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Dating: Style challenged?

I attended Atlanta Tastemaker Magazine’s B. Fab Awards this weekend.  This fabulous event showcased the city’s best fashion and beauty bloggers. It was such a fantastic event!

This event reminded me about our diverse styles here.  There are a lot of people in Atlanta that have style and grace.  So many artists, musicians, creative and tech types roaming Atlanta’s dating scene.  It got me to thinking of how I love a man who has his own unique style.

Needless to say, a man in a suit and tie turns my head.  However, I have a confession to make.  If a guy has poor taste in clothes, I judge him.  I’m not saying I totally rule someone out based on his choice of threads, but something else about him would have to make him stand out.

I suppose that is one of those shallow things that single people are guilty of focusing on in the dating scene. It has backfired on me before, though.  I met a guy at a fancy networking function.  He showed up to our first date wearing really awful and ill-fitted outfit.  Also his hygiene was pretty bad!  I decided he was probably a stroke victim and couldn’t really help it.

When you meet people out and about, what kind of things do you notice about their style or image?  I know some men think ladies have a sexy church lady image, which, apparently is a thing?  I did not realize this was so common.

Do you think that clothes really “make” the man?  If you met a guy who did not own a suit, would that take away from his appeal?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

184 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

March 25th, 2013
7:44 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! *Had a GREAT weekend!* :-D

When you meet people out and about, what kind of things do you notice about their style or image? What stands out to me is a sharp dressed man, with a fresh hair cut, that SMELLS good!!! I have allergies, so smell is very important because my nose won’t lie, LOL!!!

Do you think that clothes really “make” the man? No, but I do think that the man makes the clothes. Example: Two men can have on the same suit and look totally different. It’s about rocking your own individual style and wearing what looks good on you not somebody else.

I love the confident but not arrogant man that looks as good as he feels! ;-)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

March 25th, 2013
7:49 am

Wardrobe choices are like an armory

There are some weapons you’re just going to need (suit). Most though, are for the occasion. No need to take a bazooka to a duel. You can, but still.

More to the point, I dress for how I feel. If I’m fillin particularly sporty one day, there are clothes in the closet for those situations. On average though, I feel more armed the less conspicuously that I dress. It’s the old Sun Tzu “displaying weakness, when you have strentgh” tactic.

It’s gotten me a few major concessions on househould items, cars, etc.

It’s also allowed me to be in places, hold court, and then leave an impression beyond what I wore.

Good morning

Penelope

March 25th, 2013
8:07 am

Hello, MIA!

I’m ALWAYS impressed by a well dressed man. A well dressed man can take it from one end of the spectrum to the other, AND touch the middle. Yes, it maters!!!

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
8:49 am

Morning folks…This should be interesting……

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
8:49 am

You know, on this type topic I don’t really get wrapped to0 tight with men that are super honed in on fashion. Surprised? Well let me ’splain…lolol IMO it’s “birly” for a dude to fuss too much over clothes and junk…lol Don’t get me wrong, I love love love a man that’s well put together, but is that way naturally. I LOOOOVE dudes that look good and especially smell good. But, not a dude that makes a fuss about it. IMO and for me, a dude that looks good is just something he knows how to do and comes natural to him. I CANNOT stand dudes that make a fuss over their looks over and above women. I can’t….ugh!! That’s just so girlish….IMO Can you envision the both of us hogging the vanity??? The both of us needing “time” to get ready??? Really?

Anyhoo, yes, be well put together and all that good stuff. Just let it be though, where he’s doing it naturally and now some caked up, in the mirror, at the spa, gotta be dang “cute” all the time. Y’all know my mantra…crip, clean cut and smelling good. That ain’t limited to suits and stuff. Like I’ve clarified before, that can be jeans and a nice white t or nice white dress shirt. Just don’t be a girl about it…lololol

Lee

March 25th, 2013
8:50 am

what everyone else said. Bad start to the week, car will not start, so right now i don’t care what you are wearing as long as my baby gets fixed!

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
8:51 am

Please excuse my typos…I have a headach, a tummy ache and no coffee…ugh

BBL….gotta get coffee and a bath :)

Oh, I had a nice cozy weekend. Sometimes rain and cold weather can be guud!!! :mrgreen:

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
9:35 am

I don’t think I’m myself today (lol). Something is off so with that being said, I concur with everything MissMoni stated top of the morn!!!

I see Lee has joined me for company (lol).

Good morning.

disco

March 25th, 2013
9:43 am

good morning. no lie. I am shallow as heck and make no bones about it. that being said. all the nice clothes in the world don’t matter if you don’t wear them well. some things just don’t work for some body types. flat bottomed people can usually mess up a pair of pants, jeans, a skirt or dress. y’all know what I’m saying. a dude with hips will mess up a suit I don’t care how designer or tailored it is. lol. okay. I’m being mean but I’m feeling mean this morning. fashion itself isn’t important. looking good in what you wear is. you can get fly to def in goodwill fashions if you got something to work with.

disco

March 25th, 2013
10:07 am

come on y’all. where y’all at? did trees fall on y’all’s houses over the weekend? lol. okay. sorry. bad joke.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
10:17 am

LOL…..disco…shallow as hell huh??? I feel ya….There are a few things that I get killed for but Oh well…. Like I am not feeling weaves of any kind!!! Instant turn off!!! Or low quality shoes and handbags.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:17 am

It’s one of those blah days, disco. I did come across a desperate man doing something remarkably stupid in the dating world.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-impress-date-fake-heroism-article-1.1296005

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
10:19 am

“a dude with hips will mess up a suit”

:) :) :) :) Line of the day!!! :) :) :) :)

abc

March 25th, 2013
10:19 am

I take Albert Schweitzer’s approach to clothing fashion, although not quite as extreme: he owned 7 indentical suits so as not to waste any thought processes on something essentially unimportant, if not meaningless.

I don’t put a lot of thought into wardrobe. If it’s an occasion for a suit, I’ll wear one; I’ll favor a sports jacket over a windbreaker; I rarely wear un-collared shirts; I only wear sneakers at the gym or if doing some sporting activity; and so on. To me, it’s just dressing like an adult. It’s good to be a guy and be able to get away with that.

That said: what’s up with the chicks and the black leotard/boots/baggy sweater look? Out in San Francisco, that’s about all I saw, which I think made me notice that about half the women in Atlanta are wearing the same thing. Tellin ya, lots of those chicks don’t really want to wear skin-tight clothes.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:19 am

“Or low quality shoes and handbags.” = If you shop at Payless, keep on walking by Courtside, don’t stop, don’t pause, don’t even look at him. Probably have a bus pass anyway (cracking up).

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:22 am

Personally, shoes shoes shoes is my weakness. I can do sales racks and discounts on clothes, of course nothing BUT quality clothes, but shoes….ugggh TO DIE FOR!! LOLOL I’m not big on purses. I carry quality purses as well but I’m not gonna spend a grip. Nuh uh, it’s gotta be 40% off and then another 25% off…lol I came soooo close to getting a pair of red bottoms out at phipps. they were 499.00, black patent 4 inch wedgies…mmm mmm mmm. But, I didn’t because really I had a moment of weakness…lol

I grow weak (only sort of “in a moment” kind of way), for a dude that’s wearing the dang thing and it’s looking oh so scrumptous on him :mrgreen:

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:22 am

“Tellin ya, lots of those chicks don’t really want to wear skin-tight clothes.” – Do you mean don’t really “need” to ….

I’m a girly girl and I love to dress. IMHO, I think I wear my clothes very well, and like disco stated, I can make something from Goodwill look rather fetching (lol).

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:23 am

are my weakness not is my weakness

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:23 am

Oops, only meant to put disco’s name in bold.

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:26 am

499.00 or 599.00….cant’ remember…gotta keep it straight, somebody might go back and read it…lololol

I don’t EVER wear sneakers unless hitting the gym. I didn’t buy my kids sneakers for the first 6 years of her life…lol It was t-straps Stride Rites or black patent or Mary Janes shoes, with laced topped socks. She bought her first pair at 7, from birthday money collected from all her uncles and kinfolks. Even then, it was a pair of t-strapped Keds…lololol

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
10:29 am

That’s it Leggs…… See ladies with fake leather and its peeling…. Taps worn off of the heel or the heel is leaning cause she walks on the outside of her shoes… Just damn, damn, damn…….. And on top of all of that, the zipper or snap on that cheap ass bag is broken…..

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:30 am

And the worse: A dude wearing cheap cheap cheap. Cheap just looks like it itches…lol Noooo can do!

I guess Imma go back downtown and work tomorrow…lol I’m still “working from home.”

Alright let me get on the grind. Might be at home but I still gotta work….

BBL

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
10:36 am

Morning All!!

I love a well dressed man and thank God I have one! Not only well groomed, but great personal hygiene. At this age, I have absolutely no patience for grown folks period that have poor personal hygiiene habits. Even if you are style/fashion challenged, at least get that part right, please!! And part of good hygiene is not only having a clean body but wearing clean clothes on it.

Yes, call me shallow, but I do judge a guy over 21 that does not own one suit or at least a sports jacket and nice pair of slacks. That’s how my dad raised my brothers. I know a lot of jobs now are business casual, but it’s sad when you can’t reach for anything decent should an occasion call for such. Even if your job does not require it, whatever happened to “Sunday best”? I know I am thinking very old-school but it works, I’m sorry.

I went out with a dude that was 40 and worked in IT. He wore khakis and polos to work. I invited him as my date to one of my brother’s wedding. He wore slacks and a dress shirt. I was a bridesmaid, so I was sitting with the wedding party at the reception. One of my aunts mistook him for one of the waitstaff, to me. :shock: He didn’t own a suit and had a sports coat, but didn’t wear it. I think he called himself rebeling a little against my boughie family, but all he did was make himself look bad.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
10:38 am

Worse…she is two weeks away from getting her braids redone, or her new growth has out paced her sew-in…YUCK!!!!!!! Looks like she escaped from TRACK HELL!!!!

abc

March 25th, 2013
10:39 am

Lots of guys have an aversion to any semblance of dressing up. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that, at least not to other guys. I don’t mind wearing a tie, personally. I’m used to it, I guess. I guess I’d describe my dress as being low key.

I won’t wear any clothes that have great big logos on them, though. Giant Polo logos look kinda dumb. Nike swoosh needs to be tiny.

disco

March 25th, 2013
10:43 am

leggs – it’s cool. you can put my name in bold all day because I am in bold form this morning. done already called one somebody out and had to apologize to the poor soul who got caught in the crossfire. lol. I felt bad. had to make sure that she knew it wasn’t about her and wasn’t directed to her. yep. bold me all day long. lol.

kimmie – girl don’t let us have a funeral in the family. the cousins have to scramble to come up with (ie. borrow) suits. most still end up showing up in slacks, button downs, sweaters. lol. girl they think matching jeans and jacket is a suit.

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:44 am

One of the chicks on my floor is rather ahem “thick” and allll of her stuff looks too small. Her arms always look like if she stretches them all the way out, the jacket sleeves will rip at the seam. Her skirts (and slacks) are super tight. She got kajungle sized thighs and they have lumps in them. For that reason, you should go up a size…or two and you should NOT wear long slits in your skirts. A-line maybe? IJS Everybody can’t be thin and won’t be thin, but the art of dressing IMO is looking good in what you’re wearing, no matter your size.

I cannot stand to see folks in clothes too small.

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
10:45 am

Yeah, can’t do cheap shoes or handbags, anything that’s supposed to be leather needs to be LEATHER and good-quality leather at that. Some things you just can’t skimp on.

Men’s clothing has always on the whole appeared better made. So when a dude shows up in cheap stuff, it is really obvious to me. Better to invest in a few quality, well-tailored pieces that you can mix and match.

disco

March 25th, 2013
10:48 am

C – you just made me think of the song bustin loose. don’t know why but a lot of big girls didn’t get the memo. they either wear stuff that’s way too big trying to hide their size or stuff that’s way too big that points out just how big they are. this is where friends/family who tell the truth should come in.

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
10:49 am

Disco – Yep! My dad and his brothers(my uncles) had ZERO patience with that! You show up dressed like a man, not a thug, like my dad would call them. Some of the younger generation has to scramble when stuff comes up, but not my brothers and not my older cousins!

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:51 am

“…or the heel is leaning cause she walks on the outside of her shoes…”

I have never understood that one. I have seen many women wobble down the street. It baffles me that a woman would wear heels that lean.

“And the worse: A dude wearing cheap cheap cheap.” – Yes indeed…too many bumpkins here wear white plastic shoes that curl up in the front.

disco

March 25th, 2013
10:52 am

oooh. I hate to go off on a tangent but y’all are talking suits and I was thinking of my suits. I have several white suits (one in particular I bought several years ago and it’s still in the packaging from the store with tags on. shame on me). anyway, I saw a bad A white dress recently and I resisted the urge to buy it but it had “white party” written all over it. lol.

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
10:54 am

disco – She’s newly married. I always wonder if her hubs sees what we see. Also, it’s gotta be dang miserable with EVERYTHING too tight. I mean I’m hitting the treadmill fiercely if my waistband starts feeling snug. I can’t do the muffin top or stuff too tight. I don’t even like my panties too tight…lol IJS I don’t know folks size cause I’m not a stringbean and everybody won’t be thin. But, again you can look good in what you’re wear, whatever your size.

Yeah, someone needs to have a talk with her. Oooh, and the same with her shoes. She hits the lobby floor and it sounds like she’s walking on spikes or nails. You should not only buy quality shoes, but take care of them. Nothing wrong with things maybe being too tight and you can’t spring for a pair. But you dang shole can hit the shoe repair shop and keep the heels in tack. Nothing tackier than the leather or fabric on your shoe heel eaten away cause ya wearing them without care.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
10:55 am

I apologize for my use of the word “bumpkin.”

Note to self: that new shiny brown bag you just purchased, don’t carry it around any bloggers you may meet (cracking up).

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 25th, 2013
11:00 am

A few weeks ago, several of the guys from the office went to lunch together….. One of the guys pulls out his wallet and its the old canvas thing with the velcro closure… I was miffed about that for the rest of the day…told him that a grown ass man should not have a little boy wallet……

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
11:04 am

Cel – I agree, everyone is not going to be skinny. But they are making a lot of nice things for larger sizes now. They have many more options than they did years ago. I worked with a woman years ago that I know was well over 300 pounds, but looked so nice every day! Her clothes really fit her well and they were beautiful. I’ve actually known a few ladies like that, so it can be done.

Alot of people do not know how to take care of their things! My mom used to preach that. It’s not enough to buy nice things, you have to take care of it or you may as well go buy something cheap and dispose of it after a couple of wears! I hate to see nice sweaters and wools piling and frayed. If it’s supposed to be dry-cleaned, dry clean it! Sew the buttons back on, get the shoes repaired!

Reio

March 25th, 2013
11:04 am

Why should it matter how much a person pays for what they happen to be wearing when you see them?

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
11:05 am

Since we have a couple of “off topics”, and a link posted…can I, may I? Pleeeease….okay…thanks!!

This is the bed I settled with. It won’t be in for another week. I had to wait “a minute” for them to get it in….but, here’s what I settled with…

http://www.havertys.com/Product_52253?curIndex=8&resultCount=48

disco

March 25th, 2013
11:06 am

kimmie – re taking care of things. in my mind I heard my momma say how I always used to do a whammy on my leotards/tights. lol. as a kid I hated wearing dresses and I guess I was just too rough on those bad boys. they had holes in the knees and rips down the side each and every time she put a pair on me. lol.

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
11:07 am

Kimmie – That’s half the battle…taking care of your things. They’ll last much longer. And no, everyone won’t be skinny, but do the dang thing, whatever your size. Yes, I too see plenty of things now made for all sizes.

Celisea

March 25th, 2013
11:10 am

Actually, it’s not the bed pictured, it’s the one underneath where it says “alternate views”, the bed on the right.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
11:12 am

disco ~ I too despised wearing dresses growing up. I was very much a tom boy and could climb a tree and jump a fence better than the boys in the hood. Anyway, my legs were toothpick like and I needed those dang tights to give me some substance (lolol).

The key to having your clothes last is to (1) not dry those that are washable and (2) take care of all the others (3) never throw your clothes on the floor. Mentally, it makes me think that you do not value your clothes.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
11:13 am

Dang, we’re still on the first page.

disco

March 25th, 2013
11:15 am

leggs – generally I’m really good with clothes. i iron everything all at once and hang everything up. a place for everything and everything in it’s place. but every now and again I have one of those mornings where I just can’t get right. the clothes don’t feel right, they don’t look right. it’s not the look I was going for. I swear I can put on half a dozen outfits before 7am and the messed up part is when I get home at the end of the day and all six of those bad boys are laid across the bed. I hate those mornings. lol.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
11:20 am

I too iron everything, but can’t all at one time. Ironing my clothes for the next day is the first thing I do when I get home. Been like that for decades. After that, then I’ll cook dinner. No way I could iron everything, change outfits 7x before settling on one, only to have iron those 6 over again. Very rare for me to change outfits in the morning. I pick items depending on weather, clients in office, calendar events for the day and/or any lunch dates I may have.

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
11:21 am

not dry those that are washable

Leggs – This is why I don’t want my husband doing my laundry, or laundering some of my daughter’s things, bless his heart! You can’t just throw everything in the dryer!! Some stuff shrinks, gets faded and rough-dried and tangled, it’s a mess. I have a little folding laundry rack i put up in the guest bedroom when I wash and hang some of my nicer things on it to air dry.

abc

March 25th, 2013
11:26 am

I’d think a grown man couldn’t care less about somebody else’s wallet. Not hatin, just sayin.

It boils down to vanity, I think. While I think I dress appropriately most of the time, I think putting excessive focus and thought to it isn’t that good a look. Maybe for chicks, but absolutely not for guys.

Leggs

March 25th, 2013
11:27 am

I love my yellow, plastic folding laundry rack. I remember when I purchased it. Lil leggs was 2 (lo). It’s still in mint condition.

kimmie

March 25th, 2013
11:29 am

Disco – My daughter is more on the girly side, be she too is very rough on the tights!! I did not understand! I would constantly buy her new ones because I didn’t want her to go out like that, much to hubs chagrin, but I told him I would accept the cost! She does better now that she’s 10, but it was rough going there for a minute!

disco

March 25th, 2013
11:29 am

leggs – the key for me is to have an idea of what I’m going to wear in mind when I go to bed. if not, there’s always the possibility that all heck will break loose in the morning. everything can be clean and pressed and ready to go and I just can’t make it work. it can be as simple as putting on the wrong bra and messing up a whole outfit. lol. and, to add insult to injury, don’t let my hair have a mind of it’s own in the morning. I’ll be so glad when the weather breaks and I can resort to the wash and go for those days.