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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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What is a date, anyway?

You would think that the most fundamental thing on the dating scene would be uncomplicated, but alas it is not.  Some people don’t really know what constitutes a date.   At what point is it considered a date?  If you share a meal?  When you spend money? Does the coffeehouse meet up count?  Do you think an invite to someone’s house is a date?

If we can’t even agree on a date, how to we manage to get them?

Do you consider it a date if it happens in the daytime?  Do you think that a date only happens after someone is asked out?

What qualifies as a date and what doesn’t?  When you don’t have a solid plan for the date, is it a date or spontaneously hanging out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

298 comments Add your comment

MyThoughtsAreMyOwn

April 5th, 2013
5:34 am

An appointment; An engagement to go out socially with another person.

Good Morning MIA!
Read you all later….

Single and Happy

April 5th, 2013
7:06 am

hello all

What qualifies as a date and what doesn’t? When you don’t have a solid plan for the date, is it a date or spontaneously hanging out?
If one person pays, it’s a date! if you go dutch, it’s hanging out!

At what point is it considered a date? If you share a meal? When you spend money? Does the coffeehouse meet up count? Do you think an invite to someone’s house is a date. Do you consider it a date if it happens in the daytime? A date can happen anytime anyplace!

Do you think that a date only happens after someone is asked out? Is there another way??

Lee

April 5th, 2013
7:11 am

When one person asks another person to go somewhere for a certain amount of time that requires the woman to look smashing stunning while the fellow is looking exceptionally dashing. If i go to your house or my house that is hanging out and i can do that all bymyself. lol
Thank god its Friday.

Exiled

April 5th, 2013
7:30 am

It’s a date if uall agree to meet…whether money is spend and by whom,it don’t matter:

At the coffee house..cheap date
I pay..date

She pays..date
At the reastaurant..all outdate
At the crib…cheap and she_ready date

Date & smash same day = Hole in 1 ^ Thumbs Up(RIP Dick)

good weekend MIA!

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
7:33 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!!

When I first meet someone, I don’t do “house dates”. That is something that comes much LATER down the road!!! I’ve had a stalker before, so I’m very careful of who knows where I live. However, once the later has come, house dates can be quite romantic, especially when the person puts all the perks & ambiance into it! ;-)

In my book, a date can occur at any time of day. I consider it to be a planned/designated time to be with my mate to enjoy & have fun with each other.

Hazel

April 5th, 2013
8:09 am

When there is a romantic interest involved, I think its a date. As far as that is invovled. Otherwise, I can go on a date with my mummy, pappa or sister, friends whatever. Also I paid, he paid, doesn’t really matter in a romantic date.
@ Missmoni – I don’t do “house dates”. I Love it. I didn’t go over to my now hubby’s house until 4 months of us dating. : )

Hazel

April 5th, 2013
8:10 am

@ Exiled – u r funny

Button

April 5th, 2013
8:19 am

Good tgif!!! I’ll ride on MyThoughtsAreMyOwn coat tail.
It’s not considered a date when there are no romantic interest involved.

Button

April 5th, 2013
8:22 am

I consider hanging out is for platonic friends.

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
8:23 am

-Hazel Awww, that’s sweet and the way I prefer it to be. :-)

Button

April 5th, 2013
8:34 am

Date night/time doesn’t end after 3 dates or once you enter into a relationship/marriage.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 5th, 2013
8:37 am

Guys never think about this kind of thing……

Court – (Phone rings, MissMoni answers) Hey you wanna do something this weekend?
MissMoni – Sure sounds like fun!

Court talking to Exiled…… Yeah, doing something with MissMoni this wekend……
MissMoni talking to MissAtl…. “Got a date with Courtside this weekend!!!! :)

Moral of the story…perception is EVERYTHING!!!

Button

April 5th, 2013
8:39 am

Courtside – wanna do something!! lol

MissMoni – hang up on that sucka! lol

Into the Light

April 5th, 2013
8:46 am

Morning, all!

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
8:55 am

LOL at Button telling me to hang up on that sucka!

-Court I’m the type that would ask what does “doing something” this weekend entail? I’m not good with uncertainties, I need specifics.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 5th, 2013
9:09 am

Button, Why I gotta be a sucka????

MissMoni, Drinks at the Intercontinental….dinner at Rays’ in the City…. :) :) :)

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:11 am

-Court Sounds really nice & like a date, LOL!!! ;-)

Button

April 5th, 2013
9:12 am

Courtside – LOL how are you gonna call up MissMoni with no plans? She’s not a let’s do something kinda girl! lol I bet you want her to pay too. j/k

MsAtl

April 5th, 2013
9:29 am

Morning All!

To me a date is when someone asks you to go out with something half-way planned in mind. It does not matter who pays.

Court- That can be considered a date. Ray’s in The City? cool. Get dressed MissMoni.

Moni- I don’t blame you there. I will meet a man wherever we are going on the date the for couple of times before I let him pick me up from my home. I also will not do a house date until I know the person. Some men think a house date is an invitiation to be wrapped in someone’s loins. No, uh uh.

kimmie

April 5th, 2013
9:32 am

Morning Beautiful Blog Gang!!

Boy, I can’t wait until Disco comes on! I love to read her views on date versus not-date!!LOL!!!

Potential romantic interest = Date

It’s really that simple to me, but you know folks today have to complicate things. I think the notion of who pays & where you go is another topic.

But I will throw in that for me: Dutch = No Date. Dutch = Buddy/Coworker/Family Hanging Out.

You can do the math!

Whachall up to this weekend??

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:32 am

-MsAtl I totally agree, a house date is so NOT an invitation for sex.

Button

April 5th, 2013
9:34 am

Courtside – I see you came up with something mighty quick. Love Ray’s in the city. Now don’t forget to bring a gift.

Ladies have you ever recieved a gift before/after a date?

Men do you give gifts before/after a date?

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:36 am

-Button I’ve never received a gift before/after a date, not unless it was my birthday.

MsAtl

April 5th, 2013
9:37 am

I have to preface this by saying that I don’t have much of a dating history so I don’t know if it is the norm, but I have received a small gift before/after a date. While not necessary, I think it is sweet when a man shows up with a rose.

disco

April 5th, 2013
9:37 am

good morning all.

hey kimmie. funny when I saw the topic I wondered who was going to throw my name out there. lol. yeah I’ve busted a few chops by telling chicks they weren’t on dates but just happened to be two people getting something to eat. like court said, it can be perception. some folks have whole relationships in their minds so it’s not shocking that they can turn a chance encounter at the deli counter in the grocery store into a date.

Celisea

April 5th, 2013
9:40 am

At the crib…cheap and she_ready date

I just ca-racked up at this. This is the “line” of the morning for me.

disco

April 5th, 2013
9:40 am

a date when simply viewed as an appointment is easy. heck, the 4 hour window that the cable company gives you can be constituted as a date when you look at it that way. where relationships are involved you have to put the romantic (for lack of a better word) spin on it. no romantic angle, no date. no anticipation, no date. I asked a guy friend to attend an event with me. he asked “is this a date?”. irked the heck out of me. dude knows I don’t want him. if I don’t want you and/or you don’t want me, it’s not a date. it’s two people hanging out, having dinner, catching a movie, whatever.

Leggs

April 5th, 2013
9:43 am

A date is when you ask me to go somewhere with you, you pick me up (or we can meet there), we converse and mingle with one another seeking to see if we have a connection, you pay for the outing since you asked me out, we say goodnight to each other hopefully ending with the question “when can I see you again” (Wednesday’s topic…lol).

Good morning.

Button

April 5th, 2013
9:43 am

MissMoni – MsAtl – I only experience the gift giving once. While I was surprised I saw it as him being a gentleman knowing how to properly date. He gave me a small trinket after each date. Scented candle, a nice key chain, a pendant and a rose. No man has ever been able to top that. I was very impressed. Unfortunatley we were not a good match.

disco

April 5th, 2013
9:45 am

leggs – agreed. there’s that level of anticipation. that hopeful expectation of what this can lead to. (for new dates). with confirmed couples going out, they can call it what they want. doesn’t matter. they are at the end of the tunnel. the rest of us are just looking into the light.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 5th, 2013
9:47 am

“Now don’t forget to bring a gift.”

A gift???? really????? You do know that accepting a gift kinda obligates you………

MsAtl

April 5th, 2013
9:47 am

Button- That is the same way I saw it; him being a gentleman and knowing how to properly date, open doors, etc. And as you’ve shown, it does not have to be expensive.

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:48 am

-Button He was a gentleman. I’ve only seen that in the movies. :-)

Button

April 5th, 2013
9:48 am

Leggs – is it a date if you have to pick him up?

Celisea

April 5th, 2013
9:49 am

I guess it varies and just depends….for me:

Picked up by him = a date
Picked up by her = Wrong move
Meet up = a date
He pays = a date :mrgreen:
Planned and followed through evening where he paid = a date
Smashed first date = Last date
You paid for yours, he paid for his (i.e. dutch) = NOT A DATE
A bunch of folks hanging out and you like someone (i.e.) = NOT A DATE
Y’all keep “meeting” or passing one another = NOT A DATE
On his couch = NOT A DATE
On her couch = NOT A DATE
Eyes met while passing = NOT A DATE

kimmie

April 5th, 2013
9:50 am

Disco – :lol:

Chance encounter = No Date

Chance encounter + exchange of numbers + invitation = Date

Invitation to house after barely knowing = No Date

To be honest, I believe this topic and all the “is it or isn’t it?” is really BS. I think it’s a lot of mind games going on. Dude doesn’t have the balls or the class to ask said lady out on a real date, so he keeps things evasive. “Oh, you thought this was a date?” He’s testing the waters or wants to get out of paying. Then if he see’s he’s not really intersted, puts it back on the lady to try to make it seem like she’s crazy. Sure there are people out there that misconstrue things, but there are also those that mislead too. So dudes ALWAYS had to make it crystal clear to me what their intentions were.

Ladies, don’t fall for the BS. A dude had to st8 up ask me out or not. If not, he’s a coworker/brother to me, friendzone all the way. No gray areas. I dated men, not teenagers.

MsAtl

April 5th, 2013
9:50 am

Court- What? If you give something, I hope it is out of the kindness of your heart, otherwise I would prefer not to get it. My veiw is that I don’t “owe” a man a darn thing for a date, especially not a piece of tail! No Sir! I wouldn’t even accept a date from someone if I thought they felt that way.
But, we all know you are joking Court, trying to keep up appearances. :)

disco

April 5th, 2013
9:50 am

I have a vision of professor clump in nutty professor doing his “got a date, can’t be late” thing. lol.

that right someone calls and asks you out and you hang up the phone, give a little “Yes!!!” while fist pumping the air and then crip walk across the living room. that’s a date. lol.

Button

April 5th, 2013
9:51 am

Courtside – why does it mean you are obligated? you’re giving a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive just be creative.
MissMoni – trust, it’s done in real life.

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:51 am

-Court Now that’s what was drilled into me as a young girl, DON’T accept gifts from men because they’ll expect something back from you.

By the way, I’m quick to make it known up front that just because you give me a gift it doesn’t mean that you’re getting my “cookie”.

Celisea

April 5th, 2013
9:51 am

No gray areas

Exactly. Set the tone and place the bar high. If you’re under 6 feet, you can’t reach the bar anyway…lolololol I kid I kid

kimmie

April 5th, 2013
9:52 am

Button – On our first date my husband gave me 3 pink roses. Other than that, I’ve not had a gift before or on the first date. That guy you mentioned sounds nice. Sometimes it just does not work out though.

Single and Happy

April 5th, 2013
9:52 am

Giving gifts after dates? at what stage do you do that?

abc

April 5th, 2013
9:53 am

A date is a day of the week, month, year: today’s date is April 5th, 2013. Or, a date is a fleshy fruit borne of the date palm tree; or a date is social engagement intended to have romantic outcome. Don’t think too hard about this.

Celisea

April 5th, 2013
9:53 am

I’ve been greeted with a gift a couple of times…. That’s not so unusual.

MissMoni

April 5th, 2013
9:54 am

Hi Kimmie! Your 9:50 is right on point!
“So dudes ALWAYS had to make it crystal clear to me what their intentions were.” My sentiments EXACTLY!!!

disco

April 5th, 2013
9:54 am

I wasn’t going to address court’s gift/obligation thing but since it got other comments I’ll say I’m grown. I know I’m not obligated to do a dadburned thing. if you want to shower me with gifts hoping for whatever you are hoping for. do you. if I am of a mind to, I’ll accept the gifts. grandma used to say “see a fool, use a fool” and I for one will use you up. lol. of course, I’m not talking dollar store gifts and trinkets but if you are jewelry giving fool then I’ll be a tennis bracelet wearing trick. don’t judge me.

Celisea

April 5th, 2013
9:54 am

Once again, I’m freeeezing. What’s wrong with folks having the air on :shock: It’s dern 40 something degrees outside.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

April 5th, 2013
10:00 am

Ok…. To all….. Going on a date would entail picking her up making the plans, and paying for the date, and any expenses associated… When I said there is an obligation, I was only partly joking…. Accepting and going on a date does not obligate a woman to ANYTHING at all… but requesting and accepting a GIFT changes that dynamic… If you are expecting gifts, then why should I not have additional expectations as well???

Button

April 5th, 2013
10:00 am

Kimmie- he was very nice. I hope he was able to find a woman that appreciates him for who he was.

disco – e hug now stop throwing shade! I peeped that dollar store comment :lol: