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Archive for March, 2013

Dating: What about your friends?

I don’t know if you were aware, but apparently the acceptable number of male friends a woman is allowed to have is 4.  After that,  you start to look a little to suspicious.  This is according to one man, of course.   A male reader wrote an email saying that his new love interest has at least 7 close guy friends.  This is 3 too many!

I don’t know how this particular number was deemed the safe number of opposite sex friendships allowed, but I think it is a little nonsensical.  I know everyone does not believe that men and women can be platonic friends.  However, just because a woman has close male friends does not necessarily mean it is cause for concern.

When a woman has male friends, do guys who pursue her consider it a red flag?  What if a man had a lot of women friends?  Why do some folks become so suspicious of this?

What do you think it means when a woman has few or no close women friends?  If a man has mostly women in his life who he considers his close …

Continue reading Dating: What about your friends? »

Ex Files: They always come back

Some of us have exes that seem to have some sort of sixth sense when it comes to us.  The moment we have moved on and let go of any idea of a reunion with them, they show up!  Why do some exes always come back?  Better question to ask: Why do we let them?

The decision to reunite with a former flame should not be taken lightly.  Although it may seem easy to forget the reason you broke up, it is worthwhile to determine if things have changed.   Part of the vicious cycle of making up and breaking up, is that we tend to gloss over the part that did not work.   This is especially easy to do when your judgment is being clouded by loneliness or really good reunited sex.

What do you do when you are seeing somebody new and your ex returns?  They appear to have changed and you have all that history with them.  At the same time, you have a great connection and chemistry with the person you are seeing.  What would you do: go for chemistry or history?

Happy Wednesday!

By Wise …

Continue reading Ex Files: They always come back »

Should you complain about weight?

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a guy asking for advice.  He wanted to know if I thought it was a a good idea for him to ask his girlfriend to lose some weight.  It was beginning to become a problem for him and he said that he cared for her, but too much weight gain could be a deal breaker.

I think people usually gain a little weight when they settle into a new relationship.  I know many couples that put  on a couple of pounds right after they started dating.   You skip your work outs more.  You are dining out more.  Not to mention, you aren’t actively trying to seek out attention from other people because you are so smitten with your new boo.

Doesn’t everyone gain the “new relationship” weight in the beginning?

Would you bring up the fact that your date has been putting on a little weight? Do you think that would make you a shallow jerk who doesn’t really care about them?  Is there a good way to do it without causing a massive fight?

Have you ever dated …

Continue reading Should you complain about weight? »

Magic number? Keep it to yourself

When some people start a new relationship, they like to preserve the mystery as long as possible.   This includes the things from their past, like their magic number.

I don’t know why some people thing nothing will go wrong when they ask about someone’s magic number.  It usually leads to an uncomfortable situation where you regret you brought it up.

Of course, the gender double standard applies because women are judged more than men.  This is the reason a lot of women keep their number to themselves.  The idea of having their “image” being tarnished in their man’s eye isn’t worth all that honesty.

Do you think knowing the magic number is that important if you want a relationship with someone?

If a guy asks his girlfriend what her number is, do you believe he really wants to know the truth?

Would you ever break up with someone because of it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Date Planning 101

The art of dating has been lost on some people. The idea is that both people are involved in activity that is enjoyable to them. Unfortunately, many people could use a class on planning a date; others could probably teach it!

The strength of your date planning skills could impact whether or not there will be more dates to follow. So why do some people get it oh so terribly wrong? Showing up without a plan for the evening is a fail. Taking your date to a strip club won’t impress anybody. Definitely don’t take your date to buy weed. These have all happened to me!

Date planning just takes a little effort, paying attention, and finding cool things to do together. Preferably with your clothes on. When it comes to date planning: Women usually love creativity and someone that makes them feel special. Some men enjoy activities that lets them show their strength or agility. Even a little friendly competition could ramp up the sexual chemistry on a date.

There should be efforts …

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Flag on the play: Snooping!

You want to know how to really lose a guy in 10 days? Just go through his phone and get caught. My friend Henry dropped his date off and deleted her number after he found her snooping on his phone. It’s unfortunate because he was quite impressed with her up until that moment.

Nothing is scarier to men than an insecure chick with a penchant for using CSI skills in dating. He said he thought that was just a preview to what kind of behavior she would show in a serious relationship. If she was already looking through his phone this early in the game, it was probably a symptom of something deeper.

I tried to argue that some people are just nosy and aren’t cool with letting things unfold. They have this strong urge to know every single thing about the person they are dating right away. I kind of respect him for cutting his losses early, though. Hopefully the young lady learned her lesson and won’t snoop on the next guy.

If you had the opportunity to do a little recon on your …

Continue reading Flag on the play: Snooping! »

Can you marry your best friend?

Whenever I come across a couple who seem to not only love each other, but like each other, I pay attention. There is something about a couple who are friends and lovers. I don’t know, call me romantic, but these are the couples seem to have a deeper, richer, and more loving connection.

Granted, I don’t really know what goes on in their private lives. Surely they go through the rough patches and manage to weather the storm. I think it helps a lot when you are truly friends. Is it possible to have the love of your life also be your best friend? I think it is! That is the kind of connection I want to have with my future husband.

We usually debate whether or not men and women can be friends. I want to know what you think about your lover becoming your best friend?

Do you consider your significant other your best friend? Do you think there is a deeper connection when there is a genuine friendship in your romantic relationships?

When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t …

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You’re guilty, should you confess?

There are times when people slip up and make a mistake. One really bad decision and suddenly you have to decide whether or not you should confess what you did. Would you want to know if the person you had been seeing for months hooked up with their ex?

I would want to know and I want to believe that if I messed up, I would confess. Would you confess your indiscretions? If you want the relationship to have a shot, is it best to come clean and deal with the fall out?

Have you ever decided to confess about cheating and it actually helped your relationship in the long-run?

If you decided not to confess, would you be able to live with the guilt of your infidelity?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Men don’t play hard to get

After trying to decipher a guy’s behavior, Dawn was just given the reality check she needed: Men don’t usually play hard to get. If you have to do any kind of guessing, you probably should let him go. My guy friends have said the same to me, attraction drives the man’s behavior. It is not complicated because men are simple in that way.

Women often want to figure the men out and determine if they have a real interest in us. The actions should tell us all we need to know. Is he putting effort in? Is it to get to know us or get to know what we can do for him. There is a difference, right?

When it comes to pursuing what they want, men don’t play hard to get. What happens when a man wants to figure out if his attraction to a woman is something he wants to pursue? Should a woman give him time to figure it out if she think he is worthy of waiting?

How do you handle keeping your ego in check so things can progress?

BY Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Is dating making you broke?

Cody has been only been seeing Sabrina for a couple of weeks now and he already has to adjust his budget. Why? Apparently, Sabrina likes the finer things in life. Cody likes the fine Sabrina. Now he is doing way too much to pursue her. He feels that she is worth it. I don’t think any man should go to these kind of lengths to get a woman.

Eventually, she will find out he is strapped for cash. If this is the kind of thing that would be a deal breaker, he needs to know it sooner than later. Why would anyone want to go broke trying to date someone? I understand wanting to impress a person. I even get that men want to show that they can be a provider. Where do you draw the line, though?

Cody felt that Sabrina was out of his league from the moment he met her. Instead of letting her see him for who he is, he took the impress her with shiny things route. What happens if (when?) she gets distracted by the next man offering her more? Is he going to regret the money he invested …

Continue reading Is dating making you broke? »