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Dating tip: Less conversation?

My friend Brian had a first date recently and he told me what many men often say about first dates: “She talked way too much,” which is apparently a huge turn off.  I always thought the first couple of dates are supposed to be “getting to know you” dates, so shouldn’t talking be required?  Well, it depends.  If you talk too much about the wrong thing, it can be a bad thing.

For instance, you talk too much about yourself, your exes, or reality television.  Brian said he would have preferred that she talked less if her conversation was going to consistently be, and I’m quoting here, “wack conversation,” end quote.  If you have to talk less to impress  someone, I think it is a bad sign.  What do you think?

Do you ever wish that your date talked less?  If you take conversation out of the equation, what else should you do on the first couple of dates?

My buddy Brian said that his best dates are conversation “light” and heavy on activity that lets you show your personality.  He likes going to Dave and Busters, sporting events, or bowling.  He likes to see a woman interact with other people and in different settings to get a good sense of how she carries herself.  His belief is that it is easy to be fake and phony when you are sitting at dinner talking, talking and talking some more. What do you think?

I know a lot of guys who hate talking on the phone, but it seems that men are more and more anti-conversation.  Is it just the guys I know?

Unlike Brian, I love conversation, so please weigh in!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

377 comments Add your comment

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
11:49 am

no matter how paid and how you keep with that…is what I was saying

Mr_NYC

April 10th, 2013
11:49 am

Leggs, good morning
If you would please email me info on
Department: Human Resources – Title: Human Resources Generalist

alwindham@
my.waketech.edu

Thanks

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
11:51 am

@Court – You need to quit! You should be like For Real and just work the baby hair. :lol:

disco

April 10th, 2013
11:52 am

C – I’m not even going into the right and wrong of her situation. it doesn’t tie into why I don’t think the ending was adequate. if she was working a mediocre job for a mediocre wage I might buy her hitting bottom so quick. by had her stuff together I meant she seemed like she would have had enough money to live on. not only that, she had education and marketable job skills. surely she could have rebounded on that end. and, again, the kid was a meal ticket. lol. watching the movie I couldn’t get past that. sure I see the message he was trying to send but the circumstances didn’t match the message.

tyler perry will have single women thinking they need to start smoking crack to get the man. come on now….

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
11:55 am

Disco- She did have a nest egg. Remember her husband took it out the bank to start his business; that is why he has to give her checks to re-pay the nest egg.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
11:56 am

disco – tyler perry will have single women thinking they need to start smoking crack to get the man. come on now….

I just burst out laughing at this.

disco – You’re over thinking. You’ve rewrote the movie’s ending and gone into the sequence…lol I agree with what you’re saying, IF that’s how it should have rolled, but that ain’t where he was going…lol Yeah, she had marketable skills, should have had monies (aside from the 300gs the hubs took), but that ain’t how he wanted her portrayed. She was living in the now…out of a hotel room, with another’s hub. All the education and money saved wouldn’t have given her that outcome.

We’ll call it a draw…but I still get the message.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
11:57 am

rewritten…not rewrote…my baaaad, for real

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:00 pm

Good afternoon everyone!

I see that you’re no longer on topic and are now talking about movies and tv shows that don’t insterest me. ;-)

I won $200 at work this morning in our quarterly employee drawing!!! Yay me!!!

disco

April 10th, 2013
12:00 pm

C – not really overthinking right now. just recycling what I thought when I actually saw the movie. haven’t seen it in years and I will watch a movie over and over again. lol.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:01 pm

disco – Gotcha.

Funny there are some movies I can watch once. I enjoy but won’t watch again. There are a few that I will watch over and over. I use to be where I NEVER watched a movie more than once.

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
12:02 pm

Hey Bluz- You can always chime in on topic…

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:03 pm

A Perfect Murder, I thought was dang good the first time, but it’s not one of those that I want to see over and over. Flight is another that I won’t likely watch again. Contraband? I watched that one over and over…AFTER seein at the theater.

disco

April 10th, 2013
12:06 pm

C – speaking of repeat movies. I think I watched heat 2 or 3 times in the last couple of weeks. it’s been on a lot. I’ve also been thinking I haven’t seen five heartbeats in a while so I need to watch it one day.

hey bluz – what you going to do with your winnings?

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:06 pm

MsAtl – I don’t really have much to say on the topic. :-)

A good conversation is important to a good date.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
12:06 pm

@disco: I know how you feel. There are some movies that I will stop surfing for every time I see them. Baby Boy is one. I don’t know why….

@Bluz: Congrats!!!! First round on you? :)

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
12:07 pm

Cracking up at “lace front half wig.” I see you Courtside, I definitely know that look.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:07 pm

I’m not even going into the right and wrong of her situation.

One last one on this one….disco, this is why I said you’re overthinking it. You can’t get to the outcome unless you can see the right vs wrong of the situation. You have to know that no matter what you do, if you’re trifling, scheming and scandalous all your money and brains won’t stop fate from handing you your just desserts.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
12:08 pm

Will do Mr_NYC

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:08 pm

disco – Five Heartbeats? Blah…I HATED that movie. Heat was good, but a one time thing for me.

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:08 pm

disco – I’m putting aside $150 for a trip to Charleston for Memorial Day weekend. The other $50 will be just extra money in my pocket for the weekend. My nephew is in town, so I’ll probably take him out to do something fun.

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:09 pm

Thanks ITL! Sure thing!!!

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
12:10 pm

Congrats, Bluz!

disco

April 10th, 2013
12:11 pm

C – OMG. you don’t like five heartbeats??? that definitely lands you back in the “square” category but it’s all good because “I got nothing but love for you baby”. lol.

Penelope

April 10th, 2013
12:13 pm

Movies and books are my favorite. I’m not a big fan of Tyler Perry movies. I do like him.

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:14 pm

Thanks Leggs!

Anyone watch Bates Motel? Since I switched to U-Verse over the weekend and have on demand now, I watched the first episode last night. Pretty good so far…

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
12:15 pm

Bluz- Cool beans! I’m sure your nephew will appreciate it.

Celisea- I liked the Five Heartbeats!

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:15 pm

disco – I just burst out laughing again….at your “lands me back in the square category” comment…that’s too funny. That’s one movie I do NOT like. Nuh uh. If you want me to know how you got started, give me a document. lololol

disco

April 10th, 2013
12:16 pm

ITL – I brake for baby boy, four brothers, coal miner’s daughter and big daddy to name a few. at almost any given time one of them is on. I’ve seen them all countless times but still keep watching.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:16 pm

MsAtl – Maybe since you and disco like so much, I’ll revisit…lol

MissMoni

April 10th, 2013
12:17 pm

-Bluzgirl You won $200??? Congratulations!!! :-) The most they give out at my job is a $60 Visa Gift Card and that’s once a month for the Safety Drawing!

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:18 pm

I dunno, I’m getting into comedies and stuff lately. I told y’all I was rolling at 40 Year Old Virgin. Oh, how bout I watched Ted. Some parts I laughed on but not as funny as I’d hoped. That bear was foul and needed a whupping…lol

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
12:19 pm

@disco: I’ll have to check out Four Brothers. I will ALWAYS brake for Coal Miner’s Daughter. (pssst, one of the first songs I ever sang at karaoke was Coal Miner’s Daughter. tee hee).

What is the Five Heartbeats????

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:20 pm

Alright kiddies, it’s lunch time….

BBL….

MissMoni

April 10th, 2013
12:21 pm

-Into the Light It is an awesome movie directed by Robert Townsend. It is definitely worth the watch, however if you don’t like music then this is not for you, LOL!

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
12:22 pm

@Bluz: I keep watching the trailers for Bates Motel, thinking it looks like something I would enjoy. I’ll give it a try, if I can tear myself away from Game of Thrones long enough.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
12:22 pm

@Miss Moni: I love music! I’ll check it out.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:23 pm

disco – I’m more of the “blockbuster” Oscar winning type. Blue Diamond was another one that I thought was fantab!! I cried when Leo died.

Okay…..off to lunch. I might chance it and walk a bit. My heels aren’t too high.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 10th, 2013
12:23 pm

Wait…ITL has not seen Five Heartbeats??????? My favorite scene….TJ tells Duck..” She cant love you…..I know!!! I been with her!!!!! ” :) :)

disco

April 10th, 2013
12:24 pm

ITL – years ago I was watching coal miner’s daughter and I was just a singing (when you look at me you looking at country). my son came out of his room. looked at me, looked at the tv, looked back at me and cracked up and went back in his room.

another time, my son took the cooley high dvd up to his room to watch. he’d never seen it but had always heard about it. he comes downstairs later, looked at me and asked “why didn’t you tell me they killed Cochise?”. I bout died laughing.

Celisea

April 10th, 2013
12:24 pm

Blood Diamond….don’t know how I typed Blue cause I was replaying the movie while I typed. Maybe I’m blogging too much…

Toodles…for now

Exiled

April 10th, 2013
12:24 pm

So u all talking of gifts from co/workers?

Anyhooo I wish someone wld hook me up with some boxers with no holes in them.

Mine are all holed up now,I need new ones.

My ding goes right thru the holes..,especially when He wakes up after smelling some phoine female scent.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
12:25 pm

Bates Motel, no can do.

I’ve been watching the Ten Commandments since I was a little girl. Can’t believe that I sat and watched it again a few weeks ago. How much is “umpteenth time?

Five Heartbeats was a good movie.

Into the Light

April 10th, 2013
12:26 pm

@Bluz: Mail call

Mr_NYC

April 10th, 2013
12:37 pm

Thanks much. I got it. Sending it to a friend that’s looking and just picked up her master’s

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
12:47 pm

Random: I’m so hungry!!! I’ve started doing the healthy thing this week! I walked 1.5 miles yesterday after work and plan to do that every day that I can, gradually increasing the distance. I gotta get something else to go with breakfast, though, to hold me over…I don’t like to get too hungry at lunch and over indulge! I brought a frozen dinner and really don’t want it, but I need to force myself to eat it. I kind of want to go get a sub sandwich…

Bluzgirl

April 10th, 2013
1:04 pm

I’m craving some fruit…guess I’m gonna run to Publix and get a fruit salad.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
1:15 pm

Excellent, Mr_NYC!

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
1:17 pm

Bluz- Publix has the best fruit salad!!!

Disco- Oh, I love Cooley High! Claudine is another one.

Court- Lol @ your favorite part. I could hear his raspy voice as I read your comment.
You sure you wanna hang with Ole Eddie Kane?

Exiled- I gone need you to go catch a sale at target or something & throw those raggedy things away. Btw- are you talking about the poofy-butt boxers? The boxer briefs are sexier. IJS.

Leggs

April 10th, 2013
1:17 pm

I’m having a turkey reuben.

MsAtl

April 10th, 2013
1:20 pm

I had white bean turkey chili. Now munching a cup of ice.
#pagophagiacs unite