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Dating tip: Less conversation?

My friend Brian had a first date recently and he told me what many men often say about first dates: “She talked way too much,” which is apparently a huge turn off.  I always thought the first couple of dates are supposed to be “getting to know you” dates, so shouldn’t talking be required?  Well, it depends.  If you talk too much about the wrong thing, it can be a bad thing.

For instance, you talk too much about yourself, your exes, or reality television.  Brian said he would have preferred that she talked less if her conversation was going to consistently be, and I’m quoting here, “wack conversation,” end quote.  If you have to talk less to impress  someone, I think it is a bad sign.  What do you think?

Do you ever wish that your date talked less?  If you take conversation out of the equation, what else should you do on the first couple of dates?

My buddy Brian said that his best dates are conversation “light” and heavy on activity that lets you show your personality.  He likes going to Dave and Busters, sporting events, or bowling.  He likes to see a woman interact with other people and in different settings to get a good sense of how she carries herself.  His belief is that it is easy to be fake and phony when you are sitting at dinner talking, talking and talking some more. What do you think?

I know a lot of guys who hate talking on the phone, but it seems that men are more and more anti-conversation.  Is it just the guys I know?

Unlike Brian, I love conversation, so please weigh in!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

377 comments Add your comment

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:16 pm

Leggs – Yep having dinner in her home, no doubt reminiscing on yesteryear got someone moist.

Igg zackly….as Mmeello said the other morning “she ready”…lololol

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:17 pm

Yep. Co-sign Celisea’s 3:15.

Swiss: You still lhere?????

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:17 pm

MsAtl ~ I was 5 mins away from walking out the door when I decided to change shoes. No time to polish 10 toes and wait for them to dry (lol).

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:19 pm

And DuShawn, during those dinner encounters how many times did she kiss you on the neck. I’m flipping the script and say she kissed you first simply because you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your marriage. Strike one….

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:19 pm

I’m not because I’m not on team emotional cheating

Disco – LOL!!! Girl, I’m cutting up!! And I agree, something went down. Chick might be a little crazy anyway, but I just don’t see her holding on this hard over just a few meals.

“Dang it, I done stood up over a hot stove every afternoon, feedin yo behind!! It’s Payback Time”!!!!

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:22 pm

Nonresponsiveness i.e. igging works when NOTHING happens. You can’t flip the script after getting all cozy and expect that to be equally effective. I mean, sometimes it works but sometimes….you’re dabbing in crazy. Some women (and men) just don’t take no. They feel like you’ve played them. Not saying she’s right. Yes, she should move on and take the igging for what it is. But, it just might not be that simple.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:22 pm

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:24 pm

…..and some people need the “why” to get their “closure”….. You might just have to some clean with her and tell her, Du.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:24 pm

I thought my non responsiveness said all that. – Some people can’t read “Ghost.”

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:25 pm

he hit but has better sense than to admit to it…….c’mom seriously. All the personal info I’ve told in here, you think I would hesitate to say I hit that. I half heartedly tried her, but she was playing hard to get. Thank God.

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
3:28 pm

DuShawn- Now you know, if the Blog ladies have taught y’all anything, it’s that you can’t assume; you have to be upfront and honest. You need to get her back in her lane before she hits that median.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:28 pm

@Du: You get a head thunk and a “Well duh!” from me. :roll:

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:29 pm

You’re absolutely right, MsAtl, because once she hits that median it’s all out full throttle!!!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
3:30 pm

Du, Playa to Playa, You need to get a friend of a friend to holla at her so her focus can be on him instead of you…. Not one od your homies, but a dude just outside the circle with not a lot of connection. He gets some new booty in the pipeline and you get crazy point towards someone else…..

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:30 pm

I thought my non responsiveness said all that

Dushawn – But the fact that you did go over there several times SHOWED her otherwise. She’s turning into Urkel, “I’m wearing you dowwwwwwn”

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:31 pm

I half heartedly tried her, but she was playing hard to get.

And had she said yes? I rest my case….lol You both are at fault. Be a man about it. Stop with the igging and nonresponsive and close the loop on this one. Have the talk, shut the door, turn the page

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:32 pm

D – I buy some of the stuff you put on here. just saying that I would hope that if you really were cheating you wouldn’t post it here or anywhere else. you wouldn’t tell your boys. you wouldn’t write in your journal. you wouldn’t talk in your sleep. we’ve discussed this before. some stuff is “to the grave” – (at least if you can help it). lol.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:32 pm

once she hits that median it’s all out full throttle!!!

Nah, that’s gonna be a crash and burn. And guess who’s getting 3rd degree burns? Guess who, Du?????

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:34 pm

court – I imagine there’s a chickenhead or two out there that would go for the switcheroo but I tell you if a dude pulled that on me things would get real ugly real quick. trust.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:35 pm

if a dude pulled that on me things would get real ugly real quick

Sho nuff cosigning here. Just an attempt to execute such a move would take me straight into “bonquesha”….fo sho!

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:36 pm

Sometimes you mess with the WRONG one!!!

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:36 pm

Alright…on a call from 3:30 – 4:30, so I gotta pay attention. If I don’t come back (cause I’m running out of here when we end), y’all have a fantab evening!

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:40 pm

“a real dirty type chick would bypass you and just call/visit the missus…..”Shiid, if I was real dirty, I would have the missus call her. Wifey already asked if “I could handle this or is this b&$tch gonna be a problem that she needs to address”. Trust and believe, she wants no parts of Wifey.
Court- I hear you, but that’s too much work. It’s not that serious, she reaches out to me periodically, not everyday. Her attempts are getting less and less frequent. Imma just continue to ignore.

DreamsMaterialize

April 10th, 2013
3:41 pm

So what’s up with Ray J and the “I Hit It First” song? It’s been over for years, and he’s still talking about Kim? Looking like he can’t let go. He’s straight crème brulee…soft and sweet. (quick Du, run while I create this diversion!)

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:42 pm

Be a man about it……that’s funny.

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:43 pm

Thanks…Dreams. lol

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:44 pm

Imma just continue to ignore

Du, would it be so bad to just be honest with her?

Heeeeeey, Dreams.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:46 pm

Dushawn – Being able to clean up your own mess, not “be dirty” and invole you wife, avoide collateral damage, have the talk and not igg, is what I mean by being a man about it. To just igg, fade away, let your wife handle all seems so, so, so…what’s the word….wrong???

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:47 pm

involve and avoid

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:47 pm

ITL – I don’t want to have another conversation with her. She sent that shid to my house knowing I’m married. That’s a violation. I never gave her my address anyway. I’m still hot behind that.

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:47 pm

D – I had a wife call me and guess what? she made the wrong call that day. I hurt her feelings, probably made her heart bleed. she probably has a picture of me in her basement that she throws darts at. lol.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:49 pm

Some folks just don’t get it. Own it, own what’s yours…that’s my mantra for 2013 :mrgreen:

Moving on….back to listening

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:50 pm

What exactly is trying someoone “half heartedly?” – Did you ask her if she was wearing panties, did you ask her the last time she thought about you, did you ask her if she ever thought about repeating the last time you two touched?

How do you half heartedly throw out sexual innuendos? Would you have half heartedly plucked her?

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:50 pm

Dang, yall getting gangsta up in here today!!!

Dreams – Ray J has always been moist to me.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:52 pm

@Du: You’re not alone in the wrong, she’s got some issues for sure. But I still think you should at least email her and ask that she cease and desist. It’s the decent thing to do.

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:52 pm

Leggs – See, this mess is waaayyy beyond “oh he hasn’t called me in a week, guess I’ll move on”!!

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:53 pm

@kimmie’s 3:52: Yep.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:54 pm

She sent that shid to my house knowing I’m married

I’m reallly not trying to be mean here, but I don’t get shifting the blame. Dushawn went to that woman’s house, knowing full well he was married with kids. I don’t understand saying she knows he’s married. :shock: Didn’t HE know HE was married before all of this started? Didn’t he know being married, he could have declined all of thing from the giddyup? You’ve had a hand in alllll of this.

But hey, what the heck do I know??? LOL

It’s a given that all of her actions are wrong, but I’m baffled at his response and reaction to her behavior. It should almost be expected (but rightfully dealt with…having a talk to say bug off)

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:55 pm

Okay…I’m done for real….I always like topics that are page turners :mrgreen:

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:56 pm

Celisea- There is nothing to clean up. I’m just killing time. That situation is a non issue. That’s like a peanut to an elephant. My thoughts are about taking Friday off so Me, Wifey and the cockblockas bout can hit to Universal Studios in Orlando for the week-end.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:56 pm

Dreams – I was just thinking about that Ray J situation. I just took it as an attempt to become relevant again. But really, he should just let it go and maybe find a way on the show The Game if he wants to get back in the spotlight. Just ride Brany’s coat tail a little bit more. Even though i thought he was cute, I always felt like he tried too hard…too hard to be hard…too hard.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:56 pm

I was hushing up….lololol

daddy swiss

April 10th, 2013
3:58 pm

ITL — Just popped back in… You rang? :)

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
4:00 pm

Disco, Cel… You say the switch-a-roo would not work on you, but you would not be hanging around ankle grabbing either…. You would, for your own reasons,

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:00 pm

@Swiss: I did. You ever seen They Might be Giants live?

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
4:00 pm

disco – So you know I want to know what you told the wife that called you once :oops:

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
4:01 pm

@Slim: Me, too…… :roll:

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
4:02 pm

Not be caught up like that… But if you were chasing and hanging on like that, then yeah, the ole’ banana in the tail pipe trick would work on you too…especially if the side dude had some game…..

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
4:02 pm

DuShawn brought us back to the topic at hand “Less Conversation,” but he’s not have any conversation (lol).

“I just took it as an attempt to become relevant again” – Me too SlimNu. Ray J is not a bad looking dude, but he’s a bonafide punk. Beyond soft. I bet he doesn’t even know how to fight. Hell, I could probably beat him.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
4:02 pm

How did my isht get spit up like that????