accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating tip: Less conversation?

My friend Brian had a first date recently and he told me what many men often say about first dates: “She talked way too much,” which is apparently a huge turn off.  I always thought the first couple of dates are supposed to be “getting to know you” dates, so shouldn’t talking be required?  Well, it depends.  If you talk too much about the wrong thing, it can be a bad thing.

For instance, you talk too much about yourself, your exes, or reality television.  Brian said he would have preferred that she talked less if her conversation was going to consistently be, and I’m quoting here, “wack conversation,” end quote.  If you have to talk less to impress  someone, I think it is a bad sign.  What do you think?

Do you ever wish that your date talked less?  If you take conversation out of the equation, what else should you do on the first couple of dates?

My buddy Brian said that his best dates are conversation “light” and heavy on activity that lets you show your personality.  He likes going to Dave and Busters, sporting events, or bowling.  He likes to see a woman interact with other people and in different settings to get a good sense of how she carries herself.  His belief is that it is easy to be fake and phony when you are sitting at dinner talking, talking and talking some more. What do you think?

I know a lot of guys who hate talking on the phone, but it seems that men are more and more anti-conversation.  Is it just the guys I know?

Unlike Brian, I love conversation, so please weigh in!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

377 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
2:49 pm

@Leggs: That’s true! If I remember right, she had some folks singing along.

@Swiss: I think we’re going. Should be a great show.

@Du: You already know.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
2:49 pm

MsAtl – There is a customer that comes in here every once in a while…he looks Egyptian or something because he wears eye liner…anyway, he has like 4 LOoooooonnnnnnnng gray hairs on his chin and i’m thinking, why the hell is he hanging on to FOUR scraggly herrrrrs, WHY WHY WHY….and he smells like he hasn’t worn deodorant in 179years. :shock:

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
2:50 pm

“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Na-rQy9PRlA”

LOLOLOL…. Here you go ITL…. I dare you to try and stop thinking about this one!!!! :) :)

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
2:50 pm

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
2:50 pm

If a man hasn’t responded in four months, shouldn’t the message be clear?

Dushawn/Leggs, come on!!

A level-headed woman, sure it would be clear. We’re not talking about that in this case. When you are talking about a stalker, all bets are off!

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
2:51 pm

Enter your comments here

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
2:51 pm

@Bluz: Da da da da da daaa….. :lol: :lol:

@Slim: Just dayum. I’m scared of smelly people. I’m always afraid they’re going to try to shake my hand….. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
2:51 pm

Ex ~ let me clear up whatever confusion you and your friend may have had while discussing my presence at a club in Norcross.

I don’t party in Norcross, been a long time since I’ve been in a club, and I hope whoever it was, she represented!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
2:52 pm

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
2:52 pm

Ok, ok, kimmie, all bets are off (lololol).

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
2:53 pm

Leggs, speaking of clubs, when did Echelon close down????

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
2:54 pm

ITL/Leggs – we need to go to karaoke again!!! Northlake Idol is closed now, though…

Because of today’s topic, I’ve had Elvis’ “A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action” going through my head!

disco

April 10th, 2013
2:55 pm

ummm. dushawn? where did you go? lol. I’m not going to jump onto the stalker bandwagon. I’m going to question whether or not you have been “entertaining” this woman. granted, you don’t have to put your dirt on blast on the blog but I want you to know that I know that you know that I know (lol)

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
2:55 pm

DuShawn – I do not think I got that story but did you wife know about you having meals with her at her home?

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
2:56 pm

@Court: Man……..just…….dang. :wink:

@Bluz: Yeah we do! I’m in.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
2:56 pm

I’m sure I’ll be alone in this thought…..

All bets are off when a married man said yes to munching it up at the crib. This is just the residual stuff for a can of worms opened…. If my recollection is on point, I think he was having fun with it at first. Would this be an issue had “wifey” not shown little appreciation for the gf? Or would we still be having wine and cheese at the crib? Why is she getting beat off the ankles? Didn’t she receive an open arms welcome? Me think it takes two to tango.

Just asking…..

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
2:58 pm

I’m co-signing, Celisea.

(Wait – did I just say that???? :lol: )

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
2:58 pm

I’m struggling with this cake….Key Lime from POC…it’s good but a bit too rich. I can barely eat it all, go figure

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:00 pm

O/T: Since we were talking about feet yesterday and I’n not wearing stockings today, I only painted the 3 toes that are shown wearing my peep toes today! I decided to wear these shoes with this dress, but toes weren’t polished. So, I just painted the peek-a-boo ones (lol).

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:00 pm

Slim – I know that was a sight to behold – eyeliner, long-gray chin hair & body odor!!LOL!!!

Slim – I don’t know if Du told her all that, but we tried to tell him back when it was going on not to go there with ole girl. Now he’s got her nose all open!!!LOL!!

Wonder why Steven Stanley aka Cat Man had to wait until everyone had gone yesterday to make his appearance? “Here Kitty Kitty”LOL!!!

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:02 pm

ITL – There is this one guy who ALWAYS feels like he has to shake my hand to say hello…whenever i see him coming, i try to make sure I look realy busy and grab a few files to hold. I did that last week and that fool waited till I was done to shake my hand. Ewwwwwww…..we usually keep a HUGE jar of hand sanitizer around. I see these men wipe their noses with their hands, play & re-adjust their ball(s) in plain sight, chew tobacco, have dirty nails etc….nothing about that makes me willingly want to shake your hand :shock: What if women went around scratching their cooters and immediately tried to shake their hands. lol

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:02 pm

C – you aren’t alone. where do you think I was going with “do you have a trac phone”. lol.

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:02 pm

Leggs – I’ve done that, only painted the exposed toes!LOL!! Why you faking a full pedi like that??LOL

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:02 pm

Slim – I told her after the fact. However, I didn’t come completely clean. I didin’t tell her I ate over there about four or five times. I was busy trying to get her to believe that I didn’t f*&k the girl. Telling Wifey that I had been in her home that many times would’ve made that an even harder sell.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:03 pm

ITL – I see you got jokes…lol

I’m wearing peekaboo shoes too!! I didn’t paint (as my daddy would say) my toes though. I made sure the toenails were finely clipped after my bath this morning and vwalla (viola)

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
3:03 pm

Celisea- I agree that she may have gotten an open arms welcome at first. However, to the extent DuShawn came to his senses and realized his @$$ was about to get burned, he backed off and tried to put her back in her box. She needs to back off. Hopefully, DuShawn told her he was wrong to entertain that and that he needed to focus on his marriage, not on her and he learned a lesson…

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:04 pm

disco – Gotcha…missed the trac phone comment…let me go back

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:04 pm

Courtside ~ a good 8-9 months ago. It was told to me may have been some bad bookkeeping, money laundering. Nothing stays in DeKalb County, well that side of town. I liked Echelon for the most part.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:05 pm

you don’t have to put your dirt on blast on the blog but I want you to know that I know that you know that I know

disco – I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to read that sentence all the way through without hesitation. :lol:

I only painted the 3 toes that are shown wearing my peep toes today!

Leggs – Hahahahahah, so now you can’t give me any side looks for putting white out on my chipped polish on my french pedi lolol

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:06 pm

MsAtl – Absolutely…I agree that that’s how ole girl SHOULD act. But, if you open a can of worms, sometimes you just can’t predict the outcome. He shouldn’t have toyed and played around and then just dismissed her. That’s how some folks crazy come out. Dushawn need to keep his behind in the confines of matrimony….lol….annnnd IJS

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:07 pm

LOL@Slim and the white out. I was just thinking earlier this morning that I need some white out for a chip on my fingernail. Stupid chip. :(

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:07 pm

Celisea – Don’t you know men and women can be innocent friends and meet up and have dinner at the crib and nothing improper go on or even thought about? I mean, we’re talking mature adults here. Why should one have to stop meeting and enjoying the company of their former sweetheart just because one of you got married? I mean, doesn’t everyone trust each other? :shock:

:lol:

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:07 pm

All bets are off when a married man said yes to munching it up at the crib – You’re not alone, Celisea. Many of us told DuShawn he was wrong to be having home cooked meals at her place then going home to his wife as though he didn’t do anything wrong.

He cheated although not grounds for divorce, but if you can’t do the same things in front of your spouse that you do behind their backs, you’re cheating one way or another.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:08 pm

DuS – Mmm huh? So half truths I see….you sure you weren’t eating more than cheese and crackers over there to have her blowing you up like that still?
I recall when the beau’s ex kept calling…she even sent cards to the house but didn’t sign them, as if I wouldn’t know it was her. I’m not sure what happened to her but I don’t believe she’s been calling for quite some time. I hope she found her another dude.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:08 pm

kimmie ~ Cat Man made his appearance Monday. Even I had to go and read his comment (lo). Wait, did he come back yesterday too???

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:09 pm

Kimmie – Hahahahaha…riiiiiiight

Leggs – Yep, he was told. It was all cute and fuzzy back then. Now ole girl is bout to boil the bunny…lololol Okay, it’s not funny but IJS

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:09 pm

you sure you weren’t eating more than cheese and crackers over there to have her blowing you up like that still?

Cheese, crackers and hope…that’s why ole girl is hanging on the ankles now…

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:09 pm

D – good luck player. right now you good. a real dirty type chick would bypass you and just call/visit the missus. you remember old girl in fatal attraction “I will not be ignored”. lol.

kimmie

April 10th, 2013
3:10 pm

So is everyone saying that Dushawn “emotionally cheated”? :shock:

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:11 pm

disco – you remember old girl in fatal attraction “I will not be ignored”.

I just referenced the “boiled bunny” lol

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
3:11 pm

Kimmie- You had me going for a minute. I was wondering what you were thinking, then I saw your face at the end, lol.

Celisea- I smell rabbit.

Slim- So he doesn’t bathe, but he takes the time to put on Guyliner??? If I polish any toes, I will do them all. But I have to admit, I’ve used the white out touch up before, lol.

DuShawn- Would you prefer that your wife hear it from you or from the female who won’t stay in her lane?

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
3:11 pm

@kimmie: Those are the EXACT words I was going to use. (Shout out to the Bert Show for introducing me to that phrase)

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:12 pm

MsAtl – Me too….lol That was funny

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:13 pm

kimmie – WIthout further details, I cannot necessarily classify what he did as emotional cheating. However, it would be deemed inappropriate. If the tables were turned, how would he feel about his wife having private meals at the home, alone, with her childhood sweetheart???….SEVERAL times as he did.

disco

April 10th, 2013
3:14 pm

kimmie – I’m not because I’m not on team emotional cheating. me, myself, personally, I think he hit but has better sense than to admit to it.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:14 pm

:lol: :lol: @SlimNu. Naw, chica, I sho can’t.

“He shouldn’t have toyed and played around and then just dismissed her” – Glenn Close said something very similar in Fatal Attraction.

Yep having dinner in her home, no doubt reminiscing on yesteryear got someone moist. Apparently, rejection isn’t something she handles well. Watch yourself, DuShawn.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
3:15 pm

Awww, I now see Celisea beat me to the punch…yep “I will not be ignored” (lol).

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
3:15 pm

disco – Me too. I can’t see how he was blogging about should I, should I not, wine and cheesing, ole girl ready wide open….and nothing popped off. Nuh uh. Touching, feeling, kissing, groping….something All of which I deem “cheating.”

Dushawn

April 10th, 2013
3:16 pm

“Hopefully, DuShawn told her he was wrong to entertain that and that he needed to focus on his marriage, not on her and he learned a lesson…” Actually, I never had that conversation. Possibly that is all it would take to resolve this. Just let her know, “that we will always be cool, but we can’t be friends, I’m married, my wife knows our history and our interaction has become an issue.” I thought my non responsiveness said all that.

SlimNu

April 10th, 2013
3:16 pm

MsAtl – I think in some cultures, they do not exercise the practice of using deodorants or anything artificial in that sense. Just a guess….at least i hope that’s the case because I’d surely hate to meet a person that didn’t want to bathe. However, it seems that in the senior community, many do not take baths..at least according to my 75yr old grandmother. I asked her about dating or having a companion and she said none of the men in her area like to take baths and that was not going to fly with her. :lol: