on the ropes, holding on tight. lol

Heeeeeey, Dreams.
ITL Hey how’s it going?

Ray J has always been moist to me.
kimmie That goes without saying. You always see things MY way. ;-) How have you been?

daddy swiss

April 10th, 2013
4:04 pm

ITL — Yep, I saw TMBG at the 40 Watt waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day. Man, when I think back to all the great shows I saw — for super cheap & in tiny venues — back in my college days it makes going to a concert at Lakewood, etc., seem like a total rip off…

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:05 pm

But if you were chasing and hanging on like that, then yeah,

Court – I think one would have to be “lost” to be grabbing ankles and stuff and lost in order for the switcharoo work. I have yet to be “lost.”

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:05 pm

I want to hear it to, but disco probably cussed her out saying what many women would say when the wife calls the house. Pretty sure disco made her clutch her pearls and hyperventiliate.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:06 pm

disco – We’re waiting…..

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:06 pm

@Swiss: They’re at Variety this weekend. thinking about going to the Sunday show.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:07 pm

DuShawn last question from me. I’m thinking about the first time you ate at her house. What unfinished business made you go back 3 more times? After each time did you talk to yourself on the way home saying things like “homey, be smart, it’s not worth it???”

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:07 pm

@Dreams: You gonna post a pic of your TM medal for all to see!?!?!?

disco

April 10th, 2013
4:08 pm

y’all remember I told y’all that years ago I dated a guy who “forgot” to tell me he had another girlfriend. I was young, I rolled with it. whatever. she eventually found out about me and came to my house, took his truck and parked it in long term parking at the airport where it stayed for like 6 weeks. lol. I still think that’s classic. fast forward, I move away, he marries her a few years later, whatever, whatever. so a few years ago (like 10 years after we shared her man and I’d moved away) she calls me talking about finding my number in his phone. I’m like really? you calling me? I’m a 1000 miles away. thing is. she didn’t know it was me she was calling. when I made her know who I was you could hear the crush in her voice. like “he still talks to you?” yep heffa he still talks to me. not only that I started breaking things down for her. I started telling that woman about her own momma and her own kids. I told her about her job and what kind of daggone medication she was on. I took no prisoners.

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:09 pm

But really, he should just let it go
Slim Yeah ’cause the longer he hangs on to that, the more it makes him look salty.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:09 pm

Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I’m the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:10 pm

daaaaaaaaaaaang….I thought I was brutal.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
4:12 pm

Dreams – What do you think of the whole sex tape leak? Do you think him and Kim set that up, did Ray J just leak it or what? Just curious what you thought…

Leggs – You in a fight with Ray J is H I L A R I O U S And I really do not see what women get to cussing folks out if they are the wife or even being called by a wife, especially if neither were aware of the other.

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:12 pm

@Dreams: You gonna post a pic of your TM medal for all to see!?!?!?
ITL We actually got orange headbands. Yeah I’m officially a Tough Mudder. I’m still sore though.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:12 pm

disco – You bout to be my shero after that one…lol IJS

Y’all remember the dude I made go home and use his own toilet? Well, he’s the only dude I’ve interacted with where a chick called me. Of course there was nothing going on, I wasn’t feeling him “like that” and I didn’t know about her.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:15 pm

:shock: @ disco. Now I’M clutching my pearls and gasping. :lol:

@Dreams: An orange headband??? After all that?!?!?!? Hope you at least got a t-shirt, too.

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
4:15 pm

Dreams – I’ve been good, can’t complain. Wouldn’t do any good anyway!LOL!! Glad to read ya! Congrats on being a TM!

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
4:15 pm

Leggs – “What exactly is trying someone “half heartedly?” That’s when you ask for some so unenthusiastically and disinterested that the chick says “dayum, you can’t ask any better than that”. It’s done moreso out of habit than desire. (i.e. “Hey, I gotta be somewhere in like 45 minutes, so you wanna f&*ck or what?”)

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:18 pm

@Du: But the other part of the question was what would you have done if she said yes?

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

April 10th, 2013
4:18 pm

Just passing thru..heeey y’all :mrgreen:

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
4:18 pm

DuShawn last question from me. I’m thinking about the first time you ate at her house. What unfinished business made you go back 3 more times? She lives minutes from my office, it was lunchtime, I was hungry and she could cook.

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:19 pm

What do you think of the whole sex tape leak? Do you think him and Kim set that up, did Ray J just leak it or what? Just curious what you thought…
Slim It could have been both of them, but I’m not sure what Kim was really getting out of the deal. Her family already had plenty dough. Ray J does seem like the weasel type though, so he might have leaked it. I used to date this chick who once had a run-in with Ray J in a club. Apparently, her and her friend were in a club here in Atlanta, and Ray J was in there with some other cat. Ray J starts dancing with her friend and grabbing her butt. Ol’ girl told him to back off, and he starts yelling at her and pushes her down. The chicks go grab club security, and when Ray J sees them coming, he and his homeboy run out of the club. Like I said…crème brulee…

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
4:20 pm

Disco – Not mad atcha.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:20 pm

Hey there, Sassy Mae. You feeling better today (cough cough)? :lol:

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
4:21 pm

“what would you have done if she said yes?”

He would have rolled her over, worked up whatever was needed to catch a quick one and left her to finish up on her own………

disco

April 10th, 2013
4:21 pm

celisea – I told that woman what pictures she had on her desk at work. I told her about her baby girl’s favorite pink galoshes. oh she couldn’t imagine how I knew so much about her. sure, a lot it came from her man but a lot of it came from the streets. I know she probably gets tourettes whenever she hears my name. lol.

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
4:22 pm

what would you have done if she said yes? If questions are a trip.If my anut had nuts she would she be my uncle. She wasn’t with it nor am I.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:22 pm

@Court: That’s cold, man. Cold.

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:22 pm

An orange headband??? After all that?!?!?!? Hope you at least got a t-shirt, too.
ITL Shoot I was glad just to be done. lol

I’ve been good, can’t complain. Wouldn’t do any good anyway!LOL!! Glad to read ya! Congrats on being a TM!
kimmie Naw, you’re not the complaining type anyway. Thanks for the congrats. That was psycho event number 2 of the year. My ego keeps getting me into these kinds of things. lol

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:24 pm

Dang, Du….defensive much?

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:24 pm

Shenanigans, I tell ya…unending…..lol

Night folks!!!

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:28 pm

That’s when you ask for some so unenthusiastically and disinterested that the chick says “dayum, you can’t ask any better than that”. – That actually happens in real life??? I’ve never been asked unenthusiastically. Sorry, but WTH you asking for it AT All. Are there still paddles in the storage room. Wait, he might light that.

So, she’s walking the streets at lunchtime hoping to spot your disappearing behind (lol).

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:29 pm

Ut oh, DuShawn is stuttering. I kid, I kid…

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:30 pm

I don’t know anything about TM or what a Mudder is, but congrats on completing it.

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
4:30 pm

Night Celisea

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:30 pm

might LIKE….

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
4:32 pm

Night, MsAtl….we’re wrapping up the call and I’m out of here! :mrgreen:

Sassy Me...Feeling like new ;-)

April 10th, 2013
4:33 pm

You feeling better today (cough cough)?

Heey ITL…I’m better, thank you :lol:

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:36 pm

O/T: How come we never open the blog bar anymore?!?!??!?!?

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:37 pm

LOL@Sassy. Glad to hear it.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:39 pm

Guess the same reason we no longer have blog breakfast. Do u remeber when a poster complained about our virtual breakfast and drinks. Just goes to show you you can find a sourpuss just about anywhere.

Durty Burd (Did Celisea take the call at 4:30?)

April 10th, 2013
4:42 pm

Good Afternoon!

Mrs. Kimmie please share your complaining thoughts? hehehehe

I thought Celisea was going to be on a call, I guess she like blogging better! Celisea do you twitter?

The ladies come out with guns blazing at Du, yall know DU is a playa situation is handled.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:43 pm

The MLB always stick together……..Durty, Dreams, Du, Court….all of ‘em.

disco

April 10th, 2013
4:47 pm

tick tick tick tick tick. (that’s not a bomb. just the clock).

daddy swiss

April 10th, 2013
4:48 pm

“Just goes to show you you can find a sourpuss just about anywhere.”

Public Service Announcement:

Ladies, if you have sourpuss, please see you gynecologist immediately.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
4:48 pm

“he ladies come out with guns blazing at Du, yall know DU is a playa situation is handled.”

And that’s whats up…….

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:49 pm

C’mon, disco. give us one of your family stories…..

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
4:49 pm

I don’t know anything about TM or what a Mudder is, but congrats on completing it
Leggs TM stands for Tough Mudder. It’s 11 miles of obstacle courses (there were 21 obstacles in mine).

http://toughmudder.com/

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:50 pm