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Are men fine with shallow?

I have been told that a lot of men really don’t mind it if women are attracted to them for shallow reasons.   The reason some men work out, drive flashy cars, and sport stylish clothes is because they want to draw women to them for the most superficial things.  I guess I never thought of it in that way.  I know women like to attract men, but we generally want it to be for the “right reasons” if that makes sense.

Men, do you agree?  If you are attracting women solely because of superficial reasons, you don’t mind that at all?  If your answer is yes, is it because that kind of attraction leads to you getting laid?

Ladies have you noticed the difference in how you treat men who you are attracted to for superficial reasons and the ones you are drawn to for non-superficial reasons?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

203 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
7:17 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!! :-D

Ladies have you noticed the difference in how you treat men who you are attracted to for superficial reasons and the ones you are drawn to for non-superficial reasons?
Honestly, I haven’t been drawn to a man for non-superficial reasons. The superficial and non-superficial seem to be an all in 1 deal for me, LOL! Seriously, I’m not into flashy cars and things like that. I’m more interested in HOW he treats me.

Penelope

March 29th, 2013
7:48 am

Shallow men are unattractive!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

March 29th, 2013
8:04 am

Doesn’t matter one iota

Long as my itbches love me

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
8:53 am

“The reason some men work out, drive flashy cars, and sport stylish clothes is because they want to draw women to them for the most superficial things” – Ummm, not sure if this is true and I would think this carries a smidget of truth, but they probably do all that because they have the means to do so and it’s how they treat themselves for working hard. Women do the same, not necessarily to attract a man but for their own pleasure.

I like to look nice and I do it for myself. No doubt, we want to attract the opposite but that’s not our initial motivating factor.

Morning!!

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
8:55 am

Morning folks!

Um, I guess i’m like MissMoni in that flashy men don’t do much for me. It comes off as trying too hard and if you have to use material things just to keep folks attention, then he must not believe he has much else to offer. Shallow men and ‘pretty’ boys were never my thing

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

March 29th, 2013
8:56 am

Oh Leggs, it’s absolutely true

Like Chris Rock once said “if men could get [women] in a cardboard box, we would. Cars, jobs, clothes, working out, that’s bait. C’mere [woman] I gotcha now!!”

mark

March 29th, 2013
8:56 am

i drive a 202 ford explorer but i dont have a problem getting women because i treat them well. because thats how my grandmother raised me to treat all women like her until they mess it up.

Button

March 29th, 2013
9:03 am

Good morning! Leggs I agree.

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:04 am

Ok, Dan. Thanks for validating the statement.

Flashy blinds me so I keep walking looking for shade!

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:06 am

Dan the Man is crunked this morning.

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
9:10 am

Yeah Leggs, Dan is on one, LOL!!!

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:15 am

What is a 202 Ford Explorer?

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
9:15 am

Dan – I have no idea why I actually like that song. lol

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:16 am

Nevamind, I figured it out…2002

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:19 am

I need coffee, but I don’t like coffee.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

March 29th, 2013
9:26 am

@Slim

It makes me shake my head like I got dreads, so Ion know either.

That and “no lie, no lie, no liieeyeeii”

Celisea

March 29th, 2013
9:30 am

I think I’m past doing anything for the wrong reason….period :) I guess nothing much to add. I will say though, (some) men like woman that would classify as a simpleton or naieve. And for all the wrong reasons, IMO. It seems it makes life sooo much more easier for them. Less drama, more stuff to get away with…lol

Anyhoo, I need coffee….

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
9:31 am

-Leggs, I don’t drink coffee either, love the smell though. Chai Tea is a good non-coffee alternative.

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
9:35 am

Leggs/MissM – I used to drink coffee at least 5 days a week but now i’ve moved to just drinking hot green tea in the mornings. So whenever I do treat myself to a cup of joe, I feel so WIRED! I can’t keep my leg from shaking because i’m so krunk. lol I haven’t been eating anything other than Greek yogurt w/fresh blueberries for the last few months for breakfast. But today I was like, Bump that yogurt shawty, I’m getting me a damn Egg McMuffin today! :-D

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 29th, 2013
9:37 am

Morning all…..

There are tow thing that we know for sure are going to come from this topic…….

1. Very few women are going to admit jocking a guy for superficial reasons…..
2. All the guys know FOR SURE that if your ride is tight and your gear is on point, women are kicking coochie out of both sides of their panties…..

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
9:39 am

-SlimNu LOL at the bump that yogurt shawty!!! I’m slightly sensitive to caffeine so I totally understand the super krunk feeling. That stuff has me all jittery with my heart feeling like it’s about to jump out my chest. I ONLY drink it when I need my SUPER KRUNK powers to kick in, LOL!!!

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:39 am

:lol: @ SlimNu.

Do not like the smell of coffee. By boss drinks about 5 cups a day, black at that! The smell makes me nauseous. I’m a tea drinker.

Big Al

March 29th, 2013
9:39 am

Women are all superficial. They only care about big bank accounts and big . . . well you know.

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:44 am

Courtside ~ I will step forward and state in my younger days I jocked a guy because he was so into me and weak that I used him to get what I wanted at the time. The only guy I’ve ever used. He was truly Urkel like in his mannerisms, a white man living in a black man’s body. He was nice, but I did use him. I felt bad some time later, but not while I was doing it.

disco

March 29th, 2013
9:45 am

Good morning good people. Flashy generally is tacky. That’s not to say that I don’t like nice things for me and like a man with a few nice things. I’m not dating a dude for his car but I don’t deny that I’d rather ride in the nice car than the hooptie. I’m not dating a dude for his name brand duds (yeah I said duds) but I don’t deny that I’d rather date the guy that looks good in his clothes.

Court – I’ll be the woman to raise my hand and say yeah I check for those things. Yep. They’ll get my attention. Still that’s just part of the battle. A jerk is a jerk. A well appointed jerk is still a jerk.

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
9:47 am

Court – We are not saying we do not want a guy that has a nice ride, decent/nice bank account, big house, nice clothes, etc….however, if he has all those things and is a major DO-UCHE bag, i’m not checking for that no matter how many zeroes are in his account. Thatss all i’m saying. Plus a lot comes along with guys that feel that have it going on like that. Does MO Money MO problems ring a bell?

kimmie

March 29th, 2013
9:47 am

Morning All!!

Hey Dan, you feeling good cause it’s Friday?? Well I am too!!

Leggs, I didn’t know you did not like coffee. Girl, I am an addict!

On topic – Never have been into flashy cars. It was just a requirement that a man HAVE one! As for the other stuff, well men have so many weapons at their disposal for attracting women. A guy can be tore up from the floor up, but have money and power and get any woman he wants. In my opinion, dudes that try hard with the fancy cars & clothes and jewelry and such do it because they probably were the guys that back in high school never got the cute girls. So by any means necessary, they don’t care if now the cute girls are after them because of their new Porche!

disco

March 29th, 2013
9:49 am

Hey kimmie!!! I’m not a coffee drinker either. I dated a guy once who had a little kia sephia. A little beat up kia sephia at that. I put on a good face acting like I was cool with that but deep down I was like really? A kia? Dude. Lol.

Celisea

March 29th, 2013
9:50 am

Grown women have their own stuff. The question now raised is, what are you bringing? IJS That means you can’t come empty handed but that’s not for me, that’s for you.

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:51 am

I’m a tea drinker, kimmie! When I am very sleepy at my desk, I will fix a cup of coffee, take about 3 sips and BAM, I’m up and running. I pour out the rest. Coffee truly stinks.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

March 29th, 2013
9:55 am

@All

Besides being Friday, leaving work early, and Pookie’d up on coffee, I’m hype for another reason

As of (this coming) Monday, my wife will be 26 weeks pregnant and we’re expecting our youngest in July(ish).

It’s a boy, and from what the nurse(s) have seen, he’s long like his daddy (take that both ways), if he any dominant combination of our (mine and the wife) combined looks and brains, he’s gonna be good.

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
9:57 am

CONGRATULATIONS, DAN THE MAN! WOO HOO!!

kimmie

March 29th, 2013
9:58 am

Disco – LOL!!

Leggs – Girl, you would have hated growing up in my house. My parents were coffee additcts, so I got it honest. They were crazy with it too – each had to have it brewed a specific way. My mom liked hers old-school, out of the perculator on the stove. Dad like Mr. Coffee. I walked in the kitchen once and took in the scene of the 2 different coffee pots going and said to myself “now ain’t this a beyotch?!”LOL !! Caffiene does almost nothing for me now. I can’t stand decaf though! I actually love tea too, in fact I am very much into it. Do you ever go to Teavana? It’s one at the mall up from my job. I absolutely love that place. The tea can be expensive, but that’s just one of those things I splurge on. I have all the paraphenalia for it as well. It can be SO GOOD!!!

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
9:58 am

disco – I think your 9:45 is a perfect way to put it!!!! ;-)

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
9:59 am

CONGRATS Dan!!! :-)

kimmie

March 29th, 2013
10:01 am

CONGRATS DAN!!!

That is absolutely wonderful!! All these great new blog daddies, between Purple and Swiss and now you!!!

Must be something in the blog water……….. :wink:

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
10:04 am

Dan ~ hope he grows up to have your pretty white teeth!!!

kimmie ~ I have two glass teapots that I adore. For Christmas one year I got a supply of blooming tea buds. They were actually very good teas and pretty to watch the bud bloom into a flower.

kimmie

March 29th, 2013
10:06 am

Leggs – My hubs gave me a glass teapot and some of those blooming teas for Christmas one year as well!! You are right, they were very good teas.

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
10:06 am

disco – A Kia beats Marta though lol

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
10:07 am

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! DAN!!!!!!

If yall men keep it up, we’ll have to open up a blog daycare round deez herrrr parts :-D

Button

March 29th, 2013
10:09 am

SlimNu are you a vegan?

Single & Happy

March 29th, 2013
10:11 am

Hello all,

I’ve never done anything out of the way to attract a woman, either you like me are you don’t. If a woman starts over complimenting me on material things, that’s a big turnoff.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 29th, 2013
10:14 am

“I put on a good face acting like I was cool with that but deep down I was like really? A kia? Dude. Lol.”

I remember those days….. Right after college, I drove a 1993 Chevy Cavalier…… Needless to say ALL of the rest of my game had to be on point cause if they saw the car first, I got no play whatsoever!!!! When I came up and my ride became valet worthy, I did not have the problem……

disco

March 29th, 2013
10:14 am

Slim – I don’t know. I think I would have felt better about marta than that little piece of car. Lol. I had a brand new car at the time but 1) don’t let men drive my car 2) didn’t want to be escorting him around and 3) I was still fronting like rolling in a kia was alright. I laugh at myself thinking back on it. Thing is I know several guys who have beater cars that they “test” chicks with. Imagine my surprise when I realized that was his main ride.

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
10:14 am

disco – But I must also say, seeing a dude in a tiny car does make me turn my head sideways like a confused dog would do lol

Button – Nope I’m an omivore ;-)

disco

March 29th, 2013
10:16 am

court – i used to have a 2 door, 5 speed 91 cavalier. boy i used to love that car.

Leggs

March 29th, 2013
10:17 am

disco – A Kia beats Marta though lol

You got that right. It also beats having to sit in a restaurant waiting for your ride to come pick you up!! IJS…

Bluzgirl

March 29th, 2013
10:20 am

disco – What’s wrong with a Kia? I drive one! LOL! It’s a great car! Wait…how long ago was this? They weren’t always great cars….

Dan – Congrats!!!! I know you’re pumped!!!

Morning everyone! Nothing really to add to this topic. I’m not superficial at all…

SlimNu

March 29th, 2013
10:20 am

Funny thing with the beau is when I first rode in the beau’s ride, I was so impressed by how clean and nice it smelled. I think that dude is addicted to air freshner and plug-ins, even in the house.

MissMoni

March 29th, 2013
10:21 am

-SlimNu Nice smeilling car scores major cool points with me! Nothing wrong with liking things to smell nice, I’m guilty as charged, sensitive nose. ;-)