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Archive for April, 2013

Marriage: Can you buy happiness?

I can’t remember where I heard it but someone once said that “Money is a sad reason for people to be together.  It’s also a said reason to break up.”  I wish love conquered all and things didn’t often come down to money, but let’s face it, money matters.

I can remember a couple who started out struggling financially.  They were broke but they were happy and they leaned on one another.  Fast forward seven years and one of them inherited a large sum of money unexpectedly.  The changes I saw in that couple really made me wonder if it was all worth it.

I wondered if it was the money that changed them or if it was the money that highlighted problems that were already there.

When it comes to love and matters of the heart, how does money or lack of money play a role?  Should it matter as much as it does?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Marriage: Can you buy happiness? »

Should you date older?

I believe most people have an age range that they target for dating.  We know the youngest we would be willing to try.  What about the oldest?  How many years older you are you comfortable dating?

The difference in age can become a problem but I don’t think it is something that is insurmountable.  A friend of mine dated and married a much older man.  The concern she had was having children with a much older man.  They are now pregnant for the third time and he is in his 60s.   Clearly they worked things out!

If you have not considered dating older, what apprehensions do you have for giving it a try?

How much older would you date?  What is the youngest?  What difference do you think it would make in dating a younger person versus dating an older one?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Should you date older? »

Dating: What will my friends think?

There comes a point in every single person’s dating career when you worry about what your friends think about your date.  Of course, we can claim to be adults who don’t answer to anyone.  We like, date, and love who we want and opinions of others should not matter.  The thing is, though, opinions of some of our friends do matter.

I don’t know if I would dump a guy if he didn’t win my friends over.  I would probably take a second look at what they see that I don’t.  Let’s be honest,  we are all susceptible to having clouded judgment from love, sex, or lust.

When you meet someone new, do you ever ask yourself  “What will my friends think?”

Have you ever had to manage a dating relationship with someone who all your friends disliked?

If your reasonable and trustworthy friends weigh in on your dates, do you pay attention to their observations?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: What will my friends think? »

Dating: Are you a little rusty?

A newly divorced man wants to get our help on dating in Atlanta.  He was coupled up and married since high school, so he literally has zero experience being a single man in Atlanta.  He said that he is dating game is rusty! Do you ever feel the same way too?

What should you do if you don’t know the best way to approach a woman, show interest, and pursue her?  You don’t want to look like a tool or anything.  I think a lot of women would appreciate a simple and genuine introduction.  It also depends on the type of woman you want to approach.  Some women in Atlanta are a bit…how shall I put this, rude? Yes. Rude.  This makes it even more challenging for men.

What kind of advice do you give someone who has not dated since high school?

Do you think there are “baby steps” someone can take before hitting their stride?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: Are you a little rusty? »

Dating: Spring cleaning?

My friend Eva is back on the dating scene after ending her two year relationship.  Her first couple of dates with new guy are going pretty well.  After a fun at home date, new guy made a comment about a few signs of her ex that seemed to have lingered.

Apparently, Eva has not packed up old photos, got rid of his extra pair of running shoes, and oh yeah, his dog is still at her house.   From  his perspective, the ex is pretty present considering he is her past.  It is giving him the idea that her ex comes and goes as he pleases in her life and her house (she assured me this is not the case).

It got me to thinking about how important it is to do a cleansing after a relationship. A literal cleaning of the old life you had with them helps to move on.  Buy fresh sheets, take down couple pictures, and for the love of everything holy, return all pets.

Do you hold on to items from your last relationship?  If you are dating someone new, would you put conceal or get rid of …

Continue reading Dating: Spring cleaning? »

Dating: The jealousy test

One of my guy friends has a girlfriend who has a bad habit of intentionally flirting in front of him.  Thomas said that he believed it started as something harmless that she would do in a joking way.   Lately, he is starting to think she is doing it to get a reaction out of him.

Thomas can be laid back and relaxed and it takes a lot to get a “reaction” out of him.  I believe this is the kind of thing he would dump a girl over.  He said that he is used to women putting him through little tests, but this jealousy test is not something that sits well with him.

I can’t imagine putting that much energy into making a man jealous, but I suppose this is a way to get some attention.

How would you handle a date that purposely tried to make you jealous?  Would that be a deal breaker?  How do you know when it has gone too far?

Do you think jealousy has its place  in a relationship?  Is there such a thing as a healthy dose of jealousy to “show” you still care?

By Wise Diva, …

Continue reading Dating: The jealousy test »

When do you bring up marriage?

One of our readers wanted to get advice about when she should bring up the marriage topic.  She has been dating her boyfriend for less than a year and feels pretty confident about things.  This is why she is anxious to start talking about a future.  She just doesn’t want to bring the one to bring it up!

Do you believe that a woman who talks about marriage too soon is a turn off to men?  What if he is already thinking of her as his future spouse?

In my experiences, marriage usually makes its way into conversations rather organically.  I don’t remember being the one to bring it up.  Admittedly, there was a period that I was no interested in marriage at all, so I sort of avoided that when I could.

If you are really excited about a possible future with someone, can bringing marriage into the forefront actually delay or derail a relationship?

Should you drop hints or subtle comments about marriage to get the discussion going?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading When do you bring up marriage? »

Social media mistakes

In the last few months,  I have watched a couple of situations unfold on social media that basically squashed any chance of a happy relationship.   From Instagram photos causing a serious rift with a married couple – to Facebook comments becoming a problem for a single guy.  Social media mistakes are more common on the dating scene these  days.

Why do you think so many people get into hot water with social media?  So many things are misconstrued and misinterpreted. You would think that exercising good judgment would be the way to go, right?  Common sense seems to be not so common!

Have you ever dumped someone because of a social media mistake?  Has anyone ever questioned you about your own actions  on social media?

Do you think we will ever figure out how to navigate social media without destroying our potential romances?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Social media mistakes »

You read books? Date me!

It’s funny how you may not be able to pinpoint the traits of someone you consider ideal, but you can definitely describe who is NOT ideal.  There is something to be said about knowing what you want and don’t want.  I think most people are reasonable about it, while others.. not so much.

We all have different things that “just does it” for us, whatever that means.  It’s interesting to think about why some things are complete turn offs while other things could draw you in.   It is also funny how one man’s/woman’s turn off can be another man’s/woman’s turn ON.

For instance, I always say that a man with an extensive vocabulary and book collection could make me swoon instantly.  Another woman would think he was a complete square, Herb, or nerd.  She would assume was dull and boring. I’m here for it. ALL day. Yes.

A guy who feels the need to constantly brag or boast of his looks, sexual prowess, or wealth just makes me twitch.  I become overwhelmed with the urge to roll my …

Continue reading You read books? Date me! »

What Happened To DATING?

Hello everyone! Today we have guest bloggers. That’s right, plural. The blogging duo includes my sister and her friend Brian. Check out what they had to say then weigh in: What do you think happened to the art of dating?

I guess it would be extremely appropriate for me to define dating before I continue.  In my opinion, dating is how you get to know someone with whom you may be interested in pursuing a relationship.  Dating used to be the initial phase and was followed by exclusivity (becoming monogamous).  Then “talking” replaced “dating” and dating became exclusive.

Enough of the history lesson!  Nowadays, there is not much dating going on. People are going from hello to hookup! Now, I may be old fashioned, but I when I was dating, I wanted to know enough about a girl to make sure she had been a girl her whole life.  I mean, at least tell me your last name.  Show me some baby pictures or something!

Dating was an art form.  In most cases, a man had to …

Continue reading What Happened To DATING? »